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Benzos The Benzodiazepine MEGA THREAD - Direct Benzo Questions Here

i have no desire for intoxication, i just like to get the most out of it. i talked to the pharmacist today and he said that all most benzos are potentiated by grapefruit juice but alprazolam and diazepam are proven to have significant interactions with it. apparently the potentiation with clonazepam is not significant enough for them to feel a label should be placed on the bottle.

when i started kpins i was using grapefruit juice and i just got some more, months later. i will experiment in 15 mins since it will be 30 mins since 8 oz of organic white grapefruit juice. and remember kiddies, dont take the kpin sublingually if you are trying to potentiate, that bypasses the first pass metabolization altogether and makes the experiment moot.
exucse the typos. im dumb.
 
yeah tambourine I also am prescirbed klons and I have a huge tolerance. I get 120 .5s a month and always run out early. I dont abuse them I just have horrible axiety, panic, and seizures. I want to get switched back to 4mg of xanax a day but my Dr. Died and i had to go to another one and she really sucks and dosnt listen to anything I have to say. <snip>
 
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Ok so this GP has me on 50mg of clonaz a week and scripts me 10 .125mg tablets of triazolam a week, and to take 1 tablet before bed. how the hell does he think the triazolam will work for me at that dose? I wanted to switch from clonazepam to flunitrazepam and continue to taper, and i had an excellent case, but instead he ends up giving me more benzodiazepine's.... and decided to stop tapering for now as i'm going through a lot of shit atm.

All this will achieve is that i'll soon be scripted .5mg of triazolam at night. I doubt he'd want to write out a script of triazolam(which only come in the .125's here in melbourne) and to take 5 at night. He'll go to 4 though, I mean he'll have to because I wont stop complianig about insomnia and anxiety until i get flunitrazepam. But for now i'm happy to try benzo's that i've never had. It's funny cause from reading these boards i got the impression that clonazepam was the perfect benzo for me, and it almost is... it does everything it should. kills the anxiety and doesn't give me any sense of euphoria, which is good because the only other noticeable effects are with my sex drive, and it's not that bad considering what dose i'm on. I don't bother with recreational doses of clonaz anymore because 12mg won't give me any noticeable effects from 6mg. My GP believes flunitrazepam is stronger than clonazepam and i think it's why he didn't go for my idea of swapping and continue to taper. Both drugs are nitro benzodiazepines and have similar action and HL's and i thought they were regarded as being the same in terms of strength. if anything i was under the impression that clonazepam was the stronger... i guesss it's all subjective when you're a GP.

I wouldn't mind building up a triazolam script, but i really wanted to get of the clonaz. I don't want to go back to diazepam, and i don't want xannax. any suggestions on what benzo i could swap clonaz with?
 
50 mg of klonopin>? thats alot did i mis read>?a day> srry i can only take 3 -5 mg of clon than my motor skills get weird i take xanax and klonopin im out till tomorrow or latest monday my dr outta town till monday but well see so my buddy gave me lithium and oxazepam horrible im a lil relaxed but not my 3 mg klon and 2 mg xanax daily but ill atleast sleep tonight yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maybe ill smoke and feeell gooooooddddddddd ................................peace my brudaaaassssssss be safe and were gonna milk these benzos outtta my doc she stopped me off sub i been on for 4 years so she knows i was hurtin but the benzos help me soooo muchhhh im normal again but i dont wanna have another wdrawl from benzos after i wd from .5 mg suboxone its horridsddd sub will hurt even down that low
 
I wouldn't mind building up a triazolam script, but i really wanted to get of the clonaz. I don't want to go back to diazepam, and i don't want xannax. any suggestions on what benzo i could swap clonaz with?

Temazepam maybe? Has anxiolytic & hypnotic properties. However if you're taking 7! mg of clonazepam you may need an obscene amount of temazepam.

Lorazepam maybe? Similar dosages, like mg for mg plus i find lorazepam nicely sedating in the higher dose range.

Why dont you want to go back to diazepam if you don't mind my asking? It's generally considered the best all rounder.
 
I read somewhere [if I can rediscover the post, I will post reference], that caffeine and analogoues/derivatives if it have a minimizing effect on benzos - my only rational understanding of that is that the stimulant properties of coffee and green tea and the likes, lessens the downer effect of benzos to a minimal degree. Dees anyone have a better explanation for this, or a complete disclaimer? [I really doubt that coffee fucks too much with GABA receptors...]

