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The Suicide Support Thread

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I've got a knife to my throat today. Not literally. Not necessarily. But if I don't entirely change my situation, yes, I will mostly certainly kill myself. That isn't a threat, nor a "promise." Just an expectation.

I am the "village idiot" wherever I go. I suspect that after all the brain cells I've killed, I've become slow. I don't get it when others put me down. I just have a come back arranged for it.

You can see the weirdness in my words. I am full of weirdness. I am what's left of what they've so easily stepped on. I am filth. But writing this helped me. So take care.
 
Blahman, i feel your pain..
I lost my best friend tonight. I got enough heroin to put me out. Im taking my friend dextersmeth/tims death serously, we faught, we cried together. Add to my list of list RIP TALLY,melangle,lonewolf,nchz,ekatime.

Fuck i dont know what to feel.

Just had a kid, i pray he grows up to be a smart boy,learns from his dads mistakes.

I dont want to wake up.
 
D's .. not the thing you want to do.. only way your kido learns is by you sharing what you have learned.. got a kido myself. Whenever is see a trait i gently explore it with him.. they don't learn unless we are around to teach them.

So very sorry you ar going through this once again<3 But to flip it all around we have to figure out the puzzle and share the solution.
 
D's, I'm sorry for your loss. Please hang in there.

Personally I flipped out today. I made it worse as time progressed, and as the alcohol sank in. And as I sank in the alcohol. I am looking for a place to go. I have to leave where I currently live or else I think I will probably just do it. Suicide has never felt like such a real possibility as it has lately. The odd thing is, I know it's real because suddenly, death seems like bliss. Before it seemed like something I had to go through, a way out, etc. Now, with my life, with my current circumstances, with the brain that I was given, it seems right. I am a person who deserves to die. The worst part is that suicide would just be one more gesture of selfishness. At least according to others. I imagine my eulogy. "What a fucking idiot, and an asshole as well. What a waste of life and a waste of death."
 
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Also D's, your child deserves you. We all see that you're smart and have clarity. You're having strong emotions and that's not a flaw. It's a gift. Your child deserves to continue to know you. Please don't give up, man.
 
I have just started getting friends who don't know anything about me so they are actually willing to hang out with me. But out Of habit I keep on lying instead of telling the truh to get friends who know what I'm really like, so I guess whatever I Said was very fascinating so other people started to ask to and I'm becoming kind of a liner because I am trying to stop lying. Out of habit I also flinch at loud sounds anj jump when people touch me. On the first day of school I had a panic attack because people were surrounding me and I felt unsafe. Times are also getting harder because this morning I opened my locker at school and it was vandalized, all of my books were covered in goo and the word fag was spray painted all over my locker and there was a note that said " faggots like you don't deserve to live, you all ruin the world by being born, why don't you make us all happy and just die." and my dad is still abusing me I have no control so I cut almost hourly now and it's getting harder because my mom will not acknowledge my presence. Someone tried to push me in the road as I was walking home. I'm seriously teetering on the edge, it hurts so much.
Choose one
Hanging self
Jumping off balcony
Slit wrist
Overdose
Poison
 
sadkid said:
Choose one
Hanging self
Jumping off balcony
Slit wrist
Overdose
Poison
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None of the above. You've already demonstrated that you're too insightful to discard your life. There's too much you're capable of doing with your life, so that you can enjoy it. There is help for you, I promise. Please seek it. If your parents don't approve of you for some ridiculous reason, and choose to abuse you, then speak up. Tell someone who can help. Talk to a counselor. You don't deserve this, and you don't have to live this way. Please don't harm yourself. Anyone who speaks with such homophobia and ignorance clearly have no idea what they're talking about, and it's only a silly way for them to deal with their own issues.

Hang in there, okay? It's tough, but you're still here. So please stay.
 
Is it really dumb to think like that? Isn't suicide a way to escape all o the shit in life, like if you were to die what would you do? Would you say I'm so sorry foe dying its my fault I wish I could come back? Wouldn't everything be off your mind if you died? Wouldn't everything be done? And easier? The main question in my life is when am I going to die, I mean I'm already dead inside so why can't I just finish it by dying? I would be doing people a favor, I'm just to weak to kill myself.
 
sadkid said:
Is it really dumb to think like that? Isn't suicide a way to escape all o the shit in life, like if you were to die what would you do? Would you say I'm so sorry foe dying its my fault I wish I could come back? Wouldn't everything be off your mind if you died? Wouldn't everything be done? And easier? The main question in my life is when am I going to die, I mean I'm already dead inside so why can't I just finish it by dying? I would be doing people a favor, I'm just to weak to kill myself.
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It's not dumb. It's no matter of intelligence. You're clearly intelligent. It's simply where your life has brought you, and we both know you're strong enough to bring yourself back. Don't do it. Please don't hurt yourself. I personally wouldn't describe suicide as an escape, it's just the wrong ending for people who perhaps deserve better for themselves. It's an imbalance between the pain we feel, and what we're given to deal with it. My suggestion is to live your life. There's so much more for you. So much out there that you deserve. Nobody can tell you it's easy. It's not easy at all. In the meantime, be yourself and be proud of it. Disregard anyone who tries to tell you who you are or put you down. Keep going.

