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Please, I need Brutal honesty and serious help (palinopsia, after images, trails)

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Acephalgic migraine is actually something a good ophthalmologist should be familiar with, typically caused by a blood vessel spasming in the back of the head (occipital region, where the eyes input is processed), but there isn't much to be done about that either :/ I absolutely understand the whole "you should go get it checked out by an M.D" thing but unfortunately there's not much to be done here, of course there's no harm in seeing an eye doctor, but I think it's much more likely this is HPPD.

I think it's pretty concrete that MDMA doesn't hurt the eyes in any way while it has (relatively) a high rate of causing HPPD which is entirely mental, and currently we suck pretty bad at curing mental disorders lol.
 
Kl519 said:
Really? So an ophthalmologist wouldn't catch any of that? It seems that it's part mental too, but I would still think visiting one is a good idea. Or I guess that's just me...
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Nope, even a neuroophthalmologist wouldn't catch it, and they would refer to a neurologist. A neurologist would consider an MRI and EEG, which would likely be negative, and wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

It comes down to waiting (> 1 year), good luck, and possibly a serotonin modifying medication or an agent that modulates its downstream effects. That is really all there is for now.
 
zebrafish said:
Nope, even a neuroophthalmologist wouldn't catch it, and they would refer to a neurologist. A neurologist would consider an MRI and EEG, which would likely be negative, and wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

It comes down to waiting (> 1 year), good luck, and possibly a serotonin modifying medication or an agent that modulates its downstream effects. That is really all there is for now.
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Unfortunately I agree completely
 
Well, that sucks. Hopefully that works for the OP then. :)
 
Portvaldes said:
we didn't test it, my friend just got a package and bought it to the concert he said it was 80% purity or something
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or something?

if you didn't test your gear, who knows what you took. the first step in hr is a focus on facts. you wrote: "I took really strong mdma 2 weeks ago and I've developed palinopsia, after images, visual snow and trails day by day since." when what actually happened is: "I took an unknown substance 2 weeks ago and I've developed palinopsia, after images, visual snow and trails day by day since."

i hope you get the help you need and the relief you seek.

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
or something?

if you didn't test your gear, who knows what you took. the first step in hr is a focus on facts. you wrote: "I took really strong mdma 2 weeks ago and I've developed palinopsia, after images, visual snow and trails day by day since." when what actually happened is: "I took an unknown substance 2 weeks ago and I've developed palinopsia, after images, visual snow and trails day by day since."

i hope you get the help you need and the relief you seek.

alasdair
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thank you for your 'help'
 
^ sarcasm noted.

my comments aren't just for you. 25 people have responded to your thread but over 400 have read it. if just one of those is somebody considering taking mdma without testing it and they change their mind and buy a test kit because of your stupidity, then that will be a good thing.

don't ask for "brutal honesty" is you're just going to get bent when you get it...

alasdair
 
most deepweb vendors will scam a new customer just to see if you have a test kit. most street dealers will short a customer their first or second time just to see if you have a scale.
 
Mm hmm, both Ali and Severely are so on point. When you look deep into what they're saying, it's really for your own benefit OP, as well as anyone else who may be reading this thread and learning something new. Important advice like this deserves a level of sternness to stress the importance of the message, not to mention you asked for it. :)

Don't take it too personally though! Anyone even taking the time to respond means that they set aside a certain amount of time and energy to help, so hopefully that makes it across to you.
 
Seems like all your questions have been answered In the post. Why are you bumping?
 
I too have been experiencing some HPPD-like symptoms along with some other shit like dp/dr after an md+mxe+nos session 3 months back.

I know exactly what it feels like, the thought that you may be stuck in this state sucks.

Are you just experiencing anxiety or full blow dissociation(dp/dr)? Apart from supplementation, what measures have you been taking to attempt recovery?

Mine was delayed, it didnt kick in till exactly a week after and the first month of it was absolute hell. I was so dissociated that I felt like my own mum wasnt real. There were nights when I just cried because I thought I was going full on mental. By month 2 things started to improve but only extremely slighty, more me just getting used to it but I started to feel slightly less dissociated. Now, exactly 3 months and 1 day has passed since I took the drugs and im feeling about 40% better. So theres still a long way to go. Do I think ill ever get back to 100%? Not sure, but im trying to stay positive. At least the walls have stopped breathing for the most part and the dizziness has clamed dow . Apart from a heap of LTC symptoms, my HPPD symtoms that remain are; light after images of bright lights and bold text against contasting backgrounds and mild visual snow. Im mainly working on my anxiety now so I can remove the depersonalisation.

