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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(Nitrous Oxide) - Experienced - Life Changing Problems

Wow. Just wow.

I first discovered this thread after searching for more information following my first experience with a decent psychedelic (in my case it was psilocybin) and N20 combo.

I was so blown away by the experience and it was clear that the gas potentiated the effects of the psilocybin a millionfold. A gazilionfold! I can't describe (yet) how extraordinary an experience it was. It was a total fluke as well, I have taken many, many different drugs over my 33 years and have taken N20 on numerous occasions as well. I would normally have said "for some reason the two were never in the same place at the same time" but after an experience the other day I now know what that reason was. I'll (try) to explain that later.

I only skimmed the thread at the time, though I did read the entirity of the OP and knew that I would be returning someday to take part in this discussion. It wasn't the right time for me to relate my experience as I felt it warranted further investigation and experimentation by myself and without too much external influence to cloud my judgment. That was around a year ago. I now feel the time is right. I returned to this thread 2 days ago and have taken the time to read the whole thing in it's entirity. Every post, every sentance, every word, every letter, every link.

Firstly, to The Merry Prankster:

I know EXACTLY where you're coming from and your original trip report is, IMO, not only the best on bluelight it's the best on the entire internet. Hell, it might even be THE best single thing on the internet! After my initial fluke experience I wondered why I'd never heard of gascid (perfect expression!) before given my social circle and general disposition within the last few years to research what I was taking and to keep my ear to the ground for potential new and interesting experiments and how to carry them out (relatively) safely. I want to thank you deeply, from the bottom of my soul for writing it as I think with absolute certainty it saved me from making the mistake you made. If all you wanted was to help just one person avoid having to suffer your pain I can re-assure your mission was accomplished. I know myself well enough that I would have gone off the rails with my new discovery and although I have done much investigation with it since, I heeded your warning and have kept my intake moderate.

Your story was engaging and utterly compulsive reading. It's such a shame that your pioneering spirit has caused you such awful pain but knowing what I think I know now there will be a bigger reason for it than most people can imagine. I suspect you do too. I wish you every success in discovering methods that will help you manage your ailments, I know you won't ever give up so I just want to encourage you by saying I think the work you've done so far may be very worthwhile, possibly the most valuable so far in our species negotiating the next stage of evolution and of our understanding of the universe. Yes, the un-initiated may think it's crackpot and I'm as aware as you that it very well might be a total red herring and we're running up a blind alley. But we'll never know unless we try and I feel at the moment as if I've found my own truth and in what I've learnt from you so far I feel my truth at least broadly matches yours.

I hope that given further discussion with you and several others on here, we can "compare notes" and try as best we can to sort the fact from the fiction. I'd love to work on a "how to" guide with everyone who has worthwhile experience with gascid - it's certainly not for everyone but I believe in spreading the word so that those who are adventerous and open-minded enough to want to try, can do so in much safety as possible. I have so, so, so much more to contribute and feel certain there is even more than that for me to learn but this is all I have time for at the moment.

I will post again as soon as I can with more detail of my experiences and the theories I have formulated because of them.
 
He - No am fine talking about it. I find your mention of TV shows kind of curious. Are you talking about the stories - or the effects that the light from the TV has on you... :))
 
:)) Thanks for the very kind words. It really does make me very happy to read comments like this one as when I posted the original, I wasn't sure if *anyone* was going to read the entire thing. So I'm not only happy that so many did, but also thrilled at the amazing stuff that has come out of so many other people over the last ear or two.

I was in the very fortunate position recently to have come into possession of a tank of Nitrous and for the first time in a couple of years I got t revisit the realm that I love so dearly. Unfortunately I didn't have any acid available, but I did do some mushrooms with it and a variety of lesser enhancements. It took a while, but I ended up remembering so many of the deeper profundities of my formers journeys, and while the memories were buries pretty deeply - was able to recall some of the more profound moments of my life - and was able to remind myself that I am in fact quite sane - and that despite my overzealous attitude that caused me such an injury - I still have no regrets whatsoever over the fact that I explored my consciousness in this beautifully unique way.

I also came t see that the Truth that I perceive remains the same - despite the many different and diverse avenue that I have traveled over the years. The recent experiences with Nitrous have definitely inspired me to write about it some more, because I know that over the years I created something that was more that just the synergy of the N20 and Acid. The technology (mainly lights) that I introduced - the Yoga - the hypnosis - it all builds together to form a coherent place that I am able to re-create. I had hoped that this would mean that I stored in my brain all of the memories and insights that I have experienced over the years, and that despite the fleeting nature of the Nitrous experience, that I would be able to stimulate myself in remembering the important parts.

