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☛ Official ☚ The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine / MXE Thread - Part 17 - South-Kansas is going bye-bye

Thanks Sean :)
The amount of work I have done just in the past 10 days or so has been nothing short of incredible thanks in part to some feedback from you guys helping me to focus the big picture as it crystallizes. I have a couple more things on the to-do list, but expect a post here next week with a public link to the document.
 
sean107 said:
Without tolerance it should be in the 70mg-90mg range. Best done with a small dose one hour before the full dose (say 10mg-20mg) and then the other 50mg-70mg. Sublingual and plugged works best for holing too IMO. Insufflated not so much.

Vortech, I've read some of and skimmed through your MXE book draft and I love it so far.
Just so happens one of my vendors just restocked on MXE so I'm hoping to have some sent my way by this weekend. ��
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Is this already available for public ?
 
ecstacylover said:
It's so hard to put a finger on what exactly MXE offers me. It's intangible but I keep coming back for it. I have plans that I can't accomplish while dissociated, so that's why I need to curb my usage. I've done 9 grams in the past month which is the most I've done in such a short interval of time in my life. I've had some crazy and bizzare experiences that I wouldn't take back. A couple that stand out to me are as follows: one: sitting out by the pool while in an M-hole and being forced to contemplate life. Heaven or Hell? Is it real? What if it was? That would be a terrible thing to burn for all eternity. And who's side am I on? I was shown that I was on the dark side. Should I embrace it? I don't think so, I think I should try to get away from it. That was scary, because I like to think I'm a pretty positve and good person and so that was confusing for me. I do believe in karma so going forward this experience made me want to be a better person. Another cool thing that I've had happen on multiple occasions in the past month is these sort of lucid dream hole states. Where my body is sleeping but my mind is aware. Sometimes it's been the result of huge MXE doses where my consciousness transcends into the void of nothingness (somewhat similar to a K-hole I believe) , but also at other times where I haven't even been under the influence of MXE and these dream states have befallen me at night. I think it is a product of the work I've done in the past year involving meditation, mindfulness, and MXE metabolites still present in my body that are allowing me to slip into these dream states despite not being directly under the influence of MXE at the time. The big bang journey must have been great, I don't have any recall of it. I have one gram left and I'm going to do that until its gone. Then I'll take a break for awhile because when I have MXE around I just can't get anything done. It's like being in hibernation. And I'm ready to come out of hibernation for awhile.
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Funny you mention the lucid dream effects. I find the night of sleep after using MXE gives me these strange lucid dreams where I feel i'm sitting in my bed, upright with my laptop on my lap while simultaneously being aware that i'm in fact laying down sleeping.
 
Me too. I have a section in my book entitled lucid dreams and lucid holes: a convergence, where I talk about this sort of phenomenon. Good to see I'm not alone :)
 
In any of those dreams did you get out of bed and walk around? That's where the fun really starts.
 
ecstacylover said:
I have plans that I can't accomplish while dissociated, so that's why I need to curb my usage. I've done 9 grams in the past month which is the most I've done in such a short interval of time in my life. I've had some crazy and bizzare experiences that I wouldn't take back. A couple that stand out to me are as follows: one: sitting out by the pool while in an M-hole and being forced to contemplate life. Heaven or Hell? Is it real? What if it was? That would be a terrible thing to burn for all eternity. And who's side am I on? I was shown that I was on the dark side. Should I embrace it? I don't think so, I think I should try to get away from it. That was scary, because I like to think I'm a pretty positve and good person and so that was confusing for me. I do believe in karma so going forward this experience made me want to be a better person. Another cool thing that I've had happen on multiple occasions in the past month is these sort of lucid dream hole states. Where my body is sleeping but my mind is aware. Sometimes it's been the result of huge MXE doses where my consciousness transcends into the void of nothingness (somewhat similar to a K-hole I believe) , but also at other times where I haven't even been under the influence of MXE and these dream states have befallen me at night. I think it is a product of the work I've done in the past year involving meditation, mindfulness, and MXE metabolites still present in my body that are allowing me to slip into these dream states despite not being directly under the influence of MXE at the time. The big bang journey must have been great, I don't have any recall of it. I have one gram left and I'm going to do that until its gone. Then I'll take a break for awhile because when I have MXE around I just can't get anything done. It's like being in hibernation. And I'm ready to come out of hibernation for awhile.
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Again, good to see the lucid hole description being mentioned. We all, whether want to admit it or not, embody both a dark and light side within us. The difference is in the conscious decision to project/amplify one side or the other through our actions. Dissociatives can help us see both of those sides, and I feel that through that unbiased perspective we tend to move towards the light side. It is OK to recognize both sides, it is only human, but in the end how we end up acting upon that realization will determine the karmic implications.
 
I guess I'll have to read your book, because I'd like to understand what you mean. Is the light sided with energy, creativity, and openness? Is the dark sided with selfishness, uncertainty and depression?