I promise you, you deserve better. You will find better. PM me if you'd like, or respond here letting us know you're okay. Take care.
 
SadKid none of those methods of suicide are effective besides maybe hanging. I slit my wrists and just ended up in the loony bin for a week and a bunch of scars that everyone can see forever. Youd be shocked at the amount of people who live after jumping off several story buildings, survive ODs or are found in time, take huge amounts of pills and get nothing but permanent organ damage. Many people who attempt suicide are just maimed for life and have to live even worse off because of it. And you think your depression is bad now.

The success rate for suicide is shockingly low. Unless you have a gun youre probably going to just fuck yourself up horribly and be that much worse off in life. Sad thing i suicidal idealation is usually just temporary, so youll want to live again youll just be fucked up from the attempt for life.
 
Your right, I tried before, jumped off fourth floor of a building. I only broke some bones, a person saw me and ran up to break my fall. I managed to get away with saying that I fell but damn that kind of stuff stays with you for a long time. I talked with a friend the other day. He said he didn't really understand my situation but he told me to find a reason. I don't know what he meant.
 
Dont you hesitate to send me a private message and Ill even give you my cell if its an emergency just shoot a PM. A lot of times were just in a rut, sadly a rut strong enough to cause suicide thoughts but, still just a rut that we get out of. I guarantee once you get out of this you are going to cherish the decision not to kill yourself, I guarantee you bud. I thought I was the worst of the worst and was so intent on killing myself I texted both of my brothers and my sister a goodbye note. I still cant look my sister in the face without shame its never been the same since & its kind of hurtful because I was so close to her before the incident. But its never been the same and not only shame but hurt to lose not only a trusted sister you can talk about anything with to a distant woman who looks at you sideways whenever you get buzzed together. Its hurting me a shit ton right now even typing this. Please PM if you start thinking seriously about the possibility, Im here to talk at anytime and Ive been through your despair completely and thoroughly. Im surprised Im even still alive to be honest, and Ive saved 2 of my childhood friends lives from suicide, I know a little bit about your situation and Id be more than glad (Id be greatful) to help you from your situation. Much love my friend. As cliche as it sounds, theres not only light at the end of the tunnel, theres a wonderful life (I know right? First time Ive ever typed that but it felt good) waiting for you once youre ready. Hit me up bro Im down to talk anytime.
 
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sadkid said:
Your right, I tried before, jumped off fourth floor of a building. I only broke some bones, a person saw me and ran up to break my fall. I managed to get away with saying that I fell but damn that kind of stuff stays with you for a long time. I talked with a friend the other day. He said he didn't really understand my situation but he told me to find a reason. I don't know what he meant.
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its hard to find a reason to live, most days I think suicide would be the smart answer. one day I hope to find a reason to live, or find the will to finaly end it.
 
glitter_kiss said:
its hard to find a reason to live, most days I think suicide would be the smart answer. one day I hope to find a reason to live, or find the will to finaly end it.
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Suicide is never and kind of answer any more than death is a cure ..... the daily grind of just being can feel over whelming, for me at times. I don't have any simple answers, no silver bullet. Keep looking for ways to make things better, focus on those things and leave those thoughts on the side lines, the final journey will come to us all in the end, that is one of the only certainties we have .....no need to go looking for it <3
 
Back to feeling this way again, severely suicidal really want to self harm don't want to be conscious and I have the means to knock myself out for days. Sick of this hole I always fall down
 
Doomed2pain said:
Back to feeling this way again, severely suicidal really want to self harm don't want to be conscious and I have the means to knock myself out for days. Sick of this hole I always fall down
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I'm always here to talk <3

I am really sending out a lot of peace and love vibes your way hun <3
 
Hang in there D2P, feel welcome to PM me.
I hope you're not in too much pain.
 
Thanks ch and abject. I'd been a lot better over the summer but now winter is approaching in going to be stuck in bed for months again and it just messes with my mental health so bad
 
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