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ShroomySatori said:
Congrats on the two month break from Oxy. I'm having a really tough time trying to quit, I've perhaps made 10 attempts at quitting opiates in the past couple years. I made it a few months and I found the post-acute withdrawal symptoms to be horrific. Worst panic attacks of my life, and benzos wouldn't touch them. Not even like 20mg alprazolam it was insane! I normally take 2mg clonazepam daily and that's when I threw in the towel so to speak. As I felt the benzos were frying me at that level and not helping at all, but I couldn't stop, I needed to somehow escape. This was months past acute wd so I'm definitely concerned that my mental health has significantly worsened from all this abuse.

It's really discouraging because it's tough enough to get through the first 2 weeks. I know that opiate withdrawal is a rollercoaster ride where some symptoms come and go and it can go on for a long time depending on your use. For myself one day I felt recovered, the next I'd be sick, but the symptoms would vary. It was totally nonlinear. I have crying spells all the time when I'm tapering opiates let alone going without. Over practically nothing, it's just my brain doing its thing.

I haven't used Gabapentin before so this is good to know. I have used baclofen as a comfort med for around a month and it resulted in strange gastrointestinal symptoms and discomfort in a certain spot of my gastrointenstinal tract, as well as a marked feeling of well, feeling slightly psychotic or dissociated. Just mild withdrawal, really, but again I would use it up to 100mg a day for the muscle aches. So I really wouldn't want to have kept that up as I had rebound spasticity in my neck / weird neck twitches after a while.

I think it's a drug related to the gaba system as well? I really try to watch it with the comfort meds these days if I'm really trying hard to quit, but of course that can be tough. Maybe I should check out gabapentin. I doubt you are as fond of gabapentin so much as oxycodone, so a slow taper should do you well! I think dabbing hash is best really. Lots and lots and lots of it, grams upon grams of oil, since there are little to no repercussions from that. I had success doing that for some time. Since I can dab a half ounce in a week and there's no withdrawal, nothing but the effects of the drug. Spending acute withdrawal dab after dab, lol. Gives you something to do too, just try not to burn myself lol when I'm tossing and turning flipping and flopping. And I had 99.9% pure THC-A at one point which helped so much and was wonderful to dab. I believe that started in cali but it's a thing in Vancouver now too. Lovely stuff. I see this is kind of turning into a rant as well. Sorry again, I just really need to vent tonight. I've put so much effort into quitting in the past and here I am with several grams of dope to sniff, hydromorphone I'm thinking of shooting, and other opiates to hold me over just in case god forbid I ever come close to running out.

Gotta get my shit together. Opiates give me energy and vitality, I am not one to nod even off high(ish) doses of heroin. In fact, drugs like heroin and oxy help me focus and concentrate, as well as socialize. The last thing I want to do is sit on the couch or sit around when I'm high. It's when I'm most active, I mean my use is my own and I often use alone but I hear a lot of people nod and that's a common effect but I'm a highly functional opiate addict. I've never slouched over or anything like that. Just not a highly functional sober person. Heroin or morphine can give me those waking dreams in the later stage of the high if I do enough, but again, I'm typically even functional then and able to hide it and have it not impact my performance. Weed on the other hand... I have people bitching me out for smoking a joint within a week of picking up the habit again. I find that ignorant, and it's why I'm not presently dabbing when it has really helped me cognitively with the desire to quit using in the past. Haven't dabbed since September and I'm craving some nice live resin! Expensive stuff though for a junkie especially if you like to dab all-out.

So I am going to jam some metalcore as that is therapy right there. Just ranting tonight but I'm not feeling so well and I need to take my mind off the pain.
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You should probably get & stay on ORT, if those are your feelings/experiences regarding opiates.
 
Jekyl Anhydride said:
SS your not alone on the opioid stimulation front. I could stay up for a couple days when binging on Oxy and MS. I was reading where it had something to do with the Mu Opioid receptors internalizing and affecting Adenyl Cyclase downstream. This of course takes time and high amounts to cause but neither of us are strangers to that.
Another thing that caught my eye was how Ultra Low Dose Naltrexone can potentiate Opioid Agonists to a surprising degree as well as slow or even prevent tolerance especially when combined with NMDA antagonists. I know this Oxy vacation will not last forever but if I could keep my tolerance real low that would be a big win. Of course a new Oil/ dab rig and some goodies to vape through it can be a big help also. I just need to remember not to treat w/d comfort meds like cannabis as that backfired on me with the Gabapentin. Lesson learned. I also don't have the severity of back problems that you have so sometimes I'm just a big baby. Hang in there Shroomy..
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The effects of opiates were so surprising to me at first. They are literally the perfect drug to me, treating my chronic pain and my mental illness (mainly borderline disorder) in its entirety apart from panic attacks. Nobody could ever tell I was high and still can't. Of course that is going to bring about a horrific withdrawal that is tough to handle, when I am treating so many problems. I thought you just nodded out on a bed and didn't do anything on opiates. I never tried them until two years after I had my injury. They are the most productive drugs ever for me, and they boost my creativity too. They don't just make me more efficient at general tasks but high functioning cognitive ones as well. Before taking everything away and leaving me a zombie in withdrawal, of course... but I'm rarely ever kicking these days. I'm generally stable, but my supply is presently low and it sucks. That is rare though.