I'm looking for info on counter-action of drugs (caffeine vs. benzos), or synergistic effects. So bring on the feedback!

Thanks all. I hope everyone is enjoying their benzos... This late morning, I took 6 mg Clonazepam (12 mg seems to be the threshhold for recreational effects for me, while 2-8 or 10 mg usually just takes care of the anxiolytic effects and makes me a talkative mofo...

This morning, took a shit (too much info for some, but shitting is a ritual for me, and I don't see the harm in discussing such a natural phenomenon, in reality it's just as 'disgusting' as eating), and now I'm having triple cortado (which if above case of inhibiting action is true, I'm triple minimizing the effects of the pams... which would suck, as I am using them to cover up the wd symptoms of my rather abrupt and relatively quick Buprenorphine taper).

In terms of Nitrazepam I usually need 20 mg + doses to feel anything - anyone else have something to say on this matter?...

NOTE: the elimination half-life of Nitrazepam is about 15-38 hrs, and Clonazepam 18-50, and I usually re-dose at the lower end of the time spectrum, usually around the 24 hr mark, for significant effects, and then tolerance builds up fast, so day by day, doses seem to increase to maintain desirable effects. Does anyone have a good maintenance schedule they'd like to share in terms of the two drugs, and if any other info available on other benzos with the same regard, please speak up...

P.S. I am not a recovering alcoholic, and only have anxiety and sleep issues during the last phases of my Buprenorphine taper to get off heroin...

P.S.S. I like to run and exercise in natural surroundings(forest, lakeside, etc) after taking Buprenorphine and Benzos (when a nice synergism is going), possibly smoking a joint halfway through the run, and then heading home for a hot/cold shower (depending on the weather and intensity of running)... Runs are usually around 1-3 km for relaxation purposes, and longer for intense cardio training (but this usually doesn't involve drugs) I know excercising increases metabolic rates at the time of excercise, so does this mean more of the drug is also broken down, expelled from the system through sweat glands, etc.?
 
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) I know excercising increases metabolic rates at the time of excercise, so does this mean more of the drug is also broken down, expelled from the system through sweat glands, etc.?

I've oft wonndered this myself. Mayeb ask the above in advanced drug discussion? IMO it seems to have no noticeably consistant difference, although times before i've thought drugs are kicking in quicker when out for a run.
 
Oh and to anyone thats familiar with Triazolam. I have a 7 mg a day tolerance to clonazepam(last 5 days it's been 5mg a day) what should my first dose be? i've never had it before. I want to have it and go to bed and feel the effects and hopefully fall asleep and be good for work tomorrow. My gut say's 3x.125

I was going to say all ten tablets.

Obviously in the interest of harm reduction, you want to start with 3 to 4 of them at the most.

I would personally take at least 2 of them, and I have no benzo tolerance. I once had a single 0.125mg tablet, and it was quite nice on its own, but not hypnotic at this dosage.

Clonazepam is the only benzo that I cannot take, I get paradoxical reactions out of it.

If you would use a 7mg alprazolam dosage, then I would say I use 0.5mg of alprazolam per dosage.

The BA of triazolam is lower for the oral ROA, so whatever your xanax dosage would be, take the same dosage of triazolam.

Sublingual use can boost the BA an extra 9%.

Because it has a low BA orally, I have never really thought much of this benzo, I highly prefer temazepam and midazolam.

i know most aren't soluble in water, but what about Triazolam. I know it's what they give you at hospitals as an injection, but can you manage IV'n them with using a .22 MF? and minimizing the harm. or is that just a stupid question? most likely the latter, but worth knowing non the less. And no i've never attempted tio IV a benzo, not even the Temaze gel caps

Read up

Horrible water solubility. Only estazolam has a lower water solubility.

Without a solvent you can't IV this unless you want to inject an ungodly amount of water.
 


Clonazepam is the only benzo that I cannot take, I get paradoxical reactions out of it.

.

Man, being that i've researched benzos on many, many related threads on this site, I've seen you say you get paradoxical reactions from clonazepam so many times it's like deja vu. I also saw you say it was the first benzo you tried. I'm curious; have you only tried it the once? & just what kind of pr's did you get? Rebound anxiety? A third eye?
I'm serious, just what happened on this infamous occasion you tried & learned to loath clonazepam?
 
