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New FRANK adverts from the UK home office

My son was a boxer went to college had a girlfriend, and everything has ended. You know why, because of skunk. That horrible smelly disgusting weed which all you young people think its great to smoke. Think again before it ruins your life, your family life. My poor son who is now lookingat a 60 pound habit, has to have one in the morning, doesnt eat, just looking for his next smoke. He is like a walking skeleton. And the dirty scumbage dealers who prey on the young addicts so they will sell drugs for them and in return a bag of weed. Before you try it, think of your family, your home, your life and what your going to lose. I am losing my son and he is just a pathetic form of human life. Dont ever try it, never ever try it, or you will be lost forever and destroyed your family
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What the shit
 
I just asked Frank for some advice:

FRANK:
Hello you are through to FRANK, how can I help you?
Patrick:
hi Frank
Patrick:
here is my situation
Patrick:
I'm a body builder and last year a friend offered me steroids, he said it will increase my performance
Patrick:
I took the steroids for a few months but I couldn't afford them so I found an alternative on the internet. I ordered a research chemical which is a hormone extracted from the African rhino beetle, it is marketed as an alternative to testosterone.
Patrick:
ive been taking it for 6 months now but I recently noticed that I've started growing a 3rd nipple. I don't know what to do, I'm scared.
Patrick:
I stopped taking the steroid but the nipple just keeps growing. I'm panicking
Patrick:
do you know what I should do about this?
Patrick:
is there a medication I can take to reverse this?
FRANK:
Hi Patrick, you should seek medical advice from your GP, hospital or NHS Direct on 0845 46 47. We are not medically trained on this service.
Patrick:
im kind of embarrassed to see the doctor about this
FRANK:
You have to be careful buying drugs especially over the internet as you do not know what you are getting.
Patrick:
is there any way i can stop this nipple from growing?
Patrick:
its now about the size of a grape
Patrick:
it looks a bit like something from the movie Alien
Patrick:
My friends are scared of it, they say its as if its looking at them
Patrick:
should i seek medical attention?
Patrick:
or will it go away by itself
FRANK:
You should seek medical advice on any growths on your body Patrick.
Patrick:
ok then
Patrick:
ill do that
FRANK:
Steroids can sometimes cause unwanted changes in appearance.
Patrick:
thanks
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FRANK:
Hello you are through to FRANK, how can I help you?
James:
hi
James:
i need some advice
FRANK:
Hi james you're through to an adviser how can i help you
James:
My brother has been stuck in the k-hole for 3 days, what do I do?
James:
We were chasing the magic rabbit into the k-hole and my brother went in but hasn't come back out yet.
FRANK:
Have you been able to talk to your brother
James:
Hes been in there for 3 days now.
James:
no he is completely unresponsive
FRANK:
If your brother is unresponsive from drug use then you seek medical advice immediately
James:
we tried pouring cold water on him but he doesnt even move
James:
I cant take him to hospital because hes on parole
James:
if he gets caught violating his parole by taking drugs, he goes back to jail
James:
put me onto Frank, he'll know what to do
FRANK:
FRANK is a confidential service however if you lead FRANK to believe that you or someone you are with are at risk then FRANK will pass any identifiable information over to relevant a 3rd party, such as te ambulance or police.
FRANK:
Is your brother still unresponsive?
James:
yes
James:
he is still breathing
James:
and his pulse are fine
James:
hes in the k-hole
James:
im thinking of going in and getting him
James:
like in that movie inception
FRANK:
You need to call an ambulance for your brother if he is unresponsive. If you provide identifiable information then FRANK can call an ambulance for your brother.
James:
im still quite high on ketamine myself, i think i can hear his thoughts
James:
hes still chasing the magic rabbit
James:
never mind, I thought Frank would know how to deal with the situation
James:
but i guess not
James:
ill just have to give my bro a few more days
James:
hes most likely still chasing the magic rabbit
FRANK:
FRANK will need to end this chat so you can seek help for your brother as he is unresponsive and FRANK does not have any identifiable infromation to do this for you.
James:
he'll have to catch him at some point
James:
bye
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FRANK:
Hello you are through to FRANK, how can I help you?
Bobby:
thank god
Bobby:
i need some advice frank
FRANK:
Hi Bobby, how can I help?
Bobby:
i hhad a bad experience on salvia which has left me permanently changed
Bobby:
When I smoked salvia I had an out of body experience where I was looking at myself from outside my body
Bobby:
when i was looking at myself from outside my body though, i wasnt human
Bobby:
i was a pineapple
Bobby:
ever since that day i have been terrified that i will turn into a pineapple again
Bobby:
i get paranoid in public thinking that people are commenting on how i resemble a pineapple
Bobby:
i have been terrified of pineapples ever since
Bobby:
i cant even be in the same room as them
Bobby:
i was at a restaurant with my family last tuesday and i ordered a pizza, it came with a slice of pineapple on the side
Bobby:
i had a panic attack
FRANK:
Salvia can produce hallucinations.Depending on dosage, experiences can vary from the fairly mild to full blown with psychedelic hallucinations.
Bobby:
i just want my life back
Bobby:
this was more than just a hallucination
Bobby:
it has left me with a phobia of pineapples
Bobby:
and a fear that i may turn into a pineapple again at any moment
Bobby:
i cant describe the terror i felt looking at myself as a pineapple
FRANK:
Do you take Salvia regulary Bobby?
Bobby:
no i did it twice
Bobby:
the first time was strange but the second time i did a large amount
Bobby:
and that the out of body experience
Bobby:
it was last week
FRANK:
Legal highs can also give you feelings of euphoria, warmth and being detached from the world around. However, they can cause confusion and panics. Some psychedelic drugs create strong dissociative effects, which make you feel like your mind and body are separated.
Bobby:
are they known to turn people into pineapples
Bobby:
?
FRANK:
Have you told anyone how you have been feeling?
Bobby:
no, im afraid they will judge me
Bobby:
im already paranoid thinking that they know i am afraid of pineapples
FRANK:
You need to let someone know Bobby that you are feeling this way as it sounds like it is taking over your life.
FRANK:
You could go to your GP or your local support service.
Bobby:
yes, i am constantly thinking of pineapples
Bobby:
i cant get it out of my head
Bobby:
im having nightmares about them too
FRANK:
You can find your nearest support service via this link:http://www.talktofrank.com/need-support
Bobby:
are there medications they can prescribe for this type of phobia?
Bobby:
okay, i will do that
Bobby:
thank you
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I left it at that because they will probably catch on if they see all these absurd questions are coming from the same location. Here are the other questions I was going to ask:

