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Propanolol/Inderal overdose survivors share your story please

I hope that you do not go through with your plan. Asking for survival stories or ways to die is not allowed for obvious reasons but I will not close this thread in the hopes that you will talk about what is leading you to this decision. Wanting to die is something many of us have experienced but it is usually not a actual death-wish; it's a wish to kill the pain. Your body and brain are programmed for survival and your spirit just wants freedom. Try to imagine a different life and then take small and practical steps towards it.
 
i wanna live but i must kill myself i want help but help for my problem doesnt exist, life is amazing but i gotta die
 
A propranolol OD would be a really shit way to go. There's tons of ways to kill yourself but I'm not convinced that you really want to, otherwise you would've done it already and wouldn't be making this thread. Either way, why not try to live? Suicide is always an option but its a permanent one that there's no coming back from.
 
pandapanda, would you be willing to share a little bit of what is hurting you? You don't have to give details if that is not comfortable but sometimes it even helps to write out what is going on. So many people here have been where you are right now. Despair plays tricks on the mind, convinces you that there is no other reality, installs fatalism and hopelessness in your every thought. Wanting to end one's pain is not only understandable it is life affirming. But you do not need to die to affect the source of your pain unless you have a physical problem that I know nothing about. Most of us get our natural born imaginations squashed by the time we leave grammar school. It takes imagination to find your way out of pain. What would you imagine as perfect peace for you?
 
herbavore said:
pandapanda, would you be willing to share a little bit of what is hurting you? You don't have to give details if that is not comfortable but sometimes it even helps to write out what is going on. So many people here have been where you are right now. Despair plays tricks on the mind, convinces you that there is no other reality, installs fatalism and hopelessness in your every thought. Wanting to end one's pain is not only understandable it is life affirming. But you do not need to die to affect the source of your pain unless you have a physical problem that I know nothing about. Most of us get our natural born imaginations squashed by the time we leave grammar school. It takes imagination to find your way out of pain. What would you imagine as perfect peace for you?
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im not open minded so im just gonna say that the past is hurting me the most and now came new problems etc...im not even talking to psych, i just tell him some small surface problems but under the surface is hell and also i cant send PM's idk why, it says the website is blocking me for security reasons
 
nuttynutskin said:
A propranolol OD would be a really shit way to go. There's tons of ways to kill yourself but I'm not convinced that you really want to, otherwise you would've done it already and wouldn't be making this thread. Either way, why not try to live? Suicide is always an option but its a permanent one that there's no coming back from.
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im curious why would propranolol be a shitty way to go?
pls answer, dont let me get to know it myself
 
If you are not telling your psychiatrist the deeper issues then you are just wasting your time and hurting yourself further. I understand why you might not, but it is only furthering your sense of isolation and despair. Maybe what happened in childhood convinced you that it is dangerous to trust people. The truth is that trust has to be discerning--you can't trust everyone but not trusting anyone is just as dangerous. If your psychiatrist does not seem to have your best interests at heart then maybe you should look for a new one. On the other hand maybe try trusting him with more information and see if you can get somewhere. Our minds (thoughts) are usually our worst enemies. Learning how to change perspective, to reframe the stories of our lives is very powerful.
 
If you think life is amazing, why on Earth would you kill yourself without even trying to fix it first? You say you're in therapy but you basically won't participate in it, and that you're closed minded, which indicates to me you don't want to put effort in to solving your pain. You only get one life, and you're right, life is amazing, even though it hurts sometimes. Why can't you try actually participating in therapy and try other routes before up and killing yourself? It's worth it. I was depressed to point of wanting to die in the past, and I finally got past it with some work, and boy am I glad I did, because I have gotten to experience a lot of great things since then. There is always hope. <3
 
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Im ugly n i feel like i dont have privilege to live, im boring to everyone, im underestimated etc tried so many times so many stuff
 
The world is so much bigger than small-minded people that would judge you for your looks or even charisma. You say you are underestimated and that is a good sign that you recognize your worth as a human being. But by calling yourself ugly and reporting that you are "boring to everyone" you also reveal that you have internalized the small-minded judgment against yourself. That is the key to mental freedom! You need to turn around those voices in your own head that support this narrow-minded thinking. There are so many people, male and female, in this world that do not fit the narrow, prescribed and marketed definition of beauty. We are made to suffer because of what is advertised to us as how we should look, act, feel and what we should own. Even many of the people that fit the narrow definition of good-looking are starving themselves to death. But who is actually making us accept that? We are. It's hard, especially if you are young, to have faith that the world is indeed bigger than the smallest minds and the overwhelming vastness of the world of marketing--but it is! There are people all over the globe that are happily living lives of adventure and intellectual pursuits and creative pursuits that don't give a whit about looks or whether you are extroverted or introverted or anything other than if you are kind and loving--both to yourself and others. Look for those people--they are out there! You find them by pursuing your own interests and passions. Do that with intensity and you not even have the time to be putting yourself down for things that in the end do not matter.

If you are so separated from yourself that you cannot even identify your passions or interests, don't despair. Try to think back to your earliest years--before school. What made you happy? What caused you pain? Children are very vulnerable and maybe you had a family that caused you pain--this can make the task harder but not insurmountable. Imagine yourself, not as the killer of this little kid, but the Rescuer. Believe it or not, rescuing yourself from yourself can be a pretty interesting way to live life.<3
 
^The guy that's dead forever when maybe he doesn't have to be?

I've been there, mate. Its scary and intense but I assure you it passes.

Why do you hate yourself? What's so awful about you? Are you sure you're not just a human being too hard on himself?

A human life is pretty short and always ends in death. At the end of the day, this burden will be taken from us all. You'll leave your life with nothing whether you die when you're old or if you choose to die sooner. But if you kill yourself now you will never find out whether or not things could have gotten better for you. You're not getting another chance to live, you're definitely going to die anyway- don't rush it, take a chance and live for the brief moment you'll get.
 
Propranolol is such an unknown drug as far as recreational use it's strange someone would want to know how to kill themselves with it.
 
pandapandax6 said:
I hate my family n myself
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Sounds like reading up on forgiveness might be a good thing for you. People mistake forgiveness for excusing someone's behavior that is hurtful but that is not what it is. It is a relinquishing of the tightly held hurt so that you can free your own mind to the extent that is possible. You sound like you are pretty young so learning how to forgive yourself and others now will be a great asset to your life. People are imperfect. They do horrible damage to each other--especially in families--but they usually do it out of their own damaged places.
 
I believe all of you that you have been in my situation but you know...natural selection does its job, its sad cuz i wanna live but i gotta die. and thank you for tryna help me.
 
There's nothing natural about suicide but all the best. I hope you reconsider if only for a few days. <3

Can you head to hospital? I had to several times last year, its scary and confronting but I am so glad I did.
 
If i go to the hospital they gonna send me to psych ward where ill be kept 30 days, thats the procedure for suicidal people here. I dont wanna go there, it stinks, people stink, nobody talks, people are empty in mind, not taking shower etc...Phones not allowed so no headphones n music etc...

The past is haunting me thats almost the main reason for suicide n family also, they never support/ed me and always underestimate me.
 
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