• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP wesmdow

I just found out about this today, and I'm absolutely gutted. :(:(:(

RIP Pierre. You were always brave enough to speak your mind. You probably never realised it, but you helped me to grow as a person. I hope wherever you are now, you can put your talents to use.

- Stu
 
Hannah Capps said:
Video Tribute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v53BY-wqa8s
Click to expand...

@ Hanna: Thank you for this video. I watched as much as I could...will watch the rest later today.

For the rest: By way of introduction, I am wesmdow/s1ck/Pierre's father. I have read this thread and many others in which Pierre posted and has been noted as missing.

Indeed, he is missed by me and his mother and sister and aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends and lovers. Though I am hurt in a way that only a father who has lost his only son can be, I am nonetheless very grateful to all of you who posted here and elsewhere with your condolences and kind words.

I'll not say more here than to thank you all from the bottom of my heart and hope that some lesson will be learned from this tragic loss.

I read this poem at Pierre's wake:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

--W.H. Auden

In reading though these forums, I realize that he helped many people here. My only regret is that he could not in the end help himself, or his family, who will miss him more than mere words will here convey. For what it's worth, though I feel that I did what I could to try and save him, it was clearly not enough.

For his sake and in his memory, I hope there are some of you out there who will attempt to save yourselves, if only for the sake of those who will forever love and miss you should you fail.

Finally, to all: If I can be of any help to anyone *serious* about quitting, please pm me and I'll respond to the best of my ability. If you are not *serious*, then I wish you good luck, but ask that you leave me in peace, thanks.
 
^^

My heart is with you and your family in these dark times. I hope that you can find peace.

Likewise, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to send a message. There are many ears here who are willing to listen.
 
I do remember reading a few of his posts, but I did not talk to him personally. He seemed like an awesome person and a true friend to a lot of people here and I hope he has found comfort in paradise.
 
I just realized I went to school with Pierre. I wasnt good friends with him, but smoked with him about a year ago. This is really sad. R.I.P Pierre
 
purplefirefly said:
^^

My heart is with you and your family in these dark times. I hope that you can find peace.

Likewise, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to send a message. There are many ears here who are willing to listen.
Click to expand...


Thanks, purplefirefly, for your kind words and good advice. Thanks also for trying to help, not just Pierre, but so many other troubled individuals. I've spent the past few days reading here, not just Pierre's posts, but many of the threads on the DS, where it seems, my natural bent leads me anyway.

As a moderator, and a particularly good one, (if I may indulge briefly in a bit of well-deserved praise) it seems that you might be able to help me decide how, or even if, I should participate in these forums to do the most good.

My motive for coming to BL, though it certainly involves finding meaning in Pierre's death, is more complex than a quest to find out what he was doing the night he died. No, it is more of a quest to discover myself in a curious and of course self-centered way. I think that I am looking for a way to recover from my loss and regain my sense of self-worth by helping--or at least trying to--others. Since Pierre thought so much of this community, it makes sense for me to join and try to help if I can.

Though I have no fears of doing battle with giants--even if they be windmills masquerading as towering terrors--I would last of all wish to contaminate Pierre's brief legacy with my own selfish quests.

Therefore, I ask you: is this folly? Should I, would I, be better off; would the readers of this forum be better off without being forced to endure the sad spectacle of me engaging in what surely appears to be an often-lost, if nonetheless noble battle?
 
Last edited:
Gr3yghost said:
Therefore, I ask you: is this folly? Should I, would I, be better off; would the readers of this forum be better off without being forced to endure the sad spectacle of me engaging in what surely appears to be an often-lost, if nonetheless noble battle?
Click to expand...


No way, is this folly. Many people knew Pierre, and next time a "I'm going to relapse" post comes up they probably won't listen to many of us. But I think that they might feel your pain, and understand your story, you have the capability to do more good than a lot of us on this board. You've suffered a loss no parent should have too, and in all honesty you've probably put yourself into one of the best situations you could for helping people that are trapped by addiction just like Pierre was, your story is very compelling. Enduring the "sad spectacle" is going to be nothing but beneficial to the readers of this board, it's a reality check that many of them need very badly.

My heart, and thoughts are with you and your family I'm sorry you had to endure the loss you did...

Stay strong!
 
^totally agreed - we need more ppl here who rnt just drug users and addicts to give us feedback on how it impacts on loved ones lives!
i think ur doing an honourable thing, joining our community - i wud hope if i had passed away due to my drug use that my mum (my dad definitely wudnt!) wud do the same thing
my sincerest condolences, greyghost - if u ever nd sumone to talk to, PM me
granted i hav never lost family to heroin, but 2 close friends and the best bf i ever had passed that way - i hope pierre has met them as i think they wud hav got on!
 
orml said:
No way, is this folly. Many people knew Pierre, and next time a "I'm going to relapse" post comes up they probably won't listen to many of us. But I think that they might feel your pain, and understand your story, you have the capability to do more good than a lot of us on this board. You've suffered a loss no parent should have too, and in all honesty you've probably put yourself into one of the best situations you could for helping people that are trapped by addiction just like Pierre was, your story is very compelling. Enduring the "sad spectacle" is going to be nothing but beneficial to the readers of this board, it's a reality check that many of them need very badly.

