Need Help Need to hear from those who successfully got off pain killers.

[Mistylee]

I really really feel for you and you could be the old me. I couldn't taper for shit and I damn sure didn't want anyone holding them for me because I wanted them in my possession. I'd get a new bottle and have all these plans to take them the right way and 10 days later they were gone. Every damn time. Month after month. Finally realized that giving them up for good was the only way. Just couldn't control myself no matter how many times i tried. Put narcotic pain pills in front of me and i will eat them until they are gone. All day, every day.

Do not beat yourself up because you lost control. Many of us do. Many are so compulsive that they have been doing this for years. Get a 30 day script, eat them all in 10 days and either suffer for 20 more days until we can refill or go to the streets and pay through the ass for someone else's script.......or worse go to the harder stuff.

Do not give up. Pain pills can be a short physical WD but the mind fuck afterwards is where we fail. You gotta put on some thick skin and when you are missing your pills you simply have to divert your thoughts. Go outside, take a hot shower, take a walk, visit a family member...........anything to keep your mind off the pills. Every day that passes it gets better and better. I had to go to kratom because having nothing was just too hard. And I didn't want to go back to the pills. So far, so good and it's been over 2 years.

Hang in there. It's the hardest thing you will ever do but I promise you it's worth it. No more Dr. appts. No more peeing in a cup. No more running out early month after month. No more pulling your hair out because you can't find pills. No more lying to your family. No more lots of stuff.

You can do this but it ain't gonna be easy !! xxoo

Yep, you totally get me. I woke up with fewer physical symptoms today. But the emotional stuff has hit pretty hard. Sometimes I would run out of scripts and sources and go through this but it's so different when you are committed to not going back. Without being able to count the days until I will feel better I have to really work through all of it. Sometimes I almost have to think to myself "who knows what will happen tomorrow, maybe I will make a different choice, but today I'm not going to take anything" Not that I do plan on using again, but it's just overwhelming to think of the months and weeks ahead without using.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Yep, you totally get me. I woke up with fewer physical symptoms today. But the emotional stuff has hit pretty hard. Sometimes I would run out of scripts and sources and go through this but it's so different when you are committed to not going back. Without being able to count the days until I will feel better I have to really work through all of it. Sometimes I almost have to think to myself "who knows what will happen tomorrow, maybe I will make a different choice, but today I'm not going to take anything" Not that I do plan on using again, but it's just overwhelming to think of the months and weeks ahead without using.

One day at a time is overused anymore but it is so true. Even if you have to take it 4 hours at a time. Or 10 minutes at a time. Slow and easy always wins the race for us. If we get ahead of ourselves and think we can never have another pill for the rest of our life then it gets too big. Keep it small. Concentrate on the little things. Getting enough rest. Staying out of stressful situations as much as possible. Eating good food. Pampering ourselves like a nice long shower with lotions afterward and comfy jammies or clothes. Do whatever you have to do to make YOU feel good. I'm rootin' for ya. I know you want it. Want it bad enough and your reality will come true.

Hang in there and post here when it gets tough !! << This is you 6 months from now pill free. !!

 

[pozlotus]

I really really feel for you and you could be the old me. I couldn't taper for shit and I damn sure didn't want anyone holding them for me because I wanted them in my possession. I'd get a new bottle and have all these plans to take them the right way and 10 days later they were gone. Every damn time. Month after month. Finally realized that giving them up for good was the only way. Just couldn't control myself no matter how many times i tried. Put narcotic pain pills in front of me and i will eat them until they are gone. All day, every day.

Do not beat yourself up because you lost control. Many of us do. Many are so compulsive that they have been doing this for years. Get a 30 day script, eat them all in 10 days and either suffer for 20 more days until we can refill or go to the streets and pay through the ass for someone else's script.......or worse go to the harder stuff.

Do not give up. Pain pills can be a short physical WD but the mind fuck afterwards is where we fail. You gotta put on some thick skin and when you are missing your pills you simply have to divert your thoughts. Go outside, take a hot shower, take a walk, visit a family member...........anything to keep your mind off the pills. Every day that passes it gets better and better. I had to go to kratom because having nothing was just too hard. And I didn't want to go back to the pills. So far, so good and it's been over 2 years.

