I'm tired of trying to be nice to people I shouldn't be.
I might be completely off track and wrong here, but just given the nature of the things you write in this thread, i can't help but wonder if perhaps there are narcissists/cluster B personality disordered people in your life, and if perhaps one or both of your parents (or just someone who was influential in your life growing up) suffer(ed) from narcissism/cluster B disorder(s).
To find out if there might be some validity to my hunch, you might try going on Youtube and watching some videos on Narcissists. See if any of the behaviors sound familiar.
If indeed your exposure to narcissists/similarly disordered persons began when you were quite young, this may be why you attract seemingly apathetic types, and why you have trouble setting boundaries that are healthy and good for you.
I sure hope I'm completely wrong, as dealing with narcissists can be a nightmare unless and until you become educated and aware of what exactly is going on with them, and how they make you feel crazy.
But, if you listen yio several videos on these types of abusive people (& know that there are both "overt" and "covert" narcissists - the overt type may be easier to spot because they typically can't help themselves from constantly and loudly proclaiming how incredible they believe they are {though this is all bullshit, really, as narcs are actually incredibly insecure and create a False Self via grandiose delusions to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy}, but the covert types can be harder to spot to the untrained eye, as they are well aware of what others think of them, and their Image is important yio them, so they are far mote manipulative, sneaky, and insidious with the ways they put you down.... The covert type can often be very abusive to you, and yet, to others looking in from the outside, due to the covert narcs methods, these outsiders might believe YOU to be the abusive one, and believe that the narc is a victim!!!! Talk about a mind-fuck!!!!)
Anyway, search youtube for phrases like "narcossists", and the word "narcissist" plus words like "gaslighting, triangulation, covert, abuse, smear campaign, manipulation, slander, scapegoat, codependent, projection, silent treatment" etc.
That should be a good start.
If you find yourself enthusiastically boding in agreement at what they talk about in the videos....you may want to investigate more deeply, to see if this is the true core issue of whats going on in your life.
Those raised by narcs may turn out to be narcs themselves, they may become the scapegoat of the family ("narcissist scapegoat" & "narcissistic supply" are also two FANTASTIC terms to search on youtube), they may go no contact with the family, they may suffer for years while bring blamed and slandered and be confused, etc.
It's worth looking into, even if the chance if only remote.
Because if you ARE surrounded by narcs and the like, learning about it will make things CRYSTAL CLEAR to you, and may save you YEARS of HELL.
Good luck, and as I stated, I really hope I'm wrong :/
Peace.