Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[ShroomySatori]

Sorry, I have to ignore your first point. I am not a danger to myself.

Thanks for checking in. I no longer take any etizolam or illicit benzos at all and only take prescribed meds while I am waiting for several resources for specialists including benzodiazepine tapering experts who I actually know are qualified for that.

Now I have all the help that I need and not like the hospital but psych ward shit for a taper once I feel ready for it. It is practically the best situation I could be in but my anxiety is extreme. I am a skeleton, haven't done shit since boxing day been a real struggle to cut down on my own. I was expecting to be harshly judged and was not. In fact, the opposite. I was called smart by a smart doctor.

I don't know what I want anymore but I definitely do not want to be dependent on a very high dose of benzodiazepines as it got way too risky. That changed my life. Tortured me. I don't think I want to be a pothead anymore either but that's more long term. I regret it all every drug I ever took.

 

[mtop2036]

Sorry, I have to ignore your first point. I am not a danger to myself.

Thanks for checking in. I no longer take any etizolam or illicit benzos at all and only take prescribed meds while I am waiting for several resources for specialists including benzodiazepine tapering experts who I actually know are qualified for that.

Now I have all the help that I need and not like the hospital but psych ward shit for a taper once I feel ready for it. It is practically the best situation I could be in but my anxiety is extreme. I am a skeleton, haven't done shit since boxing day been a real struggle to cut down on my own. I was expecting to be harshly judged and was not. In fact, the opposite. I was called smart by a smart doctor.

I don't know what I want anymore but I definitely do not want to be dependent on a very high dose of benzodiazepines as it got way too risky. That changed my life. Tortured me. I don't think I want to be a pothead anymore either but that's more long term. I regret it all every drug I ever took.

No offensive, but I never said or implied you were danger to yourself. Was just commenting on what you stated. Sorry if it came off otherwise.

Good to hear your off etizolam, hope your taper works out for you.


I'm on day 5 of being on .5mg and am feeling better than I was. Honestly part of me enjoyed being in withdrawls, it was like experiencing life as a normal person does except the sickness. Usually I'm sitting at home most days due to my stomach issues, also being opiated makes it easier to sit at home all day. Well when I was in wd everything was boring inside, it made me want to go outside and do things which I did. While it was hard with being sick it, it also reminding me how much enjoyable life can be. About 6 months ago even the thought of doing something that would cause wd would make me run far away from it. I think what's changed is my mindset. I truly want to be off, and I can feel myself mentally healing.

Even though I'm only 5 days in .5 and not 100% I will be going down tomorrow or Sunday to .37Mg in the hope that I will go back in wd. Each day I am sick and am able to get through the day feels like a major victory for myself.

I'm very excited for my future!

 

[ShroomySatori]

Nono I think there was a misunderstanding there, didn't come off as anything but reading your thoughts. Sorta just don't want to talk about that you know? I suffer from perpetual stoner paranoia even in that appointment haha I was like I'm just paranoid stoned lol. It is good to have a chill doctor if you have any kinda health problem you gotta find the best of them. Needle in a haystack I found went through so many doctors.

If the taper doesn't work, it can be adjusted. I have the right help now and everything I take is legal and also prescribed. That is wonderful, it is great not to deal with sketch bags in fancy cars. I'd rather talk to a cute pharmacist for a min or two. I essentially told all those people to fuck off in order to protect myself. They are scared of me now. Yes. I frighten dealers. They will not be fucking with me ever again. I remember trading a sheet of acid for a fentanyl patch worth a pack of cigarettes. I will never use psychedelics again, either. I am no longer involved in that type of drug use, and plan on quitting everything eventually.

Is that suboxone? Yo be weary of post acute withdrawals. You will feel great for a while. But then you might get hit by them. Hard. I was and it has been on par with cold turkey H sickness. Psychological torture for months on end, that came on when I was a couple months clean. However if you are tapering this drastically reduces the chances of this happening. My buddy on subs told me that he felt okay after 9 months, would sometimes wake up feeling mild withdrawals but generally recovered apart from post-acute withdrawals. Insomnia I hear is the last to go and I have it bad. Heightened anxiety as well. General instability. Feel like I'm dying a lot.

