TDS The 2024 Suicide Support Group

[Jnowhere]

This is My new Nick (i forgot My password from my previous Nick Isavela). I have Been thinking suicide The last 5 days, seriously. How, when, with what and when i'm alone at home, so no one can save me or see me dying. This is serious. I wished to die this much almost 2years ago.

My whole family including my sister(labeled a suicide, not sure but she was epileptic and had other issues and took a lot of prescription drugs and died). I too sit around alone, no one. No friends or family and slowly dying, but suicide is a bad choice
If I wanted to die, It would take me a few seconds, but I will not go down like that.
Do not be scared to be alone. Talk to someone and be strong. I know the feeling. Watching, actually seeing my whole family die one by one sucks, but don't give in too the sadness or depression. Despair sucks but suicide is never the answer. PM me, anytime, loneliness is awful, but being a suicide statistic is not an option. The feelings pass, please don't do something you cannot take back.

 

[Jnowhere]

I hope you are not suggesting it be used for date rape, and are looking at it for the medically beneficial uses. Just stay away from hot tubs while on it.

 

[mr peabody]

Maybe have a look here :

SUICIDALITY | +40 articles

Cambridge Ketamine, the new suicide prevention weapon by Mark Shenefelt | Feb 24, 2019 Ketamine, with a long record as both a dependable surgery anesthetic and a notorious club and date-rape drug, has gained new life in northern Utah as a weapon against severe depression and thoughts of...

bluelight.org

 

[FallenOne86]

I swallowed 8 30mgs blue fentanyl pills and unfortunately I'm still here or I guess I should say fortunately? I just ended up getting sick for a couple days and it was pure hell. But I've been depressed because my damn meth addiction and be not being able to work out because of my weak bones. Been having pain in my delts and I just wanna be able to continue bodybuilding but I don't know how to quit the meth. I dread dealing with withdrawals and gaining weight and being lethargic I can't I just can't do it

 

[Eryximachus]

I swallowed 8 30mgs blue fentanyl pills and unfortunately I'm still here or I guess I should say fortunately? I just ended up getting sick for a couple days and it was pure hell. But I've been depressed because my damn meth addiction and be not being able to work out because of my weak bones. Been having pain in my delts and I just wanna be able to continue bodybuilding but I don't know how to quit the meth. I dread dealing with withdrawals and gaining weight and being lethargic I can't I just can't do it

Bro, you've just got to quit. I got hooked on them orange meth pills from the dark web during Covid just to get through work, which was impossible without the gym (I was in NYC - all closed).

Believe me, the longer you are on, the harder it is going to be to recover. Eventually, you are going to crack and rebuilding your life will be much, much harder. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm just shocked.

 

[garygroundwork]

I swallowed 8 30mgs blue fentanyl pills and unfortunately I'm still here or I guess I should say fortunately? I just ended up getting sick for a couple days and it was pure hell. But I've been depressed because my damn meth addiction and be not being able to work out because of my weak bones. Been having pain in my delts and I just wanna be able to continue bodybuilding but I don't know how to quit the meth. I dread dealing with withdrawals and gaining weight and being lethargic I can't I just can't do it

have you tried adderall or dexamphet all to taper off the meth??

 

[golego55]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here for doing what you do and helping, supporting, laughing, and generally being good with each other.

So many people here have helped me through some difficult times and I'm extremely grateful.

I've seen and heard about some people hurting each other (physically, emotionally, etc), but I have hope that the works of the good will continue and triumph.

[I've hurt, inconvenienced, and many people so it will be a big relief to many when the time comes. My pain will be nothing compared to the pain of others, I wish the opposite would hold true, but I am who I am.

I'm a registered organ donor and I hope that will work out (I do have some chronic conditions that might interfere with that). Being in close proximity to the hospital will hopefully lessen the response time to my body and mitigate any deterioration.]

Love to all of you.

 

[FallenOne86]

have you tried adderall or dexamphet all to taper off the meth??

Yeah.. I have.. I thought it was helping but I don't know what happened.. I think day 4 or 5 I went crazy but I blocked out most of it so I'd have to ask my wife and I can share what happened cuz I'm sure it's an entertaining story at least for ya'll haha

 

[garygroundwork]

Yeah.. I have.. I thought it was helping but I don't know what happened.. I think day 4 or 5 I went crazy but I blocked out most of it so I'd have to ask my wife and I can share what happened cuz I'm sure it's an entertaining story at least for ya'll haha

but that's how I would play it..

coming off meth.. I be on adder all Dex clonidine and possibly xanax

but then slowly tapering them too

over months

 

[FallenOne86]

but that's how I would play it..

coming off meth.. I be on adder all Dex clonidine and possibly xanax

but then slowly tapering them too

over months

What's really fucked up is how quickly my bones have weakened with today's meth.. I mean shit man I don't remember the old school crank fucking up your bones that fast. But then again they say meth and bodybuilding don't go hand in hand but with TRT they sure do haha I mean I got the body of a Greek God and I still have my pearly whites but a great smile doesn't help if I can't squat as heavy as I would like to. But I guess I should take it easy cuz I'm not competing so I shouldn't be upset if I can't squat 550-600 like I used to.. I am 37. I just miss my twenties and being able to push it hard. Recovery was a breeze! This aging thing scares the shit out of me man I don't know. I'm having the worst time with it. And my wife is 47 so I definitely don't talk about the age thing around her cuz she's worse then me hahaha if only I had a time machine!

