Lacey I missed this thread but I do understand how you're feeling. To anyone else struggling to cope my heart goes out to you as well. I lost my fiancé David back in 1987, can't believe it will be 26 years in May. I hated the fact that before he left we quarreled and never got the chance to say sorry. He went out to a club on a Friday night to watch his brother's band play.
I had fallen asleep and was awakened by pounding on the door. I was not expecting two cops to be standing there. But they had his driver's license and needed to verify that this was his residence. I started to get upset and they needed to come in and talk to me. They told me he was killed in a car crash and that his friends were alright. But he had flown through the windshield after the car rolled a few times. He was killed instantly. I was a blubbering idiot, oblivious to the fact that I had an ounce of weed sitting right there on the table. They said nothing about it but wanted to notify next of kin (his mother)
I called her and it was after 3 am and tried to tell her what happened but she cursed me out and hung up. Then the cop took the phone and called her back to reiterate what I said was true. It seemed a blur after this, I called my mother who came right over. We went to his family's home and the family was of course devastated. She was a divorced mother who had to make the funeral arrangements, he never knew his dad. My parents went to the funeral service with me and then to the cemetery. I was in a fog still, just going through the motions.
My stepdad noticed something strange. David's brother, sister and bandmates suddenly left before the burial service was finished. He told my mom and dad that they were up to no good and we should leave now. My mom said "you're nuts." Got back to the apartment and there they were looting the place. I forgot to lock the damn door I was such a mess. But they acted so nonchalant, brother says David would have wanted him to have the drum set as they were carrying stuff out of our apartment. I will never forget, "Be careful with those Zildgen cymbal stands.They're expensive." I'm just standing there crying and my stepdad told them to get the fuck out and they had no right being there. Those people took all mine and his jewelry, my coin collection and photos I had.
It got weirder when I was contacted by his mother's attorney demanding her rights to his life insurance policy. She was on the warpath, even though I was named as beneficiary. Though we were not married yet, she wanted that money. So I had to hire an attorney too. A couple weeks later, my car which was parked on the lawn mysteriously got smashed into and I had an idea who did it. Because my car was totaled, the next day a friend drove me past their home, and there was the brother's car with a cover over it. I had no proof it was him but I knew he did it.
It was hard grieving those first few months because of all this turmoil. After a lot of back and forth between the attorneys and the company he worked for, the policy didn't come into effect until he worked there 90 days. He only had 89 days in so nobody "won." People can get real ugly when loved ones die.
A strange thing happened six years later when I was getting my hair done at a salon. I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding so the girls and I were all hanging out that morning deciding how we all wanted to match. Out of the blue, David's sister approached me with a snide "Hello, Theresa" I was stunned and don't recall what exactly I said to her. But I wanted to punch her in the face so bad. She was there with her mother getting her nails done. I never saw the woman as she exited through the back door.
I don't really hate them much anymore. It would have been nice if they would have left me at least a photo of David to remember him by. I still have my memories and nobody can take those away from me. Sorry for the long rant but I needed to get this out.
