Tinder Opening Lines

[Mysterier]

"What's up, sunshine tits? I know how to fold a fitted sheet."
"Hi, [insert name]! Would you like a regular baby or a jelly baby?"

If that doesn't get you throwing hip, I don't know what will. You'll probably end up cuddling with your best bro. You know, you can't find that kind of love just anywhere.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Oh i gotcha.

I just don't like putting in too much effort into women. If they come to me then that's cool. If not, i don't chase.

You could probably guess, i don't get laid often.

I agree with you.
But once upon a time, I didn't, haha.

Usually I don't try to pick someone up, and that's when you end up in someones bed.

My friend has this thing he calls doing a Kobe. Once a chick, a bartender, gave him her number.
He took the napkin, making a ball of it and threw it in her face, saying Kobe.
She fucked him to pieces that night.

Usually, being a semi, inconsiderate asshole with no interest seems to get one further than chasing it.
Desperation, even just a hint of it, reeks like fresh manuer.

As of now, neither do I. But sex is pretty much just alot of physical effort for a few seconds of pleasure.
It's what leads up to sex that's exciting; once those legs spread for me, the excitment is gone, haha.
But don't recite that to me when I'm drunk, becasue if I'm drunk and tits are in the vincinity, I want tits.;
being drunk wakes up that horny beast that lies dormant right now.

So, shh. Let the beast be.

 

[Joey]

My first move as a mod is going to be to lock this thread because its extremely misogynistic, pathetic, all the possible advice could be given has been given, and the OP is gone for months anyway.

2/10. Good for a laugh but not a productive topic in any fashion.