Stimulants tend to make me extremely anxious, I am very sensitive and can only enjoy them at very low doses. Yet opiates are mentally stimulating and physically relaxing to me so I have no real need for classic stimulant drugs.

I should look into those things to lower my tolerance. That's the main issue I have with these meds. My tolerance is around 80mg oxy a day to feel happy and pain free right now. It's not killing me, and it has been much higher than that but if it was lower I mean few things could make me happier than being able to feel a percocet again. I find that with a lot of dabs, and even some stims here and there, I can get by with a less. I try to keep my intake of the gaba drugs stable regardless of what opiates I'm doing, as I find that in opiate withdrawal I become somewhat immune to benzos. I can take enormous amounts of them and not feel hardly anything, so I stopped doing that. I was recently kicking for around 2 months and during that time my life was hell. I was kicking mainly because I was broke and not by choice. Things are picking up again, and the future is looking bright since I started using higher doses and have a little money again. I was losing my mind, but I also drastically lowered my tolerance and managed to keep decent care of my health (it can become very hard to to basic things like shave and shower). On opiates, I always keep up with daily yoga, guitar practice, healthy eating, personal hygiene... I have a great life, and all of that falls apart when I stop using. So I just plan on never stopping but keeping my use in better check.

I'm also getting better at toughing out the sickness. I've been through it so many times, there comes a point when it's a little easier to accept and just tough out. I like your ideas on tolerance... tolerance really sucks especially when I need this shit to so much as walk and I mean before the withdrawal, addiction, whatever. I was in so much pain I couldn't get out of bed for 2 years and that's mainly why I use. Prior to this I was an athlete, and the whole experience of chronic pain really fucked my life up. I'll be doing my opiates that's for sure, they are practically my lifeline. Why would I go through the trouble of kicking when my pain is too extreme to handle an 8 hour office job, like WAY too extreme, without the stronger opiates? And when the pain has royally messed my head up with several mental health issues... it's important to keep my use in check, because I need them so much. I definitely can't be shooting up and shit like that... like absolutely no way. When I do H I carefully measure out 10 or 20mg lines and that is enough to treat my pain and give me that euphoric and relaxing energy. As bad as things can get now, they were worse when I didn't have these drugs and was in physical agony chronically. That was going to result in a straight up suicide. I really just need to toughen up a bit when I hit bumps in the road... rant concluded.

I've been sick as hell for several hours, so it's almost time to sniff a 4mg dilly : ) man, it's so bad but so good. I'm going to hold off as long as I can. May as well, but that hit is going to be a nice one. I'm glad I decided not to shoot them up, I mean, what's next after that? I don't want to find out and I'll never stick a needle in my arm, not that I judge those who do, but this is medicine to me and I'm not going to lose that privilege of using it.
 
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I've dabbed so much that my titanium skillet is about 40% gone. 8o

How's everyone else doing? %)
 
Just want to say thanks for letting me vent, and not anyone bitching me out being fairly new here. I just needed to let off some steam you know... I feel better now and it's not drugs. It is expressive writing and guitar playing. So now I have to start scheming how to get with that girl I met at the health store who I feel is really interesting and sweet.

Dude... lol. It starts oxidizing eh. I've seen some messed up pics of ones with impurities in them. I got a beauty of a recycler rig, a loaded torch, various dabbers, a nice lil HE nail and carb cap but no oil dammit! I am so going back to oil, like asap, emergency, dabs needed here. So yeah just wanted to say thanks for not bitching me out for that. Had a rough day.
 
What I would give for some concentrates.... I guess it's my own fault for not living in weed legal state. High purity shatter would put me out like a light
 
I have to admit I'm spoiled when it comes to cannabis, living in southern California. I will usually pick out 3-4 nice strains of flower, find my favorite then go back and get that strain in a budder, wax or shatter. Things are a little dicey with Trump and Sessions at the helm but many places don't require doctor's recommendations anymore, just a couple pages of generic questions. They do prefer you put down a medical condition but it can be as trivial as eyelash pain. Now if they could just sell some Kratom under the same roof.. Wishful thinking I suppose.
 
