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Thinking you're gay?

E

Elinisti

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
104
It seems like starting to think you're gay isn't very uncommong theme with psychedelics. After the effect of the drug wears off, the "realization" goes away but the idea still buggers you. It can be very annoying. One of my friend almost killed himself because of starting to think he was gay. He imagined that somebody started to call him gay etc. and he got locked into the thought and things started to get worse.

Psychedelics generate a lot of delusions. Some people believe that psychedelics speak only the truth. But there's a lot of crap coming out also which seems ridiculous the next day. Can it be that the "tripping you" is gay (your shadow side, doppelganger etc.) and "waking self" is straight? Any hints about how to control the problem?
 
I have the sinking suspicion that when we are tripping we feel LOVE for all people and the boundaries between love and romantic love are sometimes blurry, especially while tripping. During my first 2c-b trip I wanted to reach out to my female roommate and "make out" or what have you, I felt love for her and wanted to reach out to her. Long story short, I did not but I can empathize with the thoughts of homosexuality or strange sexual or love emotions in general during trips.

I think it is important to realize that unless you have long harbored a closeted homosexual nature that psychedelics simply make it easier to see the loving qualities and lite within everyone, not just the opposite sex <3
 
yellowteeth said:
what happens during the trip that makes you suspect that you are gay?
Click to expand...

Well for me it was when I had 40mg of 4-aco-mipt which was suprisingly strong and one of the most visual trips in my life. The idea just popped into my head but I guess I didn't process it properly so it got stuck into my mind.

My friend hallucinated that he was strongly verbally abused by somebody to be a gay junkie with aids (even though nobody actually said anything). He didn't realize it was a hallucination and his trip went downhill. He even went to get a blood test because he was convinced he had aids.
 
I think the "problem" is your conception of homosexuality as a problem to be controlled, or a manifestation of your "shadow side".

It's well known that a fear response to same-sex intimacy generally indicates a certain degree of personal repression.

If you keep having these thoughts, maybe it's because the psychedelic is trying to give you an opportunity to learn from them. When you try to control it or push it away, it just gets condensed into a little time bomb that will detonate later on.

Sexuality and gender identity is a wide spectrum, not a black & white duality.
The idea that someone might want to kill themselves because they are gay is sad and ridiculous.

Love Yourself <3
 
Propyl Power said:
I think the "problem" is your conception of homosexuality as a problem to be controlled, or a manifestation of your "shadow side".

It's well known that a fear response to same-sex intimacy generally indicates a certain degree of personal repression.

If you keep having these thoughts, maybe it's because the psychedelic is trying to give you an opportunity to learn from them. When you try to control it or push it away, it just gets condensed into a little time bomb that will detonate later on.
Click to expand...

The trip made my homophobia much milder. I understand that it isn't such a big deal but I'm still attracted to females. Still, I've got some wierd fears against girls (or strangers in general) and I haven't got a sex life.

The thing about the "shadow side" is that I believe theres an opposite me ("shadow person") living behind me. Repressed stuff etc. The things I'm not. So logically the shadow should be more female if I'm male. Thus gay in a way. So what if my both sides get mixed up because of psychedelics?

Sexuality and gender identity is a wide spectrum, not a black & white duality.
The idea that someone might want to kill themselves because they are gay is sad and ridiculous.
Click to expand...

It's not the first time he acted suicidal. Problems piling up etc.
 
^ Ah ok then. I misinterpreted your posts to be more homophobic than you intended.

So what if my both sides get mixed up because of psychedelics?
Click to expand...

They're supposed to, that's the fun part ;)
 
It's well known that a fear response to same-sex intimacy generally indicates a certain degree of personal repression.
Click to expand...

Really? I've always thought that that claim was just a clever playground comeback against the douche who calls people fags.

And I would have to agree with Propyl:
I think the "problem" is your conception of homosexuality as a problem to be controlled, or a manifestation of your "shadow side".
Click to expand...
This thread seriously reeks of desperation for validation/reassurance about whatever homosexual "idea popped into your head". The strong homophobia was what initially made me click reply.

Regarding sexual identity, only you can really know for sure. In my humble and straight male opinion, you are either:
  1. Gay and trying to hide it.
  2. or just a major homophobic straight dude.

Either way, you are trippin .

And here's what you're looking for:
I haven't had any gay feelings related to psychedelics. I have had dreams (nightmares, really) about being violated by a guy, and I was weirded out at first, but it wasn't an enjoyable fantasy, and its not like I busted a nut or something. I'm still secure about my sexuality.

