I'm reluctant to type this but I have little else in life to look forward to besides drugs and if I quit rolling I'll end up becoming a smackhead or dead.
I'd smoke some weed beforehand but that increases my feelings of paranoia and the last thing I want during a comeup is worrying about law enforcement busting down my door. When I OD'd a few years ago I actually shut off the electricity to my house and all it took to trigger that was my social worker asking me if I'm alright over the phone (I was so stupid I actually called her while rolling), she didn't even know I was on anything.