What are some of your fave strains? Mine would include UK Cheese, AK 47, Strawberry Haze (awkward grow though), Shiskaberry, Chemo Kush, Girl Scout Cookies, Kali Mist (best grow ever... so proud), Moby Dick, Super Lemon Haze, Sour D. So I'm kinda spoiled up here in Canada too and we are legalizing soon. Not that anyone ever hassled us, but of course there are a lot of prisoners and that is abuse. Jailed for gardening? I can't get medical weed for my chronic pain, at least I don't think I could, but nobody really cares and it's easy to find great flower and shatter, mostly originating from BC. I like my weed potent... even well grown outdoor kinda gives me a headache and makes me all sleepy. I don't like my weed to make me tired, most of the time I'd like it to help me concentrate, and at the end of a long stoned day I typically have a lovely sleep. So naturally, I migrated from 30 or so bong tokes a day to dabs and my health and highs improved a lot. Just had to drop the money on a good rig and nail. I use it for DMT as well, which is just awesome. Man, I miss my shatter. My rig hasn't been used since September : (

But it's always nice to have a break you know? I took a 3 year break and I was getting stoned like the high school days. I started off with dabbing too, lol, and I was having laugh attacks literally for hours on end non-stop. Oh man. Even in opiate withdrawal I'd be having those good old healthy laugh attacks I know and love so much. I quit because people were giving me shit for it, but shatter is so easy to conceal. I once took 10 dabs to my face, got into an apartment elevator, and a cop stepped in. I just had a nice lil chat... if it had been bong tokes, I'd probably have had my place ransacked. Love my dabs, I don't like people knowing that I'm on any sort of drug, especially people I don't know (or perhaps, especially people I know).
 
trying to push kratom back to once a week.

i'm going from 4x per week to 2x per week to 1x per week as of next week if all goes to plan
 
We were inundated with OG Kush strains for a long time but it's becoming more eclectic again. I enjoyed growing the strain Kosher Kush and and a couple other SFV OG F1's but HPS lamps seem to be falling behind a little with the new LED setups. Being able to customize the spectrum's looks very promising. I still like my deep water culture setups as well as some organic, worm casting tea and GH soil blends. Advanced Nutrients has a couple great supplements but they are very pricey. I found some knockoff brands of Fulvic / Humic acids and Ascopyllum Nodosum that seem to still work well.

My most recent favorite strains are probably Gorrilla Glue, LokTite, Russian Asassin Squad Hardcore OG and some XJ hybrids. I'm always up for some older Sativas like Space Queen, Green Crack, GSC's and uppity Blue Dream too.
 
I don't know how to join in with ye guys, ye have loads of conversation going on & I don't understand what ye are on about. I also feel quite rude :(
 
Just stick around Rachella. Post your advice and experiences. In no time you will be at the adult table. :)
 
Does etizolam have no taste?

I just licked roughly 5mg off my tray and it didn't taste like anything whatsoever. Every single drug I've ever tried has a mildly bitter to gut-wrenchingly bitter taste... why not so for etizolam?

:?
 
It def has no taste.

I dose my etiz and alpraz powders on healthy crackers after dissolving in isopropanol and using a dropper, fan evaporating.

The xanax taste like... well, shit, that awful xanax taste. The etiz ones I make strong as fuck (like 5mg sometimes) and there is no taste at all to them. So I have to be careful where I store them.

I experienced an odd synchronicity. My favourite band ever right now - a metalcore band that I just love to death - happens to be playing nearby in the near future. I got what was probably the last of the tickets from the few sold out shows they are playing. This is unbelievable to me I'm so fucking psyched!!!! I was just googling interviews about them and realized that they are on tour and saw the nearby city and was like WTF. Blew my mind. I'm all booked and set to rock out : ) : ) : ) I'm pleasantly surprised and really happy about this. They've been a huge influence on my guitar playing lately. I can't even believe this. I've been listening to them for hours and hours and now I get to see them screaming and rocking out. Really nice surprise and so random.
 
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Looking forward to nodding hard soon and resting before working after having 3 days off. ?
 
