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Mental Health Personality Disorders

mtu mwendawazimu

mtu mwendawazimu

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
17,258
IIRC, PDs account for ~10% of the population (in the USA, IIRC).

Has anyone here been diagnosed with one? What are your views on them? What do you know about them?

My forensic psych/therapist or whatever has pinned me with Antisocial Personality Disorder, saying the only factor i don't have is the long rap sheet, since mine is merely a felony (not convicted) and a misdemeanor. Aside from one Major fuck up, am fairly pro-social despite the stigma attached to my disorder.

I think people with PDs are very interesting, though very predictable for others who have them. It's like being gay and having a small portion of people being able to understand you.

I know a lot about the various PDs, so if anyone has any questions i would be happy to answer them, to the best of my knowledge, or provide sources.

I (I know, i say "i" a lot..) want to make a space for people with PDs to shamelessly talk about their lives, their struggles, their triumphs, and their questions.

Thank you for being here!
 
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madness00 said:
IIRC, PDs account for ~10% of the population (in the USA, IIRC).

Has anyone here been diagnosed with one? What are your views on them? What do you know about them?

To my great shame, my therapist has pinned me with Antisocial Personality Disorder, saying the only factor i don't have is the long rap sheet, since mine is merely a felony (not convicted) and a misdemeanor. She says i am an anomaly within AsPD for being so high functioning, with tested my IQ as 120. I used to work at one of the globally systematic important banks, and aside from one Major fuck up, am fairly pro-social despite the stigma attached to my disorder.

I think people with PDs are very interesting, though very predictable for others who have them. It's like being gay and having a small portion of people being able to understand you.

I know a lot about the various PDs, so if anyone has any questions i would be happy to answer them, to the best of my knowledge, or provide sources.

I (I know, i say "i" a lot..) want to make a space for people with PDs to shamelessly talk about their lives, their struggles, their triumphs, and their questions.

Thank you for being here!
Click to expand...

I have been diagnosed with severe Borderline Personality Disorder which I feel is very accurate. I'm prescribed Sertraline, Quetiapine, Trazodone, Chlorpromazine and Lamotrigine to help. I also take non-prescribed Xanax which is a miracle drug for my anxiety.
I have also been told I have Dependent Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder and I guess I do but they are overshadowed by the severe Borderline.
It has been suggested to me that I have Antisocial Personality and I guess I do (although I have NEVER been cruel to animals and I hate people who are) but I don't think I was ever formally diagnosed.

I have done a massive amount of research on all personality disorders.
I'm not "high functioning" at all but I don't think personality disorders are related to intelligence (although people with Antisocial Personality often have either very high intelligence or very low intelligence). My IQ is 137.
 
You're right, high functioning is not directly related to intelligence. I just threw up my IQ because it goes to show potential to be high functioning, as like you said, AsPD is fairly bipolar in that regard, and those who are less intelligent tend to be the ones locked up.

I wonder if people with PDs are more likely to use the internet as means for communication? Well first of all, AsPD doesn't literally mean "antisocial" in regards to relationships, it just means.. not pro-social. But anyway, i feel as though most PDs feel a sense of isolation because of their unique ways of communicating, possibly caused my arrested development. I also think, but am not certain, that most PDs have a bit of narcissism tied into them. It is a coping mechanism that, although unhealthy, may be necessary to get through whatever situations caused their disorder.

I can not find sources to back up these assumptions, so correct me if i'm wrong, but i tried to use a lot of "maybe"s and "i think"s to hedge my bet ;)

Thanks for joining the party ChemicallyEnhanced.
 
diagnosed borderline (&co-occurring anorexia )and currently in a hospital [3rd month]. every one said i was better from dbt , but (lol)i have to be sick or else nobody thinks about me so i cut up my arms (an exhibit) soi'd receive care . nurses call me attention seeking lol etc another patient said my anorexia is narcissistic & i guess __if i eat i think i deserve to be dead . also so i 'm a little [perfectionist + i constantly compare to others and if i 'm not better i want to die .

i don't want to get better & i feel alone constantly . i have a friend or a couple but always short-term likee i'll be obsessed with one and then another. or they stop wanting to be with me . i 'm fortunate to have a boyfriend currently who cares about me but i 'm feeling like i can end our relationship early . i said he's allowed to abuse me because i deserve it a(nd he may) ------ i want to be used

but so i remember like before i was diagnosed i thought nobody can tell + i 'm not ill but lool bpd put in my papers ; i'v e been declined from hospitals because of my eating disorder , too.

i don't want to be influenced by reading about them so i try to stay naive .
i don't feel sick enough
 
love_ana said:
diagnosed borderline (&co-occurring anorexia )and currently in a hospital [3rd month]. every one said i was better from dbt , but (lol)i have to be sick or else nobody thinks about me so i cut up my arms (an exhibit) soi'd receive care . nurses call me attention seeking lol etc another patient said my anorexia is narcissistic & i guess __if i eat i think i deserve to be dead . also so i 'm a little [perfectionist + i constantly compare to others and if i 'm not better i want to die .

i don't want to get better & i feel alone constantly . i have a friend or a couple but always short-term likee i'll be obsessed with one and then another. or they stop wanting to be with me . i 'm fortunate to have a boyfriend currently who cares about me but i 'm feeling like i can end our relationship early . i said he's allowed to abuse me because i deserve it a(nd he may) ------ i want to be used

but so i remember like before i was diagnosed i thought nobody can tell + i 'm not ill but lool bpd put in my papers ; i'v e been declined from hospitals because of my eating disorder , too.

i don't want to be influenced by reading about them so i try to stay naive .
i don't feel sick enough
Click to expand...