So the main thing is, what have I done to combat it.
1. EXERCISE. I Cant stress this enough. Exercise promotes neurogenesis by increasing BDNF. This is going to help your brain grow and repair itself and promote any chance of recovery. I go to the gym 3 times a week and do a full body workout comprised of mostly compound lifts e.g. deadlifts, bench press etc. Then every other day, I run at least 5k. Build yourself up, start slow, any exercise is better than none.
2. QUIT ALL DRUGS. The amount of people Ive seen asking why their HPPD isnt going away and theyre still smoking pot! You need to abstain from all drugs, including legal ones. Ive quit everything including caffeine, alcohol and nicotine. Its just a no brainer man, anything that effects neurotransmitters is potentially effecting recovery. I know this sucks, Id absolutly kill for a coffee and a cig but id rather go for recovery haha.
3. Diet. Cut out all added sugar. No sweet stuff, no fizzy drinks, cola...Try to eat a whole foods diet. Fresh veg and fruit, some meat but not loads and not loads of shit meat either. I study nutrition at univeristy and im an avid believer in plant based diets, which I follow about 70% of the time. Do some research, give it a go, it may or may not be for you, but theres plenty of research on its effect on mental health. This ones obvious, just make the right choices. Doesnt mean you cant have a treat once in a while though. Drink plenty of water too.
4. Practice things to eliminate the anxiety. E.g. meditation. I was very skeptical of meditation at first but when i bother to do it, I find it very relaxing. Same with yoga. Im still trying to do these things more often! Look into breathing techniques too.
5. Im gonna go against some of the advice given already, and im quite surprised at some of the terrible responses too... dont bother with the doctors yet. HPPD isnt really a well understood condition and they may try and say youve got some sort of drug induced psychosis or its just anxiety. The last thing you want to do is at this stage is to start taking ssris/antidepressents. People have got hppd from ssris. You need to let your brain heal naturally. But by all means, go to the doctor if you feel you want to have, for example, a blood test to rule out anything else and put your mind to rest. And also bringing me onto my next point...
6. Try and get some talking theropy. Ive heard good things on CBT and im working on getting this myself. Im currently having simple talking theropy at uni due to a bad breakup last year and its helping that I can also discuss whats going on currently with my mental health.
7. The only drug I would recommend taking is a benzo. I always carry valium with me but I rarely take it. Its just incase I slip into bad dp/dr/anxiety and it calms me down. I normally take 2.5mg and its enough just to take the edge off. But I take it only as and when I really need it. The last time I took it was 3 weeks ago and thats because I had a presentation at uni. Benzo addiction and withdrawal is not something you want to get involved with so if you do manage to get some, please dont fuck about with it.

So yeah, try and do as much as you can to recover and try and stay postive. I know how hard it is and sometimes I even forget this myself. If im feeling really bad I stick my running shoes on and go for a run. It even makes me feel worse for about 30 minutes after sometimes but then I tend to feel pretty good for a few hours. Give it a go.

A lot of reports seem to imply that this goes away for most people and its rarely a life long condition. Although it may persit for months or years before you make a full recovery. You can only find out by waiting and hoping as I am doing the same. But remember, its the anxiety you need to work on.

I hope this post helps you, and if you want to talk further about anything. Please feel free to inbox me.

Best wishes,
Martyn
 
Also, forgot to mention. I wouldnt bother with any supplementation this early on in the game. The only things I would recommend supplementing, is vitamin D if you dont get enough sunlight and b12 if youre on a strict vegan diet.

Eat a decent enough diet with plenty of whole foods, veg, fruit and what have you and you wont need to supplement.

Peace brother
 
Mazzab said:
Seems like all your questions have been answered In the post. Why are you bumping?
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No they haven't? Why do you care? Did I do you any harm? Did you help in anyway? I have no clue what's wrong with some of the people on this site man I came here looking for help and three admins tried to insult me for reasons I still don't know, are you people angry at me because I'm suffering?
 