Kittycat5 said:
Never change ODers. I love y'all.
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lol. If I fry my brain with that shit I may as well dose it on healthy food first y'know? I use 100% pressed buckwheat crackers that are chock full of magnesium : ) ... plus the brain fryage of course. They taste completely bland, so I would definitely notice a subtle etiz taste. I often have them with some nice cranberry laced goat cheese on top. This is also an extremely stealthy method for carrying around etiz doses. Just gotta be really careful in case somebody munched down on them not knowing and they would not notice a strange dope taste at all. Alpraz, somebody would spit right out after the first nibble thinking that the cracker company was trying to kill them. Etiz really is tasteless which is so odd to me. Figured it would taste like a poison as well.

I was just so damn sick of sugar cubes, I have a very healthy diet for a doper, and I needed to find a solution.

If I have to go forced cold turkey for three days from an 80mg oxy habit, will kratom help at all? I've tried it before with mixed results.

I'm freaking out about it... I just weighed out 30mg etizolam and 18mg alprazolam and capped it up. I feel like that is kind of dangerous. I can't handle the idea of running out completely and I am always good with my supply, and when I want to quit I taper. This happened because I left the country for a while, used all my opiates, and came back with nothing. That fucking vacation. I'm in danger of running out completely, and tempted to shoot the last of my dillies to hold me over, but I don't really know what I'm doing with shooting up I never have. I'm very nervous. Just had to vent again... I really need my fix, a good supply where I don't have to worry and can get on with life. Like, a nice half ounce of good raw. This is nerve-wracking and I hope I can score soon as in ASAP. At least I have the money to hold me for a good month or two.

I cannot even feel all those benzos I took. I am still panicking hardcore. I am running away from so many things in my life and my past and only opiates can keep me cool headed and chill. I'm in tears. I can't live without them, I just can't. I've tried so many times and I am nothing without them but pain and suffering. Normally, like 2mg xanax would numb me out and sedate me. In opiate withdrawal, I take doses like this and can't even feel them. It is not often that I take benzo doses this high, because it is not often that I am low enough on opiates to become desperate enough to do so without hesitation. When I get my supply and I won't have to worry about opiate withdrawal for at least a couple months, I will be relieved beyond any sort of description. Opiates rule my life. Benzos are a background physical dependency taking a klonopin a day at least but using a dose of short-acting benzos like that is very, very rare for me.

Thing is, only tapering works for me. I need a good supply in order to taper. Last year, I taper from a massive dope habit to 40mg oxy, actually a little less than that using percs. I do not find oxycodone as mentally hooking as other opiates, which is how this was possible. I was really doing well and I plan on using the same techniques this year and not giving up. Sticking to what I know, and tapering with my oxy's. But, when my supply runs low or dry I cannot handle it. I freak. So just needed to vent. I should be well again soon, and slowly tapering with the opiates I know and love best.

Well, I have to correct that. I am trashed from the benzos. Stumbling around, dazed and confused. I kind of want to take more of them too. My back hurts like hell and I want percocet but I know that would be a very bad idea. I sure hope I get my supply soon so I can get on with life normally.
 
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Yeah, I just wiped my etiz bag with my finger and licked it clean. A tasteless drug. Just like LSD. You could so easily dose someone and they wouldn't have a clue.... not that I'm into that, just the weird shit that I think of. My friends and I used to joke while we were frying about how funny it would be to trick people into eating acid. One of my friends used to dose altoids with acid, we all thought it would be crazy if he dosed a whole box of them and offered them like normal mints.

Not that I would ever condone such activities, just the weird shit one thinks of while I'm on drugs. Hey, if the CIA can do it, why can't I at least think of it :p
 
I thought of that too. Just didn't want to mention it, because somebody could fuck with a woman without her consent or something awful doing that. It wouldn't be as much fun to dose a person with etiz compared to lsd, unless you wanted to get them wasted and possibly take advantage of them. It has probably happened someplace, sometime, somewhere. Keep the etiz comin' though us benzo freaks need that shit and those shitheads have other shit... alcohol is the daterape drug. One of my friends actually told me when he was knew I was getting into acid, that never to dose him randomly with that shit. haha. Most paranoid guy I know.

Then there are those who feel the water supply should be spiked with acid... hahaha. But, I think that the chlorine would destroy it before it could enlighten a municipality.
 
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Yeah, the chlorine makes acid 'terrorism' mute hahahahah...

I just had a crazy thought that perhaps the government introduced chlorine into the water supply in order to make that impossible in the first place, maybe the Soviets thought of dosing America? Lol, I'm sure there's a valid reason for chlorine in our water, but it's fun to wonder.

And yeah, alcohol is the date rape drug. And no one is trying to address the rampant alcoholism America is facing. Poor rohypnol and GHB suffered unfair fates :p
 
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