sleeping pains
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 70
BL dope users said:
I'm beginning to understand these kind of comments now...sort of. I realize it's extremely common among BL's heroin addicts - I've seen this attitude from at least some ppl in almost every single dope thread. I'm talking about the whole macho, dope-king, romanticized-Heroin-addict kind of attitude: that act/persona so many addicts seem to have when they sink into really bad addiction. it's the kind of mentalities such as, “my habit is bigger than your habit (and that makes me more awesome!)”, or the whole “dope’s a real drug, the rest are just for pussies / little kids (which means you're a little pussy!)”, etc. Obviously not everyone addicted to heroin acts like this, I’m just pointing out an observation I've had in terms of how dope addicts talk about the lifestyle to others - especially on the internet, on Bluelight and similar forums. it's very interesting to me actually. it’s like, when an addict is at such a devastating point in their life, being enslaved/dominated by this drug, they paradoxically become more confident - at least they act as such - and then they end up presenting an increased level of dignity, self-satisfaction, and just all-around "cred" for being where they are in life...even when they're talking about extremely sad, desperate situations. I wonder how many junkies actually feel this way tho, even when they talk as such - is it just a mask some addicts wear? or maybe a coping mechanism or something? I’ve personally experienced this feeling a little bit (just inside my own head though) with other drugs I've been addicted to (like speed), but never to a large extent or for very long. this phenomenon seems strangely specific to ppl who are very seriously addicted to heroin, at least from my experience. and also pretty exclusive (or at least more common/passable) in online drug forums. maybe it’s a cultural thing; I mean, in the mainstream heroin is considered a kind of "forbidden fruit", and moreso in the drug culture where it’s considered the “king of all drugs" by many. so I could understand why a user might feel these things, or at least convey these things to others. it's just interesting how as the addiction gets worse (i.e. user increases from 2 bags a day to 5, or switches from sniffing to IV, etc.) they actually seem - at least to others - somehow more thrilled about their situation, about being more experienced with the "king of all drugs" I guess. the way it's talked about, heroin users seem like they're part of some secret exclusive club with has a hierarchy that places the most addicted users at the top. yet to regular ppl, being addicted to dope - not to mention being the most seriously addicted in a community of other addicts - is almost always considered a negative thing, not something to be proud of (think losing money/possessions/jobs, destroying arms with needles, being a slave to the "dope man", etc, etc, etc). I mean, obviously it's not logical - or right, of course - to judge someone's character based on their addiction. that's simply ignorant and simply wrong. yet the opposite reasoning - that the worse the addiction, the more awesome the addict - definitely has with it's own problems...
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