Misc The (LOPERAMIDE) diaries...

[fuck a.m.a. nazis]

Can someone explain what is tianeptine, where does one get it? And how does one order from bulgaria--what's on their menu? Thanks

 

[BigG]

I'm sorry youre having to go through that.

Something a little similar happened to me last year. (Although methadone and pain clinics operate differently here).

I was in pain management for 20 years and moved from morphine, oxy, hydromphone, fentanyl and finally methadone tablets for a joint problem. Anyway the pain clinic started me on the methadone pills after I couldnt get away with the fentanyl they prescribed and my GP kept up the methadone prescription. All went fine for a few years until my doctor retired and my new one said he didn't prescribe methadone (which was bullshit) and I would have to get it from a methadone clinic.

Since I'm a paramedic I didn't think having that on my medical records would be helpful so I stopped cold Turkey from 180mg Methadone a day which was absutely horrific. I've been off now for 10 months but do have a mscontinus prescription which luckily I havent needed to use as I've been looking into alternative treatments and am seeing the pain clinic again next Wednesday.

Hope you find a solution soon and I apologise if I was a bit sharp before. You seem a good person and I didnt mean to offend/upset you.

Take care mate

 

[BigG]

Can someone explain what is tianeptine, where does one get it? And how does one order from bulgaria--what's on their menu? Thanks

I was curious about that too but if you Google it there's a good wiki article on it.

I think the Bulgaria thing is just one of those grey area online pharmacies that are all over the net but ordering from them is a bit of a gamble.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

Can someone explain what is tianeptine, where does one get it? And how does one order from bulgaria--what's on their menu? Thanks

Tianeptine is an antidepressant (iirc a Serotonin reuptake enhancer, glutamate something and few other things) with affinity to the mu-opioid receptor.
I thinks it's sold as a nootropic in the US, but other than that I can't tell you more, because sourcing is against the rules.

 

[BigG]

There you go
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tianeptine

 

[skodeo]

Hey, friends....glad you two made up. All is well with the cosmos. Copasetic thread.
Dudes and dudettes,
Today was a crazy one. The minor, for me, 100mg of lope def aided me. I didn't have any WDs really. I didn't feel good though...grumpy all day, introverted, EXTREMELY cold...chilled straight to the bone, and ZERO energy. I had to FORCE myself to try and keep up. The entire two miles there in the dark and cold I kept telling myself I should just call in and turn around. However, the thought of my tia shipment after returning home kept me going and I'm now certainly glad I did persevere. One thing that put me in better spirits was that right after I clocked in the store director came up to me and said he had nominated me for team member of the month for the entire store...which is an honor since I just started there 2 months ago. I didn't get it though...simply a nomination. I assume, most likely, because I have already called in sick 2 times. Oh well, it still had me beaming even though I felt pretty low.
I, too, was feeling super anxious the entire day. I couldn't stroll fast enough home and was about to have a panic attack. It was prime luck that literally a MINUTE after I got home the UPS man pulled up with my shipment as I was in front of the house looking in the mailbox. I tore into it ASAP about 2.5 hours ago and downed my dose with the quickness. Much better, much better indeed. Tomorrow is my Friday too which is a plus. What a work week it has been thus far. I can't wait to actually get some decent sleep for once too. Those restless legs are a killer, man...coupled with max hot and cold flashes. Whew*

 

[Calpurrnia]

i get not wanting to say you did more here - since it'll be the 3rd time you've gone back to Loperamide i believe since the start of this thread. . . what worries me was when you said " at least it's only 1/4 of what i usually take - it's a small amount, " true - but never good to justify bad actions! even if they make sense. . .

Today is day 19 no Loperamide for me and I think it's the first day i haven't had any withdrawal symptoms, could not believe how long it lasted. . . felt like a benzo/meth withdrawal! I was more worried about the drinking AND the Loperamide, just feel bad for your heart. . . extremely worried for it - again if you have to rebound to lope, don't mix other stuff with it, at the very least if your will power breaks you can at least control not mixing it with other crap - very worried. . . one of these days we'll notice you don't give us an update and find out you had a heart attack from high dose loper+booze+tianeptine+Gaba drugs!

Stay STRONG!

