Starting down a dark path

[Xorkoth]

Hello everyone that was involved in this thread many years ago.. This is my first time on here sinse then and i wish i could have turned the other way as i was directed to.. I have sinse went from posting this thread on a computer at work in a gym to catching many charges, been to jail many times, lost the relationship i was in who was the love of my life, my father who was an alcoholic has sinse died from his drinking, lost plenty of jobs, lost my physical health, contracted hep c, have gone through and lost 2 years of sobriety and being a strong model in the rooms.. I remembered i made a post the first week i tried heroin and was scared about my future.. Well here i am almost 7 full years later. I am still alive however i couldnt have imagined my life to go the way it has excluding the warnings i wish i had heeded on here as a 19 year old.. I am 25 now and am laying in bed starring at the ceiling with despare.. Oh how i loathe to be able to go back.. Crazy to think how much has changed and how different my life is compared to back then.. Anybody recall this thread from those many years ago?

I saw this thread for the first time just now, and read through it. What a sad post this is, but also, I was going to be surprised if it didn't go this way. Opiates are fucked up, man. But, as others have said here, you're young. Yeah things are fucked up, but you can change things about your life if you really fucking try and take it step by step. I was an opiate addict for 10 years, it took me a while to get really bad but by the end I hated myself, I was crushingly depressed, and I fully believed I was never going to be able to stop, I'd tried so hard so many times... I wanted to die every day. But I got out of a bad situation in my life that was causing me to cover it with opiates, and I worked on tapering down, and a couple of months later I did ibogaine and I literally have not had to even struggle to not take another opiate since then (4 years ago). At the end of the experience I just felt like, wow, I'm free, I need to start being healthy and getting involved in things I love. So I did do that, I started working out, eating right and I started playing music again, and started spending a lot of time with like-minded people and making really good friends. I am truly free, which I wouldn't have even believed before I made it happen. You CAN do it, but you really have to believe that you can. The moment you allow yourself to doubt it, the cycle renews.

Hang in there. Try to think about things in your life that aren't working for you, or are causing you pain (besides the heroin). How can those things be removed from your life or be resolved? Try to choose something to tackle and work on it. Then work on something else. Sometimes you just have to make changes. Think about what you love doing that makes you feel happy and inspired. If nothing does now, what did when you were young? Work on pursuing that. When your life is going better, getting off opiates and more importantly, staying off, is easier.

I wouldn't wish opiate addiction on my worst enemy, it was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. Every day was abject misery and self-loathing and despair. But once I got past it, I realized that my lowest day without opiates is a thousand times better than the highest high I would get after taking my opiate of choice while I was badly addicted. I made it out and I was addicted for longer than you have been so by 3 years, that's proof it's possible.

Ibogaine really was a miracle for me, I believe I could have done it on my own eventually but it was pretty life-changing, I came out of the experience feeling so strong. It's worth a consideration.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Get out while you can. The longer you use, the withdrawals become horrific and it becomes much harder to stop. If you can't do it on your own, tell someone it will be worth it and get help.

I just cold turkey detoxed off a 5 year habit and it was the worst experience of my life. I didn't get physically addicted badly for 18 months. Then I couldn't get the fuck out of bed for at least 10 days. It has taken everything from me and now it is like my life has been hit by a hurricane. I was sniffing not shooting as well. Seriously, you really need to either quit on your own or ask for help. You are dealing with Satan here. It might seem like it now, but you really can't tell in advance how hard you can fall. I have to relearn a lot of things that used to be easy for me. Eventually you don't even get high anymore. I just sucked it up and quit cold turkey so if I can do that after 5 years of use, you can do it now before it's too late. Also, the shit can kill you, you're risking your life with every shot. I speak from experience; please stop. There are lots of options and you need to find out if there is an underlying reason why you are using such an evil drug.

You're already addicted in my opinion and you have a huge problem on your hands. The physical part will arrive soon if you don't change your ways and then you will be full of regret over a stupid fucking hit.