Why I decided to do a slow taper from here on out... well, it wasn't up to me. A lot of people get screwed by the medical system but I've been in touch with my health for over a year on a regular basis. I was taken seriously, and am grateful for it. I don't deserve the treatment I am getting seriously it's way too good of them.

I am uncertain of my future.

Ah yo editing this - may as well say today makes 13 months.

 

[mtop2036]

Nono I think there was a misunderstanding there, didn't come off as anything but reading your thoughts. Sorta just don't want to talk about that you know? I suffer from perpetual stoner paranoia even in that appointment haha I was like I'm just paranoid stoned lol. It is good to have a chill doctor if you have any kinda health problem you gotta find the best of them. Needle in a haystack I found went through so many doctors.

If the taper doesn't work, it can be adjusted. I have the right help now and everything I take is legal and also prescribed. That is wonderful, it is great not to deal with sketch bags in fancy cars. I'd rather talk to a cute pharmacist for a min or two. I essentially told all those people to fuck off in order to protect myself. They are scared of me now. Yes. I frighten dealers. They will not be fucking with me ever again. I remember trading a sheet of acid for a fentanyl patch worth a pack of cigarettes. I will never use psychedelics again, either. I am no longer involved in that type of drug use, and plan on quitting everything eventually.

Is that suboxone? Yo be weary of post acute withdrawals. You will feel great for a while. But then you might get hit by them. Hard. I was and it has been on par with cold turkey H sickness. Psychological torture for months on end, that came on when I was a couple months clean. However if you are tapering this drastically reduces the chances of this happening. My buddy on subs told me that he felt okay after 9 months, would sometimes wake up feeling mild withdrawals but generally recovered apart from post-acute withdrawals. Insomnia I hear is the last to go and I have it bad. Heightened anxiety as well. General instability. Feel like I'm dying a lot.

Why I decided to do a slow taper from here on out... well, it wasn't up to me. A lot of people get screwed by the medical system but I've been in touch with my health for over a year on a regular basis. I was taken seriously, and am grateful for it. I don't deserve the treatment I am getting seriously it's way too good of them.

I am uncertain of my future.

Ah yo editing this - may as well say today makes 13 months.

Yup it's subutex. How much were you on when you quit? And did you taper to that amount of just cold turkey?

Yeah I'm tapering, I've only been on it for 6 to 7 months at was at 18mg at my highest. Before that was in methadone for about 7 years, was at 130mg at my highest for it. I'm trying to get off as soon as possible before I'm on it for years like I was with methadone.

I'm hoping that the less I'm on when I fully jump off the better the acute withdrawal and paws will be, like you said. My goal is to be at least at .25mg when I quit but I think I'll taper past that until I can't get past the withdrawls.

And there's nothing wrong with you doing a slow taper! Any taper is better than none! A large group of addicts never even attempt a taper and the fact that you have the mindset and willingness to taper is a massive feat. I think you are definitely going in the right direction!

 

[ShroomySatori]

If you mean opiates I resent them so much I can barely type the word. I fucking despise them and they do not work long term for chronic pain it is scientifically proven. Sorry, I refuse to speak of them anymore and can't offer advice. If it's opiates and you want to quit, then I would cold turkey. That is what worked for me. I was never able to taper. The suffering was so extreme CT I never looked back that's why I think it is working long term. Can't talk about it though I have like ptsd from that shit or something getting diagnosed pretty soon.

The problem I see here is that you have been on them for so long, that it doesn't matter what the dose is. You will have a more intense withdrawal because of that. For myself, the duration of use was the strongest factor in the withdrawal - not whatever my current tolerance was so much. It was when it was literally every day for years all day, if that is what is going on it doesn't matter the dose. Don't psych yourself out just taper as slow as humanly possible since you are on a tapering med and take it easy. I would definitely not expect this to be easy, and for a long time.

