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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread-11th Dose-50 grams and a kidney later..

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That's not something I had considered actually. Honestly I don't think we know enough about either the MDMA comedown or MXE's serotonergic action to make a proper assessment. Is MXE's serotonergic action significant in this situation? Does SERT destruction by metabolites play a role in the comedown, and if so would MXE prevent this ala SSRIs?
 
Can anyone here link a study about potential brain damage from dissociatives, or what happens when you abuse the NMDA receptor/agonist too much?
I really would like to have more knowledge on this part but can't seem to find anything except mumbo jumbo with huge walls of text..
 
hatrix said:
I honestly don't think MXE has ever led to any real insight in my situation, and I don't feel it really has very much for anyone else. What it really leads to is delusions. You think you actually found insight to some problem in your life but your actual solution or whatever is pretty delusion and a bad idea. You are just to manic to realize this.

I recommend anyone who is taking this for psychedelic insight stop taking it for that purpose, you won't get anywhere. I took it purely to feel good and make things more interesting like games and music, and which it is wonderful for.
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If there is one thing that MXE helped "glue" to my brain in a way I never could (to date) sober, it was the attitude of "fuck the haters." I've always been very self-conscious and reserved, MXE helped me take some more appropriate risks in terms of social interaction.

I agree with your main point. Just saying... it can happen.
 
Yeah, it seemed to put a healthy ammount of "I don't care" in social interaction for me..
 
I'd like to say the main reason I started doing MXE so much was because I had a purpose every night I dosed. Music enhancement. Any drug that enhances music is something I'm usually interested in, and before MXE the best music enhancement I had ever experience was rolling on 4-MMC alone in my bedroom during the summer. I would stand in front of my tower speakers which are at full blast and get waves tingling through me from feeling so good. So the first time I experienced an m-hole it was almost scary seeing how messed up I was when I came to. Thought I was in some American Dad episode and my actions were making things happen in the episode... Anyways.

After experiencing a couple other m-holes I decided to try to go about it differently. Now I have to say before I even explain what I do, this is the best thing I can ever do on a drug. This is why MXE will still always be my number one DOC... I take a decent dose of MXE, somewhere around 70mg sublingual (this was way back when I could still hole and didn't have a crazy tolerance). I would lie down with headphones on and, having created a playlist before hand, would play music and just close my eyes and lye perfectly still. When the hole is combined with music it turns the music into some sort of mystical adventure where I get that super strong feeling of flying around even though I know I'm laying in my bed. I could literally see where I would be flying, always to odd places with weird highly shadowed geometry. Very spacey stuff, but it all went along to the music and made the music incredible. Somehow I felt connected to the artist of each song like they actually created their music for this exact purpose, to really FEEL the music.

The sensation of moving at such high speeds while actually being in your bed was crazy to me and combined with music is perfect in every way. I could hole for hours with a playlist then just to come and go "damn, that was fucking awesome, time to redose" then lay right back down and go again.
 
Oh I'm not on MXE. Like I said earlier in thread, I haven't taken it since last Saturday. So close to two weeks. Just wanted to throw in some more information about my usage.
 
So obviously there is cognitive impairment for ppl who abuse this class of drug. Does anyone know if it is permanent? Does the retardation cease when the use ceases(or shortly thereafter/i.e. back to normal in a couple weeks/months) or does abuse now going to cause impairment long after one stops using? Cause if the damage is permanent and the brain is "re-wired" so to speak that's some scary shit.
 
here's just a tidbit of info provided on one of the 1st links I clicked on. It deals w/ Ketamine but i'm sure most of the same holds true. Not that I fully understand all that science talk but it doesn't take a rocket science to understand it reads bad news. Sorry for being so lazy as to not go back and figure this out myself (maybe I will later I kind of don't want to even think about it right now)...and i'm obviously trying to justify by finding "holes" in the methods, but did their testing allow for recovery time or did they test after the last dose was no longer active, and the brain was in worse shape than at the beginning so the conclusion was it caused damage. I guess I want to know whether the damage is irreversible and whether this doc. accounted for & showed proof of that. I apologize, i'm a bit too busy, lazy, impaired, paranoid to dig to the bottom of this right now but I just thought i'd throw it out there. Right now i'm freaking out like that child in the youtube vid after going to the dentist and getting the gas: "is this real...is this forever." I feel kinda paranoid I fucked my brain from 1.5 years of dxm abuse 6-7 years ago and that was like once a week not nearly everyday like mxe, which I have been using for just over a year now. I mean if i'm willingly administering a permanent psychological disorder upon myself well fuck me I know I've said I need a break cause I can feel kinda schizo i'm counting on it not persisting and holy shit what are we doing fucking around with this poison. Does anybody personally know anyone who's done disso's long term and not in the looney-bin?? Sorry for the rant just reading the shit about Disso/Ket abuse really has me panicked and maybe that's what I need...here's the link and there's many more this was just the first I clicked on
http://www.nd.gov.hk/pdf/long_term_...nd_mice/final_report_with_all_attachments.pdf
 
fuckUwil$on said:
So obviously there is cognitive impairment for ppl who abuse this class of drug. Does anyone know if it is permanent? Does the retardation cease when the use ceases(or shortly thereafter/i.e. back to normal in a couple weeks/months) or does abuse now going to cause impairment long after one stops using? Cause if the damage is permanent and the brain is "re-wired" so to speak that's some scary shit.
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yes, the retardation does cease.
 
