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Esoteric The most meaningful experiences of your life

Foreigner said:
I'm a non-dualist so there is no real distinction between them, at the level of the essence of reality.
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But you never get the feeling that a few hours away from the workaday world is good for your mental health? Euphoria is good for you.
 
Ismene2 said:
But you never get the feeling that a few hours away from the workaday world is good for your mental health? Euphoria is good for you.
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Drugs always have a come down. I might feel euphoric for a time but I feel like shit later. The two effects cancel each other out, such that there's no point. It's not worth it to me.

I am still interested in drug use and do them from time to time, but it's rare now.
 
LargeAppetite said:
The most important part of this you and many others refuse to come back too is the very basic and very human need for food. The profound and revealing nature of most psychedelics is to strip away and show us our core, outside of our ego. Why in the face of this generous and revealing chemical do you have such high expectations of what it will do for you when you give it such a poor environment to operate in?
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I find it deeply funny and on brand that your name is Large Appetite, and that you are reccomending eating more.
 
Ismene2 said:
That a bad trip pup? Something I've never experienced - the only horror I've ever felt is in the everyday world.
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well facing the inescapable is not exactly a bad trip, but it is a bit confining until the everyday world loosens up a bit. (I would repeat it in a flash - i.e. like visiting a seaquarium show without lineups or admission)
 
Ismene2 said:
Out of the top 10 most meaningful/life-affirming experiences of your life how many would you say were psychedelic trips? I'd say about ten myself but I've led a sheltered life - maybe you think having kids or meeting the girlfriend was more important.

Write your opinion on a Beatle wig and send it to someone who gives a damn. Thank you.
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Probably the most ground breaking drug use was my first ever double drop liquid acid and also the first time i took ketamine. The whole room turned into a powerful and colourful tornado.
 
It's hard to rank things obviously, but I'd put at least one LSD trip on there, and definitely one or two 5-MeO-DMT trips. The birth of both of my kids for sure, meeting, connecting and hooking up with my wife. Standing in the snow as a 4yo kid and realizing I'm going to die some day (and being very curious about what that would be like). A specific performance that represented the culmination of my trajectory as an artist. An event where my wife and I survived a bit of a foolish expedition in the mountains at altitude. A few other wilderness expeditions as well. Can we count long periods? Sometimes a thing that took 10 years to finish could be very meaningful.
 
sounds like the introductory comments to a book @perpetualdawn - or the dedications to the important life shapers relevant to this opus, and that 10 year repeated context of labor, was it a book?
 
TripSitterNZ said:
probably 8-10 aswell and i have lived a bit of life.

1. the first trip I ever had, 3 tabs of 110 ug acid from europe. Died was reborn went through a infinity fractal tunnel and went to the fifth dimesion were i met a blue bird that told me that time, space and the universe and life is just a game, that we are all one consciouness playing this game of life forever, we are infinite, i saw the light of the divine, I was not a believer in any god before this or extra dimesions. I saw the big bang happen, i experinced infinity, woke up with my room destoryed, Took me years to understand wtf had happened, took me a year to even try acid again lol, shit blew my mind wide open.

I was about to kill myself in college at 19, LSD had been on my bucket list since i was 12. Then it came into my hands after a long time of searching. I promptly took all the tabs, instead of 1. Because I was so over life, i did not give a fuck what happened, I wanted to find answers to life. It changed me forever, and destoryed all my beliefs. And lead to a long journey of unpacking 13 years of abuse, bullying and trauma. without LSD I would be dead. This molecule is fucking magic and holy.

2. 250 ug trip during covid lockdown, world froze and i left the simulation and this universe totally and saw infinity of love and peace, the ultimate realm. Never made it back to that realm ever again. That was most beatiful place I have ever been to, and it felt at the time every moment in my life lead to that moment to discover the truth and secerts of existence.

all others are on various trips on diff stuff, all saved my soul.

for sober living, would be finding true love, somebody that cares about me. finding a great friend group were we lived life to the max. i look back on those times fondly

as i learnt how to navigate and go deeper into the acid, I learnt many things about myself, and how i fit into the world.

one day i hope this molecule will be legalized.

as you get older the trips only get better.

