• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

omg girlfriend said something that upset me a lot!! :(

Honestly, how you invest your own money is a very private and personal decision; unless you're a licensed financial advisor, I would keep your opinions to yourself and tell her that while you respect her opinion, you'll invest your own money however you like, and it's none of her business how you do it (say it nicer than that). Your position is perfectly reasonable; after this financial crisis, it makes perfect sense to avoid putting your money on Wall Street. At the same time, she is entitled to her opinion as well.

Seems like such a stupid thing to argue about. Neither of you really seem to know what you're talking about either.

Just don't say anything about it and ignore the issue. Leave it alone, you can't tell her what to do. Either accept her as she is or dump her, don't try to tell her what to do.
 
^ Tis not very private to me at all how I invest my money. Why would it be? I will not keep my opinion to myself on something important. I keep my opinion to myself if her pants dont fit her butt, which never happens btw :p

I wasnt trying to save her from losing money. I was trying to show her that stock market is like the sales position that she had and hated. Which she now agrees.

Yes she is entitled to her opinion. I would never try to rob her of that.

I have a basic idea of stocks and a very thorough understanding of corporations.

Just about everything seems stupid to argue about. It should be a great thing to discuss though imo.

I actually was going to drop it until I found some concrete factual evidence to put beside my point. I don't think I even need to now as it feels much more resolved.

I accept her as she is, someone who is growing and changing just like me, and I am not telling her what to do. I would never tell her how to think, but I will attempt to show her something if I feel she has gone wrong in an understanding, just as she does me. I can lead a kitten to water, but I can't make her drink.
 
Yeah, thats what i meant by tl;dr ... :p

well if it was tldr than you shouldnt be commenting on it because u dont even know what the hell your talking about lol, and then your judging me and calling me names after u havnt even read it or heard me out?

...
 
^ Tis not very private to me at all how I invest my money. Why would it be? I will not keep my opinion to myself on something important. I keep my opinion to myself if her pants dont fit her butt, which never happens btw :p

I wasnt trying to save her from losing money. I was trying to show her that stock market is like the sales position that she had and hated. Which she now agrees.

Yes she is entitled to her opinion. I would never try to rob her of that.

I have a basic idea of stocks and a very thorough understanding of corporations.

Just about everything seems stupid to argue about. It should be a great thing to discuss though imo.

I actually was going to drop it until I found some concrete factual evidence to put beside my point. I don't think I even need to now as it feels much more resolved.

I accept her as she is, someone who is growing and changing just like me, and I am not telling her what to do. I would never tell her how to think, but I will attempt to show her something if I feel she has gone wrong in an understanding, just as she does me. I can lead a kitten to water, but I can't make her drink.

Lol dude, you are so passionate on the randomest topic.
 
well if it was tldr than you shouldnt be commenting on it because u dont even know what the hell your talking about lol, and then your judging me and calling me names after u havnt even read it or heard me out?

...

I read/heard all I needed to. Your reaction was way over the top. But it's good to hear that you aren't going to "force your opinions on her" or what not. But your reaction was still way over the top. If I was otherwise happy in a relationship, I couldn't care less about her politics ... if they were different than mine maybe we'd have a spirited debate from time to time, all in good fun, but ""omg upset a lot?"" please.
 
^ well bro it wasn't just that she thought that way lol. That wasn't the main reason I felt upset. If she had of just told me she liked investing in stocks and I was like ohh hmm ya? Then said well I dont like stocks, but lets talk about it later, then it wouldnt have upset me.

It was the fact that we talked about it for the whole fucking subway ride and that she was like defending this thing that didnt fit her normal values at all so vehemently. It was also that I we had a hard time hugging each-other after because we had just an argument. Plus she was on the bus and like going "SHHHH STFU EVERYONE IS LISTENING" lol. Then 3 minutes later she would be giving a lecture to the bus... Then I would be like "your giving a lecture to the bus" etc etc... I just hate shit like that man. I feel like a moron after. At the same time it seems to help sometimes though... Like she had to really examine things, today.