I don't know what put you onto the idea of the shadow side vs walking self, but that kind of stuff is about as far as you can get from a science. Don't doubt your own knowledge of self because of some paradigm that you read online (and possibly misunderstood and/or misapplied to your own life). When I am not tripping, I'm a nice guy who would never kill/rape/etc. Does that mean that when I take some psychedelic that my shadow side murder rapist is going to come out? 8)
 
yellowteeth said:
Really? I've always thought that that claim was just a clever playground comeback against the douche who calls people fags.
Click to expand...

Yeah, some researchers at Harvard (I think) did a study a while back demonstrating that homophobic 'straight' males became more aroused by gay porn than non-homophobic straight males... I'm having trouble finding a link however...
 
I don't know if that happend to me but something similar however I find it amuzing when that happens, though I can see how some other people could take it to other lengths.
 
I don't know what put you onto the idea of the shadow side vs walking self, but that kind of stuff is about as far as you can get from a science. Don't doubt your own knowledge of self because of some paradigm that you read online (and possibly misunderstood and/or misapplied to your own life). When I am not tripping, I'm a nice guy who would never kill/rape/etc. Does that mean that when I take some psychedelic that my shadow side murder rapist is going to come out? 8)
Click to expand...

In theory, when you are tripping you could feel like murdering and raping people if it is something you've repressed. But probably you wouldn't actually become a murdering rapist. Just part of you will want to rape and murder. Normally that part would be hidden.

Science and brains aren't a good combination IMO.
This is the shadow I was talking about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)
"In Jungian psychology, the shadow or "shadow aspect" is a part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts."
 
Kiss a guy, if you don't like it you're not gay! Either way you won't be annoyed by this recurring theme every time you trip.
 
I definitely get an urge to be a lot closer to my same-sex friends when I'm tripping. Physical contact can be very reassuring and doesn't have to be sexual. Also it's not like you have to move to San Francisco and buy a feather boa if you ever consider the possibility of being with another guy or don't adhere to strict gender roles. I think when tripping you realize how ridiculous the rigid constraints on sexuality and gender in society are, and it can be a little confusing.

Just don't let it bother you.
 
first of all, im gay
second of all, i think that these feelings you have, as others have said, are just feelings of love for everybody around you.
I personally think the 'shadow' person behind the trip is kind of true, but I dont think your shadow person is gay. If you think you might be gay, then you might be gay. aThe shadow person can be helpful to look into your self and see who you really are, but you also need to take it with a grain of salt, just remember these are some pretty mind altering drugs..
 
what if, like omg, I'm gay, and then like, I start tripping, and think I'm straight?


haha, jk, I don't really identity as gay (I'm more queer;)) although I do feel more explicitly bisexual when I'm on mushrooms. It's more about feeling comfortable with my sexuality to the point where I can explore new/different things. For some str8 peoples psychedelics might make them feel more comfortable and conceptually open to the idea of exploring with the same gender maybe.
 
*Love*Lite* said:
During my first 2c-b trip I wanted to reach out to my female roommate and "make out" or what have you, I felt love for her and wanted to reach out to her
Click to expand...

That sounds so hot karma =D

Your a gorgeous lady and Delsyd is a very lucky man :D
 
acid pretty much forced me out of the closet,
i didn't really see the point in sustaining a lie that would envelop my life. my mindset about it changed rapidly as i forced my self to think about it properly and to hide from it...acid can be magical stuff sometimes
 
^^MDMA didn't force me out of the closet, but it helped me get over a bunch of the residual guilt i felt about my sexuality from growing up in in a evangelical Xian environment
 
Elinisti said:
It seems like starting to think you're gay isn't very uncommong theme with psychedelics. After the effect of the drug wears off, the "realization" goes away but the idea still buggers you. It can be very annoying. One of my friend almost killed himself because of starting to think he was gay. He imagined that somebody started to call him gay etc. and he got locked into the thought and things started to get worse.

Psychedelics generate a lot of delusions. Some people believe that psychedelics speak only the truth. But there's a lot of crap coming out also which seems ridiculous the next day. Can it be that the "tripping you" is gay (your shadow side, doppelganger etc.) and "waking self" is straight? Any hints about how to control the problem?
Click to expand...

I never really saw the psychedelic experience as having any gender specific "feeling" to them. It's unfortunately always too easy on psychedelics to get caught in a negative free fall of existential despair. Psychedelics are extremely powerful introspective tools, you have to keep in the moment at all times to keep you're mind in line. The amount of control you have with psychedelics however is amazing!

I never really have gotten a full on psychedelic induced delusion. I have had substantial panic about grades, or about life, or about my heart rate however. I have never had a break down, or come close, all though the fright is intense sometimes. But so is the awe. Psychedelics definately have a clear pain to them, as my "raw" mind is so open in how I feel. I don't have any split tripping/sober personalities. Sorry for my rambling response, I'm exhausted and haven't slept for some time.
 
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