300 ug of 99.9% LSD is the magic dose to transcend fully as nick sands stated. perfect dose for transcending your day to day life and experincing something magical.
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I'm so jealous of you. I'm not feeling like answering this thread right now, but I am very depressed and have been for a long time and yet, psychedelics only sometimes have a good effect on me, and I don't take them that often. I'm on prozac and have been most of my life and it won't be easy to get off of if I EVER can, so I know that blunts my trips and also makes it so I can't even take most psychs aside from LSD, shrooms, Salvia and maybe a couple others.

I have had some good and somewhat meaningful trips before, but my last one a couple months ago on shrooms was just the most depressing thing EVER. I got no visuals at all and the whole trip was nothing but depression and feeling bad about my life (because I do, in fact, feel that way, and was hoping for some relief from it, but no dice.)

I had never gotten a bad trip before ever. Now I won't be taking shrooms so lightly. I SO badly want one of these transformative trips. I could really really use it. But I don't know if it's possible to get one while on prozac. I may just have to try other ways to change my life, but I really do hope someday I get to experience something like what you did.
 
pupnik said:
sounds like the introductory comments to a book @perpetualdawn - or the dedications to the important life shapers relevant to this opus, and that 10 year repeated context of labor, was it a book?
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No I haven't written a book, but I *do* have this sci fi story that's been rolling around for almost a decade since a particular AL-LAD trip. In an alternate universe where I have more time I'd love to try to write out. Maybe I can keep it rolling around until I'm old and retired and the kids have grown up.

My 10 year "opus" wasn't a singular final product that I can share with the world like a book, but it was a big labour and a personally meaningful project - planting well over 1 million trees by hand in cutblocks all over western Canada. One at a time, spring and early summer over a decade in my young adulthood. This was never under any kind of delusion that I was "saving the world" or any such self-aggrandizing achievement, I've always been well aware of being a cog in the industrial forestry machine. But nonetheless I do take pride in having gone through the physical process of putting over a million little trees in the ground using nothing more than my hands, a small shovel, bags, and time. The work shaped who I am in a big way.
 
I used to think psychedelic experiences were meaningful but there in lies the deception of these drugs. The illusion that the experience is anything more meaningful than a heroin or cocaine high…when it isn’t, it just deludes the user into thinking so.

I never learned a damn thing about life that intelligent mature people that have never done drugs that I talk to don’t also know.

When I talk to someone very intelligent and wise….Ive got no extra wisdom from psychedelic drug that the wise person doesn’t.

And when I talk to an uneducated person or a young person that has done psychs they just seem delusional and misguided trying to express their grand knowledge they allegedly gained from psychs. Most of it is metaphysical psychobabble…they beleieve things as insane as religious ppl beleieve that have no basis in reality or science.

Psychedelics are fun rave drugs and that’s about it. Good socializing drugs too, better than alcohol or weed for that purpose.


As to the most "meaningful experience of my life?” That’s a tough one since I’m nihilist I don’t think anything has meaning and it’s all a pointless chemical reaction and consciousness and ego aren’t special and just a trick of chemisty….if I had to pick something though I’d say that suffering with physical pain for many year was probably the the thing that changed my outlook on life and who I am as a person the most.

Suffering is the most meaningful thing I’ve ever experienced. Probably love is second(loving another not being loved). 3rd I’d say is becoming scientifically educated; it really changes how you view the world and life.

I don’t know about meaningful but psychedelics land in the top ten of fun things I’ve done in life. Not #1 though. For something to be meaningful I’d have to learn from it or it involve move with a mother person or even pet; and if anything psychedelics just misguided me and I didn’t learn from them.
 
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I like what perpetualdawn wrote. Life can and does have the meaning we give it. Anything emotionally moving can feel meaningful.

As far as psychedelics and meaningful experiences I think the most touching thing I saw was a video, I think done by John Hopkins of people that only had short time to live and taking psilocybin their first times. You can see the peace in their face after the trip and they said before that they were terrified and would try anything. There has to meaning at that level, the notion of not noticing this place we have in the Universe. On one level we are specks of nothing in a very large universe, silly to think we are the center of it. That is humbling. But then on another level how can we not be the center of our Universe when we cloth ourselves, feed ourselves and any action we take is because we are sort of the center of that Universe and we live our life that way. Quite the contradiction but that is the part I like about psychedelics.

Anyway the people in the video were heart warming, not afraid to die after a psilocybin trip. That has to be some tangible meaning.
 
Skorpio said:
I find it deeply funny and on brand that your name is Large Appetite, and that you are reccomending eating more.
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Don't forget the stellar sense of humor as well. The LargeAppetite is across the board ;) Well, my board and maybe not so much this one.
 