She was upset too. She sent me a text msg after saying we dealt like that like tards and we shouldn't argue. I totally agree. I can't stand arguing. I rarely let myself argue. Its only when I really care about someone and they are like defending a point that I feel they are going to hurt themselves or me or someone els with that I get all Rawr over!

n Ya bro I would never want her to like bend to be someone shes not just to satisfy my need to view her a certain way. Ultimately her opinion is just as valid as mine imo. I probably couldn't fucking twist it even if I wanted to anyway...

She goes " I made up my mind and I have thought about it in great detail already. I will never change my views on this" lol =)
 
Last edited:
Lol dude, you are so passionate on the randomest topic.

haha ^_^ Its true.. it totally can be random things.

If u notice though its usually topics where someone is trying to dominate or fuck over someone who is vulnerable. I remember when I was 4 years old, this kid Adrian pushed a girl I liked off the swing. So the next day at the start of kindergarten, just before we go inside the school, I walk up to him and his father and say "BLUE POWER RANGER GO!!" do some funny hand signal thing, and proceed to punch this poor kid repeatedly in the face. In-front of his father! Poor little guy had a really bloody nose and cried so loud. He was never the same after that...seriously :(

I remember his dad was all like "OMG OMG what the hell did you do that for???" I just strolled into school and sat down like nothing happened. I don't think I thought I would get in trouble. My poor Mom lol. Oh man... kids will b kids :p
 
uhh what? Saying I don't want any conservative bs ideas, for example "women should stay in the kitchen where they belong," coming in contact with my girlfriend's beautiful spirit doesn't sound like something I should say about someone I love?

right...

I think double ewe might have read that wrong by accident... not sure.

Yah well imagine if your BF said that he was going to start trying to invest in Mcdonalds shares

lol... would definitely be a deal breaker!

Honestly, how you invest your own money is a very private and personal decision; unless you're a licensed financial advisor, I would keep your opinions to yourself and tell her that while you respect her opinion, you'll invest your own money however you like, and it's none of her business how you do it (say it nicer than that).

Really? You don't think in partnerships, decisions about where and how to invest large sums of money should be made together? I guess every relationship is different... my partner and I have our own money but one of us wouldn't go buy a car without talking to the other first. I would think of an investment as a similar thing.. it's a big decision.

If I was otherwise happy in a relationship, I couldn't care less about her politics ... if they were different than mine maybe we'd have a spirited debate from time to time, all in good fun, but ""omg upset a lot?"" please.

I respect that, and there is nothing wrong with being that way, but I hope you can also respect that for some of us, myself included, having a partner that sees eye to eye with us on certain matters whether political, spiritual, financial, whatever IS a very important thing. Your partner has to support your lifestyle to some degree or it won't work. You sort of make it sound like this some silly, petty little thing, but she's talking about making some major investments here.

I can't see how political/worldview stuff couldn't matter in a relationship, if one was looking for a serious life partner.
 
What she wants to do with her money should be up to her. As long as she can contribute sufficiently to the relationship lifestyle in which you two surely have already formed, I think you should let this go.

I don't see anything wrong with her beliefs. I think you think you're a whole lot smarter than you actually are. Your words lose merit for the precise reasons your girlfriend pointed out to you. You could actually learn a bit yourself here, rather than trying to mentor your girlfriend.
 
Nah she wants to save the world. Shes talking about maximizing the most ammount of money right now so she can do something with it. She wants to build all girls schools in another country or something. I told her thats great!! Her attitude is better to have the money in my hands than other peoples hands.

Shes already is as secure as anyone could ever ask for.
It sounds like together you guys have the power to save the world. She has the business/money-making oriented mind, you have the humanitarian mind, together you guys could make a great team. Maybe you should try to comprimise more, even if you have to bend a little bit. I really think you guys can find some kind of mutual understanding... It's give & take though. Comprimise. It can't always be your way..
 
I really can't understand the moral aversion to shareholding. Despite it's flaws, capitalistic finance has catalyzed the changes that have led to increasingly higher standards of living for more people than ever before in history. Personally I'd rather we all still lived as savages, I mean it, but them was the ol' days. It's pointless to resist the trends driving the world today in my opinion. There is so much inertia behind our way of living now that it cannot ever be stopped anyway, so why get all worked up about it. It's gonna implode eventually, it sucks for some people in the meantime...but guess what! Life ain't about what's fair or what you think is right. It's about competition, and opportunity. Grab that banana before the next monkey does. Some win, some lose, life has worked that way since day one. So really man, why take it out on yourself -- the only thing you can salvage from this strange world? May as well enjoy it as best you can, not get all bent out of shape about a bunch of anti-corporate propaganda.
 