Thanks for being here love_ana, and welcome to Bluelight :)

One of the cool things about BL, is you're not alone. You can always find like minds in this joint and talk about the un-talked about.

Do you have any cool hobbies? What do you do when you're not hospitalize :p
 
I've been diagnosed with Borderline personality Disorder. I'm not sure I agree with it though. I do have sone of the traits but I am not an asshole nor am I clingy. I do have an unstable sense of self identity in sone ways and chronic feelings of emptiness. I got diagnosed during a very traumatic tine in my life with multiple hospitalizations back to back. Also was coming off methodone so I was a wreck. I feel like I got the diagnosis so the phychiatrist could throw me out of the hospital.
 
madness00 said:
Do you have any cool hobbies? What do you do when you're not hospitalize :p
Click to expand...

o i enjoy taking photos of plants and insects - more abstract ones like close-ups. i had a full scholarship in college but i was made to drop-out because i started using dxm and benadryl often and like each day i'd tell them i want to end my life (they thought i was a liability).
i also make bad music on my computer like breakcore / jungle /90s dance i want to be a dj but lol

i also really like online games like mmos . but find i can 't stop. when my anorexia was worse i'd live off diet coke and pickles and play online for 16-24+ hours a day until i 'd begin fainting when i stand up . i miss that
once i'm discharged from the hospital i am going to find apart-time job and go back to school (hope.) and more dbt lol

currently on disability for my borderline eee
 
@cj - That's frustrating, but it's just a label. I bet, like you said, the traumatic situation was the basis of their decision.

@Pete556 - It isn't considered one, but by all means join the party :)

@love_ana Right on.

I'm on disability, love video games, and am a 90's music FANATIC.

I'm sure your music isn't that bad.. especially the 90's stuff i'd love to listen to if you want to share. Up to you.

It's nice that you have a lot of cool hobbies - and staying busy with school and a job? That's fucking awesome. I recently just got a job after being canned at the bank for a leave of absence during a manic episode.. it's nothing special but i get to make pages over the intercom and request for backup. I imagine one day i forget my meds and say something ridiculous over the intercom like.. "Could i get a belly dancer over to isle 33 to clean the busted load? Again.. a BELLY DANCER to isle THIRTY THREE.." etc. etc.

I get free coffee at Starbucks, btw, guys.. Just FYI. It's a loophole.
 
Do tell about the free Starbucks! I love those damn frappacinos
 
IDK if it's the same in your city, but in Boston if you bring back an empty cup you can get a refill for 54 cents, and if you have a gift card attached to your phone on the Starbucks app and scan it at the register it reduces the hefty 54 cent purchase to FREE!

Only works on regular hot/ice coffee.
 
i am out of place in my unit -- almost every one else is schizophrenic or manic or too old to do anything . we 're allowed to leave our unit during the day and see patients from other units but only other category are patients like self admitting pedophiles , etc

also one time my nurse pulled a few wrong pills ,i didn 't want to be difficult (maybe a different pill color? )so i ate them and began to notice heart palpitations . soo i was like um what medication did you give me and they 're like lol you 're fine and i 'm like um no this is not ok but they just ignored me , and i complained again they said i 'm making it up but but but one nurse did eventually find out i was right . they refused to tell me what the pills were and even my psychiatrist acted dismissive . o boy i can 't wait to be off my medication once i am home
 
I've got some major derealization going on, some days better than others.... odd way to go through life tho..... wondering if anything is actually real
 
Yeah, i kinda just go with the flow, if it's real it's real. If not, then oh well.
 
Most places, i have really vivid dreams, sometimes im unsure if I'm awake or not..... and often wonder if things that are happening are real.
 
BPD club here too. Very accurate, but tends to get messed up and confused with my drug addiction (he/we can’t decide whether or not I’m acting out because of my BPD or because I’m using). I’m also diagnosed with major depression and anxiety but it feels like they’re all one thing sometimes because I’m just so up and down that I can’t ever figure out if it’s the depression/anxiety/BPD/drugs. A lot of people who are misinformed about BPD and personality disorders in general tend to have bad feelings towards them. A lot of people whom I’ve divulged about my BPD (which I don’t talk about a lot, ever) and when I try to explain it to them, they automatically get a bad opinion about them. It’s unfortunate because so many amazing people shouldn’t be judged for something that they can’t control. I believe you can learn to manage the symptoms, with DBT therapy/CBT therapy/medications, but ultimately it’s there and will definitely rear it’s ugly head during times of severe stress, trauma, etc. Hope that kinda answered what you were saying lol
 
Yeah, BPD and ASPD both have such a negative stigma. Personalities are constantly changing, and since we are a product of our environment, there's hope for us all to manage symptoms. Being able to identify with a PD is liberating, IMO, because it explains why we do what we do. We have unique ways of experiencing ourselves, others, and the world around us - and who's to say it's invalid? It's just, we went through things that others haven't, and therefore see things from a new perspective.

Thank you for sharing ❤

Anyone take meds for their PD? Mine are strictly for Bipolar but they help with the PD as well, like helping my impulse control.
 
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