You will allways find people who will dislike you.
But you also will meet people who will like you, focus on them and let the others fuck themselves.
I think we all have experienced things like that, Like when you meet a person who firstly is nice with you and then it changes. Sometimes it is because of some other people doing gossip against you, other times is because you have made or said something normal to you but somehow offensive for them... who knows.
Social anxiety is a bitch, but it can be defeated.
Learn to don't give a fuck about what or what not people can or can not be thinking about you, because, at the end of the day, who cares if that particular person don't like you? Are they really that important?
They only have power on you if you allow them to have it.
When it comes to you, you are the one in control. Don't give this control to others.
I allways tend to be nice and polite, " please" " thanks" " if you don't mind" " forgive me if" are things that allways are in my mouth.
I try to be kind to everybody, but sometimes it simply doesn't work.
When I have tried to be nice to a person and such person, for any reason, dislike me I just move on. Not a second thought about them anymore. Never, as they don't deserve it at all.
Also you said you suffer because some of these dudes develope a negative mindset about you, let's be honest here: do you only have positive opinions about absolutely everybody?
Didn't you ever think positively about people and then grew to dislike them for whatever reason?
These things happen, Michael...
As for basing your experience on people you find at the gym, let me tell you, there are a lot of good people going there, but gyms are also full of unineuronal beings, narcisist self- centered folks who really can't see any further than their bíceps, so don't get those places as a reference.
Thanks for the insightful, well-written post, Senor Moreno. Your second sentence, first paragraph, sentence should be addressed. You wrote: "But you also will meet people who will like you, focus on them and let the others fuck themselves." The problem, however, is that I cannot find anyone who truly likes me. This isn't just an at-the-gym thing -- this happens everywhere; cashiers at supermarkets, strangers with a contemptuous look as I pass by them on the streets, and so on.
Your second point: "Learn to don't give a fuck about what or what not people can or can not be thinking about you ..." This is a good mindset. However, it happens SO often that it erodes my self-esteem and self-confidence. If these were one-off occasions it wouldn't rattle me so much. But this is a near-daily occurrence. It's a snowball effect -- I'm already socially anxious and the more crap I get from people simply exacerbates the condition.
I've been told, "fake it till you make it" in the past. I've tried this but, once again, people want little to do with me after they realize how awkward and strange I am. These people genuinely believe I have some type of mental defect.
Third, you asked me this: "let's be honest here -- do you only have positive opinions about absolutely everybody?" The answer: "no". Having said that, though, I still remain respectful towards people I don't really like. I do not, insult, mock, ridicule, laugh at, etc. to anyone, even if I don't like the person. I'm extremely civil. But a lot of people don't respond in kind.
You then wrote this: "Didn't you ever think positively about people then grew to dislike them for whatever reason?" The answer is "yes". But I STILL treat those people with respect. I just try to avoid interactions with them.
As per your final sentence, it's not just the gym, though this has happened many times at the gym; I get talking to others than 2 weeks later they dislike and ridicule me due to my lack of social skills and general awkwardness.
A question for you, Senor Moreno. How often do people mock you in a week? For me, it's nearly every time I set outside the house. I try to brush off insults but it's hard. They still sting and further lower my self-esteem.
