Hey so I think physiotherapy is the answer for me. I found (well my mom did) a physiotherapist, and she is really good. My back is going to be killing me later though I can tell. She loosened my back right up though, moving me through all these strange motions and asking questions. Gave me some home exercises to do until next week. She is also VERY hot. This is just great. Like, a sexy and chill version of a doctor who moves me around and loosens up my back while just chatting about stuff. (we went to the same school, same hometown etc).
She was saying my back is just rigid as hell and I've learned to protect one part of my spine which probably isn't all that injured anymore, and I need to train myself to get that part of my body moving again. She says the yoga I do and meditation will help for sure because it involves activating weird muscles I didn't know I had. She is really good at it, and I really don't mind the touchy/feely part ahahaha. Not at all... I've tried physio with an asshole before. I said I was on morphine when they asked and he had a hysteric reaction: "What, you're on morphine? Silly. You can't be on that stuff, what are you even doing here?" He actually called me silly in a condescending tone of voice. He is lucky he still has a set of real teeth, and a nose that isn't permanently bashed in. That was 5 years ago and I'll never forget it. I told the fuckface off and stormed out of there, swearing off physio forever. Then, for months afterwards I received letters in the mail asking for like a 40 dollar payment from them, probably because they are too stupid to treat anyone and get business.
So I never wanted to do physio after that, but I tried it once more. It was with a guy, and he was a dumbass about it. He was telling me to activate these muscles kind of like this sexy chick was, but I had no idea if I was doing it right. He was so vague about it. She was pressing on the parts of my body that I was supposed to be flexing and it made things really easy. If a guy did that close to my crotch I'd be like WTF get away from me. She also didn't bitch me out for being on oxy's and explaining that I might have trouble feeling the pain (I didn't, I could feel all the discomfort). She was just like, well it's good that you took them today so you could make them to the appointment here. So chill. I think I found someone who I am comfortable working with.
I was just furious at my "doctor" yesterday and something needed to be done, as I was enraged at such pitiful, useless treatment. It's like he is treating me like an end-of-life cancer patient, that's honestly what it feels like, but giving me pussy doses of oxy that I can't even feel anymore. That asshole never even recommended this to me. He wouldn't even let me read the 4 page note I prepared about how the pain was impacting my life. He quickly diverted the conversation, and turned it into a brief one minute chat. He also completely fucked up the medication adjustment I was asking for, and when I asked why the living fuck was he taking away one of my percocets to make up for his stupid mistake, he said "nice try" - like I drove 4 fucking hours total to try and hustle an extra percocet out of him. 45mg instead of 40. Yeah, like that's gonna save me from this. That was honestly this scumbags thought process, that everything I was trying to tell him was a joke to try and get an extra percocet. This is NO laughing matter, and that asshole has fucked me over in so many ways. The first appoint I was smoking opium all morning, on heroin, probably on oxy's as I had 1000 of them stocked up at the time, and on klonopin and xanax. I always wondered if they didn't check the sample, or they just didn't care. They said I tested clean in the documentation, for morphine, oxycodone, and benzos. I told this asshole I was using street drugs and he prescribed me what I said I was taking. And you wonder why I am such a hardcore addict now, that obviously did not help my cause. Especially the way that he kills my self confidence, like he gives me no hope at all that there is any way of getting better. It's fucking garbage, I'll never go back. Heroin is available, I don't need him for that and that's literally all he does.
I won't be going back, until my back gets better I will be using street drugs and supporting heroin dealers as honestly, they deserve the money more than those pieces of shit in the white coats. I curse my doctor to burn in hell. He has not done a thing for me except encourage my drug habits and make it seem like my condition is hopeless. I don't think I could go back without the occurrence of an assault. Eventually, I hope to be left with very limited or no pain from physio and a massive drug habit to deal with, which would be fine. I'd just kick cold turkey and get on with life. I think I'm through with doctors though. The ones I have known are honestly pieces of shit. I'd rather work with a hot physio chick than that know-it-all prick, and just buy small amounts of heroin which is way the fuck better for pain than jumping through hoops to get a handful of percocets that I blow through in a week. Doctors are absolute morons... this girl went to my university, which is the best in my country, so I know she's smart as hell.
It will be interesting to see how it impacts my pain levels. I will def be doing my homework. I'd like to move her around in some different positions aahahha. Sorry just had to crack a joke about it cause I could feel her tits pressing against me and stuff and I def wasn't complaining being a lonely basement dweller and all. She is still just my physio of course (professional, professional) but it sure beats the doctors office fucking bullshit that leaves me feeling so angry that I can't think straight every time.
