I saw the post before it was censored and i'm as angry and embittered by this whole mess as anyone.
I took a couple of hours out just now to talk with a friend but this just hurts so bad. Even though I've only been around for a couple of years i felt I was growing closer to knock every day, especially over the last six months after i took a well needed break from drugs and began to interact with others in a much more positive way. I genuinely felt like 20 years from now ne and knock would be real strong freinds, still talking shit, still reading each other minds and probably still putting a few too many chems in our bodies than would be good for us.
I'm totally fucked. I'm a bit of man's man, inspite of being the biggest softy going at the same time, but i balled my fuckin eyes out for 30 mins straight when i read the news. I'm welling up now, and not being funny, but i just don't cry. its not something i do. This is gonna take so long for me to get over. I fuckin loved that guy to death man. Like I said earlier, I'm just glad i am off the bottle these days as god knows what i might have ended up doing tonght after i got the news had i then drowned my sorrows with a couple of bottles of vodka. I'm done, i can't do this anymore tonight.