My heart, and thoughts are with you and your family I'm sorry you had to endure the loss you did...

Stay strong!
Click to expand...


Thanks orml, for your kind words and encouragement. I'll do my best to help others here and try to keep my pain and anger out of the way!

Peace.
 
drug_wench said:
^totally agreed - we need more ppl here who rnt just drug users and addicts to give us feedback on how it impacts on loved ones lives!
i think ur doing an honourable thing, joining our community - i wud hope if i had passed away due to my drug use that my mum (my dad definitely wudnt!) wud do the same thing
my sincerest condolences, greyghost - if u ever nd sumone to talk to, PM me
granted i hav never lost family to heroin, but 2 close friends and the best bf i ever had passed that way - i hope pierre has met them as i think they wud hav got on!
Click to expand...


Thanks dw, your kind words are most welcome and just what I needed. As I just said above, I'll do my best to help without adding to the pain if I can.

Peace.
 
Gr3yghost said:
Thanks, purplefirefly, for your kind words and good advice. Thanks also for trying to help, not just Pierre, but so many other troubled individuals. I've spent the past few days reading here, not just Pierre's posts, but many of the threads on the DS, where it seems, my natural bent leads me anyway.

As a moderator, and a particularly good one, (if I may indulge briefly in a bit of well-deserved praise) it seems that you might be able to help me decide how, or even if, I should participate in these forums to do the most good.

My motive for coming to BL, though it certainly involves finding meaning in Pierre's death, is more complex than a quest to find out what he was doing the night he died. No, it is more of a quest to discover myself in a curious and of course self-centered way. I think that I am looking for a way to recover from my loss and regain my sense of self-worth by helping--or at least trying to--others. Since Pierre thought so much of this community, it makes sense for me to join and try to help if I can.

Though I have no fears of doing battle with giants--even if they be windmills masquerading as towering terrors--I would last of all wish to contaminate Pierre's brief legacy with my own selfish quests.

Therefore, I ask you: is this folly? Should I, would I, be better off; would the readers of this forum be better off without being forced to endure the sad spectacle of me engaging in what surely appears to be an often-lost, if nonetheless noble battle?
Click to expand...

The pleasure is mine. :)

I think that there are many people on this board that would benefit from what you have to offer, to hear your story, and to know your feelings as a person who has lost a loved one. To make even one person rethink the path that they are heading down is a mission accomplished to me, one person who uses responsibly and in turn teaches others what they have learned. It's truly a tragedy to see anyone die from a drug related incident, so many times it could have been prevented.

I hope that you feel that this is a cause to stick with and I hope that you continue to post. The mission of Bluelight is that of Harm Reduction. Drug users cannot rely on the government to give accurate and helpful information and Bluelight truly fills that void.

Please stay, I certainly don't think that you would be doing your son a disservice by posting on this board, in fact, you may help to keep his memory alive.

Best wishes!
 
How awful! I hope you are at peace, wes. I guess an astute reminder of why boards such as these need to exist :(

Mods: Is this going to get moved to shrine?
 
I was reading through an old set of posts that Pierre made in Drug Culture and I found myself thinking that I miss him. I held him at quite a distance and I'm regretting it now. I'm regretting it so very much. :(
 
Tr1p said:
I heard about this a while ago, but didn't know if I wanted to post anything here.

Pierre, wtf.

Sorry for being such a hardass on you.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Tr1p, first of all for caring enough to post here, and second, for caring enough to be a hardass to/for/on Pierre.

I hope this doesn't come out sounding wrong, but, while I am so very gratefully and repeatedly moved beyonds words by all the tributes and kind words in this thread, keeping in mind what I've been told is our goal, 'harm reduction', your unflinchingly honest assessment of Pierre's foolish behavior has helped me more than you might know.

So again, to all who have posted in this thread I say*thanks*. There are simply too many individuals who've posted here and in other threads to thank you all one by one. Please know that even if I haven't told you so personally, your words have indeed been a comfort.

@the mods, thanks also for keeping this thread up for so long. I realize it's coming to it's natural end;) , but I am grateful for being allowed, in the last couple of weeks, to read and re-read the words of his many well-wishers as I come to terms with his death.

With the encouragement of so many, I hope to remain a part of this community and contribute positively whenever I can. As one observant poster advised, I should probably look past the Dark Side...ya think?;)

Peace,

Phillip
 
^ You should, but we'd love to have you keep posting here as well. :) As purplefirefly said, there are many people here that could benefit from what you can offer. Your experiences lend you a perspective that few here have and that's a very powerful way to reach people.

We'll keep this thread around for a little while longer as Pierre was such a well-known member of this community and it's still being responded to regularly. Eventually, it'll be moved to The Shrine, a forum for Bluelight members who have passed away. People will still be able to respond there as well.
 
Wow... I've been in jail/at a recovery house for quite a few months and only had one or two chances to log on since I got out of jail, and pierre im'ed me as soon as I got on and said hello to me.... Talked to him quite a bit in the past. Just moved back home and decided to look at TDS and saw this post... Can't believe it. Reminds me how serious this shit is, and hopefully it'll make me think twice before I make the dumb decsion to stick a needle in my arm again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top