It's nice to know it's all still in there. Definitely time for some of s to try and express is phenomenon...

Peace,

TMP
 
He - No am fine talking about it. I find your mention of TV shows kind of curious. Are you talking about the stories - or the effects that the light from the TV has on you... :))

Although this reply isn't directed at me, the mere fact that I know you have probably have read my post by now despite not having posted on this thread for nearly a month is speaking VOLUMES to me.

I decided to check the thread just now (first time since I posted it) to see if I had a reply yet and PING - although I don't have one [EDIT: I didn't have a reply at the time I wrote this, anyone only need look at the dates/times of postings to see how this would be possible] I feel like I have been given a sign and that you will have read it by now.

Why did I sense that I would get a sign, that one would come before I actually got one? Why did I have the thought to check the thread even when I knew it could be months or possibly never that it would have been seen by you?

Telepathy? Jury is out on that one, it's making me suspect more and more that we could be on the right track though. As ever, it could just be plain 'ole co-incidence. I'm not getting carried away. I admit to being excited though.
 
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I feel the further need to state that I am definitely not high right now. My last dose of gascid was over 2 weeks ago, I had about 7 or 8 hits of plain nitrous (single 8g canisters with long gaps inbetween) without anything else to add to the experience, and the last of those was around 12 hours ago.

It could be nothing. Something has spoken to me though. As I write at the moment, I feel like this could form some part of a "live" ongoing journal for me. If it bothers more people than it interests I will of course stop.

Perhaps what I'm saying will make more sense once I've posted my "trip report". I use the term loosely, as TMP's trip report incorporates a decent chunk (not the whole thing, I know) of his life story. Mine will be similar, it needs it, it's required to give it context. I never would have had the confidence to even consider writing such a thing and sharing it with strangers if it hadn't been for TMP having taken the plunge. Having seen the 99.9% positive reaction he has got has made me feel that it won't be such crazy thing to do. I still have my fears but they are much less prevalent now and that's thanks to him having had the bottle to do it in the first place.

Thanks again TMP. I think you may be onto something. I think I might be onto something. There are several others who I think may be onto something. We could all be wrong, especially me. But if what I feel I have discovered is what I think it is, it could be a small part of a story that will have profound effect on the future of humanity itself. If what I have found, in my truth turns out to be correct, I anticipate the concept will outlive me (I'm 33) and generally in excellent health.

Sounds crackers, I know. That's why I have fears about sharing, because people will label me a madman. But every major movement, every major shift in thinking starts somewhere and it is always very small at the start. As I said before, and I know from what TMP has already posted he also feels it may be completely and utterly wrong. If you expect to see total definitive proof of the concept, as some have on this thread, I expect you will be disappointed. I simply don't know for certain where this might lead or how long it will take to get there. It might be the next few days. It might be weeks, months, years, decades. Most likely I think it could be 00,000's of years but I really do not know. It will involve a lot of theory, a lot of conjecture. Many will call it blind faith and I care not because it is my faith. I'm not talking about the dawn of a new religion, I am not "god" (such a simplistic term, but it will do for now) or his son. I am related to He/She/It though, as are all of you. This is the kind of idea that transcends organised religion to such an extent it would be an insult to attach the word "religion" to it.

I have no desire to be a leader, or to be followed or to form some form of psychedelic drug cult. Anybody who wishes to join on this investigation is welcome. Some will be open minded, some will be sceptical, some will be downright oppressive and resistant. It doesn't matter at all, I have no interest to convert anyone, all are free to do as they wish.

Anyway, my "trip report" will follow. I'm busy with many other things at the moment, it won't be long - it's very high up on my "to do" list.
 
Hey - looking forward to to reading it. I notice that you are doing what I did for so long (Am I mad - this may sound crazy - etc - analyzing and over analyzing everything that you are thinking about saying while trying to convince people to take you seriously, even though you know that once you put it into words it's going to sound so nuts that how could anyone possibly take you seriously but you are in fact serious so you'd better bleeding well convince the potential readers that tis is the case... etc.

LOL

All I can tell you is that the people who come here are mostly as crazy as everyone else - and that if ever there was a 'room' in which you could feel safe to remove all of you censorship blocks - this is it. So I suggest that you just get on with it and post the report. And if you come across as crazy, then you're in good company - so don;t sweat it. And if you feel at a later point that you expressed something badly - you can always clarify the thought.

No-one gets crucified on Bluelight...

:))

TMP
 
Your words give me much comfort.

