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November Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Thankful for Sobriety!

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I just messed up from a year sober. Staying sober that's the obstacle . I'm always anticipating a spiritual feeling for staying sober.
With bad anxiety kolopin helps but I can't get any peace of mind when taking them.
This sucks its 4 am and I'm counting sheep.
Advice anyone
 
Awesome dude, I'm in dire straits coming off Benzos opiates and Kratom. Lucky I didn't drink this Tims (alcohol is my doc)
Please advice I need it. Kratom is weird some days seem like a dream.
 
Congrats to all the folks here that put another day on their sobriety calendar! Keep at it gotit4cheap...it isn't all willpower it is mostly desire! You got that desire, and an addict with a desire is a force to be reckoned with (try to stop an addict that wants to use from scoring!)

sirnatural: did you taper your benzos down? This is extremely helpful. You should also be doing this taper under medical supervision.
 
sirnatural said:
I just messed up from a year sober. Staying sober that's the obstacle . I'm always anticipating a spiritual feeling for staying sober.
With bad anxiety kolopin helps but I can't get any peace of mind when taking them.
This sucks its 4 am and I'm counting sheep.
Advice anyone
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kratom, and if you need help sleeping i just got out of detox and they were giving me trazodone and when i got out they gave me a prescription for it. it knocks you the fuck out, similar to seroquil except traz gives u a fuckin hard on lol but id recommend it.

manboychef said:
Congrats to all the folks here that put another day on their sobriety calendar! Keep at it gotit4cheap...it isn't all willpower it is mostly desire! You got that desire, and an addict with a desire is a force to be reckoned with (try to stop an addict that wants to use from scoring!)
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thanks brother! I remember when i was posting last month you were the one who kept responding and trying to help me. i appreciate that bro. this is my 2nd day in 6 years i havent had any opiate even suboxone in me. i literally never thought i would be able to do that ever.
 
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Just thought I would stop by and say hello to CH and my other BL sober "friends." It has been some time since I posted: I continue to take only the medications prescribed by my pain management doctor, and hope to attempt another taper after the first of January. I am currently reading a book that I learned about here on BL called Junky by W.S. Burroughs....it seems like an excellent account of the life of an addict back in the author's day. ( I am currently at the part where he is living in New Orleans). He had to work very hard to get his drugs, whether by prescription or on the streets! The book does talk about how hard it is to taper off of opiates.. I can vouch for that!
Thank you to whomever mentioned it.
 
Whats up bro. hope it all works well for you and you can eventually get off the pills. keep doing your thing just stay in control and you are good.
 
Junky is a great book i'm currently reading Naked Lunch. Hope you're able to get off those pills eventually and try some alternative pain managetment dude. It's a great feeling to be completely clean off everything really clears your mind and lets you feel emotions good and bad.
 
Escape and CH: Thanks for sharing your current reading material. I read a few reviews of each, and wow! quite a range of opinions out there... and strong ones, at that.
However, they sound interesting enough to be added to my "books to be read this winter" list.
 
8 days ago I gave in to the craving to get high and abused my Lyrica medication. I was supposed to take only 100mg a day and I suddenly popped 600mg all at once and got some visual and balance disturbances as effects, nothing massively euphoric. I had been sober for almost 4 months before that. Maybe I should tell my psychiatrist that I think Lyrica is bad for me because I'm recovering from addiction, and try something like buspirone instead for my anxiety. I just read a relatively recent article that described how buspirone and melatonin combined can help with depression and anxiety. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22998742
 
polymath said:
8 days ago I gave in to the craving to get high and abused my Lyrica medication. I was supposed to take only 100mg a day and I suddenly popped 600mg all at once and got some visual and balance disturbances as effects, nothing massively euphoric. I had been sober for almost 4 months before that. Maybe I should tell my psychiatrist that I think Lyrica is bad for me because I'm recovering from addiction, and try something like buspirone instead for my anxiety. I just read a relatively recent article that described how buspirone and melatonin combined can help with depression and anxiety. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22998742
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Part of recovery is knowing your limitations. Good move my friend.
 
