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Seeing the truth, knowing the truth, believing the lies

Update:

We are in acute w/d.... originally taper method but the cut was too big a step and he went into withdrawals. Bad.

We are on day 3/4ish... not sure when the w/d actually started, someone Sunday morning or Saturday night.

It's fentanyl abuse, this one came as a shocker. I guess he swore to never go back on the heroin and found this as a replacement. That scares me, e are in florida and the over dose deaths from fentanyl are up 250%. My brother n law died of fentanyl od in February. Anyways, he hasn't taken a thing or left the house at all. I feel like giving him a diazepim or alprazolam would be beneficial. Or possibly otc sleep aid.
 
Today is day 4 ...that's how I'm calling it. He feels an urge to eat , Tiny bit. Asking for ensure,which is perfect imo! It's been 2 days cold turkey and the 1st 2 days were 80mg then 50mg percs for the entire dayscene. My heart hurts seeing this,but I can't help but feel elated. I see a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! I'm going to have my bf back, probably 100% by the new year!! We will celebrate with sobriety!! & family.
 
dopemaster said:
So you gonna shit or get off the pot, So to speak?

You gonna leave the moron who can't control his drug use and doesn't care about anyone, even himself.

He is toxic. It will kill you emotionally if not physically.

Try looking at it like this: He wasn't who you thought he was so there is nothing lost there
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jeeez.. i wouldn't like to have u as a friend, you've called him a moron, scum, etc.. and u hardly know anything about him
i know it was stupid of him to drive onit.. and the lies r not good, but if u ever have used heroin then u know lying is something u do to protect yourself and others, thats how u justify it anyhow, it is wrong though as b74 seems really sympathetic to the situation, but please @b74, don't leave just yet.. give him a little time and explain its the lies that u can't take.. he may still keep lying as he's worried he will loose u for good cause u left your husband for the same reasons..
 
Broken74 said:
Today is day 4 ...that's how I'm calling it. He feels an urge to eat , Tiny bit. Asking for ensure,which is perfect imo! It's been 2 days cold turkey and the 1st 2 days were 80mg then 50mg percs for the entire dayscene. My heart hurts seeing this,but I can't help but feel elated. I see a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! I'm going to have my bf back, probably 100% by the new year!! We will celebrate with sobriety!! & family.
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please don't get your hopes up, herion use is a relapsing condition, i don't know anyone that has come off first try or 2nd..and i know a lot of users..it sounds like u really love each other, but u got to ask yourself, can u really handle the rollercoaster of using and quiting, over n over as its most likely that he will use again n again for a bit yet, but he may suprise and give it up but thats very very slim

A user can hide their habit quite well if he is not living with u permantly, and you'll know all about it if he is in WD's believe me..

if he is still using his pupils will be dots, and if he is nodding out, it isn't because he is tired, its because he is using!!!

I hope u can come to some sort of understanding, as u both seem to love each other very much, and i'm a sucker for love..
 
Thank you Z, I have thought on that..the roller coaster and relapse possibilities. Can I do this long term, back and forth? 100% no. He's in recovery stages right now, I'm here for him. My heart is in deep, has been from the beginning. I personally can not go through this again. I'm here for him now, want to be here forever. On that same token, if he uses again, I will probably quietly slip out of his life. I'm in a very good place with things, just finished building my credit score up after years of slow n steady work, about to get into some part time college classes, property manager for 2 dozen rentals (that's side work for me ), plus my main job in admin duties. Also, things at home with my family are in a place where my boys are men now, working and soon to be on their own..all but my youngest who is the light of my life. He's never going to be exposed to this as long as I have a say. It's been difficult having to take time from home to supervise this recovery , if I can save a life and have my loves I will do anything to try. But I do feel like this cost things from me (ive never given john a dime, I'm self sufficient and will not invest financially into someone in that lifestyle) but it has taken something even more valuable, my time ...from me...from my son...also my inner happiness and I'm the typical mood Lightener, lifted spirits, carefree type of person. I self analyze alot, I know that I've been depressed and I know the one way to fix that is to focus on me and my son(s). John will be out on his own in the world and work force, facing his demons soon, it will be his choice how he handles them. I can't follow him around and do it for him. I'm giving him all that I can, including tools for furthering his recovery. At some point very soon, this will be all up to him. And john will choose his path of travel and I will choose mine. Hopefully he makes sound decisions and we walk that path together.
 
Broken74 said:
Thank you Z, I have thought on that..the roller coaster and relapse possibilities. Can I do this long term, back and forth? 100% no. He's in recovery stages right now, I'm here for him. My heart is in deep, has been from the beginning. I personally can not go through this again. I'm here for him now, want to be here forever. On that same token, if he uses again, I will probably quietly slip out of his life. I'm in a very good place with things, just finished building my credit score up after years of slow n steady work, about to get into some part time college classes, property manager for 2 dozen rentals (that's side work for me ), plus my main job in admin duties. Also, things at home with my family are in a place where my boys are men now, working and soon to be on their own..all but my youngest who is the light of my life. He's never going to be exposed to this as long as I have a say. It's been difficult having to take time from home to supervise this recovery , if I can save a life and have my loves I will do anything to try. But I do feel like this cost things from me (ive never given john a dime, I'm self sufficient and will not invest financially into someone in that lifestyle) but it has taken something even more valuable, my time ...from me...from my son...also my inner happiness and I'm the typical mood Lightener, lifted spirits, carefree type of person. I self analyze alot, I know that I've been depressed and I know the one way to fix that is to focus on me and my son(s). John will be out on his own in the world and work force, facing his demons soon, it will be his choice how he handles them. I can't follow him around and do it for him. I'm giving him all that I can, including tools for furthering his recovery. At some point very soon, this will be all up to him. And john will choose his path of travel and I will choose mine. Hopefully he makes sound decisions and we walk that path together.
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how is john doing ??
 
Pretty good, still clean. I'm amore worrying though. He has asked me for percs, I haven't given them to him and told him I'm not refilling my script when it runs out. We went out for karaoke last night, he started drinking and took several shots....alcohol had never been an issue, prior to this he would drink maybe once every few months and never in excess...so I didn't like seeing him over indulge, felt like he was trying to accomplish a high. Then later he kept asking for percs. At some point he finally went to sleep but those demons are trying to come out. I wasnt concerned about alcohol, but now I just don't know. Maybe it's not good for him to do anything that artifically alters his mood.
 
Many folk substitute poppy dependence for alcohol as an alternative means of escape. The alcohol may also lower his ability to withstand a lapse, so I'm not surprised he continued to ask for the Percocet. Please be careful - it sounds like you are actually getting somewhere! These periods can be transient and do not necessarily have to lead to a full blown back to square one. xxxx
 
steewith2ees said:
Many folk substitute poppy dependence for alcohol as an alternative means of escape. The alcohol may also lower his ability to withstand a lapse, so I'm not surprised he continued to ask for the Percocet. Please be careful - it sounds like you are actually getting somewhere! These periods can be transient and do not necessarily have to lead to a full blown back to square one. xxxx
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Thanks for following up Stees, that last line you wrote is something I needed to hear. In my mind...I'm thinking omg...if he takes a perc it's all over
 
Haha it's ok I do a touch of pro bono here and there x

Mainly because no body would be stupid enough to employ me to do anything any more =D
 
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