I can feel my confidence growing though I know I'm not quite ready to write that trip report yet. If I can ask your advice, how did you work out what was relevant and what wasn't? In some way, every experience and I mean EVERY experience I've had in life seems relevant, it all lead somewhere that guided me on this path, to this point. So what am I supposed to do - spend the next half of my life writing it down all whcih went before? What will you, me, anyone who might read this learn from that? Could be a lot, could be nothing.

I feel like the knowledge I have been finally allowed to bring back from that other realm is shared with you. I persisted for so long with trying to work out how to bring it back, how to remember what I'd learned. As ever, I heeded your warning and have been cautious to try not to wreck my mind or body in the pursuit of my aim.

I worked out a way, I think, to draw what had hitherto seemed impossible into a context that us mere mortals could understand. Again, I remind anyone who wishes to see total, empirical "proof" of what or where our shared future might lay to look elsewhere. You just have to see for yourself I guess. Between me, the TMP and anyone else who is open minded enough to want to investigate this further, I implore you to join. We might create something more special than anything I'd believed possible. Accept the idea that this "mission" (terrible term) will probably outlive you, those mere flesh and bones where your spirit is currently residing. Your job is simply to discover as much as you can, while you can and to share whatever you learned with whoever wants it. No-one is going to be forced to walk down a path which they do not want or are not ready to be led. I believe the "spirit", or "conciousness" that is not yet ready to accept these possibilities will get there in the end. Because this isn't a race. We're all on the same journey, ultimately seeking the same goal. So why climb over each other to get there when if we work as a team, if we co-operate and compare notes we can get all our "spirits" to a place of total acknowledgement and understanding that they are all destined for anyway?

I admit to being scared. Some of the concepts I have been shown are startling and just so god damn "out there" that I am fully prepared to accept the possibility that I am going mad. Though I have tried to take account of TMP's warning perhaps I succeeded in the "physical" aspect of it yet failed in the mental? Are we both just a couple of loons who've done far to many drugs to been taken seriously by anyone "sane" again?

It's all part of the big cosmic joke I suppose.

Time will tell. And based on what I've seen, there's a lot of that to go around.
 
What's mad, and what's sane? If you can express your insane thoughts rationally, I think you pass - no matter what the thoughts might be (and as long as they are not thoughts of intent to injure anyone).

TMP
 
Tried, but I just can't write that trip report. The reasons are many, I know TMP will understand as he clearly struggled with the same thing for many years. I'm relatively new to this, I think his greater experience allowed him to find a way to overcome it. I will learn that in time.

Instead, I intend to post regularly in this thread with tidbits of info I find until my post count is high enough to PM TMP <<< (I even wonder if that expression PM TMP might mean something?!). I won't be spamming, I will try to keep everything relevant with the aim of furthering the discussion.

With that in mind, I'd been wondering whether this is all a religious question, a scientific one, a spiritual one, a philosophical one, whatever. I feel it is all of them and none of them. I read an interesting article today: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14417362. Seems like an indication of an "evolution" of sorts in people's thinking, could be the dawn of a new "non-religous" form of religion. Seems like a nonsense, contrary, unreal thing to try.

However, maybe like a sub-atomic particle, it can be both or it can be neither. It can be one, or the other. It can be all them at the same time. At first glance it seems crazy but now clever people at particle accelerators and the like can demonstrate, by experiment that it is actually what really happens and they can provide evidence to support it. I can't provide evidence that what I've learned from the gascid realm is true yet, but neither could those clever scientists prove what they thought was going on when they first started either.
 
I'm back TMP . Been fucking ages I know .. Need to go over this all again when i have more time. I am at the Edinburgh Fringe festival in Scotland atm .. I would love to base a play / performance piece on all of this .. LOVE x
 
I'm back TMP . Been fucking ages I know .. Need to go over this all again when i have more time. I am at the Edinburgh Fringe festival in Scotland atm .. I would love to base a play / performance piece on all of this .. LOVE x

Just went and looked over your 1st post (with this, as I write now, being your 2nd).

SNAP!

I can now say for sure that there are at the minimum 3 people on this planet who have been to this other place and seen everything. Me, you, TMP at the very least. I strongly suspect that more will become apparent as this journey continues. I notice from your style of writing, the previous comments about Glade and your mention of being at Edinburgh fringe that we probably live on the same island ;-)

So, if we were to ever meet, it likely would not involve travelling any distance that couldn't be done within a matter of hours. That might be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, who the fuck knows? No hurry..... Will be looking forward to reading whatever you have to say on here until/if that happens though. I'm looking forward to learning from you, from TMP, from myself and whoever else stumbles across this and has the same "PING!, lightbulb in head" type epiphany that we've had. I'm looking forward to sharing your knowledge. Thanks so much for posting.
 