Are you suggesting that logic can guide the mind out of depression and inaction?
 
Way off topic but what's up with this thread being named 'South Kansas Is Going Bye-Bye'? I live in south-eastern Kansas. We're not going anywhere... Sadly.
 
Listening said:
I guess I'll have to read your book, because I'd like to understand what you mean. Is the light sided with energy, creativity, and openness? Is the dark sided with selfishness, uncertainty and depression?

Are you suggesting that logic can guide the mind out of depression and inaction?
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I myself found contemplation in the Bhagavad Gita, it explains our world in detail, and personally I find it resonates intensely with my own psychedelic experiences.
 
Listening, the yin-yang symbol, though ancient, still resonates with humanity for a reason. The whole requires a duality to exist as a unity, and the smaller circle of black in the white and vice versa denotes that they are not mutually exclusive. Every light casts a shadow, and darkness needs light in order to have 'form'.
Apologies for taking the thread into philosophy territory, but as we know MXE can catalyze contemplation and conceptualization. Someone in one of this thread's early iterations coined it 'philosopher's heroin'. Personally I liken that term closer to Ketamine because it is more sedative. MXE is an energetic dissociative that not only allows mind-manifestation, it provides an energy with which the visioneer has a window of opportunity to bring the vision into reality in some way. I think of it as world-bridging tool, whereas Ketamine tends to keep the dream relegated to the dream world.
 
Listening said:
Is the dark sided with selfishness, uncertainty and depression?

Are you suggesting that logic can guide the mind out of depression and inaction?
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The first question- uncertainty is not dark nor light, it is the line that separates the sides, one step away from choosing its form.

Selfishness is not dark, it is simply the self, maybe driven by unchecked ego, lacking compassion/consideration for 'other'.
Selfishness *is* an imbalance in the self-other duality, but that is not to say the self is dark and the other is light, that concept doesn't hold water.

Depression, yeah that is a result of too much time spent in the darkness. It is a lack of feeling connection. Perhaps the connections are still there and they just need a light shines on them. Other cases the connections do wither away, that is more associated with treatment resistant depression in which MXE is a wonderful tool because it has the effect of regrowing those connections as well as shining lights on the connections still intact.
 
The second question- sure why not, I have seen a change in mind set flip entire lives around. But I think logic is only an example of one side, left-brain comprehension. A spark in right-brain comprehension is at least as important. Together they make a whole understanding of inner truth and realize it is all a choice, and knowing there is an option is all most people need to choose to open their eyes, see the light, embody it, radiate it, celebrate it.
 
I thought it may have been a premonition of the bans/unavailability. I.e. south Kansas is MXE, bye bye my darling it was a good run but its time to come back to north Kansas or something like that. Either that or yeah that wizard of oz or even the matrix reference when cypher said kansas is going bye bye before neo leaves the matrix.
 
I've only had 3 or 4 days sober from MXE so far and it feels like it's been weeks. The first few days were pretty depressing but I think my moods stabilized, still feel a complete lack of motivation and connection to the outside world though. As bad as it sounds I want nothing more than to go back to it.

One thing i find odd though is despite how much MXE interferes with formation of new memories, it also at times provides greatly increased mental recall for past events. And I find myself suddenly recalling suppressed memories that I hadn't thought of in years.
 
The vivid past memory recall, like you said of sometimes suppressed memories, can be really intense. A while ago I was listening to a song I made 15 years ago and suddenly remembered listening to it with my first girlfriend, my first love, and i was overwhelmed with love like I haven't felt in ages. It was like my heart chakra cracked open. Heat radiated from my chest. I guess I had suppressed a lot of those feelings because you know, those memories can be painful when the love is lost. So I started crying, wells of tears, and it continued for over an hour. Luckily I was able to contact her through Facebook and have a chat to work it out. I learned a lot that night. I haven't been the same since, having reconnected myself to the feeling of pure love. If that isn't healing I don't know what is.
 
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I know a lot of people need healing like this. If your heart has become cold from the loss of so much love, next time you are on a dissociative, try to bring those feelings back. Listen to the music you heard when you first fell in love, imagine the energy of holding their hand or embrace, dig up the memories that you hid away because they became painful at some point or another. I might just be a transformative experience.
 
Vivid recall of past memories was one of the most profound things about MXE. I haven't had those since the first few times doing MXE though and again with 300mg of DXM and cannabis once. That was the real magic of dissociatives, which seems to be long gone by now.
 
I have definitely noticed a marked improvement in memory - both short-term and long-term - since regularly taking MXE. I'm wondering if it aids in some sort of healing or regeneration of the brain? I used to be as forgetful as hell but now I'm far more motivated and better at remembering stuff - my wife is delighted about this! Or maybe it's just that the increased motivation/positive thought MXE gives you simply makes you want to remember stuff more?
 
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