Man, being that i've researched benzos on many, many related threads on this site, I've seen you say you get paradoxical reactions from clonazepam so many times it's like deja vu. I also saw you say it was the first benzo you tried. I'm curious; have you only tried it the once? & just what kind of pr's did you get? Rebound anxiety? A third eye?
I'm serious, just what happened on this infamous occasion you tried & learned to loath clonazepam?

hehe, I was curious too actually.. :\
 
clonazepam is very strange. unlike other benzos it seems to have a ceiling effect.. like after 4mg nothing else happens.

Yes, with my current pharmacological background and experience, I have noticed some similar effects. While continuing to take 1-1.5mg buprenorphine rectally everyday, and smoke excellent marijuana sparingly, I find 1-1.5mg of clonazepam works best daily.

When I get to 2mg, and even I tried higher at 6mg and 7mg, it felt pretty much identical to 2-4mg...

After 2mg+, my speech begins to be effected...

I almost feel like the sweet spot for clonazepam is like the sweet spot for buprenorphine -- low-ish. :)

The strange thing is that when I obtain alprazolam, I love to take many bars ~6mg and find it completely euphoric. I just find clonazepam more euphoric (because therapeutic?) at lower doses.:\


^There is definitely not a ceiling like that with clonazepam... I understand what you are referring to though... You're just not realizing how intoxicated you truly are getting.

Right, the CNS effects and everything else must increase, b/c clonazepam has no ceiling effect, but I've noticed this strange effect with clonazepam that jeah noticed too.
 

Lorazepam, diazepam, and others such as temazepam and triazolam can cause random/opposite-from-its-intended effects like this, which are not intended. This would be known as a paradoxical reaction.


yeah i heard that about Triazolam and it being one of the most prominent ones that several countries limit, or have outright banned it's use outright, but wasn't aware of the others. I don't think i've ever had an adverse, or unintended reaction to any benzo so far....



The only benzodiazepine that doesn't interrupt REM sleep is temazepam.

I wouldn't take benzos every day, and especially not that dosage of them, unless you wouldn't mind being physically dependent on them.

Interesting that temaze is the only benzo that doesn't effect REM sleep. Amazing actually. I was speaking to a pharmacist about triazolam and he mentioned there was a melatonin tablet based sleeper newish to the market. I wonder if a hypnotic combined with melatonin would be beneficial in terms of minimizing the effects benzodiazapines have on REM sleep, and if there are any classic infamous barbiturates that are superior to 'any' sleeping pill on the market? hmmmm Have you ever tried Quazepam CH? the wiki artical is quite intersting. it says it's a unique benzo in terms of its action on the type1 benzodiazepine receptors which results in reduced sleep latency in promotion of sleep. It goes on to mention stuff about Quazepam having potent sleep inducing and sleep maintaining properties, including resembling normal sleeping patterns, promotes slow wave sleep and sleep architecture that no other benzo possess. Yeah so i'll have to find out if they script this stuff in my country.

Q u a z e p a m

My gp said of Flunitrazepam; "That it was a great drug" he reflected.... "But it was essentially ruined by the manner in which it was abused in" After my suggestion i made the point that it was only found in between 0.33% to 1% in some collective record of date rape reports theses days. I didn't want to push him, but he obviously didn't get my point. I'd actually be on less benzodiazepines and reducing each week had he really understood where i was coming from. now i guess i will have to tell him to jack up my low dose of triazolam so it can work.

You have no choice to be physically dependent on them, just like a lot of things. The dose is high and it's around the 4th month mark, i know i need to get off them. Won't be long before i can say i can defiantly get off them, but for now the last thing i need is to WD from another drug(s)

Triazolam is the most potent benzo there is for human consumption (although, it seems like brotizolam may be more potent but we need more data to prove it). Triazolam is 2x more potent than clonazepam (0.25 mg triazolam = 0.5 mg clonazepam). If you can take 7 mg of clonazepam at once and be okay, I'd suggest you cut that dose in half for triazolam and then cut it some more because triazolam is an hypnotic agent, whereas clonazepam is not. What this means is that triazolam has stronger effects, especially sedative effects. I normally would never recommend such a dose, but since you have such a massive tolerance, I recommend you start off with 1 mg triazolam and wait for about 30 minutes to see what happens. If nothing happens, take another dose (0.5-1 mg) and that should get you to sleep.

No triazolam is NOT water soluble.

The only benzos that are water soluble are flurazepam, midazolam, and loprazolam (not lorazepam).