A nomination is better than nothing - it's good to get some recognition. . . i'd say never call out of work, you've done good so far, the days i had little to no drugs left/waiting for more - when i'd not go in to work, the day was HARDER and the wait was more INTENSE, the work is a welcome distraction, even though you'll still be thinking about it. . . trust me! work is a good detour, plus it gets you money!

when your order arrives does it come to your half way house or your girlfriends house?

i wonder if they've caught on to the packages always showing up! hehe. . .

 

[BigG]

I was thinking that regarding the packages but I guess if Skodeo has his own private mailbox then they wouldn't see it.....

I was also gutted when I read that you had returned to the lope...I remember thinking "oh no not again!" but what's done is done.

My real concern is that you need a solid plan rather than bouncing around waiting for shippments and unfortunately caving in when one doesnt arrive and going back to the lope....if you had a solid plan to stick to and work towards it would give what you are doing a bit more structure and help prevent release a bit better. All the suffering and hard work you've put in just doesnt seem to lead you anywhere.....

We All feel we've got to know you over this thread and don't want anything had to happen to you.

Regarding callng in sick it's just as well you didnt as most places are very suspicious if you have three or more days off in such a short period of time since usually people arent ill that many times though normal illness and it raises a red flag..

Keep at it and maybe write out a solid plan for the next few weeks that won't have you running out...

Take care mate...

 

[fuck a.m.a. nazis]

Hi I am barely holding on now, but able to ward off a lot of the restless leg crap and shoulder/neck spasms that are usually killer in me. I have some head shop kratom, gonna order better RED kratom off the net this weekend. I also choke down a nasty tincture I made, steeped indian food store poppyseeds (australian-dutch, not great) mixed with a bit of kava and sage and lots of sugar, thank you starbucks. -tastes nasty, gotta have fruit juice chaser, but at least I don't feel like jumping out the window. I am awaiting my net order of afghani blue poppyseeds, supposed to be guaranteed to be unwashed, we will see.Someone called me back from a meth program very far from my "travel zone". He said they would take someone with my background,but no guarantees of course. I just have to figure out how to get 8 miles on crutches with , 07 cents to my name now.......and be there at 7..30 am.......We should run the world. If we can figure out how to deal with this shit we must be invinceable. I'm praying for all of us.

 

[skodeo]

Hey guys!
At work, weekend for me begins at 2:30 PM today. Whew* What a rough week, but at least it ends on a High note. Tianeptine, you are currently my savior.
I forgot to say that two nights ago, a couple hours before bed, I decided to take 400mg of phenibut to get some sleep since my body had become massively sleep deprived and I had enough of experiencing the RLS all night long and constantly rolled back and forth and alternated pillows to get the cool side for 10 seconds. After 2 hours I took another 200 mg dose and turned out the lights...
Once again, folks, BAD IDEA. I know I'll get reprimanded again for this, but I must share to perhaps help another struggling soul. I slept like a wee babe for exactly 2 hours.... Then I popped wide awake with a relaxed mindset, but that was the only upside. Instantly I regretted my decision.
At 600mg it was the smallest dose I have taken to date, I haven't touched the pheni in quite some time and never certain I ever felt Was after ceasing my use.... Just throwing all this out there.
The phenibut, to my dismay, had amplified the restlessness exponentially. I knew I was screwed. Until last night the stuff ran rampant for two evenings...anf also took a toll during the day. Trashing pheni for good.... It seems to have an opposite effect on me with only slight positive aspect.
Back to the grind... No time to spell check. Good day, y'all.

 

[skodeo]

Lyrica update.... Currently sitting in customs in NY. If it makes it way out today then I'll have it by Monday. If it remains stuck then your guess is as good as mine pertaining to when it comes to my place.

 

[skodeo]

ABOUT MY PACKAGES :

Forgot to answer that question here.

Nope, no private mailbox. It all comes straight to the house mailbox or doorstep. They think I have an online shopping addiction.... Which I do anyway. I have packages coming consistently for me of random stuff... Not just comfort meds. I was worried at first, but not so much now. They haven't asked questions and not like it is legal for them open my shit. They just had me open it in front of them a couple times in the past.... Asking, "What's in there??"