I respect that, and there is nothing wrong with being that way, but I hope you can also respect that for some of us, myself included, having a partner that sees eye to eye with us on certain matters whether political, spiritual, financial, whatever IS a very important thing. Your partner has to support your lifestyle to some degree or it won't work. You sort of make it sound like this some silly, petty little thing, but she's talking about making some major investments here.

I can't see how political/worldview stuff couldn't matter in a relationship, if one was looking for a serious life partner.

You & I agree on seeing eye to eye on spiritual matters, this came up in another thread.

But political matters? I.e., where things are totally fucked up, but are totally beyond our control, q.v. Cilosyb, supra:

cilosyb said:
It's pointless to resist the trends driving the world today in my opinion. There is so much inertia behind our way of living now that it cannot ever be stopped anyway, so why get all worked up about it. It's gonna implode eventually, it sucks for some people in the meantime...but guess what! Life ain't about what's fair or what you think is right. It's about competition, and opportunity. Grab that banana before the next monkey does. Some win, some lose, life has worked that way since day one. So really man, why take it out on yourself -- the only thing you can salvage from this strange world? May as well enjoy it as best you can, not get all bent out of shape about a bunch of anti-corporate propaganda.

Now, in my heart of hearts, I'm some sort of anarchist, philosophically speaking. I'm no cheerleader for Corporate America .... that shit disgusts me. But what disgusts me even more is that people who think they can make one iota of difference by relatively minor things like purchasing decisions. When you buy into that, you buy into another philosophical tenent of consumerism, that what you buy somehow defines you. It doesn't. What you believe and what you feel and who you love defines you.

And I'm as in favor of far out political ideas as you are, probably. But come the fuck on and back to reality. Utopia will never be reached. Much the less by whether or not you hold stocks lol. You won't save the world. The idea that you have the "power" to do so is laughably grandiose. You and your girl are both just cogs in a machine. So enjoy life and don't argue with shorty over abstractions. Well, argue in good fun, but don't get "omg really upset." Find an outlet for your politics, write a blog, go to a demonstration or something. I'd read your blog if it were any good and I might stand holding a big old sign next to you. But at the end of the day, is this something worth getting bent at the woman you love over? That's ridiculous.

I guess what I'm objecting to is an idealistic worldview--always a dangerous, not to mention obnoxious thing--misplaced. Things you should be deeply cynical about? Politics and economics. Things you should be idealistic about? Love relationships.
 
Last edited:
Haha, well, my two cents on the "shoe issue," even though it`s mostly irrelevant to the discussion: Nike doesn`t "force" you to wear Nike`s. If you really wanted to, you could find independently made shoes. I can walk to my local Mall and find them, even. There are a few minor companies that aren`t affiliated with the big shoe companies that have wide distribution (MacBeth for instance, which you can find at any Journeys store). Beyond that, speaking of hand-crafted, the internet is your oyster. Ordering online will solve all your problems.

I fail to see why you made such a huge deal out of this. People are different from each other; sometimes our significant others have vastly different beliefs, and it makes the relationship highly engaging. My last was a Catholic, and I`m mostly non-religious. We made it work. Just live and let live.
 
There have been many good points!

Yes cilosyb we are all cogs in a machine as you put it. I find the attitude that it is that way already so just go with it. I mean, everyones doing it, right? To be kinda disturbing lol. I see what you saying, but we both have the power to live fully fulfilling lives without owning stocks in some shitty companies. Your right, ultimately its all gonna go to hell in a hand basket anyway, and our little choices arn't going to make a world of difference, but at least at the end of the day we can go to sleep knowing we did pretty damn good and at least we are not in over our heads in take take take.

and for the like the fifth time. It wasnt just that she wanted to own a bunch of stocks that upset me, it was the way we dealt with it, mostly, that upset me!

