Second attempt:
- Dose: 400mcg (+/- 50mcg)
- ROA: Nasal (via nasal spray bottle)
- Set/setting: My home during a weekday, in good spirits.
- Tolerance: Dosed 250mcg a week prior.
It's 10am on a Monday, I had awoken an hour before with plans to trip today. I expected to wake up earlier in the day to attend to some things and give myself plenty of time to come down before supper. I smoke a cigarette while sitting on my bed and ponder about if this is a good idea or if I should wait. Eventually I decide to dose and attend to chores on the come-up.
At 10:30am I dose, two pushes of the pump followed by another two shortly afterwards. The bitter alcohol/water based solution doesn't play well with my nasal passages but I manage not to sneeze.
T+0:15: Before the trip really sets in I decide to shower. Mostly because I really needed to, but also because I enjoy showering on the come up of most substance. My shower only provides about 10 minutes of hot water before becoming bitterly cold due to an old water heater half full of sediment. Up until last year my water source was a well. So when I shower at home I must be all business, there is no time to actually enjoy it, it's a race against time before the ice cold water suddenly pours in.
Not so on this day. The come-up hit me nearly instantly when I entered the shower and extreme time dilation set in. The shower couldn't have lasted more than 10 minutes, but it felt like a half an hour. I raced to wash myself fearing the bitter cold only to discover I had many minutes of hot water once I'd finished. I stood there for what seemed like forever with the hot water pouring over me.
t+0:30: I have finished showering and set about completing the task of combing the knots out of my hair. Life ain't easy for a man that hasn't had a hair cut in years and my thick hair is always a pain in the ass to deal with. I work the comb through my hair with diligence making sure each and every knot is gone. I admire myself in the mirror for awhile. This is odd for me because I've never been one to care much about my appearance. I brush my teeth and nearly gag from the strong taste of the toothpaste.
t+0:45: I am done with the task of cleaning myself. I take a moment to gather my thoughts, the trip is still rocketing up and I'm already at a solid ++. I now focus on the task of washing my clothes. I gather up every article of clothing I can find and set up the stairs with a large bundle of them in arms making sure not to drop anything. I set the washing machine and retire back to my bedroom. On the way up I notice that the light coming through the windows is extremely bright already and a quick check in the bathroom mirror confirms my pupils are already very dilated.
t+0:50: I am laying in my darken bedroom on the bed. Visuals are starting to ramp up now. The room becomes alive with electricity, wood grain paneling starts flowing like rivers, white cinder blocks producing spirals and random visual noise, a carpet divider between my bedroom and a storage space twists, turns and flows. I admire all this for what seems like at least a half hour.
Eventually I notice that the washing machine has not started its first cycle yet. Could I have forgotten to start it? Did I fuck up in setting it? I ponder this for some time. I become worried and decide to check up on it.
Amazing...everything is set correctly when I go upstairs and the machine has simply not filled up with water yet. This means from the time I went down until coming back up only a few minutes had passed. I realize that I can not rely on myself to keep up with the passage of time anymore.
t+1:00-2:00: I need something to occupy myself but I fear I'd be unable to play video games. I also don't want to deal with booting up the xbox because I know I'll be bombarded with requests to join chat sessions or games. I decide to watch TV instead.
I turn on the TV and it's on some random show I've never seen before. All I remember is it was some kind of reality TV show and I found it very fake and off putting. I watch for awhile anyway just enjoying the visuals of the TV which is shifting around and melting. A commercial comes on for some new Tyler Perry show and I'm instantly in a bad mood. As per usual it's some random show of his that vilifies white people. I mutter to myself "fucking racist" and change the channel to cartoon network.
Ah..cartoons, my guilty pleasure! A man of my age should not enjoy them as much as I do. The Amazing World of Gumball is on, an incredibly trippy program even if one is sober. I've seen this episode many times before but it doesn't matter. I laugh and giggle at the show as if I'm 5 years old again and have never seen it before. The room is still alive with visuals but I take little notice, I'm totally focused on the show.