 

[Calpurrnia]

Hi I am barely holding on now, but able to ward off a lot of the restless leg crap and shoulder/neck spasms that are usually killer in me. I have some head shop kratom, gonna order better RED kratom off the net this weekend. I also choke down a nasty tincture I made, steeped indian food store poppyseeds (australian-dutch, not great) mixed with a bit of kava and sage and lots of sugar, thank you starbucks. -tastes nasty, gotta have fruit juice chaser, but at least I don't feel like jumping out the window. I am awaiting my net order of afghani blue poppyseeds, supposed to be guaranteed to be unwashed, we will see.Someone called me back from a meth program very far from my "travel zone". He said they would take someone with my background,but no guarantees of course. I just have to figure out how to get 8 miles on crutches with , 07 cents to my name now.......and be there at 7..30 am.......We should run the world. If we can figure out how to deal with this shit we must be invinceable. I'm praying for all of us.

why are you on crutches? i'm also on crutches for breaking my foot nearly a month ago due to a fainting spell i had with Loperamide.

 

[Calpurrnia]

ABOUT MY PACKAGES :

Forgot to answer that question here.

Nope, no private mailbox. It all comes straight to the house mailbox or doorstep. They think I have an online shopping addiction.... Which I do anyway. I have packages coming consistently for me of random stuff... Not just comfort meds. I was worried at first, but not so much now. They haven't asked questions and not like it is legal for them open my shit. They just had me open it in front of them a couple times in the past.... Asking, "What's in there??"

very worrisome, hopefully they won't ask you to open up any new packages, especially if they have powders/pills. . .

 

[Calpurrnia]

We never reprimand you. . . we just show concern/worry. . . If any of us came off that way we're sorry because i know for sure the other people who check in here are all united by shared experiences either past or present, So since the Lyrica is far away - how's your Tianpetine supply? what are your plans to avoid doing Loperamide again?

i used to wait as long as i could to leave work, walk slower/drive slower/do an errand after work - anything to prolong me getting home to redose. . . sounds pathetic i know but it worked, which is why i emphasize working a lot/getting involved in other stuff - i noticed it'd help stretch my doses longer. . . a lot of the times the intensity of the withdrawal are mental, especially when you dosed that day/within/under24 hours. . . and the early stages of withdrawal can be controlled much easier than the latter days. . .

keep us posted . . . gotta get off the Loperamide! also Phenibut has a stimulant effect often in people i'm sure you know, and many people have claimed that it made them more antsy - same with certain benzo's/chlorophenibut-baclofen/fluorophenibut/phenibut/anything that is GABA(A/B) during opiate withdrawals or whilst on opiates.

for me at least i noticed that it exacerbated my restless body syndrome

 

[BigG]

Exactly.....

We're all just concerned about you and dont want to see you come to harm .....

Its just a little frustrating reading your posts everyday to hear you've taken lope again and gone back to square one as there is a bit of a circular pattern emerging....

I agree with Calpurrina that what you need is some sort of proper plan in place (which you don't seem to have at present). It just seems very ad hoc.

No-one is trying to reprimand you though. People are only following your thread and posting because they are concerned about you and want to see you succeed.

I'd be a bit concerned about them making you open packages in front of them when you have so many pills and powders coming through the mail so often.

 

[skodeo]

I know, I know....like I said, I need some accountability!
Well, I don't quite see it as being a square one. A step back for sure, but I have been taking the lope as minimally as possible. Tomorrow, when I get paid, I'm ordering more tianeptine and choosing a shipping option that only takes a couple days to insure it comes in time. I have enough to last through Monday...and I don't think that the Lyrica will be here by then now...
Lyrica is tied up in customs since early this morning and still hasn't been released. In the past it literally takes just a few hours and then is processed through with all my international orders. I'm thinking that this time I may not be as fortunate...
Let my weekend begin!
I'll post more later, but my girl is nearly here and I need to get ready and bounce. Take care, friends!

 

[Calpurrnia]

I know, I know....like I said, I need some accountability!
Well, I don't quite see it as being a square one. A step back for sure, but I have been taking the lope as minimally as possible

Have you taken more Loperamide since the night you drank? If you can i'd force yourself to go through a few days of minor withdrawal, to extend the Tianeptine, meaning a whole day of taking nothing/feeling like shit - anything to avoid the Loperamide. You're ordering more now? is it due to money or you used more Tianpetine than you thought? when i was hooked on ordering stuff online i'd make sure i had back up coming before my supply ran out. . . which is why i ask. Maybe order it more in advance so you don't have to go back to the Loperamide. . . again, Loperamide is the devil!