Just discovered this thread: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/433210-Psychedelic-Ideas-and-Revelations-Inaction

Have only skimmed through the first page but it seems many, many others have had the same idea that has been bouncing around my head for the last month or so. I feel less and less alone everytime I come here :)

I'm off to read the thread in it's entirity, that obviously might take a few days given the length of it. See you all soon :)
 
Im unsure whether to make this post here or in the "other" thread (above). Decided I'd do both, post it here and there. If this breaks some rule it wasn't intentional and I apologise in advance for any tidying up a mod needs to do.

I've started to write a book, I have no idea where these particular paragraphs might lay in the scheme of this "book" but it came from me and I'm putting it out there for others to enjoy, hate, ridicule, identify, whatever. I really don't mind, people will make of it what they will, I'm just sharing it and I don't care about anyone's judgment. Feedback will be most welcome, to be totally ignored will be just as fine :)


This book is not written for monetary profit. At most I imagine anyone who wants a copy will be asked for a voluntary donation and any profit from that will be directed at further research into attempting to prove the theories posited within these pages. I expect this research will not be finished in my lifetime, at the time of writing I’m hoping that another person or group will find it interesting enough to want to continue it.
It is firstly written to help with my own happiness and journey through this life. My happiness is impossible unless the people whom I know, love and respect the most are also happy. I will do everything in my power to help these people be happy however I realise I cannot force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. I can offer them help, support, guidance in whichever way I reasonably can, however each individuals happiness is ultimately down to them. Every person has the freedom and power to do whatever they please. All people must realise that every action has a consequence and one of the most confusing things about life is to always be doing what you think is right and with the best of intentions, yet things still go wrong. This can lead people to believe there is no UC, after all, why doesn’t he reward people who always try to do their best? The reason why things go wrong, why innocent babies die, why people commit murders, rapes, terrible crimes is because all spirits were created at the beginning of the creation of this universe (many others also exist now, have existed in the past and will exist in the future). These conciousnesses or “spirits” all evolve at different rates. Though two babies may have been born at exactly the same time, would that necessarily mean that they reach exactly the same point in their lives at exactly the same time? Of course not. The same is true of their spirit as it journeys through the astral plane. Some evolve faster than others, I don’t yet know when or why, I only know that it happens.
All that we normally see is not all that is there.
Ask yourself, do I have faults? Do I have weaknesses? If the answer to either one or both of these questions is genuinely no, then you don’t need this book because you have already reached a state of total enlightenment and are at peace with everyone including yourself. You will have no desire which remains unfulfilled or isn’t obtainable at very short notice. If this is the case, you may as well stop reading. Now. All you need to do is pass this book onto someone else who you think might find it helpful, after all complete happiness is impossible unless you are spreading the joy you have to others. Whichever methodology you employed to discover your satisfaction, I congratulate you on finding it.
This book is not strictly going to be written by me, it is a collaborative effort which many people will have input. Everything in this book is simply theory, I am not pronouncing it as fact it is simply what I believe to be true based on my own experience. That is absolutely no
The word “God” is in-appropriate when attempting to describe what I shall from now on refer to as the Universal Creator or UC for short. In actual fact Universal Creator isn’t appropriate either, as He, She, whatever it is has so much knowledge and power and is so all-encompassing that a mere word doesn’t do it justice. But at least the term “UC” doesn’t conjure images in other peoples heads of an old man with a white beard, stories or “guidance” from supposedly holy books such as the Bible, the Koran, the Torah or that of any other organised religion in the world today.
I realise that I’ll be pacing my journey through this particular life much better if I take the slow, stable way through the universe. I suppose like many people, drugs like nitrous oxide have made me aware that what we see and experience in everyday life isn't everything, and I'm grateful for that insight. I also feel that nitrous oxide, psilocybin, LSD, mescaline and the like (all of which I've tried at one point or another) exist only as signposts. The real journey has to be taken without jet fuel, it has to be taken a step at a time, using one's own feet. [adapted from a nitrous trip report on Erowid by “diogenes”.]
I will use drugs again but never for the purposes of hedonism or to attempt to block out pain. They are only to be used as tools to aid my learning, and I understand my tools are delicate and fragile and over-using them will cause them to break. Not only that, but going too far with them will leave me in a position un-able to access them through lack of money, damaged health or removal of my liberty by those who do not understand the path to ultimate happiness, satisfaction and enlightenment. Psychedelic drugs are an aid to reaching a meditative state, not one of mental confusion where typically the only aim is to get fucked out of your mind. This might make you think you are happy and having a good time but what is actually occurring is that you are falling for a chemically induced illusion. It’s not real, all you are actually doing is blotting out the pain of your un-happiness. Even when you think you are generally happy – you have a home, you have a car, you have a partner whom you love, you have nice “things” and you appreciate your situation is better than many others in this world you have to consider whether you actually are. Although this life is extremely short when compared with the grand, universal nature of time, because time is relative it actually feels quite long to our consciousness when laid out over the course of an individual human lifetime. Therefore, don’t panic and be in a hurry to achieve everything you want too quickly. Of course, this doesn’t mean that action isn’t important – far from it. The way to achieve what you want is moderate use of psychedelic drugs in order to problem solve and aid with decision making. A key to aid entry into a meditative state. Ideally, I would like to imagine a future where I have no need to consume anything at all in order to receive wisdom from the UC, at the moment I have no idea if this will be possible but it is my goal to try. The answers you receive from the UC MUST be acted on, as constant thinking, only thinking achieves nothing. People who only act yet never think fail. People who only think and never act also fail. All things that are good in life are about balance and it is by learning how to balance thinking and action that happiness can be achieved.

