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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Tell a shit joke

Bloke is having sex with a prostitute when he starts suckling on her chest. Much to his surprise he gets a warm mouthful.
He looks up at her and says "Gee, I would have thought you were too old to give milk!"
She says "I am, but I'm not too old to have cancer."



How do you know ET is a scouser?

He looks like one
 
I went yo the doctors the other day and told him
"I feel like a pack of cards"




He said
"I'll deal with you later"
 
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Sam remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth three times, flossed twice times and on top of that, gargled Listerine. As he arrived at the dentist he sucked on two strong mints. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident and relaxed, Sam opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough and said "Sam, did you have 69 before you came here...?" "Errr... why?" asked Sam "Does my breath smell like pussy?" "No" The dentist replied "Your forehead smells like shit!"
 
garbagegutz said:
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Sam remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth three times, flossed twice times and on top of that, gargled Listerine. As he arrived at the dentist he sucked on two strong mints. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident and relaxed, Sam opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough and said "Sam, did you have 69 before you came here...?" "Errr... why?" asked Sam "Does my breath smell like pussy?" "No" The dentist replied "Your forehead smells like shit!"
Click to expand...



Reminds me of a story from my younger days, only without the 69 and a lot more shit.. But that's a story for another time..
 
Two suicideal perverts are standing at the top of a cliff looking out to sea and the rocks below.


One turns to the other and says "your thinking about tossing your self off aren't you"
 
I pulled my cock out of this fat girls arse, then she turned over, spread her legs revealing her sweaty, hairy minge and said "are you going to eat that"

"Your pussy" I asked, disgusted!

"Not that" she replied, pointing at the sweet corn on my knob.
 
Someone asked me if i wanted some Rosé wine last night, i said "no thanks, have you got any Rose-B instead?"
 
What do you do if you see a ginger man lying on the road bleeding?

NSFW:

Stop laughing and reload.
 
After my wife died, I couldn't even look
at another woman for almost 10 years
But now I'm out of jail, I can honestly
say it was worth it
 
My wife told me women were better at
multi tasking than men. So I told her to
sit down and shut up. Guess what, she
couldn't do either.
 
Where's the best place to find out information about spiders?





On the web!
 
I knew a set of triplets, named Tot, Tet and Tat.
Tot and Tet were massive guys, but Tat was absolutely tiny; so I asked him why he was so much smaller than his twin brothers.

"That's easy; when we were babies Tet and Tot were breast-fed, but there was no tit for Tat"
 
click on my profile, then click search latest posts by user




shit joke galore
 
A cowboy gets marched into the jail wearing brown paper shoes, brown paper socks, brown paper trousers, brown paper pants, a brown paper shirt and a brown paper hat.

The other guy in there looks up and says: "What you in here for, partner?"

"Rustling"
 
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