 

[Squeaky]

PainfulOne- Your post about alcohol and using an opioid agonist: I did it on Baclofen
It did take about 3 months. After a while I just didnt look forward to the relief that alcohol used to bring me. Then it became boring. Then one day I realized I hadnt drank in a week or two and I just didnt care about alcohol any more. I actually missed getting drunk, but I didnt really remember any more what it felt like to enjoy it..... so I stopped.
I have noticed that my biggest problem with the pills now is that I crave the relief they bring. After two weeks of Loperamide -because I run out of pills ...... I start to get used to by aches and pains and I start to stop craving the relief of the pills.

 

[Squeaky]

To anybody who says a taper must be kept at a perfect schedule or pace- Screw you.
If it takes two weeks or two years to quit. When its over you get your life back and you are sober. It doesnt matter how you get there as long as you get there. My body, my family, my bank account?? none will care how I stopped. I quit booze with Baclofen, not one single AA meeting. No interventions. No admission of my mistakes. And nobody cares how I did it. They only care that I did.

 

[mtop2036]

To anybody who says a taper must be kept at a perfect schedule or pace- Screw you.
If it takes two weeks or two years to quit. When its over you get your life back and you are sober. It doesnt matter how you get there as long as you get there. My body, my family, my bank account?? none will care how I stopped. I quit booze with Baclofen, not one single AA meeting. No interventions. No admission of my mistakes. And nobody cares how I did it. They only care that I did.

Exactly! Couldnt agree more. Noone knows your boy better than you. What works for you do it.

So I did what I said and only took .37mg today. Even though it takes about 2 hours for subs to kick, within 1 hour my withdrawals are worse than yesterday which is to be expected. Lol. I know it's going to get worse but that's ok. If I did have to take more id take 1 day at .43 which would be half the distance from .5 to .37. I will never go back to my previous dose after I make a jump. But I have no intentions of taking extra, just gonna stick it out at .37.

Hope everyone is doing good

 

[ShroomySatori]

While going through any of this, I highly recommend essential oil aromatherapy.

Many are natural anti-inflammatories, antidepressants, stimulants, anxiolytics, sleep aids...

Patchouli oil puts me right to sleep, bergamot and grapefruit are really cheerful together, and I have geranium going right now. The floral ones are so chill and relaxing. Felt pretty rough before too, the power of the olfactory nerve and sense of smell shouldn't be underestimated and how efficient the absorption of these medicinal compounds like terpenes are through inhalation, which can then affect the body and mind.

Sage oil is a stimulant, also use it for my feet I find it helps them as a foot soak. And, as a conditioner in my hair so I find different uses for each one. The aromas can be amazing.

This is definitely worth looking into, it has helped me a lot and isn't drugs. I will be taking years to get off kpins I couldn't handle anything like even one year and they will see that. Stuff simply doesn't work long term. Benzos to anxiety are what opiates are to pain.

I have been doing this all year. It is remarkable how medicinal the stuff is. I have anti-inflammatory ointments I make and apply to my spine as well that are gently heating and like topical anti-inflammatories.

 

[Squeaky]

Exactly! Couldnt agree more. Noone knows your boy better than you. What works for you do it.

So I did what I said and only took .37mg today. Even though it takes about 2 hours for subs to kick, within 1 hour my withdrawals are worse than yesterday which is to be expected. Lol. I know it's going to get worse but that's ok. If I did have to take more id take 1 day at .43 which would be half the distance from .5 to .37. I will never go back to my previous dose after I make a jump. But I have no intentions of taking extra, just gonna stick it out at .37.

