Just like the title says..
I have been dealing with depression for all of my adult life, I am 22. I have been depressed since I was 9 years old. It hasn't gotten better, it has gotten worse, and lately has turned more severe. I can barely get out of bed in the afternoon. It's not about getting out of bed in the morning, it's about getting out of bed before 5 pm. This is not healthy, and I know this...
I have tried all sorts of different medications, I have been through therapy many times, I have been hospitalized twice. I have tried to commit suicide a couple times.
I figured out a couple years ago what helps with this depression.. opiates. When I am on opiates everything is better. IT's the ONLY thing that works.
I had a period of time where I was a heroin addict, and I have been on methadone, but am now off. I have been clean for a couple months and I can say 100% that I felt waaaay better when I was on heroin, oxy, vicodin, methadone, ANY opiate.. than when I am clean.
Suboxone doesn't work as well as these other opiates, but when I take it, it curbs my depression to the point where I feel almost like a normal person. I feel fine when I'm on suboxone.
I have never been on subs for a long time. The longest I have been on them was a week. Although it helped then, I don't know if it would continue to help with my depression over a long period of time...
..but I'm thinking of giving Suboxone-maintenance a try as a way to relieve my resistant depression. If I were to do this, I would stay on it for the rest of my life. I have also considered getting back on methadone for the rest of my life too, but I figure subs would be a better alternative because the addiction potential is not nearly as high.
I know that I will become dependent on the subs if I choose to do this, but I am starting to think that it just might be worth it... I'm tired of hating everything, and not being able to talk to people, and not caring about fucking anything.
What do you think? (keep in mind I don't care about being addicted to something, I consider being addicted to a medication, but being free of depression a far better alternative than not being able to get out of bed for the rest of my life.. keep that in mind posters.)