Thanks for the info mate. at the moment my weekly triazolam script is a whopping 1.25mg:\

if anyone could tell by my post i had decided to eat 3 .125mg triazolam tablets. So i had .375mg and was a nice subtle very obscured feeling, but also a feel of relief that i was able to feel something other than clonazepam. My girlfriend(ithink) came around for dinner the next night so i saved 4 for me and 3 for her.... I felt the same but she felt it more than me, although she uses benzo's she has a once a week tolerance to diazepam. In exactly 2 days time i will have picked up my 10 tablets and will dose 1.2mg of triazolam at night, dosing 4 or 5mg of clonaz on that morning. Sounds like a plan man;)

A locum gave me a 10mg IM shot of diazepam in the bicep8o never again. I guess i'll have to wait to when i have something crazy done on my teeth, or while i'm in a private hospital bed=D I've always had a phobia as a kid going to the dentist. i got over that..... maybe, but i haven't been 4 four years and i'm booked in near the start of Avril


also agree with clonazepam having some sort of ceiling effect


50 mg of klonopin>? thats alot did i mis read>?a day> srry i can only take 3 -5 mg of clon than my motor skills get weird i take xanax and klonopin im out till tomorrow or latest monday my dr outta town till monday but well see so my buddy gave me lithium and oxazepam horrible im a lil relaxed but not my 3 mg klon and 2 mg xanax daily but ill atleast sleep tonight yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maybe ill smoke and feeell gooooooddddddddd ................................peace my brudaaaassssssss be safe and were gonna milk these benzos outtta my doc she stopped me off sub i been on for 4 years so she knows i was hurtin but the benzos help me soooo muchhhh im normal again but i dont wanna have another wdrawl from benzos after i wd from .5 mg suboxone its horridsddd sub will hurt even down that low

Did you mean 50mg of Clonaz a day? if you did then you misread me. I'm taking 50mg a week, but i always usually give anywhere between 6 to 14mgs away each week too.

Yeah WDíng from buperenorphine sucks.... even when you think you've prepared yourself by tapering really low and statically using other opiates or benzos, it's always enduring and insidious,.... i'm going to beat it next time:p



Temazepam maybe? Has anxiolytic & hypnotic properties. However if you're taking 7! mg of clonazepam you may need an obscene amount of temazepam.

Lorazepam maybe? Similar dosages, like mg for mg plus i find lorazepam nicely sedating in the higher dose range.

Why dont you want to go back to diazepam if you don't mind my asking? It's generally considered the best all rounder.


yeah even before i evert started taking clonazepam i was on benzo's for 2 weeks, just diazepam and xannax, and then got scripted 25 x 10mg Temaze and when i got home i took 12 and waited a bit. after an hour i just thought what the hell and took the other 13 and it was barely recreational. Temaze was my first benzo/hypnotic love, but i fear if i take it now it wont do anything, and you're right, it would have to be an obscene amount of temazepam... like take 15 to 20 tablets at night lol

I was going to add that i'd not want oxazepam or lorazepam, mainly because i've tried the former extencivly and i've only had the latter a few times and all the times i've had lorazepam i either haven't noticed, fallen asleep or couldn't remember lol. I've read some quotes on here that lorazepam is the 'least' euphoric benzo a number of times, but that doesn't put me off it. It is a decent amount more expensive than clonazepam, but thats not whats going to make my mind up. Too tired and about to go to bed n normally i'd look it up, but Lorazepam has a HL of 7 hours?? it a lil bit less? that would be my biggest concern the HL. the ideal factor is the strength of both benzo's. And if it is sedating in higher doses then it would work but i'm not sure if it would hold me for 24 hour dosing... i'd have to give it a try.

I don't want to fall back to diazepam, simply because it's always there. it's not going anywhere. it's the jack of all trades and the first line of a myriad of indications. There's no exotic aura about diazepam even though it's so good, and from my experience it's exactly how you described it and its up there with my favorite benzo's. Not on the boards here, but from what i've seen in day to day life... people underrate diazepam.... I mean if i really wanted to go to bed and had a choice of 1 5mg diazepam or 1 7.5mg Zopiclone to take to sleep, then i'd go the valium every time... i'm really interested in Quazepam, but i doubt it is even on the market here
 
well the good doctor has increased my triazolam dose to 4 .125mg tablets at night, so now i half a mg of trizorlam a night on top of 6mg of clonazepam in the morning.

