Yep... ENT 2nd opinion found nothing wrong, even said tinnitus can't be caused by sinus issues, which is bullshit. He was one of the rudest doctors I've ever met. I didn't think one could be worse than my surgeon who I see tomorrow, but wow, was he rude and dismissive and clearly uneducated. My tinnitus would never have gone away after surgery if it wasn't for the connection. There's so much documentation of sinus induced tinnitus all over the internet and medical literature it's not even funny. I follow-up with my surgeon tomorrow and expect no different result.
He suggests it's stress related. No. I'm not stressed at all when I'm high and it becomes worse. Last night I had such a bad depressive episode that I figured the benefit would outweigh the risk. It did, my depression literally immediately melted off my body. Completely. NOTHING works that well. So I've already set out a plan for suicide if stopping THC for a while does not improve this, or if I can never use it again without getting tinnitus. First I would do a massive dose of DMT, and if that doesn't change my mind, then yeah... I know how it's going to go. I wouldn't encourage anyone try to intervene or send those useless hotline numbers.
So now I'm forced to not use any THC for awhile and hope this goes away, but I'm going to be a depressive nervous wreck without it unless I go back on benzos... and those don't work anywhere near as well. They calm down anxiety, they don't affect depression. I do think it's likely I overconsumed and that's what got me here. I can't see why else my left ear become so fucked after I overdid it the night before my hearing exam, purposely trying to have them ringing badly to get accurate results. Since the universe hates me even more, the ringing stopped ONLY during the hearing test and immediately came back afterward.
My right ear has generally improved and sometimes gets a lot quieter, but the left is always bad. Maybe after a shower it's better for a brief period, otherwise before that night of the hearing test, I only would get some static, not actual ringing. Sometimes there would be a faint high pitch whine that was very subtle, but this came and went.
I suppose maybe I did take for granted finally being able to get high again without it worsening tinnitus or causing sinus headaches after I'd largely recovered. I don't deny that I was overconsuming it, but I love it, so much. Especially the dab pens which are so tasty and give me some of the best, full body orgasmic level of highs I've ever had. Flower and edibles could never do that for me this much, and I get burnt out from flower very bad. I was often rotating 3-4 carts a night and hitting them until they blinked.
I didn't want to accept it but I do think overuse of THC has caused this. Do I think it initially caused it last year, no, I know it didn't, because even when I stopped for 5 months earlier this year, I still would get tinnitus even if it was less, and that was over my sinus issues. And I'd been smoking daily for years by that point without ever getting ringing in my ears.
I will try and cut back when I visit relatives in Nebraska, but it won't be easy. My father is coming along and he abused the living shit out of me growing up, and being on the spectrum, it was a lot more hurtful to me than say my older brother who isn't, but he was terrible to me too. Often suffocating me with pillows and sitting on them, me waking up to him slamming his entire body on me, throwing me in the dryer and blocking it off so I couldn't get out. I think the abuse from my father just lead to him abusing me even more. He needed someone to take it out on and why not his little brother.
So it will be difficult not getting a little bit high sometimes just due to the very fact that my father will be there. I've hoped he would die since I was 7 years old, and despite taking shit care of his body and having all sorts of medical conditions, he hasn't yet. He's got a problem with the aorta, the same thing that killed a 35 year old cousin of mine last year which still devastates me to this day.
They don't even check for that until you're in your 50s, and we were so close. He was more of a big brother to me than both of my big brothers. But I'm just gonna end the sob story... it isn't going to get me anywhere. I'm in a horrible situation and there's really nothing I can do other than cut back on THC or stop it completely even though it's the only thing that stops my suicidal tendencies and genuinely improves my quality of life astronomically. The 5 months without THC were some of the most difficult I'd had up to that point. Well, now it's even more difficult.
Apparently a few acupunctures can reduce or cure tinnitus but it's not backed by science and my insurance doesn't cover it. I have one booked tomorrow at 11:30am, but I might skip it, because I wouldn't be around for more in the coming weeks, and there probably is at least on that takes my insurance. I just chose this one because it had 47 five star reviews.
