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Still having healthy relationships using speed

J

Justhavingfun20172

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2017
Messages
24
I understand that alot of doing meth is mental, but ever since I've been using almost everyday my relationship with the people in my household has took a major hit. My baby nieces that live with me used to be almost literally attached to my hip. But the other night I had a really bad episode and everybody in my house found out I was using again. I don't use in the house nor do I bring anything in the house out of respect for my family. Now it's like I feel they have lost respect for me. Also since I've been using I'm not as happy around my family, because I'm always focused on what ever my mind is focusing on (you know how meth is. I blame this on the anxiety I get when I use. Basically meth or any drug is not worth relationships. I obviously am not strong enough in the mind to do the drug and not let the drug do me. If you must use don't be like me, know your body and don't allow yourself to get worn down or get so high that you can't connect with your family or friends in a genuine way. Has anybody else gone thru what I'm going thru?
 
I was a pretty shitty person when I was still using, I didn't see people for thier good qualities, I saw how i could twist them to my purposes. I literally lost myself in the dope.
 
I just feel like i don't enjoy doing the things with the kids like I do when I'm sober. I know it's not the drug, it's a problem with me. Man how meth puts you mind where it will make you or break you.
 
It most definitely is the drug. You weren't like that before it obviously. And I've never seen meth make a person better, it always ends the same, just a matter of how long it takes
 
^ Yeah, it is the drug. Empathy tends to tank after a while of using, which can make one seem more callous, selfish and manipulative than they might otherwise be.
 
Yeah I definitely know I am acting different. It really brings out the weird self-conscious side of me. I believe it's just who I am, maybe I'm wrong. I believe it's because I havr a long way to go to reach my goals. Anyway if I can't handle it I will stop, but I'm still gonna use and still be the best father/uncle/brother/son I can be. No matter what, as long as God allows, I will build a legacy for my family and really be there for my family. Please don't close this post.
 
Man I really wish you luck. Not many people can do those things whole using meth all the time.
 
Actually change of thought. I really don't like meth because of the way it provokes anxiety and makes me sick. It also brings out the hypocondria. How can I be really there for my family and friends when I'm always worried about stupid shit that shouldn't even cross my mind. So I told my friend that I don't want anymore and I am going to get back on track because to be honest the past two weeks I haven't been to the gym, lost my girl friend, lost some respect from my family, and seems like I've been having chest congestion almoust the whole time. Sick, tired, wired, and really this drug kinda sucks ass.
 
Glad you're smarter than me, it took me losing everything to figure that out. Tbh man they're your family they love you, show them youre making an effort to get clean.
 
I don't enjoy meth it's definitely not a drug for my anxious/paranoid personality. Don't get me wrong a lil line with a girlfriend once in a blue moon but only to have amazing sex. But not when I'm with family or work,because of the way it disconnects me from everybody and puts me in my own world. Today I bought my neices new shoes at the mall amd got my sons name tattooed on me. Now that friends feels alot better than doing any drug. In my opinion if you feel the drug is faking you too far away from your family and friends it's not worth it. Tramdols effect me in a good way, its a drug I can do and still fulfill my purpose in life.
 
Change of thought again. Tramadols make me sick, drugs just suck ass for real. Everytime I think I found a drug for me it proves to me that it has more negative side effects than positive. I just know that the year pf 2018 I will be the best father/uncle/brother that I can be with the kids. I just love myself and my family too much to destroy my life on drugs.
 
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