Again commercials come on and I find them to be too fake for my liking. Adults exploiting kids to sell shitty toys. I find this very depressing, this commercialized world and how it starts assaulting us with ads as soon as you come out of the womb. Thankfully cartoons come back after only a few commercials.
t+3:00-4:00: I take a break from the TV and turn it off, the noise is unbearable. The room is still alive with visuals. I turn my head over to a large comforter I don't use in the summer that occupies the side of the bed I don't sleep on. It vibrates with energy and when I place my hand unto it both melt together and flow into each other. I am reminded of the famous scene in Fear and Loathing when Hunter is checking in while on acid, the one where the guy is on the pay phone and the carpet crawls up his legs.
I close my eyes and note that I have lots of CEVs going on. They strobe and flash...is this a brain zap? I snap awake fearing the worst but everything is fine. I want to listen to music but the task of putting any on seems to be too much to deal with at this time. I look for the CEVs again but they won't make themselves known.
At this moment I remember my clothes are still in the wash. I do not hear the machine running so I go upstairs and place everything into the dryer. The outside light is very bright and hurts my eyes. I grab a pair of sun glasses from the kitchen table and venture outside into my yard. I spend a few moments out there admiring nature. I decide to go back in quickly though because I live on a farm and family can wander up at any time. Not wanting to be discovered in this state by a great uncle or god forbid a grandparent I retire back to the bedroom.
t+5:00-6:00: Visuals continue until the 6th hour. At the 6th hour I desire a re-dose but think better of it. I smoke a couple of hits of cannabis from my trusty pipe and have instant panic. Fears of everything in my life flood in and for a moment I nearly cry. I am dealing with many injuries at the moment and the fact that I feel useless and can't do some of the things I used to enjoy really start to get to me. I am worried about the future and how I will survive in this world since I can no longer do hard labor and the fact that my savings are almost depleted. Memories of my youth flood in...all the mistakes that led to this point in my life.
I turn on the TV for distraction and it helps. I eventually come out of this panic and calm down, I reflect on my past. If I had a benzo I would have taken it.
t+7:00-8:00: I am consumed by hunger but there is nothing to eat in the house. An oversight I normally wouldn't make...can I drive? I wonder. By the 8th hour hunger is all consuming. I decide that yes, in fact I can drive since the visuals are no longer present. I wait an hour to make sure.
t+9:00: I drive into town and about halfway there I realize that I probably shouldn't. My driving is okay but visually I'm still not 100%. Traffic lights are much brighter than usual. I am paranoid about begin able to maintain speed. This was not a good idea and I kick myself for even attempting this but I need food. I press on to the Subway.
Upon entering I attempt to order, thankfully begin the only customer. The guys there can tell I'm off, and I'm tongue tied. I am stumbling over words in the mists of my paranoia. I do manage to order and they quickly make my sandwich, a meatball sub loaded down with black olives. I pay and quickly leave and take the back roads home. I am able to maintain speed and the lack of lights make it easier to see but if I could go back I wouldn't have driven in the first place.
t+10:00: I eat my food and it tastes bland, like a prepackaged frozen dinner. This is not good food and I should stop eating this crap. Regardless I force it down a long with a few glasses of sweet tea. I feel better now that my hunger is taken care of. I watch a few hours of TV and retire to bed, finding sleep easily.
I'll admit driving was a stupid move but in my defense I was way down from the peak. I would not do it again of course as this is far outside the norm for me. I only mentioned it because I want to make clear that even many hours post-peak you're not okay to drive no matter what you may think. If you need to drive have someone sober do it. I would have asked for the aid of a sober driver but I was paranoid about begin discovered. You see, I am an avid driver so it's way outside the norm for me to ask anyone in the family for a ride. If I would have they would have known something was instantly off about me. This is not a great excuse but was my mind state at the time.
Hopefully someone finds this helpful.
Should you choose to share I would like that. I haven't seen many reports on this... in fact I can't recall any off the top of my head, though I'm sure they exist.