Me and my friends were taking PCP and acid, the dealer told us its a safe combo, we're all tripping hard and my friend Ed thinks hes a pineapple. We don't know what to do, hes been sitting in one spot for 5 hours and when we ask him why he won't move, he just says "I'm a pineapple". Put me onto Frank, he'll know what to do.

Me and my friends were drinking toilet duck, the internet said it gets you high and we're pretty high but my friend Jake has gone blind, what do we do?

I smoked some DMT and all went well but a machine elf followed me back from hyperspace to this reality, what do I do? I'm freaking out, it tells me that if I don't follow its orders and set fire to the local *whatever* that it will infect my brain with a 4th dimensional strain of rabies.

I thought it would be funny to see what kind of advise they would have to offer on these absurd scenarios but its pretty predictable how they are going to respond. Not surprisingly, they don't know how to respond so they just advise you to seek medical attention, counselling or parrot off basic information about drugs like they did to my first two questions. Some drug experts they are. I say my brothers in the k-hole and they ask me "Have you talked to him?".
 
Last edited:
I'm glad someone highlighted this, I was just going to start a new thread - good job I did a search first.

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/media-centre/news/talk-to-frank

Celebrating ten years of providing 'factual and trustworthy drugs advice.' Pick any one of the entries, any of them. I realise that information on substances is largely subjective, and Erowid and Bluelight are no exceptions, but this site is a deliberate source of misinformation. Take for example the entry on LSD:

"What does acid do to you?

A good trip can make users feel relaxed and happy, with pleasant hallucinations. A bad trip can make you feel agitated and confused, with unpleasant and scary hallucinations. How the trip goes can be affected by your surroundings, who you’re with and how comfortable you are with them, and by your mood. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable, you’re more likely to have a bad trip.

It can also have other effects:

A trip can appear to involve a speeding up and slowing down of time and movements, while colour, sound and objects can get distorted. Users experience hallucinations (seeing and/or hearing things that aren’t there).

LSD can also make you feel tired, anxious, panicky and depressed.

LSD can cause unpleasant, frightening or scary hallucinations and distortions of your senses – and these effects can be quite unpredictable.

Trips can feed off your imagination and may heighten a mood you're already in. So if you’re in a bad mood, feeling worried or depressed, LSD may just make these feelings worse."


So the objective message, delivered in a 'factual and trustworthy' fashion is that 'drugs are bad.' Contrary to popular belief, this is not drugs education. Sorry, I'm preaching to the converted. Vent over. Hope you're all having a lovely day, especially those of you on acid :)
 
In the future, I recommend you use SWIM.

CrimpJiggler said:
I just asked Frank for some advice:







I left it at that because they will probably catch on if they see all these absurd questions are coming from the same location. Here are the other questions I was going to ask:

Me and my friends were taking PCP and acid, the dealer told us its a safe combo, we're all tripping hard and my friend Ed thinks hes a pineapple. We don't know what to do, hes been sitting in one spot for 5 hours and when we ask him why he won't move, he just says "I'm a pineapple". Put me onto Frank, he'll know what to do.