First time breaking through on psilocybin mushrooms was incredibly traumatic, but also extremely meaningfull.
4th plateau DXM has also been very meaningful. I saw the gate of Heaven.
Once back in the MXE days I became the Light in an M-hole, very meaningful.
I've had a delirium once that was oddly enough crucially meaningful.
My stint with the Amanita Muscaria was very meaningful, tied a lot of disparate spaces together.
I once ended up in candy space somehow, that's still somewhat meaningful, although I don't know what to make of it.
I've had meaningful MDMA experiences, but I don't like empathogens.
Last year I've had a very meaningful trip on DMXE + LSD + weed.
Currently I'm living a meaningful trip.
Last but not least, physical and emotional trauma has been heartbreakingly meaningful.

Trauma takes the cake. If I were sane and unscathed to begin with, I wouldn't have slipped down the chemical rabbit hole to begin with.

Like Joseph Campbell once said: "Follow your bliss". After that quote led people awry, he updated it to "Follow your blisters".

Follow your blisters.
 
I took 2CB and I think a small dose of acid. Fell out with my friend (we always fell out. He got lost on the Tube - the London Underground). Anyway, my friend was looking after me and took my home to where my girlfriend at the time was living. We were chilling and she put on some awful Boileroom set. Some harsh techno. I was moaning and groaning and asking her to change it. She put on something off of 'Dark Side of the Moon'. It was magical. Then something by Bob Marley and I couldn't stop staring at his face superimposed over the colours of the African flag. I was talking about what an icon he was. After that, her lips started to radiate, this neon pink. I kissed her for hours, it felt like days. It was utterly beautiful. After a while, she got hungry and so we walked to the local McDonalds even though I was tripping hard in quite a dangerous area. On the way, we passed a fox - a scrawny, city fox that had seen better days. We caught each others' eyes and we looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. There was some kind of understanding (there was - I wrote about it later on). Anyway, we got to McDonalds. Naturally, I couldn't eat but I watched her eat and the only other guy in this restaurant and I was just watching him eat - I'd never seen someone eat with so much pleasure, so much pure and animalistic hunger. It was truly fascinating. You could see his whole body becoming nourished and he was grateful for every bite, like every piece of food was handed to him by the gods themselves. We walked home when she finished eating and at the flat, there was a sick pigeon on the steps to our flat. A beautiful white creature. I tried to nurture and care for it and called the people who looked after animals. They just said keep him/her there and looking back, probably laughed me off. I sat there for a long time stroking his cheek and telling him that it would be OK.

Next day, pigeon was gone and a lot of bird shit was there. But I'll never forget those neon lips and that fox who shared a moment with me. It truly was special. I wish I could relive that night again and again forever.
 
Tripping with animals is next level.

Made spider alliances on the Amanita Muscaria once.

Mosquito's are hard, probably won't ever work with an audio guy.


Edit: oh, the birds, the bird are the obvious ones. So obvious I didn't even mention them out front.
 
Becoming a father was by far, the most meaningful thing that ever happened to me because I take my role as father very seriously, and even with all its challenges, I became a better son, brother, friend, neighbor, etc., by virtue of becoming a father and working toward being the best version of myself that I could be in the name of helping prepare my children for their own lives.

But yeah...I used to be a real astronaut and a fan of taking very large doses of psychedelics because of the inner exploration/introspective nature of the experiences, and my understanding of this world and my place in it, I believe, was enhanced by quite a few of those experiences for sure.

I am a therapist as well and have been for many years, and working with people to help them reduce their perceived sense of suffering and helping them increase their perceived quality of life has taken on epic proportion over time as well.
 
In becoming a grandfather with involvement (babysitting) I rediscovered much of what I had learned earlier, but it makes more sense now, and is better connected.
I don't know a lot, but I feel it is significant, and the very young ones have a good rapport with me and ask about me as I am a close friend not just family.
I guess the psychedelics got me accustomed to being at the very beginning again.
 
This one with ketamine recently was quite crazy for me. Detailed report here:

Ketamine trip showed me the meaning of life and the realms that exist beyond what we currently are able to see.

I will try my best to keep this as relevant as possible. It should probably be a longer report, with time stamps. However I am writing this on reflection and edited from a PM conversation (you know who you are, thanks for all you've done for me). Now onto the story. Here is a picture of the...
bluelight.org bluelight.org
 
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