when i went back i took some benzo conversion charts and read a lot on triazolam. since he's got me on 50mg of clonazepam a week (well i actually take 40-42mg a week n give the rest to my mum to put in her safe) and he scripted me 10 .0125 triazolam tablets a week and to take one before bed, first of all i said that the pharmacist told me the triazolam wouldn't work at that dose because of the clonazepam. So i told my GP i took 1, went to bed and nothing. Next night took 2 and went to bed and felt nothing, couldn't sleep. Then i said i took 4 the following night and managed a few hours sleep, but woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. With the remaining 3 i had left i told him that i waited 2 days and took 3, went to bed and couldn't sleep, so he said we'll give 4 a shot and come back and see me next week (tuesday night) and tell me how it goes.

Well for triazolam to be worthwhile for me at this point in time i feel i need over half a mg for it to be effective. I did rec with it by taking 2mg and having not dosed clonazepam for around 40 hours. The results were nice and next time i will maybe dose 3-4mg of triazolam.... I hadn't noticed any adverse effects at 2mg so i think it's safe. I don't want to be on a sleeper every night like i'm suggesting to my GP and i've already given 15 tablets for my mum to hold on to for the future when i'm completely off benzo's and i plan to give her another 15 each week while i'm getting 40 a week (the first script 10 a week was filled at a different pharmacy to the 30 a week one just because the first pharmacy was closed, so i payed for the bottle of 50 and i intend to keep picking up 10 from them for the next 3 weeks, whilst getting my regular 30 at my other pharmacy. very cheeky indeed)

I just want him to give me the bottle a week 50. but i will just say that 5 to 6 at night is really helping me and ask him to make the script for 5 or 6 at night, and see him again in a couple of weeks and he should bump it up to 7....the whole bottle, i mean it would be pointless to pick up 42 tablets a week, rather than 50, but i won't pressure him. I even reassured him that i deliberately took it to another pharmacy than the one that gives me the weekly clonazepam script and he mentioned that it wouldn't look the best getting both from the same pharmacy considering the doses, hahaha. He's an awesome doctor though, and he understands the shit i'm going through atm, where not many other GP's would not.

I honestly think i should go for hypnodorm, but only after i've given triazolam a good go. I'm reducing myself(and with the help of my mum) so i want to build up a clonaz and triazolam collection in the mean time and stay on a large amount of clonazepam in his mind, while i can taper myself and have the benefit of stockpiling strong benzo's for future recreational use. I have no need for them generally, and the only time i have an anxiety attack is when i'm smoking weed, and sometimes on psychedelics. I don't want to get used to taking a sleeper every night and i definitely won't be doing that. but once or twice a week when i really need it is fine.

my future is in doubt and i'm waiting on some news so if its good news then i will be quite determined to start tapering asap/ on the other hand i might feel suicidal and decide that i don't care, we'll see, but for now i remain in limbo
 
Im trusting my doctor here, but I just don't know if he is going too quickly or not. I was taking 1.0mg kpin a day for about 6 or 5 months, then i started taking .5 for about 3 or 4 months and then he put me on 10mg valium becasue i wanted to get off, for 2 weeks, now im down to 7mg valium for 2 weeks then ill probably go lower... does this seem too fast or idk. Ik valium has a longer half life, i just dont know if this is going too quickly.

only reason im going to this phsyc is for suboxone, i want to find another one soon that listens to people and doesnt see them as just symptoms, but finding a good one and prescribe suboxone is tough
 
^ It may not be too fast now, it's when you get to the really low doses that you feel the drop in dosage more.

I just went from 1mg to .5mg, and that is halving the dose at this point. It's not too bad though, I find 3 weeks to be ideal at this point, and dropping by .5 once you get to 2mgs.

I did start to sweat a lot today, and I am not sure if it is from the lower dose of valium, or if I am legit sick. Anyone else experience sweating, along with loss of appetite from lowered dose of benzos?
 
^Sweating IME is definitely a symptom of opiate or benzo withdrawal...
 
Okay so I'm going to my phsyc tommorow, who I hate but just go to cause he is my only source of suboxone for now.

But besides that he is trying to get me off of benzos. Which I want, but I feel its going a little too fast.
example- I have depersonalization and thats why I took it in the first place. I was on .5mg kpin when going to him. Was on 1mg for like 6 months then .5 for like 3 or 4 months leading up to him. Then I ask to go down on my dose with valium.

