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This chick used me for sex now I'm angry af and a little heartbroken plus a dillema

M

max_

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
578
I met this girl about 2 weeks ago at uni and we became study partners. She came to my house to study on sunday and we spent the night. Now she says she wants to be just friends. She even said to me after we were done 'thank you i was so stressed, i needed this'. This means she fucked me. She just wanted me for sex and now I don't know what to do because I don't want to keep talking to her but I really like her other friends (all girls, I lile then as friends, of course). I really would feel sorry if i didn't hang out with that group anymore so I don't know what to do because I don't think I can stay friends with all of them and still be almost not talking to this girl. Maybe they like me and still want to be friends but I don't know.. Plus I don't want to sit nowhere near her and don't want to talk to her so I'm not sure if I should stay away fromthe group altogether or just accept that she treated me like this.
 
Did you say you wanted a relationship before you had sex? She probably thought it was a fuck buddy or one time thing to you as well.

Just tell her that you dont feel too good about what happened and dont make a big deal out of it. She might not know you are upset.
 
zephyr said:
Did you say you wanted a relationship before you had sex? She probably thought it was a fuck buddy or one time thing to you as well.

Just tell her that you dont feel too good about what happened and dont make a big deal out of it. She might not know you are upset.
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First of all, even if i told her that I'm upset, that wouldn't change anything because she's still not going to sleep with me again. Besides I don't want a relationship, or at least I'm not specificaly looking for one atm. I would like to keep this girl as a fuck budy or girldfriend I don't care. But she made it clear that this won't happen again anytime soon.
Or is she just testing me? I don't think she's testing me, I think i've got her figured out ans she just wanted me for sex. Also she's 19 and I'm 25 .
 
Nah. If she said its a one time thing its probably best to just treat her platonically and dont have her around again unless she asks. If she does then you spell out to her what you want and if it works out great. But I wouldn't bother chasing her at all.
 
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She's young, i doubt she's deliberately making life difficult for you.
Not that it's an inappropriate age difference...

If you slept with her, and wanted to - but don't want a relationship - what did you want to happen?
Maybe you both "used" each other for sex? Isn't that the point of having a 'fwb' arrangement?
 
max_ said:
First of all, even if i told her that I'm upset, that wouldn't change anything because she's still not going to sleep with me again. Besides I don't want a relationship, or at least I'm not specificaly looking for one atm. I would like to keep this girl as a fuck budy or girldfriend I don't care. But she made it clear that this won't happen again anytime soon.
Or is she just testing me? I don't think she's testing me, I think i've got her figured out ans she just wanted me for sex. Also she's 19 and I'm 25 .
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Print out a photo of her, stick it on a love doll and just pretend she is there. Once you are done stick her back in the closet where she belongs.
 
unrealistic expectations, maybe she just didn't mesh well with you and she's upfront about it.

if you are going to get this upset even though you didn't want a relationship simply because you thought one shag would lead to many thats a bit childish. if it bothers you just dont be around her
 
Seems misplaced to be upset that she doesn't want sex again. Did you sign an agreement beforehand?
 
She didn't use you, you're just upset because she doesn't want to be your fuck toy and it hurts your ego. My advice is suck it up and grow a spine, uni is exactly the time for people to do that. She doesn't owe you any commitment after fucking you.
 
Durzo1258 said:
She didn't use you, you're just upset because she doesn't want to be your fuck toy and it hurts your ego. My advice is suck it up and grow a spine, uni is exactly the time for people to do that. She doesn't owe you any commitment after fucking you.
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I agree with all of this. It's not like you were dating or she was your girlfriend. If she's hot and sexy consider yourself lucky, and move on?

Or if you want a woman you can have sex with regularly find a girlfriend?
 
Depending on how emotionally stable you are, maybe you just found a fantastic FWB? When I was your age, this was the holy grail. A chick who is too busy for a relationship, but needs an occasional "stress relief"...mmmmmm those were the days....
 
max_ said:
as in I am genuinely interested, if I weren't I would have had sex with her. I don't do that.
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Oh, so the title and the posts are misleading. It's not the sex that's bothering you. It's the feelings.
 
Just tell her. You've been inside her so talking to her should be easy.
 
I always find amazing that it's easier for people to get naked and fuck than to stay dressed and talk.
 
It is pretty weird.

Dont worry. Feelings go away eventually.
 
You have known this girl two weeks. You don't even really know who she is yet. Enjoy the memory and stop making it weird.
 
Why do you feel she owes you a relationship?

There was no mention of dating.

Also she might be game to go again if you don't make it weird but you are.

I am sorry but you chose to have casual sex and now you want more and you want to demand it in front of your peers and blame her for it if your peers judge you?

Ok what if it was the other way around and you didn't want a relationship with someone you slept with? How would you react? What if it was made known to your peer group.

So my advice is take some fucking accountability in your life choices.

I think you are making it weird and am willing to bet so will your peers so best thing to do is accept it for what it was.

Also a gentleman does not kiss and tell so making a big deal out of this is not going to make people like you one bit.

So what she needed a lay, you were quite keen. You could have said you had feelings for her and didn't want to be a slut or man slut or player or whatever the fuck you want to call it but you didn't.

So you want to be friend with her friends, well be her friend and just realize you consented to sex and nothing more.

Sometimes friendships grow into something more but she didn't do anything wrong and you need to deal with it.

By deal with it I mean grow up.
 
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