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reevaluating my use of psychedelics again

I believe its chemical related. I used to believe all psychedelics where "the same" and effected everyone basically the same. Well, to my surprise and now from my tiny understanding of chemistry and how these compounds effect different receptors to different degrees its much more complex than what I initially thought.

I recently learned of a gentleman that got severe HPPD from tramadol. Yes tramadol, which is a synthetic opiod but seems to a have SNRI action. So I conclude that ALL psychedelics have the ablilty to cause HPPD. Of course frequency of use and dosage will have an impact of severity and how soon you may have it come on but point is I think any psychoactive substance even pharmaceuticals can have a semi/permanent effect on visual and emotional health. I don't think the two are directly linked as you can have visual issues with no emotional issues and visa versa, however we rely on our vision to maneuver ourselves through our world greatly. I think that any quick onset of distortion in ones vision can have a severe effect on emotional health.

Anyway Im convinced from subjective experience that psilocybin had no effect on my HPP but did have a HUGE effect on my emotional health. I used LSD very often before my bad trip but my frequnsy of mushroom use post HPP varied and I never put a cap on how often I used. I just used them when I was up for it. Mushrooms have ironically helped me cope through my emotional damage from HPP, to a degree where I no longer fear psychoactive substances albeit Im still careful with dosage and set/setting. I used to be reckless with this prior to my onset of HPP. Also Id like to add that my HPP seemed to be a result of an overdose of LSD which resulted in a bad trip causing a severe tramatic experience. My mushroom use had resulted in many bad trips, some very close or equally as terrifying as my LSD trips. In fact I don't find psilocybin to be anywhere near as recreational or "easy" as LSD. LSD was very forgiving and controllable for me until I reached severe doses. Im more likely to have uncomfortable experiences on mushrooms but Im also more likely to have long lasting symptoms from LSD even if the experience was glowing, as I now found out.

I was not diagnosed with either PTSD or HPPD. However I had all the symptoms of both. I was not "crazy" but I lived in an extreme state of fear thinking LSD could be anywhere. I even worried about canned food being dosed with it. I lost a lot of weight fearing to consume anything, flashbacks, nightmares, DP/DR was severe. As far as HPPD. I saw pseudo hallucinations constantly(holograms if eyballs and geometric patterns), my depth pereception was distorted, long tracers off of any moving object. Faces morphing in the sidewalk. This lasted years. I was left with some visual snow which never went away but it was negligible. Also darker objects appear "electric". Now I just have very thick static, and afterimages got worse, which actually appeared after my recent synthetics indulgence.
 
Well that sufficiently sucks. I was a bit worried about people poisoning me too. It was like any casual thought would gain prominence. I have enough problems.
 
Sorry I tend to type faster than I think, and I have a lot to say. reading my last post I see how it may be difficult to understand what I was trying to get across.

My use of mushrooms only began post LSD and post HPP. I have used them form low to high-ish doses and havnt noticed any effects on vision but I have noticed positive emotional change regardless of glowing or bad experiences.

I feel that ALL psychoactives can induce lasting perceptual change however for me mushrooms have not had this effect.

From my recent use of synthetics, I have noticed increased visual distortion but it has no effect on my emotional health that I can notice. I guess Im used to my vision changing abruptly. I would like for it to not get any worse but I find this to be fighting an uphill battle as floaters, visual static and night vision increase as we age. I wont ever know if its a result of my use of drugs or just a natural aging process. I probably see myself continuing to use entheogens until there is definitive evidence that they are toxic. Even if they are found to be damaging I will then attempt to use the safest ones as I strongly feel that they have benefits for me. Much in the same way there are numerous medications which are damaging and have side effects in someways but are greatly medicinal in others.

I just think now that Im older I need to use them with less frequency until proven otherwise.
 
Toxic is a funny term. I know what you mean though and the terms that best suit what you mean to say are reversible and non-hazardous.

