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So what really IS your goal? Short term and ultimately?

Nixiam

Nixiam

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Feb 20, 2016
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For me, I've kind of come to the realization that I don't want to kill myself. I want everything to be okay, you know? My short term goal is to do well in school, my long term goal is to do well for myself. I've got to take one more class before I am a certified welder, and one more class before I'm a certified carpenter.

Then college.
 
My goal is a painless suicide and my long term goal even though I think it's about to happen soon is to get out before the full on environmental crash and death of much if not all of humanity. That shit's going to be ugly. If you don't believe it's around the corner check this out.
 
My short- and long-term goals are the same. I want to be the best person I can be and through my contributions (music, writing, friendship, etc) I want to help make the world a better place. I want to expose as many people as possible to my "thing" and I hope that that exposure facilitates the maximum amount of positivity and understanding as it can.

I mean I have concrete goals as well but they're just there to help me towards the end game. For example I've got a plan to get a variety of additional musical equipment to round out my sound and capabilities.
 
I started to write walking around without a plan with a donkey and a dog for companions but in reality that is more of a persistent fantasy than a concrete goal. Being on the downhill side of the age range of humans I guess I think more in terms of pursuits than goals, if that makes sense. I just want to keep on walking through all this with open eyes and an open heart. On the days when I manage to do that, I'm filled to the brim with emotion.

Nix, I think that is great that you are going to be certified as a welder and carpenter. Those are two skills I'd love to have.
 
Be happy and try to be kind to your fellow man. You dont have to be nice, just dont be an asshole. Thats my goal. Fuck years from now. Who knows. Its. Ome out different through the years everytime.
 
My short term goals are to try to stay balanced, to deal with the ups and downs that I constantly go through.

My long term goals are to try and become the person I truly am inside (my higher self) and be able to live as this person all the time, not one moment gloomy, angry and overly frustrated/stressed and the next over excited and just a little too happy for my own good, I want to find balance, become a gentle warm, kind person, capable of deep understanding and compassion for my fellow humans.

At the moment that last part seems impossible, I'm way too cynical, when I look around at most people I'm so extremely disappointed in what direction most are going, a lot of people are just so extremely stupid and ignorant by choice.They just act without thinking, just plain stupidity all over.Some people do give me a lot of hope though, it's all so double...

But maybe as I get older I can deal with these frustrations a lot better and judge people as they really are.I'm often scared of myself though, the things that go through my mind sometimes are quite disturbing, the amount of unique torture methods I allow myself to fabricate, as a way of mental entertainment are probably not too healthy, I've mentally wasted way too many people, which is going straight against the person I'd like to become, this duality must end, I just hope I'll manage to do that some day. :)

(Not that I'd ever want to actually do the things I think about, not at all, it's just a way to vent my frustrations, I'd rather kill myself first before actually hurting someone else)

Getting older seems to work out for me, I tend to cope better with things the older I get.
 
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Well, good goals! Something you should I work towards is nkt allowing my thoughts to become disturbing.

I quite think a lot of us have those.
 
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I've read somewhere that all people fantasize about murder sometimes, I guess in a way it's even healthy, better to do it in your head than climbing in a bell tower and start sniping the shit out of random people.
 
For most of my life, any time I try to have goals they don't really work out as planned, and not from lack of trying. So I've learned that it's better for me to practice ways of being rather than set concrete objectives.

I would like to work on being OK with the world, with fostering more positivity within myself and in my life, have a greater connection to what I consider God to be, to be true to myself and where I'm at. I'd like to let go of fears and anxiety more and more. I'd like to contnue amplify my shadow aspects that still need to be brought into awareness and integrated, so that there are fewer foils and sabotages in my life.

More mundanely... I'd like to travel, have more laughs, and be lighter with people. I'd enjoy having a greater sense of community and being understood for who I am within that community. I'd love to be a prominent figure of healing in said community because that's really the only service I'm good at and care to do in this lifetime.

They're not goals I can really set but they're things that I can look for in my life and choose to place focus on.
 
