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She had a convo with my mother about us. Can I get her back?

A

Andrew508

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
24
So my gf broke it off with me a 3 weeks ago because I wasn't around her as much as she needed. We'd fight a lot about it. Me saying I'm around a lot and doing the best I can. Broughte back 3 times. But recently maybe she just got tired of it. She really is in love with me and told me 2 months into being together. She'd also get emotional when we fought, like she wanted to be with me. Recently my mother and her messages each other. ( My mother loved her after me bringing her around to meet her multiple times). She told my other we broke up cause I wasn't around as much as she wanted me to, and that "he's a really great guy that will find a girl that's less needy as her."
My mother told her about my past and how bad I dealt with a divorce when I was younger and other things blah blah. She told my mother that she feels awful, I'm assuming about what she read. My mother thinks if I think this in the one for me to keep trying, and to send a message just saying "thinking of you and wanted to say hi see how things are going" nothing mushy.
Is this that way to go after what just happened? After over 3 weeks I really think this is the girl for me. And trying to change for her. What should I do?
 
She wanted to see me a lot, like 7 days a week. That's why she referred to herself as "needy".
It's been almost a month since I last saw her and thinking everyday I know that she's the one I want to be with.
Tonight I was invited from another friend to join everyone out to eat for dinner. I meet her through the same friends going out tonight. I was told that she knows I'm going, and is fine with the fact we're going to be in the same room together. I know when were at the resturant to act like myself and not bring up anything.
What do I do? I still have a good amount of feelings for this woman.
A few people told me to send nice friendly messages once in a while saying " thinking of you" or bring up something nice from the past when we were out together like " remember when..... .. I just say it or I just did it again and it reminded me of you. That ok to do?
 
In the resturant I noticed she still cared for me. Was staring at me during the night. Was twirling her hair a lot out of nervesness or something. Later I open my arms for a hug and she followed. I said "hope to see you again" but no response.
During the dinner I invited everyone to my house for dinner, her included. I'll see I she actually shows up. I'd like to get her back and work on stuff, not looking for someone's else right now that's not what I asked .
 
hmm 7 days a week is needy but if you want a partner for life you need some you can get along with all the time
 
Yeah she said she was needy. I mean I get along with her just fine when were having a good time with each other. I was invited to go out for dinner and she came too knowing I was going too. She kept staring at me. So I'm sure there is still feelings.
 
pofacedhoe said:
hmm 7 days a week is needy but if you want a partner for life you need some you can get along with all the time
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7 days a week is a lot at the beginning of a relationship. I mean, once you've been dating for a while, it's reasonable, like if you live together. But if you don't live together, I can't imagine seeing someone seven days a week. That's a LOT!
 
llama112 said:
7 days a week is a lot at the beginning of a relationship. I mean, once you've been dating for a while, it's reasonable, like if you live together. But if you don't live together, I can't imagine seeing someone seven days a week. That's a LOT!
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True, but it's been almost three weeks since we broke it off and I feel like I can do that like I should of.
She came out dinner with a bunch of friends knowing I was going too. It was great to see her again. I acted normal said nothing about breaking up. She was looking at me a lot and twirling her hair which never did. So I don't know, I feel like she has feelings still. Maybe I'm dumb wanting this girl who wants to be around me a lot, but I'd do anything for her.
 
Andrew508 said:
True, but it's been almost three weeks since we broke it off and I feel like I can do that like I should of.
She came out dinner with a bunch of friends knowing I was going too. It was great to see her again. I acted normal said nothing about breaking up. She was looking at me a lot and twirling her hair which never did. So I don't know, I feel like she has feelings still. Maybe I'm dumb wanting this girl who wants to be around me a lot, but I'd do anything for her.
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Talk to her about it. Try and get her to understand that you can't do 24/7 and that you need to have a life of her own. And that she needs to have her own life too.
 
You should tell your mother to stay out of your intimate relationships.

And the girl needs to learn to stand on her own two feet, something you would sabotage by fitting to her "needs".
 
llama112 said:
Talk to her about it. Try and get her to understand that you can't do 24/7 and that you need to have a life of her own. And that she needs to have her own life too.
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Yeah. She said she's "needy" by saying to my mother which I had no idea about that since I don't live with her that "im a great guy who is going to find someone less needy as her"
I'll be calling her tomorrow to see if she's going to join everyone at my house for dinner. Plus I want to see if she blocked my number on her phone also. I have this funny feeling I'm blocked. I sent two texts withing a 2 week spand saying just thinking of her , and that It was good to see her at the dinner last week. I wasn't expecting anything, but no response from the both of them. Not even a " stop texting me" or " leave me alone".
I hoping she got them , instead of being blocked
 
421 said:
You should tell your mother to stay out of your intimate relationships.

And the girl needs to learn to stand on her own two feet, something you would sabotage by fitting to her "needs".
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How do you think I would of sabotaged that by filling her needs? I feel maybe it just would of helped my situation.
 
Because what she really needs is to become an independent adult. Even if that comes with growing pains. Not a reliance/dependance on you, or anyone else but herself.

Helped your situation? If you mean you'd still be together, well then yeah. But eventually she would have just drained you of all your energy leaving you nothing but an empty shell. And then moved on to the next victim.
 
421 said:
Because what she really needs is to become an independent adult. Even if that comes with growing pains. Not a reliance/dependance on you, or anyone else but herself.

Helped your situation? If you mean you'd still be together, well then yeah. But eventually she would have just drained you of all your energy leaving you nothing but an empty shell. And then moved on to the next victim.
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No she's deff not like that. Every bf she's had (except me ) cheated on her. She would never do that. I feel like she's scared from all that.
 
While it doesn't justify their actions, as they should have manned up and ended the relationship before going elsewhere, a reoccurring pattern like that (seriously, every bf...) implies some ownership on her behalf and just reinforces my view.

But by all means, get back together and learn the hard way. Sometimes it's the only way. Who knows, maybe you'll both grow and become better people. Live happily ever after and all that. But it won't happen with the attitude you're displaying now.
 
Ok, what do you think my attitude is about this?
We're both going to see each other with having the same friends that we hangout with, so yes I would like to have us work on it if she really says she loves me like she did 2 months in.
 
Well for 1 I appreciate the quick responses.
And just hoping to see if there's just a tad bit of hope, cause I feel like I was great to her other than being around everyday. Treated her with respect, and did a lot of things she liked.
 
I was thinking of sending a text once a week, not all the time just saying "hi an thinking of you" or something on the lines of that. Let her know she's always being thought of
 
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