As for customs, when i was on a Poppy Pod kick a few years ago i'd often get shipments through customs that'd sit there for days and i'd get so worried, i had a box of Afghani Pods that sat there for a week in 2012, i was so sure i had been caught/waited to be arrested - and then it showed up at my front door! ( some people let the order go though so they can go to your house and talk to you - usually with things like hardcore drugs - or they send a slip saying the item was confiscated, and you never hear from someone if you're lucky, i've heard this before many times! their item was an illegal item, they took it and they never heard from anyone beyond a slip saying they took it/don't order that again )

you mentioned you and your now girlfriend had done drugs - is she aware of the full scope of your problem? does she also struggle with addiction? is there a chance she can aid you in recovery, maybe for both of you - or to at least trade one addiction for another - to a safer drug ( as bad as that sounds it's a step )

 

[skodeo]

Have you taken more Loperamide since the night you drank? If you can i'd force yourself to go through a few days of minor withdrawal, to extend the Tianeptine, meaning a whole day of taking nothing/feeling like shit - anything to avoid the Loperamide. You're ordering more now? is it due to money or you used more Tianpetine than you thought? when i was hooked on ordering stuff online i'd make sure i had back up coming before my supply ran out. . . which is why i ask. Maybe order it more in advance so you don't have to go back to the Loperamide. . . again, Loperamide is the devil!

As for customs, when i was on a Poppy Pod kick a few years ago i'd often get shipments through customs that'd sit there for days and i'd get so worried, i had a box of Afghani Pods that sat there for a week in 2012, i was so sure i had been caught/waited to be arrested - and then it showed up at my front door! ( some people let the order go though so they can go to your house and talk to you - usually with things like hardcore drugs - or they send a slip saying the item was confiscated, and you never hear from someone if you're lucky, i've heard this before many times! their item was an illegal item, they took it and they never heard from anyone beyond a slip saying they took it/don't order that again )

you mentioned you and your now girlfriend had done drugs - is she aware of the full scope of your problem? does she also struggle with addiction? is there a chance she can aid you in recovery, maybe for both of you - or to at least trade one addiction for another - to a safer drug ( as bad as that sounds it's a step )

No, no more lope...received my Tianeptine a couple days ago again and placed a new shipment with 2 Day Air. I order smaller quantities when I really should just get a bunch at once and make it last.
I remember when you could order pods off eBay...I used to do that quite frequently Anyway, the Lyrica is still in customs....hopefully it is released within a week. I hear if it takes longer than 7 days then generally it isn't going to come through. We'll see.
My GF was a drinker. Never did drugs ever. But drinking landed her in treatment....even though she never got a DUI or did anything too crazy. It was just worrying her and made her extremely depressed...she saw her parents as alcoholics and worried that she would become one eventually. She has no idea the scope of my problems

 

[skodeo]

Home.
My two days off went entirely too quick...that tends to be a common and unwelcomed trend.
My normal order of tia is coming Tuesday, followed by a double order on Friday (the last and final ever...time to start weaning down and off).
The Lyrica cleared customs after 3 days. I was worried and figured that it was gone. I simply needed to excersize patience. Not sure when it will get here since it is on the opposite side of the country...probably around the same time as my second tianeptine order. I suppose I'll wait until I am getting somewhat low on the tia and then begin experimenting with doses. I was thinking 300 mg a day for 14 days and then, hopefully, being free and clear. It has worked in the past waaaay better than expected with methadone and always manages to completely obliterate ALL my anxiety coupled with WDs...I usually take it from anywhere from just a few days to about 2 weeks. Hence, two weeks will be efficent.
I can't wait, man.
I can't wait.
Never say never, but I never intend to pick up loperamide EVER AGAIN. I'm excited for the future. I'm not excited for another full time work week already. Sigh. If I manage to go to bed in the next 15 minutes then I can cram in just over 5 hours of rest. Took a few naps today since I knew I'd be home late from my GF's...glad I did.
Anyway, keep y'all posted....4 days off lope again.

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier...just throwing that out into the universe. Peacey weacy, brodi oats.