I don't plan on going through the list of all psychoactives but suspect most are at least moderately toxic.

Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) and psilocybin do have an interesting relationship going on and I get that regaining control over psilocybin would be cathartic perhaps, releasing some negative energies wrapped up in LSD
 
Yes pmoseman, I agree its toxic has different meaning to different people. But when I think of toxic I think of something that damages beyond repair and has no healthful value.

I know and I think I have a clear understanding of your position on psychoactives and the harm that they may bring. I used to feel that they were harmless but after personal experience and through others anecdotal experiences I find that this is untrue. Yes entheogens can be harmful, and quite possibly the most damaging substances. If you damage your emotional stability you damage everything. your state of being is your everything, its your foundation. I feel people can gain a lot from these compounds but everyone should tread carefully and whether atheist or not you must either understand the effect these drugs have on the spirit. When I say spirit I mean it loosely , and Im referring to ones "being". Im pretty much agnostic personally, but mushrooms in particular have given me insight on a possibility of the divine, but that's a whole different discussion.

Yes I like that you say that about mushroom /LSD relationship. Mushrooms are more spirit healing but the polar opposite is possible with them. It was cathartic. In fact whats VERY interesting is that, something profound happened the day I decided to try a small dose mushrooms; My HPP was a result of emotional trauma (at least to a degree) because when I came off of the mushroom trip I felt cleansed and for the first time IN FOUR YEARS since the HPP onset, I saw clearly and felt genuine JOY. If I had to put a percentage on it, four years of abstaining from drugs cured my PTSD/HPP about 20%. The six hour mushroom trip (which at times got difficult due to my phobia of hallucinogens)cured me another 70%. So what I was left with was about 10% post drug emotional damage.

Now this could have been all in my head and my damaged emotional state perhaps created a placebo effect and made my HPP worse out of perpetual fear and anxiety, but none the less it was medicinal. Now theres a lot of research going into this currently. How mushrooms seem to help people with phobias and such. But this is my exact point, not all psychedelics are created equal. I think LSD is probably much more harmful than psilocybin even toxic. Unfortunatly I do prefer LSD recreationally and find the creative and visual effects to be superior to LSD. Now Im very interested in what studies may come out of AL-LAD. Perhaps this one will have less harmful effects than LSD. Im excited about this.
 
^There is really no evidence to support the idea that LSD is toxic. Remember that its actually one of the most studied psychedelics in history. There is a lot of propaganda from both sides of the debate and yes, some people have negative experiences with LSD, but people also have bad experiences and sensitivity to caffeine. There's no need to then consider these things toxic just because you have had an unfortunately negative experience.

FWIW, I would be very cautious in using more psychedelics to relieve a problem caused by psychedelics. That just doesn't make sense to me and is potentially quite risky.
 
Willow, FYI I don't feel that LSD is toxic, but if I had to choose which one potentially causes more harm I would choose LSD as the candidate over psilocybin. Also , I never recommend anyone take my path in "curing" any problems which arise from their use of psychedelics, but I wont recommend many of the dr recommended choices euther.
 
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I was an alcoholic since I was about 14. Drinking at least once a week until my bad trip at 16. After that I was drinking daily just to get through my pain. I never stopped as it became my comfort blanket. This year I used LSD and 25c . I used the LSD at moderate and low doses several times in one week and the 25c was also with the week period. I literally noticed that I had no desire to drink. I even tried drinking a few times since this and I felt like shit. I just wasn't enjoying it. I don't know if I was just ready to quit or my recent drug experiences flipped a switch. But Ive been dry since January this year besides two occasions in which I tried to indulge during festivities, but I just don't have the same obsessive and compulsive desire to drink. In a way it has handicapped me bc I don't care to attend social gatherings since this change in my personality but Im sure in the long run Im better off being repulsed by booze.