Somekindalove: I fail to see the boundary between spiritual and political matters. Seriously. If u say that anything which falls under political matters doesnt count towards your spiritual well being than you can pretty much just go on a murdering political rampage and think it will have no effect on your spirit.

I'm not like some activist dude who goes out there with signs. I guess I might if someone really shitty like them trying to take free health care away was happening... Seriously, I think you think that I am more of a goody 2 shoe than I am. I just draw the line at owning McDonald's.

I talked to her after and said "I would just be really dissapointed if u went and baught a Mcdonalds," and she was like "I Would never do that!!" and I was like owning stocks in Mcdonalds is the same thing!! She was just like "Ohh... I guess ur right."



Another thing that I think you guys are misconstruing is that I was not jeapordizing our relationship. Our relationship is like a rock. It would take an incredible amount of carelessness on both our parts to fuck things up.

Inedible: Your right. Truth is I don't care that much. As I said before, I am not some idealistic anti capitolist extremist. I don't care that much!! I just don't want to have ownership of it because then its even more bs on my hands.

I made such a big deal of it because I find owning a Mcdonalds and preying on people to be far off from differing religions. I can't stand the idea of my girl preying on people. She is catholic too, even though she dissess it all the time, and I don't believe in any sort of man in the sky.. I don't even know if she does. That kinda shit I dont care about.
 
But what disgusts me even more is that people who think they can make one iota of difference by relatively minor things like purchasing decisions.

Why wouldn't purchases make a difference? They make a huge difference. I'm in charge of stocking and keeping track of inventory at a grocery store for my job. I watch closely what sells and what doesn't. When stuff doesn't sell, we don't get more of it. If it does, we get a lot. It's a slow process but all of that eventually works it's way up. Supply and demand is what runs the world.... every single person has a vote in that.
 
Reading your post is so frustrating. If she wants to invest that money and then go out and use the profits to build all girls school in some other country where they need it what is the issue? She's using her money to make more money in order to service others.

The way you're speaking about corporations is incredibly ignorant.

I hope for her to realize that shares are not consistant with her values. Which I believe they are not. I hope to be able to kiss her at night without thinking omfg my girl is part of the whole take take take system in a major way!!

This is insane. You're saying that to hold shares in a corporation would be wrong because corporations are involved in "taking" or using people or whatever. Investing your money is a smart thing. People actively chose to get involved with retail companies. They chose to purchase things.

Regardless of your personal views on corporations and the culture, I don't think you fully realize where the world would be without the capitalist model that corporations, banks, large financial institutions, etc. are the framework for.

If you have such a problem with it you need to tell her so. If she continues to hold her beliefs, that the world can exist with sound financial investment and that it isn't an atrocity to do so, you have one of two options.

One, suck it up and never bring it up again knowing that she will do with her money as she pleases. Knowing that it will eat at you like nothing else and you will forever stress over it.

Two, let her go. Find someone who holds your same values on money and "the Man".
 
mynameisnotdeja said:
Why wouldn't purchases make a difference? They make a huge difference. I'm in charge of stocking and keeping track of inventory at a grocery store for my job. I watch closely what sells and what doesn't. When stuff doesn't sell, we don't get more of it. If it does, we get a lot. It's a slow process but all of that eventually works it's way up. Supply and demand is what runs the world.... every single person has a vote in that.
^ I totally agree notdeja. I didn't get wtf he was saying. Its like obviously my purchase is just a tiny tiny tiny little drop in the bucket, but little leaks can sink a big ship!

Also, he said that I would be buying into the whole consumerist attitude that my purchases define me if I thought not to buy certain things because I wanted to be counter culture or something. Well.... Its not so much that I care about what defines me or what doesnt, its that I care about how my decisions are affecting others. I'm not a nazi about it, but I try to be a good lad if I can help it.

Purchases can definitely be a defining thing anyway. If you buy a sports car cuz u like it, obviously it says something about u. If u ride a limo to work everyday, it says something about u. If u buy only thrift store stuff, it says something about you.

Okay, let me clarify a little.

Sure, boycotting companies who's policies disagree with you might have some effect if done on a large scale, but what troubles me is people who believe that doing so can substitute for real political consciousness. In a consumer culture like ours, it is very easy to do so. And the corporations love it when we think this way.