Hope everyone is doing good

I was doing the same on Loperamide(got my oxy filled so the roller coaster is riding once more!!)
Every drop hurt for a day or two. I was dosing every 6 hours. I would drop about 25%, then hurt and go back to my previous dose 6 hours later, then go back to 25% less, then back to my previous dose, then go back to 25% less and stay there. Basically one day of alternating current/new dose and then stay there for about 5 days. Once I got into that routine life was pretty good. I was hating the pain of everyday life, but my wds were almost nothing. My guess is I was in for a few months of that so I stocked up on Loperamide(before the FDA makes it prescription only).
The drop from 15 pills to 10pills seemed like a big success. Much greater than the drop from 6 pills to 4. But they hurt the same because its really about percentage. 15 to 10 is 30%. 6 to 4 is also 30%. If I ever get to 1, then cutting down to 1/2 is REALLY gonna hurt and Ill feel like a sissy, but it would be a 50% drop and that will be HUGE.
My new plan for the day I finally quit is to do the ?-method someone posted(I cant remember what its called but it was designed for subs). Im going to measure out a cup or two of water and put a few pills in the blender. That way I can dose from a liquid solution and continue to drop by 20-30% without shaving pills. - Shake the bottle, serve myself in milliliters instead of pills, and land this plane really really softly.
That crap they do some places where they make you jump off subs when youre down to what they say is a low dose is complete bullshit. I would be buying subs on the street after that!

 

[Squeaky]

Ahh I don't feel like a failure squeak, even tho I may be. Whose gonna keep me up besides me? I always drink neat liquor. Been through the gauntlet of pills and I don't want it anymore. Drinking keeps me sane believe it or not.

It relieves stress, anxiety, depression, pain. And I love waking up still drunk in the morning with no hangover. Drinking straight has helped stave that off. I drink as healthy as I can now. Lots of water and vitamins in between. The whiskey and gin gets me through life and if it sees me to the grave I honestly don't care. I love it.

I'm not taking pills to dissolve my kidneys. I'm not seeing councillors who ultimately don't care. I'm gonna do me and if anyone don't like it then too bad.

I just read this again and I saw the part about waking up still drunk. I drove to work still drunk every day for years. I figured I might get a DUI one morning at 6 am. It wasnt smart, but you are right- waking up still drunk is AWESOME. No hangover and sleeping like youre dead is the best fing sleep when youre stressed!

 

[mtop2036]

I was doing the same on Loperamide(got my oxy filled so the roller coaster is riding once more!!)
Every drop hurt for a day or two. I was dosing every 6 hours. I would drop about 25%, then hurt and go back to my previous dose 6 hours later, then go back to 25% less, then back to my previous dose, then go back to 25% less and stay there. Basically one day of alternating current/new dose and then stay there for about 5 days. Once I got into that routine life was pretty good. I was hating the pain of everyday life, but my wds were almost nothing. My guess is I was in for a few months of that so I stocked up on Loperamide(before the FDA makes it prescription only).
The drop from 15 pills to 10pills seemed like a big success. Much greater than the drop from 6 pills to 4. But they hurt the same because its really about percentage. 15 to 10 is 30%. 6 to 4 is also 30%. If I ever get to 1, then cutting down to 1/2 is REALLY gonna hurt and Ill feel like a sissy, but it would be a 50% drop and that will be HUGE.
My new plan for the day I finally quit is to do the ?-method someone posted(I cant remember what its called but it was designed for subs). Im going to measure out a cup or two of water and put a few pills in the blender. That way I can dose from a liquid solution and continue to drop by 20-30% without shaving pills. - Shake the bottle, serve myself in milliliters instead of pills, and land this plane really really softly.
That crap they do some places where they make you jump off subs when youre down to what they say is a low dose is complete bullshit. I would be buying subs on the street after that!

That's a good idea with rotating. The extra will help fill in those receptors for the next day as well.

I literally just made my a thread about a week ago with the water method. The only thing you gotta worry about is the liquid solution evaporating, which happened after about 60 hours for me. My 2 shows ideas are to keep a written log of the original amount of liquid and each time you take any out. Any before you take any measure it all out to check for evap, if there is any just add more water to make it up.