(Sorry if any of the formatting is bad, just c&p'd from word.)
 
I knew when I was there I was not the only one who was there or had been there..The feeling I got was that time never ends and rather I was dead or alive it was all the same no matter what...

The thing that blows my mind about it all is that I knew it had been done before... I couldnt prove it.There was no way I was the first or only one to ever experiance this other place.

This is all proof to me that that place was real... I fucking knew it...
 
Have discovered the works, thoughts and opinions of Stanislav Grof. Really interesting stuff, so much of it parallels with what people are talking about here.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Impossible-Happens-Stanislav-Grof/dp/159179420X/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top Seems a good book, will order it later today.

Youtube links featuring the man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxtQ_3UveUE&feature=related [2012]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCzG9QsM-Pw&feature=related [Holotropic breathing]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8U6oaFNts0&feature=relmfu[An Incredible Adventure 1/3]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbviJoQrAso&feature=relmfu [An Incredible Adventure 2/3]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvQbVktjTlo&feature=relmfu [An Incredible Adventure 3/3]

Many others of course, these are just the one's I've watched so far. If anyone else finds anything of interest please post :)
 
This link is available elsewhere on BL but I'm reposting here as I feel it is so valuable. Original link:http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/writings/stolaroff_using.shtml

Whether you have been exploring psychedelics for many years or are only just starting to dip your toe in the water, this is very useful stuff, I implore you to read it.

Using Psychedelics Wisely
Myron J. Stolaroff
A veteran researcher explains how psychedelics can be used to give
beneficial results. From GNOSIS, No. 26, Winter 1993*.


MY WIFE JEAN AND I had driven several miles up the mountain to an elevation of 6000 feet a few miles south of Mount Whitney in California. We were about to meet Franklin Merrell-Wolff, author of the book Pathways through to Space, an impressively articulate and detailed description of a person entering a state of enlightenment and savoring it over several months. When we were ushered into his private office, we found ourselves before an outstanding personage who radiated a marvelous glow. When we had talked for a few minutes and I felt sufficiently at home, I spoke of our research work, telling him that we had spent three and a half years administering LSD, sometimes in conjunction with mescaline, to 350 research subjects and had published our findings in medical journals. "My oh my!" he said, looking at us with consternation. "I hope you haven't used these drugs yourselves." We admitted that we had. He continued, "According to X" (here he mentioned an Indian sage whose name I do not remember), "it will take you seven incarnations to recover from the damage of taking such substances!". Naturally I was upset, but I didn't think of the appropriate reply until we were driving back down the hill: "Never underestimate the grace of God!"

There is no question that psychedelic substances are remarkable graces. The farther one can reach into the vastness to be explored, the more one realizes how powerful these materials are. There seems to be no end to the levels of awareness that can be realized by those who use them to explore their psyches with integrity and courage. The great value in these chemicals is that, in some way still not scientifically explained, they dissolve the boundaries to the unconscious mind. They give us access to our repressed and forgotten material, to the Shadow that C.G. Jung so effectively dealt with, to the archetypes of humanity, to an enormous range of levels of thought, and to the wellspring of creativity and mystical experience that Jung called the collective unconscious.

