hi all. This question is directed at heavy users.
To describe my psychedelic use; took acid for the first time at 16, tripped about 6 times in the next few years on shrooms, mescaline, and 2ci and -e. Between 18-19 I got in way overboard, tripping once a week for a few months and then 4-6 times a week for another month. The psychedelics were numerous amounts of al-lad, 2cb, lsd dmt, miprosin, lsa, mushrooms. It got to the point where my mind state didn't change while taking drugs, but I would continue to thanked them for their physiological and visual effects. During this time I became extremely estranged from reality, lost my home, kicked out of college, running thin on family and friends. I thought I had everything figured out, but when I came to any specific plan I was clueless. Oh her effects started showing, inability to finish sentences, 30 minute blank outs, paranoia, etc. Eventually, money ran out, drugs ran out, and after a couple nights on the street realized I had screwed up major.
I stopped tripping, got back on terms with my parents, got a job. It's been a year and a half and I've been able to function as a member of society, but am under extreme stress and constant anxiety. I feel alright on the surface but I'm constantly fighting back psychosis in the back of my mind. I wouldn't say that I'm depressed but I have very low confidence in my ability to progress my life. I can't relate to people, friends are now acquaintances, strangers completely alien. I can't think of anything without thinking of every single perspective, I can't hold opinions ore make decisions.
Has anybody that's been down this path and been able to regain a grip? I've made a lot of mistakes but I'm not a dumb guy and I feel like I can overcome this. Any advice would be appreciated
To describe my psychedelic use; took acid for the first time at 16, tripped about 6 times in the next few years on shrooms, mescaline, and 2ci and -e. Between 18-19 I got in way overboard, tripping once a week for a few months and then 4-6 times a week for another month. The psychedelics were numerous amounts of al-lad, 2cb, lsd dmt, miprosin, lsa, mushrooms. It got to the point where my mind state didn't change while taking drugs, but I would continue to thanked them for their physiological and visual effects. During this time I became extremely estranged from reality, lost my home, kicked out of college, running thin on family and friends. I thought I had everything figured out, but when I came to any specific plan I was clueless. Oh her effects started showing, inability to finish sentences, 30 minute blank outs, paranoia, etc. Eventually, money ran out, drugs ran out, and after a couple nights on the street realized I had screwed up major.
I stopped tripping, got back on terms with my parents, got a job. It's been a year and a half and I've been able to function as a member of society, but am under extreme stress and constant anxiety. I feel alright on the surface but I'm constantly fighting back psychosis in the back of my mind. I wouldn't say that I'm depressed but I have very low confidence in my ability to progress my life. I can't relate to people, friends are now acquaintances, strangers completely alien. I can't think of anything without thinking of every single perspective, I can't hold opinions ore make decisions.
Has anybody that's been down this path and been able to regain a grip? I've made a lot of mistakes but I'm not a dumb guy and I feel like I can overcome this. Any advice would be appreciated