How are all of you doing this seemed like a great positive thread. The kind people like me see and have hope. I’m also trying to stop fent. Everyday is sad and a struggle I have no joys in this anymore and really hoping for a week window from work to finally get this done I’ve also failed a few times. I was able to kick this easier back then abut after soo many it gets harder and harder. I know what you mean about day 3 and 4. The last time I got a week off work about two months ago. I went 8/9 days clean but my dumb ass took some after inducting onto sub as I made it to sub, 1 won’t hurt. Well as in having to restart from day 5 out of 9. 4 days wasn’t enough to give me the courage to return to work. A lot of times I really consider quitting work to get this done. But I have a family to support and I’m the only provider. So I force myself to more and more shitty days of being on this shit. And it’s depressing. Time just goes by and I’m in survival, no joys.
This next time , hopefully soon, I’m doing what was recommended earlier. Getting rid of the stash, handing my keys , deleting numbers. And going thru it.
I was always doing with a crutch “safety stash” and I can’t do that anymore. I was on subs living a lot better and I always gave myself a few celebration days and it turned into this. We love dealing with pain i guess….. much love to all of you. Life is much more beautiful without this bs. Honestly it’s the crappiest thing on the menu…. Does nothing but hold you off. For me I get anxiety from it, can’t sleep, it’s terrible for me. And while keeping a professional job. No bueno. Much love