I'm so angry at me right now.

I'm day 2 into withdrawal from a massive 5 week i.v./i.m. fentanyl run. I was clean for 8 monts before that and started dabbling into opiates in september. Right now I'm viditing my uni with my girlfrirnd and just thought about how I graduated 1.5 years ago. I have such a good life, why do I resort to drugs when they ruin everything?
 
It is not a weakness as you think my friend. Your brain has been rewired to crave these things and it is almost impossible to resist most times. I would suggest working on your thought stopping, and forecasting techniques. Both of those will help you beat cravings.

Please don't look at this as a moral failing, or a brand of stupidity. If it were there wouldn't be so many relapses on opiates.

Good morning! Having some rough anxiety today. I can't put my finger on what it is, but something is wrong. I am especially wary today. It is like I am on guard or something. I am going to tough it out and if it doesn't go away from by seven fifteen I am going to take a benzo.
 
Sorry to those feeling down after slips..

I haven't even been taking my Adderall rx, and I am out of weed. So I am 100% sober
 
36 hours into withdrawal and I crave like a motherfucker for hours. I know I will only feel relief for a few hours at most and then I'll go back into the misery I endure now plus extra feelings of guilt and self-loathing. I'm always cravin for that "one last high". If only a few hours of relief weren't so tempting...

EDIT: One hour later and cravings seem to subside a bit now. Crazy how feelings can change from one minute to another

<3
 
Just keep ya eyes on the prize my man. If I can do it anyone can. Just remember it's temporary and you can use certain meds to help u
 
Jackie: Good going on being 100% sober.... Amazing!!! VanWeyden: You reminded me of something a dear friend told me during my first time in recovery, years back: An addict/alcoholic will all have times they forget the misery of addiction and will want to get high again... that is why we go to meetings, no matter how boring ( or frustrating,etc.) we find them. They are like an insurance policy: they remind us of our early days, well, every time a newcomer shares, and we learn to never pick up, one day at a time. So, that is just one suggestion for keeping long term recovery...hitting some type of recovery oriented meeting, once or twice a month.

I had not attended a meeting for over a year when I decided that I could handle pain medication, prescribed to me after an auto accident. So wrong! I am still taking them, years later, although I had one year clean back in 2013. Yes, I am in pain, but honestly, I would be able to manage my pain with non opioid solutions if I really wanted to.
Now that you are into detoxing, do not pick up again!!! It simply isn't worth it!!!!
 
Thanks gotit4cheap, pokemama & manboy! You are so supportive!

Yesterday was a really really bad day. I had crippling depression and cravings like I didn't experience for a long long time. I really wasn't sure how to stay sober because the thoughts of using where overwhelming I barely could talk me out of it.
I managed to hit the gym somehow which didn't improve anything at first but a few hours later I felt a lot better, almost no cravings and a positive outlook on my life.

I can make it!

The only symptoms I feel right now are restless arms/legs which kept me from sleeping and some cold chills, but that's totally bearable.

Later a good friend of mine will come over and we'll spent some time and cook.
 
Thats good that you got out of bed bro, it's good for withdrawals produces natural endorphins- I couldn't do that shit so you're stronger than me I would just sit in bed. If it gets too untolerable, buy some kratom and take like 2-3, not too much just enough to take the edge off. but if you can withstand it completely cold turkey def do that. let us know how you're doing mane.
 
VanWeyden: Wow... I am impressed... you are one determined person! The only thing I would add, which you probably already do, is to stay really well hydrated, especially b/c you are working out. I was very weak in the beginning of my cold turkey, so I would walk around the block for my beginning exercise. So, listen to your body, and adjust accordingly, so that you can stay sober for the long haul. As for having a friend come over, and then engaging in a creative activity like cooking is like the number 1 most important activity as it focuses on having support and also having some fun in recovery.... have a great time!
 
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