Calm down there fuckUwil$on, u won't stay retarded ;) See it as a temporary break from yourself, being dumb doesn't always mean life's worse! Just kiddin' but first thing is you realized that you've done wrong, the human body is very powerful in recovering and just look at the millions of people drinking their brain to mush without blinking an eye - cease taking that stuff, stay healthy and you'll surely be better soon.
 
Your brain does not get rewired. These dissociatives interact with NMDA receptors in the brain and block them. These receptors are involved with cognition and in certain ways attention and memory (I think short term).

Using dissociatives a lot does mess with this but after discontinations (stopping use of dissociatives) given some time your brain adapts again and a new balance sets in, on the long term the effects should be reversed although it does not necessarily restore you to your old self.
Instead your cognition has the ability to redefine itself, it does have this plasticity but it is unable to do this while you keep messing it up.

So you shouldn't freak out about not being able to heal, be relieved that you can heal if you stop using these drugs. Not stopping, that is something to worry about though. Learn your lesson from this, let getting freaked out motivate you to start healing and even if your learning and memory capabilities remain diminished for years - for the most part you can feel okay again. Being a little scatterbrained is nothing compared to how you feel the first while after quitting. It will get better.
 
I surprisingly didn't suffer many cognitive problems after stopping cold turkey.

I did however already have some significant impairment to my short term memory from using MXE so often. My short term memory is terrible. While it seems to be improving over time, it has a huge impact on short term recall and such. I've been at my place of work for over 8 months and still don't know everyones name even after hearing it many times over. It's rather embarrassing. The people I interact with the most, yea I remember their names, but the people who I don't work beside... There's a good 6 people or so that I just don't remember there names. Makes it difficult to ask them things !

Other than that though I don't feel MXE has impacted my overall mental ability. I've always been rather intelligent (even though I'm lazy when it comes to school), and after daily MXE use for almost a year, still feel as intelligent as ever. The short term problem though has caused me issues other than names. Learning something complicated in college takes a lot more focus than it used to. I remember last semester in my College Algebra class, I was there for a test one day. Before the test the teacher completely explained step by step how do to the last problem on the test. I made sure to follow so I didn't get it wrong. Right when I got to the problem and looked at it I had completely forgotten how to do any part of it. I sat there for a good fifteen minutes staring at my paper. Absolutely NOTHING came to mind, like it was just erased from my memory.

However something to note, there were days where I sometimes got so called MXE hangovers which left me with some weird sort of depersonalization, completely anxiety ridden all day with this hard to explain feeling in my chest that I just know is MXE hangover...... My mental ability on these days was noticeably diminished, spacing out like crazy and sometimes not being able to figure out school work that would be simple otherwise. I was also sometimes manically happy on these days, enough for my girlfriend to point it out. I didn't really act like myself. Almost like I was still slightly high or something, but not.

Fucking NMDA antagonists.
 
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Still have yet to test this. I have had foe 1g for over 1 and 1/2 years and traded for another gram which i havent used for over a year......Not sure why I continue to put it off. I am sure me being on methodone maintenance contributes to my wearyness, The last time I trade K was roughtly nine years ago and dxm 10 years. The K experince definitely was very itense though I did not reach the ka hole....i sufflated roughly 125mg.
 
^ So true. I can compare this at most to opioids, i love 'em even much as i hate 'em, they're hell to do often and not easy to do irregular, BUT it's damn worth it being deliberate and frugal.
 
pontifex01 said:
Cool post Transform, thanks for the educamation w.r.t. the SERT thing. Had been wondering for a while because my DOCs at the moment (well I'm clean now, but when I eventually do take the plunge again) are MXE and 4-FA, which, as we know, is rather MDMAesque, and I had my concerns about that.
Haven't had Suicide Tuesdays in 4 years (since I stopped using MDMA) and absolutely could not cope with it again. And btw, I was never in the "all-night gurner" variety. The most pills I've ever taken was 3 in one night, never taken more than 2 besides that. I do agree, MDMA should be used as a "soul-expanding" substance, not to get fucked (which seems to be an attitude far more prevalent in the UK/Netherlands than anywhere else, from my experience).

Even knowing what you just told me about MXE's therapeutic potential w.r.t. Suicide Tuesdays I still wouldn't touch it again. A week, potentially two, of emotional instability for the sake of four hours of pure bliss ain't worth it for me. And doing one drug to relieve the psychological strain of another one is just stupid (although in the case of MXE for opiate withdrawals, I wouldn't say the same, because MXE is acting as a pain reliever more than anything).
As you rightly recommended, I have turned to GHB and heroin instead.

But MDMA is MDMA. Irreplaceable. Sadly. Anyway, sorry about going OT.
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Is it possible for more oxymoronic irony to occur in a single post?
 
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