Hang in there. It's the hardest thing you will ever do but I promise you it's worth it. No more Dr. appts. No more peeing in a cup. No more running out early month after month. No more pulling your hair out because you can't find pills. No more lying to your family. No more lots of stuff.

You can do this but it ain't gonna be easy !! xxoo

There is definitely no need to criticize oneself when it comes to opioids.

Opium and it's derivatives have been confounding humankind since the opium poppy was discovered.

Oxycodone, morphine, hydromorphone, diacetyl morphine (heroin) and others are highly addictive. With heroin and hydromorphone one can't avoid a habit longer than a week (less with heroin).

I've been diagnosed with a form of cancer that has no cure and can't be surgically removed without it being a totally life-altering experience (and not in a good way). And definitely fatal if not treated. The docs can keep in in check, but it requires a biopsy and minor surgery every 3-4 months. The kicker is that it's in a location that's very sensitive (tons of nerve endings). The procedures are VERY painful. I know, from experience, that if I take anything more potent than codeine (which isn't all that effective and has a lot more side effects) for longer than 3-4 days, I'll catch a habit. As a result, I have to deal with the pain. Otherwise, I'll end up addicted again.

Opioids are a godsend in the short term (for a day or two) for pain associated with surgery or trauma, but not great for long-term pain management.

No one should be ashamed of an opioid addiction.

 

[Uknowit4now]

Yes! Feeling good 5% of the time and feeling like crap 95% of the time pretty much sums up the last few years of my life. But I was willing to make that trade which just shows how that stuff fucks with your head. That exact conclusion was what made me really wake up and commit to doing this. And yet, still, with all that knowledge and understanding of how it ruined years of my life I still keep thinking about it and my brain still keeps telling me it would like to go back.

Course it does!! It fucks with ya head big time!
One thing i found that is so friggen amazing once that shit actually passes ypur emotions come back! I dont gaf what anyone says but when younuse opiates your emotions are suppressed and they are big time. Its wild... when i got clean i laughed soooo much more, i cried so much more, i felt "real" emotions.. and I know you always feel super heavy emotions when getting off the junk, but seriously it honestly changes you for the better. And you are doing it!! Your doing it!!!
EAGLE BABY EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!
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[Branggen]

Yeah, I already know I won't be able to use them for pain. That is one of the hurdles right now. I will need to learn new ways of dealing with the chronic pain. And I can't taper for pretty much the same reason. I can't really control my use. If I tapered I would have to have someone dole them out to me and I am not ready to talk to the people closest to me about this yet. I have tried in the past and i just can't do it. So it's cold turkey for me. Which has been pretty shitty so far this week but today is a little better. Now the emotional stuff is hitting and I'm slogging through it and trying to be cheerful to the people around me because I can't just lay in bed all day the rest of the week.

Well its good you already know that, one thing you could try if you do fail a cold turkey attempt is that when you go back on to using after lets say 2 days with nothing try and see if you can hold yourself at a lower dose, 75% or so, yea you'll probably feel like a failure and just want to go back and take the old usual dose if not more but its really good to learn to look at every drop in tolerance as a win, and progress towards the end because its too easy to just think of addiction either an addicted or not thing but realistically their are levels to addiction.

Are you getting the pills prescribed to you? If so you could just get the doc to taper your script, if not you could get a script, most places you might have to get methadone or suboxone but where I live (canada) anyone can get prescribed morphine as an option as well you just have to pick it up daily.

 

[Mistylee]

Thanks. You are right. Even a drop in tolerance would be a small win..so far so good though. I am hanging in there. I am way past a week now. Most physical stuff is gone or at least tolerable. Now just slogging through the emotional stuff.

 

[Uknowit4now]

Thanks. You are right. Even a drop in tolerance would be a small win..so far so good though. I am hanging in there. I am way past a week now. Most physical stuff is gone or at least tolerable. Now just slogging through the emotional stuff.

You really are doing amazing i hope ypur feeling some relief at this point how is everything going?