Take for instance this advertising campaign, and many others from the same source which is so over-the-top disgustingly saccharine as to almost serve as a parody of the style of corporate propaganda I am speaking about. Corporations have being going off at the hip about how eco-friendly and otherwise positive they are in the world for some time now, because they realize that it can make money for them. Look at Google's ludicrous "don't be evil" motto, and realize Google is probably one of the most evil corporations out there ...

Back to our hippie toothpaste. Now realize that Tom's of Maine is a fully owned subsidiary of the Colgate-Palmolive company, which is where, presumably, this former small hippie-owned business got the loot to engage in the above sleek advertising campaign. Buy Tom's of maine, and sure, it may be natural, the subdivision of the corporation that you are buying from might have some smiley-face policies, but ultimately, you are still giving your money to a big fuck-off corporation.

Of course this is not entirely analogous to your situation, but it serves to illustrate one instance of corporate America utilizing the type of attitude I'm describing, "what I buy defines me," e.g. "if I buy all-naturally/locally-sourced/eco-friendly/whatever schwag then I am making a meaningful difference in the world," or it's inverse, "if I refrain from buying things which are not {whatever}, I help make a difference in stamping out {whatever}." If you buy into this philosophy sufficiently enough, you abdicate your responsibility to really think deeply about politics or act in a meaningful way, and you play right into the hand of the corporatists. They are not threatened by you taking your few dollars one place or another. In fact, they'd love you to do so, if it means that you don't actually go any deeper with your political activity than that. It's all a ruse. It lets you feel like you are being socially conscious when really you're just another consumer, defined by what you counsume, pacified by media, and not thinking an original thought in your life.

(Now is that you? I don't know. This isn't a political thread, I don't really know in detail your politics. But noddy's post above is well-taken too, to one extent or another.)
 
Okay, let me clarify a little.

Sure, boycotting companies who's policies disagree with you might have some effect if done on a large scale, but what troubles me is people who believe that doing so can substitute for real political consciousness. In a consumer culture like ours, it is very easy to do so. And the corporations love it when we think this way.

Take for instance this advertising campaign, and many others from the same source which is so over-the-top disgustingly saccharine as to almost serve as a parody of the style of corporate propaganda I am speaking about. Corporations have being going off at the hip about how eco-friendly and otherwise positive they are in the world for some time now, because they realize that it can make money for them. Look at Google's ludicrous "don't be evil" motto, and realize Google is probably one of the most evil corporations out there ...

Back to our hippie toothpaste. Now realize that Tom's of Maine is a fully owned subsidiary of the Colgate-Palmolive company, which is where, presumably, this former small hippie-owned business got the loot to engage in the above sleek advertising campaign. Buy Tom's of maine, and sure, it may be natural, the subdivision of the corporation that you are buying from might have some smiley-face policies, but ultimately, you are still giving your money to a big fuck-off corporation.

Of course this is not entirely analogous to your situation, but it serves to illustrate one instance of corporate America utilizing the type of attitude I'm describing, "what I buy defines me," e.g. "if I buy all-naturally/locally-sourced/eco-friendly/whatever schwag then I am making a meaningful difference in the world," or it's inverse, "if I refrain from buying things which are not {whatever}, I help make a difference in stamping out {whatever}." If you buy into this philosophy sufficiently enough, you abdicate your responsibility to really think deeply about politics or act in a meaningful way, and you play right into the hand of the corporatists. They are not threatened by you taking your few dollars one place or another. In fact, they'd love you to do so, if it means that you don't actually go any deeper with your political activity than that. It's all a ruse. It lets you feel like you are being socially conscious when really you're just another consumer, defined by what you counsume, pacified by media, and not thinking an original thought in your life.

(Now is that you? I don't know. This isn't a political thread, I don't really know in detail your politics. But noddy's post above is well-taken too, to one extent or another.)

I used to think that way... and then I got to college and declared Advertising as my major. =D

Given that human interaction/communication is part symbolic, there's nothing that gives an advertiser a bigger hard-on than you attaching some arbitrary meaning relevant to your interests to a product they are hawking. True story, bro. 8o
 
Top