This was helpful af I was worried about the fact mine was delayed and thought it equated to a permanent case, good to hear from someone who also had theirs delayed. Just anxiety, I've experienced dp/dr this time last year thanks to an nbome so some of my thought process prevented it I think (as unlikely as that is). There are times when I'm with people and it's so bad that I can't be myself, I end up in this depressive state telling myself it won't stop getting worse and I'll never lead a normal life yadayadaya

In terms of supplements I've tried, magnesium, dha, vitamin D, B12, b2, uridine, choline just after the first month passed. My symptoms worsened and I then read someone's hunch online that some of these strengthened the neurons that were causing the hppd (probably makes no biological sense but I was terrified and it was getting worse). Since then I stopped taking them and started Lions Mane supplements on their own, it may be too early to tell but symptoms have continued worsening. Today I ordered L-Glutamine and Caprylic Acid there's a big thing about hppd potentially being caused by damaged serotonin receptors in the gut from drinking and dropping that allows candida into the brain or something, so I'm trying to fix my gut and mind simultaneously.

In terms of exercise I irregularly visit the gym but I'm fine with it as opposed to jogging which I hate (I'm in reasonable shape just really lay) so I'll try and pick up on both of those. With the candida thing I'm going to try a plant based diet anyway, any advice on a few things I should be eating alot of?

When you say it's getting better how do you mean? Trails less obvious? after images lasting less and not as thick?
 
i did not insult you. at all.

also, many more people read bl threads than respond. when i respond, i am also talking to the people who are contemplating doing what you did and now might think twice because of your actions.

my response goes to the very heart of harm reduction. you asked for brutal honestly when you clearly don't want to hear it.

you think you took mdma and had an odd experience. what actually happened is you took 600mg of an unknown substance. i am not exaggerating or attacking you when i say you are lucky to be alive. it's hard for us to help you because we have absolutely no idea what you actually took.

There are a lot of lessons to learn here. i hope you make a smarter choice next time.

alasdair
 
Portvaldes said:
No they haven't? Why do you care? Did I do you any harm? Did you help in anyway? I have no clue what's wrong with some of the people on this site man I came here looking for help and three admins tried to insult me for reasons I still don't know, are you people angry at me because I'm suffering?
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Consider that you are on a harm reduction site about recreational substances, in fact the biggest of its kind. I've noticed for a while that there are threads made by newbies constantly, with only a few posts and that are very similar to each other. I have a lot of merging and cleaning to do because of this.

I've read this thread over again, and I don't see any insults because when you do something stupid (like taking that much of an unknown substance), it IS stupid. You could die from dozens of chemicals of that amount. Instead of constantly pointing fingers and blaming everyone and everything else about your situation, try looking in the mirror and taking some accountability; see what you did wrong, what you could do better and what you can learn from these mistakes. That is the ONLY way you can improve upon your situation. There's literally no better action you can take than that, other than spending too much time on here and not enough in reality.

Good luck.
 

"What are you doing on a drug website if you really care about fixing your health problem?"
"What are you complaining about? Honestly, you should go see a mental health specialist while you're at it. Smh." These were your immediate replies to me seeking help, you were wrong to write these and you tried to offend me. You as an admin thought it smart to ask why someone would try and find health advice on a forum. Go over that with yourself.

Understand that I don't need any help in hindsight, this should be simple to grasp. I am currently suffering from possibly permanent symptoms, telling me that I shouldn't have taken something and should've gotten checked is like a doctor telling someone who got hit by a car to check the road in the future. No shit. 'Try and see what I did wrong' I can see it every time I open my eyes I don't need a mirror thank you, I came here for advice and there are people in the thread that helped (alot) and strange instances of people doing what you're doing. You have just told me that the only way to cure a chemical imbalance in my brain is to realise that I took a bad drug and that I should learn to not to it again. What are you even talking about?
 
There's no reason to think your symptoms are permanent, the super majority of MDMA abusers and LTC sufferers recover with time. There are things that will perpetuate your thought patterns and current synaptic organization though, such as a bad attitude or anxiety.

I suggest you address this with mindfulness meditation. It will take practice, but if you try to shut off your thoughts your brain will reorganize itself with time.

Now I forget how long ago you took MDMA, but keep in mind if it's been less than a year you could still be suffering from the acute effects that are not related to any "damage".

If you really think you've done "damage", do as much cardio as you possibly can and eat lots of protein. It will build new brain cells and arteries in the brain.
 
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