At the heart of the unconscious is what many experience as the source of life itself, and which some call God. Those who have experienced this describe it as a wondrous, ineffable source of light and energy that infuses all of creation, embracing all wisdom and radiating a vast, unending, and ever-constant love. Immersion in this is the essence of the mystical experience and produces what the great mystics have described as the state of unity or oneness. Such union is the culmination of all seeking, all desire; it is the most cherished of all experiences of which man is capable.

Not all who ingest these substances can count on such revelations. In fact, psychedelics are powerful agents and can be misused. It must be remembered that they help reveal the unconscious, and most of us have made its contents unconscious for very specific reasons. We may not welcome the appearance of repressed, painful feelings, or of evidence that our values and lifestyles might be considerably improved. Nor is it always easy to accept the spaciousness of our being, our immense potential, and the responsibility that these entail. We may also refuse to believe that we are entitled to so much beauty and joy without paying any price other than being ourselves!

To assure a rewarding outcome, let's look at some factors that should be taken into consideration when using these materials. I must add here that in no way am I encouraging the use of illegal substances. I do hope, however, that greater understanding of these materials will help restore an intelligent policy that will make further research possible. Here are some things that will help ensure beneficial results:


SET AND SETTING

Set and setting have been widely recognized as the two most important factors in undertaking a psychedelic experience. Of these, set has the greatest influence. As the drug opens the door to the unconscious, huge spectrums of possibilities of experience present themselves. Just how one steers through this vast maze depends mostly upon set. Set includes the contents of the personal unconscious, which is essentially the record of all one's life experience. It also includes one's walls of conditioning, which determine the freedom with which one can move through various vistas. Another important aspect of set consists of one's values, attitudes, and aspirations. These will influence the direction of attention and determine how one will deal with the psychic material encountered.

In fact, one can learn a great deal by accepting and reconciling oneself with uncomfortable material. Resisting this discomfort, on the other hand, can greatly intensify the level of pain, leading to disturbing, unsatisfactory experiences, or even psychotic attempts at escape. This latter dynamic is largely responsible for the medical profession's view of these materials as psychotomimetic. On the other hand, surrender, acceptance, gratitude, and appreciation can result in continual opening, expansion, and fulfillment.

Setting, or the environment in which the experience takes place, can also greatly influence the experience, since subjects are often very suggestible under psychedelics. Inspiring ritual, a beautiful natural setting, stimulating artwork, and interesting objects to examine can focus one's attention on rewarding areas. Most important of all is an experienced, compassionate guide who is very familiar with the process. His mere presence establishes a stable energy field that helps the subject remain centered. The guide can be very helpful should the subject get stuck in uncomfortable places, and can ask intelligent questions that will help resolve difficulties, as well as suggesting fruitful directions of exploration that the subject might have otherwise overlooked. The user will also find that simply sharing what is happening with an understanding listener will produce greater clarity and comfort. Finally, a good companion knows that the best guide is one's own inner being, which should not be interfered with unless help is genuinely needed and sought.


MOTIVATION

This is extremely important. Those who earnestly seek knowledge and deeply appreciate life in all its forms will do well. Yet certain characteristics of psychedelics make them very popular for recreational use. The most attractive of these is their great enhancement of sensual responses, which offer heightened perception, amplification of beauty and meaning, and intensified sensual gratification. Psychedelics can also generate a great sense of closeness among participants, especially in a group setting. While I am convinced that one of the great cosmic commands is "Enjoy," there are traps in using these substances purely for recreation. The first is that a person seeking the delights of the senses may find himself overwhelmed by the eruption of repressed unconscious material without knowing how to deal with it. Another danger is that constant pleasure-seeking without giving anything back to life can distort the personality and ultimately produce more discomfort. The safe, sure way to rewarding outcomes with psychedelics is through intelligent, well-informed use.


HONESTY

For the serious spiritual seeker, or for that matter anyone seeking knowledge, the single most important characteristic is honesty. This means the courage to look at whatever is presented by the deep mind, the ability to admit one's shortcomings when they become apparent, and the determination to change one's behavior in line with the truth one has experienced.


ONGOING DISCIPLINE

Experts in the field now generally agree that it is wise to conduct psychedelic explorations within the framework of a spiritual discipline or growth program that will continually call attention to fundamental values and goals. A good discipline will outline a body of ethics for personal behavior that will support the changes required. Good ethics will also help us stay clear about our objectives, and will keep the door open to increasing depths of experience. Moreover, there is evidence to suggest that the more we are prepared to pass on to others whatever spiritual largess we have accumulated, the more we will be given.