2nd idea which is what I'll be doing is make a batch up and keep each individual dose in its own container, then evap wouldn't even be an issue.

Yeah my clinic dosnt allow you to break up the pills so they expect t you to jump off at 2mg.

I only go in twice a week and when I do I am forced to get outside as quickly as possible and spit out the pills before they dissolve and then toss em out and rely on what I have for take homes. Pretty ridiculous.

On top of that I've only be 1 drug test that's been positive for subs since October so I'm most likely gonna be kicked out or forced to let the pills dissolve in front of the nurses which I won't do. really pisses me off when I'm 5.5 times lower than anyone else in subs and not that far from being in the e equivalent of 1mg methadone(it's a suboxone/methadone clinic 95%+ are on methadone) and I'm the one who's gonna be kicked out! And for doing the right thing!

 

[Squeaky]

How often do they test you? What kind of test (urine/saliva/etc)?

 

[dopiejay]

Hello stranger,

But seriously dj, stop being such a stranger. ; )

I think that's awesome, it's always a good idea, if medical professionals aren't meeting your needs, to have someone go with you, or vouch for you, whether that's a supportive family member or another professional. I'm so happy you're doing that.

I wish you the best and I want an update asap.

Much love my friend,
Ash.

Hey ash. Sorry for being a stranger. Haven't been feeling good about a lot of shit lately. I'm too good at shutting myself off. Appointment is Friday hope to fuck I can get my head straight.

 

[dopiejay]

I just read this again and I saw the part about waking up still drunk. I drove to work still drunk every day for years. I figured I might get a DUI one morning at 6 am. It wasnt smart, but you are right- waking up still drunk is AWESOME. No hangover and sleeping like youre dead is the best fing sleep when youre stressed!

Problem for me now is I wake up through it. Only getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a night don't matter if I'm damn near in a coma. Weed helps but it's easy to push myself over the limit and cause undue anxiety.

 

[dopiejay]

How ya doing shroomi. Haven't seen much from you in a while. Hope everything is ok.

 

[mtop2036]

How often do they test you? What kind of test (urine/saliva/etc)?

Urine. Supposed to be about 2 a month due to my take home level. But for others with no take homes it's 1 a week. Since they've noticed my negative tests it's been 2 to 4 s month. I've had about 15 tests with no subs now.

 

[Painful One]

Hey guys,

Still alive. Been having some serious health issues. I have had a sleep study done, yes and I have something called "REM sleep behavior disorder". It sucks. It has been really flared up. It has just barely calmed down and I'm so tired.
I finally have gotten some sleep. I have been sleeping for days now. I'm still tired.

I'm going back to sleep. I just wanted to check in and let you know I am okay.

I hope everyone else is doing alright.

Love you guys!

 

[mtop2036]

Hey guys,

Still alive. Been having some serious health issues. I have had a sleep study done, yes and I have something called "REM sleep behavior disorder". It sucks. It has been really flared up. It has just barely calmed down and I'm so tired.
I finally have gotten some sleep. I have been sleeping for days now. I'm still tired.

I'm going back to sleep. I just wanted to check in and let you know I am okay.

I hope everyone else is doing alright.

Love you guys!

Good to hear your able to sleep. But sleeping for days sounds extremely annoying. Is that from your sleep disorder?

I woke up feeling horrible today. I only stayed at .5 for 5 days before I went to .37 which was a mistake lol. But today is 4 days in and I'm just gonna try and stick it out. If I can't I'll do .43 for 1 day then go back to .37. Once I go down I've always told myself that I'll never go back to my previous dose. Gonna smoke some weed hopefully it'll help.

 

[Xorkoth]

Once I go down I've always told myself that I'll never go back to my previous dose.

That's a great rule to have. The nice thing about opiate withdrawal is that it's never going to be life-threatening, only unpleasant, so if you find yourself in discomfort, at least it's something you can the ability to tough out and you don't have to worry about seizures or anything.