Me and my friends were drinking toilet duck, the internet said it gets you high and we're pretty high but my friend Jake has gone blind, what do we do?

I smoked some DMT and all went well but a machine elf followed me back from hyperspace to this reality, what do I do? I'm freaking out, it tells me that if I don't follow its orders and set fire to the local *whatever* that it will infect my brain with a 4th dimensional strain of rabies.

I thought it would be funny to see what kind of advise they would have to offer on these absurd scenarios but its pretty predictable how they are going to respond. Not surprisingly, they don't know how to respond so they just advise you to seek medical attention, counselling or parrot off basic information about drugs like they did to my first two questions. Some drug experts they are. I say my brothers in the k-hole and they ask me "Have you talked to him?".
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Wrap of paper/magazine with drugs inside ;)

Rap, more confused about drugs now..
 
The irony is sites like this are better, got harm reduction and people are actually honest about drugs the negative and positives. Talk to frank isnt that bad they dont all out bull shit about drugs and people are able to add their own stories, but from reading them you can clearly see how poorly educated people are on drugs and the amount of people that did too much etc. The adverts are pretty crap tbh but at least they're trying to be humorous and not on some Moralistic crusade.

They stick in your mind too, everyone remembers Pablo :D
 
I see they have had to disable youtube comments, bummer, I bet they got some doozies before they turned that feature off.
 
I think the fact that these kinds of campaigns are not as blatantly negative as those in the past is actually a problem in itself. I would rather the Establishment continued to display its wilful ignorance of and prejudice against drugs and drug users than successfully market its views, advice and motivations as 'neutral' and 'down with the kids'. If people who are 'confused about drugs' are led to believe that they can trust and count on FRANK for 'impartial advice', this leaves them woefully misinformed and diverts them from potentially finding information and advice from sources such as this forum that are genuinely attempting to develop a balanced and participatory, rather than paternalistic, network of knowledge.

Harm reduction is obviously an extremely important concern, but coming from FRANK it reminds me somewhat of US 'sex education' that pushes abstinence as the only acceptable choice. If our government cared one iota about reducing harm, it would provide drug 'education' that treats kids as the responsible adults that they will soon be expected to be, give them as whole of a picture about the potential negatives and positives of drugs as possible, make it clear that the picture is constantly evolving, and then let them make informed choices about their own lives and their own wellbeing.
 
^what are we talking about? High school seminars on blunt-rolling and hash-extraction, or do we go all the way up to IV techniques and seminars on crack smoking?

I for one had to learn the hard way how easily those pipes shatter and cut into your lips and gums.
 
@23436: lol, no. IMO a sensible 'drug education' in schools would be based on 'if you decide to take drugs, these are some of the things you should be aware of'. Like the kind of stuff people learn through experience but if they'd had the information to start with they might have been a bit safer, like potentially unsafe combinations, and correct hydration with MDMA in club settings for example. That's why I drew the parallel with sex education - I think it varies but when I was in school the attitude was 'you're too young to have sex within the law, but if you do decide to, here's how you use a condom...'. It wasn't so long ago that giving children that information would have been seen as direct encouragement to engage in a delinquent activity.

And rather than FRANK's 'neutral' account of LSD's effects ("can be quite unpredictable, sometimes pleasant, but sometimes very frightening (these are called 'bad trips')"), which informs of the risks in a simplistic way and glosses over the potential social/psychological/spiritual benefits as 'pleasant', maybe the inclusion of decades' worth of research into these benefits, alongside the scientific and criminological research that helps legitimise its prohibition.

I'll admit my comments are largely utopian :p
 
psilocybophile said:
@23436: lol, no. IMO a sensible 'drug education' in schools would be based on 'if you decide to take drugs, these are some of the things you should be aware of'. Like the kind of stuff people learn through experience but if they'd had the information to start with they might have been a bit safer, like potentially unsafe combinations, and correct hydration with MDMA in club settings for example. That's why I drew the parallel with sex education - I think it varies but when I was in school the attitude was 'you're too young to have sex within the law, but if you do decide to, here's how you use a condom...'. It wasn't so long ago that giving children that information would have been seen as direct encouragement to engage in a delinquent activity.

And rather than FRANK's 'neutral' account of LSD's effects ("can be quite unpredictable, sometimes pleasant, but sometimes very frightening (these are called 'bad trips')"), which informs of the risks in a simplistic way and glosses over the potential social/psychological/spiritual benefits as 'pleasant', maybe the inclusion of decades' worth of research into these benefits, alongside the scientific and criminological research that helps legitimise its prohibition.

I'll admit my comments are largely utopian :p
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23436 is my older brother.
 
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