too depressed for drugs?

[RRJ31337]

Hey, so basically like 4-5 months ago back in about september i was smoking crack , shooting , snorting coke and heroin , popping xanax like candy, smoking pounds of pot, snorting as much trazadone as i could before my nose clogged Absolutly depressed.

I met a girl (long story short she found out she was moving in a few months so we couldnt date) well she made me promise not to do anymore heroin and ever since ive just been depressed.

I still have my crackpipes and dealers number but its like when i even think of getting high off crack or coke i just become more depressed. I was in a very specific mental state when i was smoking crack and i know if i did id go right back to that state. I have no desire to do coke because all it makes me wanna do is more and more and drink a bottle then i wake up with no memory of the fun but 100 bad consequences.
(the last time i got very coked out i got into a fight with my ex and she wrecked my car and i have no memory of it)

All i do now is smoke weed, i want to quit it so bad but ive attempted it several times and it takes me to a very bad mental state.

I really really dont wanna bitch about things that everyone goes thru but basically, this girl that i made the promise too asked me to move in with her in the state that she went to. I told her how i loved her and basically ever since then theres been less and less communication daily. I used to talk to her ALL night EVERY night and that became my new addiction.
Before we started talking every night my vince to pacify my mind was drugs.

Now the thought of them depresses me, all i want is heroin because it made me not care but i know better. Ive been drinking every night for the past week. I just wish i could turn my mind off.


Has anyone else ever gotten too depressed to do drugs?

Edit: (Sorry if this post seems kinda everywhere, like i said ive been drinking for the past week and tonight is no exception)

 

[cappatown]

Yeah I'm a major pot head and don't smoke nearly as much if depressed/suicidial.

 

[RRJ31337]

Honestly im just looking for another person to communicate with. I dont care about gender, it just helps me get out of my head

 

[RRJ31337]

I deleted my facebook and instagram this morning. Im really trying to get over this chick and i know if i still have my insta and facebook active im GOING to check her pages daily so i got rid of them but also isolated myself from the rest of my "friends"

I feel like id say something or make a post on facebook then EVERYBODYS watching waiting for the end result and when it doesnt come due to some unforseen circumstance i feel like i come off as a fake or a liar.

When id wake up it would be the first thing id do is go on facebook, check messnager. Finally said fuck it. I felt liberated at first but now i just feel more isolated and i cant figure out if its what i want.

 

[cappatown]

Yeah I'm going through something like that as well, I had to break my phone so I wouldn't have a way to try to contact my ex.

Trying not to obsess about it.

 

[johnnypotsmoker198]

Why not destroy your crack pipe, delete the number from your phone of your dealer and just smoke weed?

Seems you have an addictive personality, weed never hurt anyone (literally). Find something you enjoy to keep your mind active, staying idle and depressed will only lead to more depression. The best thing will be to keep your mind active.

 

[endlessnameless]

Hey buddy,

I completely understand what you're going through as regards being too depressed to do drugs. I'm detoxing from heroin right now, but before I decided to take the jump I was depressed while using anyway. I'd be almost suicidaly depressed when my dealer had nothing yet when I got what I needed to get rid of the withdrawals I was still depressed. I'd just isolate in my room smoking the heroin, and when I had none I'd be too depressed to leave the room anyway.

If gender isn't an issue (I'm a straight male just for the record anyway) and you're just looking for a buddy to chat to and get shit off your chest; to get out of your own pool of thoughts for a time, I'm looking for the same thing. Feeling rather lost and alone right now and as difficult as it is to communicate effectively when we're this abjectly depressed, the exchanging of ideas with others - even if its just one person to begin with - is what will get get us out of this.

You said you've deleted your social media accounts but if you like you can PM me and we can work something out as regards chatting. I recently had to get rid of 99% of my current social circle because I'm detoxing and none of them will even entertain the idea of getting off drugs - alcohol and heroin - and I just cant be around that, so it'd be good to make a new friend.

I used to run an online forum for about eight years. My method of recruitment was taking a pen to the walls of various toilet walls, seats around the city etc and I'd write the URL. I gained a lot of members from around the city, made some amazing friends from all different walks of life yet each in some way similar to myself. Even met a few girlfriends. We'd talk about everything from mental health issues to the Occult to drugs - you name it. It evolved into a self help group eventually too. One of the best things I've ever done. I've been thinking about doing it again actually so if you're interested in joining let me know and I'll get the URL to you. I think you're still Greenlighter status so I'm unsure if you can PM but we can work something out, just reply here I suppose.

Glad I read your post anyway and I hope things are a little better for you today. I know for me shits very dark right now, so dark that I even broke my sobriety this morning and scored. As soon as it sunk in what I had just done, I wrote an email to make an appointment for an addiction councilor (although I'll wait until I wake up in the morning to send it as I want to read it in a fully sober state). Anyway, let me know how you're holding up. Take care man.

 

[r0bz1ll4]

I've been in too bad of mood, maybe not depressed per se, but did not care to even take opiates I had in the house. just didn't want to do anything really. til I had no option... dehydrated from vomiting and diarrhea so had to pull myself together enough to make some pods. damned if you do damned if you don't sometime.

 

[herbavore]

If gender isn't an issue (I'm a straight male just for the record anyway) and you're just looking for a buddy to chat to and get shit off your chest; to get out of your own pool of thoughts for a time, I'm looking for the same thing. Feeling rather lost and alone right now and as difficult as it is to communicate effectively when we're this abjectly depressed, the exchanging of ideas with others - even if its just one person to begin with - is what will get get us out of this.

You said you've deleted your social media accounts but if you like you can PM me and we can work something out as regards chatting. I recently had to get rid of 99% of my current social circle because I'm detoxing and none of them will even entertain the idea of getting off drugs - alcohol and heroin - and I just cant be around that, so it'd be good to make a new friend.

I used to run an online forum for about eight years. My method of recruitment was taking a pen to the walls of various toilet walls, seats around the city etc and I'd write the URL. I gained a lot of members from around the city, made some amazing friends from all different walks of life yet each in some way similar to myself. Even met a few girlfriends. We'd talk about everything from mental health issues to the Occult to drugs - you name it. It evolved into a self help group eventually too. One of the best things I've ever done. I've been thinking about doing it again actually so if you're interested in joining let me know and I'll get the URL to you. I think you're still Greenlighter status so I'm unsure if you can PM but we can work something out, just reply here I suppose.
.

I love hearing the creative and proactive ways that people have of reaching out to each other; shouldn't be so hard but in truth it takes unbelievable courage. Who could ever explain our species? We are all dying of isolation right next to each other.8) Much love to you for holding out a hand.