Leonard Schneider Wisdom Dump
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce,
That all my wealth won't buy me health
So I smoke a pint of tea a day.
Simon and Garfunkel's A Simple Desultory Philippic
Kids Sniffing Aeroplane Glue
"There were kids eight or nine years old sniffing aeroplane glue, to get high on. These kids are responsible for turning musicians onto a lot of things they never knew about actually. So, I had a fantasy, how it happened. Kid is alone in his room, it's Saturday. Kid is played by George Macready, "Now lets see, I'm all alone in a room and it's Saturday, I'll make an aeroplane, that's what I'll do. Lancaster is a good structural design, I'll get the balsa wood here, cut it out, sand if off. Now a little aeroplane glue, I'll rub it on the rag and... Hey now, ha ha ha. Ohh. I'm getting loaded. Is is possible to get loaded on aeroplane glue? Maybe it's stuffy, I'll call my dog over. Fidika come here darling and smell this rag. Smell it you freaky little doggy. Smell the rag Fidika, Fidika, Fidika!!! He's up there. I've done it. I'm the Louis Pasteur of junkiedom. Out of my skull for 10 cents. Well there's much work to be done now. Horses hoofs to melt down. Noses to get ready." Cut to the toy store. Any toy store. Any neighbourhood Kid walks in. "Hello Chandler, nice store you got here. Gimme a nickels worth of pencils. Big boy tablet. Ju-ju beans. Tailspin Tommy book and 2000 tubes of aeroplane glue."
The Irish
"The thing is, you have a choice of a judge or a jury. You're a smuck, if you ever take the judge, because the thing is you're going to tell him a story to convince him. What kind of shit are you going to tell the judge that he hasn't already heard? You get twelve impressionable people, solid. Now as far as getting a goyish attorney, solid. Because you are that prejudice, who is more likely to murder his daughter and rape her, in a drunken state? An Irish father, an Italian father or a Jewish father? Even the Irish know that the Irish would. So if you are that prejudice and screwed up man, what Jewish father would do that? Are you kidding. What Italian father would do that? It's only the Irish that sell their kids for bottles what a load of bullshit. The Irish are the most persecuted minority group ever. Everyone is always bitching a drunk and would like to thwart a Fardy. Unfortunately for the Irish. Writing came in the fifth century and so they memorised everything and they're genius orators. So when they came over here (United States) they got the gig's in government. They where the heat. They were the rulers. And people got drunk with that man."
Are there any niggers here tonight?
"What did he say? "Are there any niggers here tonight?" Jesus Christ, do you have to get that low for laughs? Have I ever told you about the schwartzer? Or spoke about the moulin john's? Are there any niggers? I know that one nigger that works here I see him back there. Oh there's two niggers, customers. Ah but between those two niggers there's one kike. Thank god for the kike. And two kikes. That's two kikes and three niggers and one spic. One spic, three spics and one mick. One mick one spic one hick, thick, funky, spunky boogie. And there's another kike. Three kikes, three kikes one ginny, one greaseball three greaseballs, two ginny's. One hunky funky lace-curtain Irish mick. Five more niggers. I pass with seven niggers, six spics, five micks, four kikes, three guineas, and one wop. Well, I was just trying to make a point and that is that it's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. Dig. If President Kennedy would just go on television, and say, "I would like to introduce you to all the niggers in my cabinet," and if he'd just say "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" to every nigger he saw, "boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie," "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" 'til nigger didn't mean anything any more, then you could never make some 6 year old black kid cry because somebody called him a nigger at school."
“A lot of people say to me, `Why did you kill Christ?'
I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.”