Foreigner said:
More mundanely... I'd like to travel, have more laughs, and be lighter with people. I'd enjoy having a greater sense of community and being understood for who I am within that community.
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Ultimately, this.

I've spent the last two years focusing purely on work and earning money, lost contact with many people and in the process connection to myself.. eventually slipping into a deep depression. I ended up burning out and quit work, now with so much time on my hands I'm realizing how much I used work and earning money as a crutch for the emptiness in my life.

Before this I had been traveling overseas for a while and towards the end I struck up a relationship with a girl I met and was welcomed into her family, it wasn't to last but the sense of belonging I felt at the time really had an impact on me. After these last couple of years of social isolation, work and money the importance of community/family has really been brought to my attention. I miss it dearly, and I miss travel. I feel like I've been sleep walking through life for years and I need to wake up.
 
nygiants1313 said:
Short term goal : kill myself

Long term goal: rot
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I don't know about you but rotting is a drag. I have the same goals but I prefer the short term goal. Just waiting for that proverbial perfect storm. Best of luck to you with your goals.

I'm at the end of a long life so of course my goals are not one of youthful folly.
 
These answers are super interesting. I would read into it as being melodramatic if it was any other community/forum, but I feel like everyone is being pretty straightforward. I've definitely thought about suicide and other stuff, and I've always thought I could never do it w/ the parents still kicking-- too much of a pain for them and guilt for me.

Anyways, short-term goal is to be nicer to myself, and tone down the amount of things that I do and try to control my habits a bit more, and eventually get to a more stable mental place. Long-term goals are to just survive my 20's cuz I think stuff will settle down eventually and I just have to wait out the storm. Depression is in part the arrogance of thinking that you've projected into the future and know for certain there is no possibility for change. That idea def saved me at some point. Why do I think I'm such a genius that I can calculate it all out and know for certain that in 6 months or 6 years there won't be something that will happen to me, or that I will do that will make it all worth it. You just don't know. So use the thoughts of suicide to get you through the nite, and just try again tomorrow.
 
To be happy. I've only felt happy a few times in my life and one of them was in a dream.
 
rmikhail said:
Age != maturity, but why do you need the perfect storm to kill yourself?
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Death anxiety or the fear of impermanence. Most successful suicides take years to complete the act from most of what I've read and I've read a lot on this subject. They/we need to work up the courage to overcome fear. Fear whether it be guilt trips from society, religion. family etc. or just never being anymore. There are a lot of people on this site that are talking suicide. They are in great pain, emotional or physical and often have been for a very long time. Yet year after year most hang on. Fear of the unknown not to mention just the physical instinctual animal drive to live. Schopenhauer called it "will" and said all living things are driven by it.
 
Cosmic Trigger said:
Death anxiety or the fear of impermanence. Most successful suicides take years to complete the act from most of what I've read and I've read a lot on this subject. They/we need to work up the courage to overcome fear. Fear whether it be guilt trips from society, religion. family etc. or just never being anymore. There are a lot of people on this site that are talking suicide. They are in great pain, emotional or physical and often have been for a very long time. Yet year after year most hang on. Fear of the unknown not to mention just the physical instinctual animal drive to live. Schopenhauer called it "will" and said all living things are driven by it.
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This is very true. I appreciate your thoughts on suicide, and I've come to the same conclusions.
 
Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. I often feel like the bad guy in these discussions. I've posted this before but just in case you missed it this is one of my favorite little writings on suicide. I have a feeling you'd really like Schopenhauer. He's by far my favorite philosopher and not just because he's easy to understand.=D He's nailed the human condition imo.


https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/pessimism/chapter3.html
 
Nixiam said:
1. If there is an afterlife

2. He can't go through with it in the first place.

I feel the same way.
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Yup, this is it exactly. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I can imagine (because of how self important I am - sorry, I'm young) the exact moment when they hear about it and there would be no way for them not to settle on the belief that they had failed me in some way. That would be a monstrous thing to do.

After they pass though... I mean... it's a pretty simple calculation you can make at any point in your life. I don't think it'll ever happen, but there are a set of circumstances where it would be a pretty reasonable call to just end it early. I don't know.
 
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