I have a point to all this besides the seemingly beneficial change rought about by the experiences. I have noticed my cognition and comprehension has been sharper and clearer than ever!!! Even when I was heavily using mushrooms and LSD. Although I was indulging in a lot of alcholol at all times for the last 15 or so years.

Ok there was one other time where I quit drinking and it was the result of psychedelics too! In 2000 I ate about two grams of some extremely potent cubensis mushrooms. This resulted in a spiritual awakening in which I literally had a two year long after glow. I was friendlier to people I had a more positive state of mind and was just all around glowing! I decided to put the booze down and focus on healthier habits which also lasted about a year.

I forgot about these events and feel that they may be relevant to this discussion :)
 
Perhaps mushrooms were simply a catalyst that loosened you up and allowed the emotional uplift LSD had pinned down. I definitely experienced things being set back in their place after being damaged. It was a mix of things that made me feel relieved and left all kinds of feelings once again at my disposal. I did use a prescribable medicine.

I think it was a lot like amnesia as a matter of fact.

Toxicity alone does not tell you everything about a substance. Reversible means if not enough is taken to kill you then the damage it does is only temporary, meaning 12 hours or something. I have strong reservations about calling it that.

Apparently people are able to experience all these things, good or bad, without psychedelics and that is an important point. Abstinence should not be a radical idea on a harm reduction forum. There is certainly nothing necessary about using drugs and people who have trouble describing it only make it seem more mysterious.

I have been asked why I am here if I don't use drugs. Well, why are you here if you think they are harmless?

Creativity and so on can certainly be found without drugs, moreso without them in my case, and I see absolutely no doubt the stuff can produce prolonged adverse effects. In my unfortunate experience that blew everything else right out of the water.

It is frustrating to see what is either denial or arrogance from people against something that, that as I read through literature and this forum, become obviously related.

If only people used drugs in a safe manner, then maybe, but they don't.
 
Strangely enough, for me it appears that psychedelic experience itself is oftentimes uncomfortable. I frequently talk myself into doing it, since it appears that these trips strengthen me mentally, physically and spiritually. So in my case use of psychedelics ir bordering with masochism...I see trips as a sort of a challenge I must go through occassionally to keep myself "fit" on all planes of existence.

I love my HPPD, though. It reminds me of the work done in a way...Like how one's muscles are sore after an intense workout.

Not sure that these ramblings were relevant to the topic, but oh well.
 
afer said:
Strangely enough, for me it appears that psychedelic experience itself is oftentimes uncomfortable. I frequently talk myself into doing it, since it appears that these trips strengthen me mentally, physically and spiritually. So in my case use of psychedelics ir bordering with masochism...I see trips as a sort of a challenge I must go through occassionally to keep myself "fit" on all planes of existence.

I love my HPPD, though. It reminds me of the work done in a way...Like how one's muscles are sore after an intense workout.

Not sure that these ramblings were relevant to the topic, but oh well.
Click to expand...
More than mine!
 
afer said:
Strangely enough, for me it appears that psychedelic experience itself is oftentimes uncomfortable. I frequently talk myself into doing it, since it appears that these trips strengthen me mentally, physically and spiritually. So in my case use of psychedelics ir bordering with masochism...I see trips as a sort of a challenge I must go through occassionally to keep myself "fit" on all planes of existence.

I love my HPPD, though. It reminds me of the work done in a way...Like how one's muscles are sore after an intense workout.

Not sure that these ramblings were relevant to the topic, but oh well.
Click to expand...

It definatly depends on the psychedelic. Unfortunatly many phenethylamines seem to have little value in regards to mind expansion. I havnt tried the 2x's but have heard they are rather shallow. I tried 25c and it was almost completely hedonistic. LSD is quite manageable but has some depth for me. The tryptamines in general seem to have a "difficult" edge to them. But yes the "classic" psychedelic experiences do have more of an edge to them
 
Ramble on gentleman, it doesn't seem as though I got what I wanted out of this thread. Fortunatly, there where some great discussions and Ive learned from it.
 
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