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Noisy neighbor

cduggles said:
Hmmm... there’s no advice prefix. I need life advice.

So I live in a high rise and the next door neighbor is a kind of older lady. I haven’t had much interaction with her, but she seems nice enough.

However, her TV is always blaring if she is home. I can even tell what music is playing on her TV and it is almost constantly on, during the night too. I think she falls asleep with it on or something.

I have a few options. I can complain to management/security and they can tell her to turn it down, I can leave her a note or I can talk to her.

The only wrinkle is that I think she is hard of hearing and lonely. I have a relative like that and I know how hard it is for some people who kind of use the TV for company.

But at 3AM when I can’t back to sleep or when I’m trying to sit at my desk (which abuts the wall we share), I want to bang on the wall.

What should I do?
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Leave her an anonymous but polite note (with a smiley face drawn on it) - taped or stuck to her door. If that doesn't work, mail one to her (anonymously). If that doesn't work, ask your landlord/management company for help. If none of that works, put on a porn movie on TV at 3am, then turn it up loud and bang on the wall repeatedly like your headboard is hitting it while you moan loudly - repeat as needed.
 
thujone said:
the landlord is probably legally obligated to do something about it,
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We have a building manager and security and they are great at responding to complaints. At the very least, we have hours that you have to be quiet (like at night) and she’s definitely violating them.

I’m going to ask our building manager for advice. She’s cool and doesn’t escalate situations. She probably knows the neighbor (she lives on our floor, too).
 
cduggles said:
Truth. I can hear it blaring now and it’s really aggravating. 😤
I’ll nip this in the bud, but today I’ve got other stuff to do.
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In the meantime, a good quality pair of ear plugs will work miracles and are also comfortable to sleep with.

And if you really want to be able to hear absolutely zero sound, a well designed pair of ear muffs and ear plugs combined.
 
@Deru The low frequency sound/vibration (I think) goes past even soft ear plugs. It’s got to be right up against the wall.

I used Ambien and listened to white noise through headphones to drown it out and get back to sleep.

I’m going to talk to the manager today if she’s around, tomorrow if not.

Her TV is blaring right now!!!! 🤬 She never turns that thing off.
 
once lived next to a crazy lady in menopause who would call noise control the cops 24/7 over literally nothing harrasing everybody acutal nutcase. The cops and noise control were always lovely. Moved out of that area. Some people are truly fucked in the head. She would be the one making hella noise. I told the cops you need to find her professional help.

Living in apartment style buildings that are not built to the modern standards of blocking out all outside noises is pretty annoying. Idk if i could put up with all that extra noise.

Why do people leave the tv on 24/7 thats a waste of a power bill and pisses everybody off. I would call security and get them to tell her to fucking turn it off after 11 pm.

Been living rurally for a while now but i am moving back into the city so i hope i don't get any fuckwit neighbors like this
 
That's what I used to run into when I lived in the downtown area of the city and the traffic would make it impossible to sleep with the low frequency noises, and even some higher frequency nosies, and ear plugs. That's where the ear muffs come in, but it's tricky to find a pair that is comfortable. I used to get some of the most deep and restful sleep with that combo, though, even when it sounded like urban insanity outside.
 
So here’s an update:

I went to talk to my building manager just for advice. It did not turn out the way I expected.

I asked what to do, and asked her not to do anything but advise me. She told me that she would handle it and there is a new policy (which I unsurprisingly didn’t read) to report this stuff and let management handle it instead of contacting a neighbor directly after a rather sordid incident.

Apparently a couple was having loud sex, and the next door neighbor knocked on the door and asked the guy to keep it down. The two guys ended up in a fight and one guy got killed. The other guy was military so he’s screwed and the guy who died had a little kid. ☹️

Anyway, the TV is still blaring now and was blaring at 3AM last night.

At this point I’m aggravated and I have an important interview next week on Zoom and if her TV is on, it’s going to be a huge problem. For her.

Any thoughts?
 
Oh and by the way, she isn’t older. She just colors her hair a blond grey apparently. My sympathy has officially evaporated.
 
cduggles said:
Oh I’m down @schizopath. Sooooo down. Now that she’s not old and still blaring her TV, it’s on. I am so ready atm and if her TV is on before my interview, one way or another she’s going to turn it off. Believe.
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I would also record with my phone when her TV is blaring so that you have some proof of how loud it is.

I would have probably written a polite note and stuck it under her door, saying it’s from you and that you’re trying to respect social distancing. Be honest, say at the moment you’re having trouble sleeping and so say you’ve Zoom meetings for work and the TV blaring is causing issues.

It’s a hard spot to be in. I hope it gets resolved.
 
MsDiz said:
I would also record with my phone when her TV is blaring so that you have some proof of how loud it is.
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Great idea.
When I did it, you could see the lower frequencies register on the display while I was recording.
It was on at 4:30 AM, and it was loud. ☹️
I know it will get resolved, but thanks. 🙂
 
cduggles said:
Anyway, the TV is still blaring now and was blaring at 3AM last night.

At this point I’m aggravated and I have an important interview next week on Zoom and if her TV is on, it’s going to be a huge problem. For her.

Any thoughts?
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I'm stressed vicariously through you :( Sadly I don't think these situations ever get resolved quickly. I think people who annoy others with their lifestyle are usually mentally ill or flat out don't care and won't change their ways just as a petty little fuck-you to the world.

If it's possible, see if you can book an AirBnB just to cover the few days around the interview so you can get some rest, de-stress and prepare
 
Ugh, that sucks cdugs. I hope it gets resolved soon. I had some new neighbors move into the house across the street, and for the first couple of weeks, they would play music SO FUCKING LOUD until sometimes 2am. All you could hear was the bass but it literally shook my walls, it was maddening. I was about to the [point of going over to yell at them, when I noticed it had been a few days since the music was loud. Now I think it's only been loud maybe twice since then, and when the guy's wife comes home it gets turned down. I believe some other neighbors must have gone over and talked to them. I wonder how loud it was inside their house, if it could shake my walls through their walls and across 2 yards and a street.
 
Try talking to them first they your neighbours if it not stop try talking a little bit more but be not so nice if that don't help return the favor by blasting you music device really loud at the worse times early morning 4 am that should help
 
thujone said:
people who annoy others with their lifestyle are usually mentally ill or flat out don't care and won't change their ways just as a petty little fuck-you to the world.
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I also think this is true.
Things have actually gotten worse with the sound level and it’s all hours.
It will not, however, be on during my interview, if I have to call management or security.
Then I will solicit ideas to wreak my vengeance.
 
madness00 said:
I'm not really a vengeful person.

I couldn't care less.

Just avoid.
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Yeah I’m not very vengeful either. I tend to deal with things straight away because I literally have next to no patience with some things.

You’re too polite for your own good Dugz! Give her a good telling off.
 
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