 

[garygroundwork]

What's really fucked up is how quickly my bones have weakened with today's meth.. I mean shit man I don't remember the old school crank fucking up your bones that fast. But then again they say meth and bodybuilding don't go hand in hand but with TRT they sure do haha I mean I got the body of a Greek God and I still have my pearly whites but a great smile doesn't help if I can't squat as heavy as I would like to. But I guess I should take it easy cuz I'm not competing so I shouldn't be upset if I can't squat 550-600 like I used to.. I am 37. I just miss my twenties and being able to push it hard. Recovery was a breeze! This aging thing scares the shit out of me man I don't know. I'm having the worst time with it. And my wife is 47 so I definitely don't talk about the age thing around her cuz she's worse then me hahaha if only I had a time machine!

yeah get on some test and some deca for a bit

 

[DesertHarp]

Euthanasia is now done by giving the patient a bunch of Seconal to swallow all at once. It's a barbiturate. I read that some individuals are taking 48 hours to die, after swallowing the bunch of red capsules. I bet those 48 hours were real unpleasant. So I don't trust oral drugs as a means of suicide. Too unpredictable.

For over 4 months, I've been dealing with depression plus suicidal ideation. I have no intention to off myself anytime soon. I'm not quite that hopeless. But the depression is oppressive. My hydrocodone tablets help a bit. I so want to up my daily use to what would make me feel a lot better. But then I would run out and have withdrawal to deal with.

Actual psych meds don't help me. Plus, it's not easy to get psych care. Unless you're on the verge of suicide and say that you are, no one cares. No one in my life, anyway. I'm not into melodrama.

 

[DesertHarp]

Like your hydrocodone helping a bit, my Alprazolam (legitimate) prescription helps a bit.
But I also TOO want to/wish I could up my dose to one that would relax me enough to take the suicidal thoughts away. I take 3mg day prescribed - 1mg x 3 but I do it all at once in the morning.

Obviously I’m lucky to have that, but I only got to that dose after being with my doctor for 12 years, starting in 2012 on just 0.5mg a day.

What dose of hydrocodone do you take?

I know it wouldn’t be sustainable but because I fill 2 days early each month, I have two days where I take 6mg and it’s major relief.

I think I do the same thing. I manage to fill it one or two days sooner each month. That way there is overlap, which gets me a few extra doses.

My Vicodin is 10/325. I get 60 tablets a month. Each tablet is precious. If I ever accidentally dropped one in the toilet, I believe I would fish it out, rinse it off and pop it in my mouth. (But only if it was my own toilet.)

 

[BK38]

I felt suicidal as fuck today. I've ordered some Kratom because I just don't think I can function without SOMETHING opiate-like and it's a week+ until I get my script for codeine (which I run through way too quickly anyways). I just found out my Kratom doesn't ship until Monday too...eugh. Paid for the fastest delivery possible too. Tempted to waste even more money on Phenibut hcl, but I know it's a recipe for disaster given my big benzo dependence (scripted too).

Told my mom I loved her and left the house, and I bought rope at a construction place to kms but threw it in the garbage on the way home and bought a bottle of wine worth a few digits (which I can't afford really), but fuck it, I'm alive.

 

[Madness]

@BK38 - this is such a shitty time of year for most everyone, hopefully these are passing feelings. Is this the first time you've been serious about that?

@AlphaMethylPhenyl - hey just wondering if you were effected by this season too.

 

[BK38]

@BK38 - this is such a shitty time of year for most everyone, hopefully these are passing feelings. Is this the first time you've been serious about that?

Probably the only time I've been this serious was when I was 19 and hopelessly addicted to heroin and came close to a suicide attempt. I don't know man, I feel so low atm.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

@BK38 - this is such a shitty time of year for most everyone, hopefully these are passing feelings. Is this the first time you've been serious about that?

@AlphaMethylPhenyl - hey just wondering if you were effected by this season too.

Yo!

Believe it or not I enjoy both warmer and colder weather, just in different ways. The warmer is pretty obvious, sunshine and not having to suit up and ability to go more places. No snow shoveling. No watching out for ice when I walk. Other people are in better moods.

In Winter though I like that people keep to themselves more. It makes me less anxious. There's a collective silence that really appeals to me. Have always been a polar bear, that said

I mean I take meds though. If I wasn't on those, oh how shitty every day would be.

 

[Madness]

@BK38 - have you a doctor over where you are?

 

[BK38]

@BK38 - have you a doctor over where you are?

Yeah, I have a psychiatrist that only speaks French. I really need an English speaking therapist, but they're all expensive/far away. I don't have a GP because there's a "doctor desert" where I am.

Just in a tough spot rn, poor health, benzo addiction etc. Isolated, in my head a lot and feel like my prospects are bleak.

 

[Madness]

Looking toward the Equinoxe de Printemps. Do you have things to do during the day?

@BK38