For myself, I found training in Tibetan Buddhist meditation a potent adjunct to psychedelic exploration. In learning to hold my mind empty, I became aware that other levels of reality would more readily manifest. It was only in absolute stillness, accompanied by a special, highly developed quality of listening, that many subtle but extremely valuable nuances of reality appeared. While I achieved this to some extent in ordinary practice, I found this effect to be greatly amplified while under the influence of a psychedelic substance. This in turn intensified my daily meditation practice.


PSYCHEDELICS AS WAY-SHOWERS

The role of psychedelics is often misunderstood. Many feel that having had wonderful experiences, they now have the answers and are somehow changed. And no doubt in many respects they are. But users often overlook the fact that there are usually heavy walls of conditioning and ignorance separating the surface mind from the core of our being. It is a blessing that psychedelics can set aside these barriers and give access to our real Self. But unless one is committed to the changes indicated, old habits of personality can rapidly reestablish themselves.

At this point many feel that repeating the experience will maintain the exalted state. It may, but most often real change requires hard work and dedicated effort. Unfortunately this is not always clear during the experience itself; it has merely pointed the way and shown what is possible. If we like what we see, it is now up to us to bring about the changes indicated.

There is a grace period following profound psychedelic experiences when changes can be rapidly made. At this time one is infused with the wonder and power of the new information. Moreover—and this is an area where some valuable research can be done—the drug experience releases a great deal of bodily and psychic armoring that is tied to our neuroses. This rejuvenation is quite noticeable after a good psychedelic experience, when, without the dragging weight of physical habit patterns, behavior can be more readily changed.

On the other hand, if you make no effort to change, old habits rapidly reassert themselves, and you find yourself sliding back into your previous state. In fact, it can be worse than before, because now you know that things can be better and are disappointed to find yourself mucking around in the same old garbage.

Another factor makes this process even more uncomfortable. A lot of the energy formerly tied up in repressed material is now released. This energy may be used quite fruitfully to expand the boundaries of your being to the new dimensions you have experienced. But if you return to old patterns of behavior, you now have more energy to reinforce them, making life more difficult. For this reason, these experiences must not be taken lightly, but with serious intent.


DEALlNG WITH THE SHADOW

As Jung indicated, the Shadow holds all the material that we have pushed aside so we can hide from ourselves. Unfortunately, it also contains much of our energy, and as long as it is unconscious, it exerts a powerful influence on our behavior without our knowing it. Furthermore, Shadow material is responsible for most of the difficulties humans create in the world. We project our Shadow onto others, believe those others to be the source of our difficulties, and seek refuge from them rather than taking responsibility in our own hands. Consequently we must resolve Shadow material if we are to develop. If this were accomplished on a widespread basis, it would be a major benefit for the world.

Jung describes human development as the process of "making the unconscious conscious." Psychedelics, particularly in low doses, can be an extremely effective tool in this process. The bulk of my experience is with the phenethylamine compounds, which remained legal longer than the standard psychedelics such as LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin. Whereas a full dose of a phenethylamine like 2C-T-2 or 2C-T-7 might be 20 milligrams, a low dose would be ten or twelve milligrams, or roughly equivalent to 25-50 micrograms of LSD.

The most infallible guide to Shadow material is our uncomfortable feelings. Many do not like to use low doses because these feelings come to the surface. Rather than experience them, they use larger doses to transcend them. But these uncomfortable feelings are precisely what we must resolve to free ourselves from the Shadow, gain strength and energy, and function more comfortably and competently in the world. By using smaller amounts and being willing to focus our full attention on whatever feelings arise and breathe through them, we find that these feelings eventually dissolve, often with fresh insight and understanding of our personal dynamics. The release of such material permits an expansion of awareness and energy. If we work persistently to clear away repressed areas, we can enter the same sublime states that are available with larger doses—with an important additional gain. Having resolved our uncomfortable feelings, we are in a much better position to maintain a high state of clarity and functioning in day-to-day life.

I would also like to add a word about frequency: Individuals vary greatly in their frequency of use of these materials. Some are satisfied with an overwhelming experience which they feel is good for a lifetime. Others wish to renew their acquaintance with these areas once or twice a year. Still others are interested in frequent explorations to continually push their knowledge forward. Regardless of the frequency, it is wise to make sure that the previous experience has been well integrated before embarking on the next one. Early in one's contact with these substances, where there is a wealth of new experience, this may take several months. As one becomes more experienced, the integration time grows shorter, and the interval between trials may be shortened.