He prescribes me 10mg valium for 2 weeks, which I did, then 2 weeks of 7/8mg a day which then after these two weeks will probably go lower. Today is the mark of a week on the 7/8mg dose. and I'm sure he is going to want to put me on a lower dose after these 2 weeks are over. But I feel it may be going a little too fast, i feel slighty more anxious (obviously) and ehh. Which can also be attributed to me stopping the Cymbalta a few days ago, being off of drugs completely for a month.

But besides this, I still feel like this is a little too quick? Should I ask to possibly go a little slower? I really hate this phsyc cause of the way he does things and .. i wont even get into it. But he is all I have for now ,and Im only going to him for suboxone until I find a doctor for suboxone and and GOOD phsyc to help me with my other problems.

Should I ask to take the taper down a little slower, or does 2 weeks then go down on the dose seem reasonable?
 
Okay so I'm going to my phsyc tommorow, who I hate but just go to cause he is my only source of suboxone for now.

But besides that he is trying to get me off of benzos. Which I want, but I feel its going a little too fast.
example- I have depersonalization and thats why I took it in the first place. I was on .5mg kpin when going to him. Was on 1mg for like 6 months then .5 for like 3 or 4 months leading up to him. Then I ask to go down on my dose with valium.

He prescribes me 10mg valium for 2 weeks, which I did, then 2 weeks of 7/8mg a day which then after these two weeks will probably go lower. Today is the mark of a week on the 7/8mg dose. and I'm sure he is going to want to put me on a lower dose after these 2 weeks are over. But I feel it may be going a little too fast, i feel slighty more anxious (obviously) and ehh. Which can also be attributed to me stopping the Cymbalta a few days ago, being off of drugs completely for a month.

But besides this, I still feel like this is a little too quick? Should I ask to possibly go a little slower? I really hate this phsyc cause of the way he does things and .. i wont even get into it. But he is all I have for now ,and Im only going to him for suboxone until I find a doctor for suboxone and and GOOD phsyc to help me with my other problems.

Should I ask to take the taper down a little slower, or does 2 weeks then go down on the dose seem reasonable?

Yes you can certainly request to continue the taper but to slow it down a little bit. I'm sure the doctor won't have a problem with this, as you're not just asking to get back on benzos all together, but just to taper slower.

The rate you're going at probably isn't too quick, but everyone will have their own rate they want to go at it. You shouldn't feel rushed getting off of the drug, because then you may be more likely to resume taking it at a later day and time.

Best of luck at quitting benzos. Have you gotten any long term gains out of taking them for depersonalization?
 
Yes you can certainly request to continue the taper but to slow it down a little bit. I'm sure the doctor won't have a problem with this, as you're not just asking to get back on benzos all together, but just to taper slower.

The rate you're going at probably isn't too quick, but everyone will have their own rate they want to go at it. You shouldn't feel rushed getting off of the drug, because then you may be more likely to resume taking it at a later day and time.

Best of luck at quitting benzos. Have you gotten any long term gains out of taking them for depersonalization?

Well I don't know if I got gains from benzos for the DP. I mean it probably helped in the begining when I was alot more panicy and anxious. But after the months went by and ive been going to therapy and drug places, etc. I've learned a lot about it, and anxiety and how to deal with it better. I mainly learned I really don't need benzos to do it, and doing everything without benzos everyday is a lot better than using that as some crutch.
And I was also expecting some miracle type cure I guess from benzos and that didn't happened cause i was uninformed and thought well no anxiety = no DP. but it doesnt really work that way, just is gradual as I cotinue staying clean, etc.
 
Been 4 years on heavy doses. My memory recall is shot, I'm considerably less intelligent than I had been before this, and all this interferes with my social, scholary, and personal life. I am finally ready to get off the damn things. There are simply no beneficial effects to it once you've got that tolerance maxed out and the doctor (that is, if you're obtaining it legally) can't write larger scripts without the DEA on his ass. I have just as much, if not more, anxiety than I did when I started. I did manage to quit for several months but started up again. And despite me being adamant about quitting, I find some kpins missing from their baggie I put them in the morning after I went a bit overboard with drinking last night. Hopefully that will just be a one-time thing. Can't expect something as serious as this sort of predicament to be resolved without a good balance between optimism/hope as not to be cocky about it and being realistic as to not be discouraged.
 
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