Many stop the use of psychedelics when they feel they have learned what they wished. But often it is likely that they halt because they have hit a deeply repressed, painful area that is heavily defended. The issue goes beyond purely personal material, however. One is unlikely to reach full realization without awareness, not merely of one's own pain and suffering, but of that of all mankind. This may help explain the Dark Night of the Soul, which is the final barrier to mystical union described by Evelyn Underhill in her classic book Mysticism. Since we are one, we must not only confront the personal Shadow, but the Shadow of all humanity. We can do this more readily when we discover the ample love that is available to dissolve all Shadow material.


FREElNG CONSTRlCTED AREAS

There is another way in which psychedelics can serve the serious seeker. It often happens that those pursuing rigorous spiritual disciplines achieve elevated states by pushing aside or walling off certain aspects of behavior. With honest use, psychedelics will not permit such areas to remain hidden, but will insist upon their surfacing. One then experiences the great relief of being in touch with all aspects of one's being. The joy and thrill of being totally alive come from having complete access to all of one's feelings.



THE TRAINED USER

There appears to be a cosmic law that says that giving our complete attention to an object, image, or idea with constancy, patience, and acceptance will allow its different attributes to unfold. Psychedelics greatly accelerate this process. To operate most effectively, the observer must have developed the ability to hold his mind steady so he can watch the process develop. Large doses can push one so hard that it is most difficult to do this. Therefore the best results are achieved by a "trained user"—a person who has learned to manage high doses of psychedelics, or who has learned to hold his mind steady enough to observe his inner process competently. As a user clears up his "inner stuff," he gains more freedom in directing his experience. At this stage, higher doses can be profitably used to penetrate deeper into the nature of Reality.

Interestingly, this concept of the trained user does not appear in the literature. But it is precisely the trained user who can best take advantage of the unfathomed range of wisdom and understanding contained in the far reaches of the mind. There seems to be no limit to the dimensions of understanding that can be experienced by the explorer who has the courage, integrity, and skill to navigate them. With integrity, and with the support of appropriate disciplines and friends, one can bring back a great deal for the betterment of oneself and mankind.

Are psychedelics necessary? Can't these same explorations be conducted by those who have mastered the skills of meditation? No doubt they can—with an enormous investment of time and effort. But it is unlikely that many Westerners will be willing to make such a commitment. For Western seekers, whose spiritual practice must usually be integrated with making a living, the proper use of psychedelics can considerably accelerate the process. However, it is not a path for everyone. Choice should be based on full knowledge of the factors involved.

Psychedelics are not a shortcut, as it is of little value to sidetrack important experiences. If enlightenment requires resolution of unconscious material (and my personal experience indicates that it does), those who aspire to such achievement must carefully consider the pace and intensity with which they are willing to encounter this vast range of dynamics. The psychedelic path, while much more intense than many other disciplines, is in a sense easier because it often provides an earlier and more profound contact with the numinous. Such contact inspires commitment and opens the door to more grace in surmounting uncomfortable material.

If our commitment is truly to the well-being and happiness of all sentient beings, then it is reasonable to study all useful tools for accomplishing these ends. Psychedelics, used with good motivation, skill, and integrity, can contribute much toward easing the pain and suffering of the world while giving access to wisdom and compassion for spiritual development.
 
Hi All,

A storm took down my Internet for a full months - I have only *just* got back online. But I will be starting to post again shortly - this will be the start of the responses to the many requests I have had - even in recent times - to continue and expand on my gascid experiences and environment. Sorry it's takes me so long - but I *will be starting soon, and I how that this threat gets going again like never before. I am really looking forward to it.

Happy December,

The Very Merry Prankster!!!
 
That was quite the read sir. I wish you well in the rest of your life, and would urge you to keep smoking copious amount of the pot. And now a question. In your post you mentioned a certain 'setup' that you had to take you the the 'truth' of the universe. Have you elaborated on that in this thread or somewhere else. Apologies but I did not want to look through all 14 pages. Thanks and <3.
 
Do ridiculous amounts of psychedelic drugs



surprised when brain chemistry is altered
 
I don't really have much to add, just bumping this for anyone who hasn't read it.

Found this TR through a link in another thread. Gave me chills. Good read.

Have a metal cracker laying in one of my drawers I look at every once in a while. Keep thinking I should buy a box of charges and some balloons before my next trip. Love nitrous, but haven't had the pleasure to combine with psychedelics. Reading this post, I'm not sure if I shouldn't wait a little while longer....

I'm allready having problems limiting trips to 1x/week ATM (like that's even good itself), dunno if I care to add anything else into the equation...
 
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