NASADD Social v It's HOL's birthday! Any day is better than shitting yourself in jail

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xxkcxx said:
thank you! It was at first. I stopped coming here for a long time. Only really started again very recently. And I actually don't go to any threads really besides this one and a few in the Lounge.



thank you! I was using addictively for about 4 years. Probably add 3 more years on to that that I was abusing but not addicted. I can't actually pinnpoint what made me quit though. I had tried treatment lots of times, been to jail a few times, overdosed plenty, etc, and none of those really made me want to quit. The last time I went to treatment, it was my choice and I really didn't have any major consequences going on. I was just tired, I guess. And then I got involved in AA and met awesome people and their lives were going so much better than mine (they had jobs and money and boyfriends and were fairly emotionally stable) so I thought id give it a go.
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we have a similar history actually. im 21 now, ive been using dope erryday since i was 18 , and ive been abusing opi's and other drugs daily since i was 14.. as for me, ive been to NA meetings countless times, and ive met really cool people that had been sober forEVER, like 20 years!!! but still NA/AA does not work for me.. for what ever reason 12 step programs just do not work for me..it works for some, but it doesnt work for everyone... however i am not addicted to heroin atm, so that is a HUGE + .... I have gone through so many hardships as a result of my heroin addiction, and eventually i was finally tired of using :D on may 22 2012 i got on methadone maintenance..

being on methadone beats the hell out of being on dope!! i hated being on dope, because of all the drama from that next hit mentality/lifestyle. i have been homeless, have lived in crack houses and sold crack to support my addictions. one winter i lived in my car, and the fucked up part is that the driver side window wouldnt roll up! it was stuck completely open. so i was sleeping in my car, freezing my ass off, having dreams of getting attacked by thugs in my car while sleeping :(

eventually i came to the conclusion that the drugs were not worth being homeless!!! i am no longer homeless :) i dont take my privileges for granted any more. i appreciate the shit out of having a warm bed to sleep in during cold winter nights.. i appreciate being able to watch tv or go on the internet. i apppreciate being able to take a shower and go swimming :) now since ive been off of heroin, ive had a newfound appreciation for my life.. but when i was using daily it was more of a slow suicide and i didnt appreciate anything but dope, which is a big problem and a fucked up belief that needs to change.
 
Hope everyone has a great labor day weekend. By by summertime I'm gonna miss you.
 
xxkcxx said:
my favorite animal is the giant squid, so my boyfriend said he was going to make me a giant squid kite. Well, he soon realized making a kite is not for amateurs, so...he bought me one.

squidkite.jpg


that's a 10 ft mother fucking kite.
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that is an amazing kite. i want to fly your kite ;)
 
RecklessWOT said:
Congrats woman!
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thank you, my love :)

The Rock Monster said:
we have a similar history actually. im 21 now, ive been using dope erryday since i was 18 , and ive been abusing opi's and other drugs daily since i was 14.. as for me, ive been to NA meetings countless times, and ive met really cool people that had been sober forEVER, like 20 years!!! but still NA/AA does not work for me.. for what ever reason 12 step programs just do not work for me..it works for some, but it doesnt work for everyone... however i am not addicted to heroin atm, so that is a HUGE + .... I have gone through so many hardships as a result of my heroin addiction, and eventually i was finally tired of using :D on may 22 2012 i got on methadone maintenance..

being on methadone beats the hell out of being on dope!! i hated being on dope, because of all the drama from that next hit mentality/lifestyle. i have been homeless, have lived in crack houses and sold crack to support my addictions. one winter i lived in my car, and the fucked up part is that the driver side window wouldnt roll up! it was stuck completely open. so i was sleeping in my car, freezing my ass off, having dreams of getting attacked by thugs in my car while sleeping :(

eventually i came to the conclusion that the drugs were not worth being homeless!!! i am no longer homeless :) i dont take my privileges for granted any more. i appreciate the shit out of having a warm bed to sleep in during cold winter nights.. i appreciate being able to watch tv or go on the internet. i apppreciate being able to take a shower and go swimming :) now since ive been off of heroin, ive had a newfound appreciation for my life.. but when i was using daily it was more of a slow suicide and i didnt appreciate anything but dope, which is a big problem and a fucked up belief that needs to change.
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I agree 12 step is not the only method of recovery, but I will say that I tried it several times before getting clean this time and thought it didn't work for me either. But, I wasn't really working the program. I would go to meetings every so often, not talk to anyone, never get a sponsor or work steps. Lo and behold it started working when I did :)

Good for you for for getting on methadone and turning everything around. I was on suboxone for about the first year + of my sobriety. I think I've been off like 3 or 4 months now. I totally agree that being on that probably helped a good deal as well.

The Rock Monster said:
that is an amazing kite. i want to fly your kite ;)
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i know right?!?! can't wait to fly it tomorrow!
 
WOW! Congrats KC! Here's to another 18 months! Cheers!

(i have raised my can of diet coke and am doing an imaginary toast to you- kind of like how Clint Eastwood was talking to an empty chair?)

And Mass08 has a point - I could NOT hang out on BL unless I was a mod, trying to help people with HR, if I was sober. It would make me want to use. Then again, maybe not. Perhaps reading our misadventures makes you feel better about getting out of the game!?

Mass08 said:
wow kc thats amazing. Congratulations. Honestly BL would be big trigger for me if I was sober.
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xxkcxx said:
happy 18 months to me :)

it's so weird that I'm posting this here.
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The Rock Monster said:
we have a similar history actually. im 21 now, ive been using dope erryday since i was 18 , and ive been abusing opi's and other drugs daily since i was 14.. as for me, ive been to NA meetings countless times, and ive met really cool people that had been sober forEVER, like 20 years!!! but still NA/AA does not work for me.. for what ever reason 12 step programs just do not work for me..it works for some, but it doesnt work for everyone... however i am not addicted to heroin atm, so that is a HUGE + .... I have gone through so many hardships as a result of my heroin addiction, and eventually i was finally tired of using :D on may 22 2012 i got on methadone maintenance..

being on methadone beats the hell out of being on dope!! i hated being on dope, because of all the drama from that next hit mentality/lifestyle. i have been homeless, have lived in crack houses and sold crack to support my addictions. one winter i lived in my car, and the fucked up part is that the driver side window wouldnt roll up! it was stuck completely open. so i was sleeping in my car, freezing my ass off, having dreams of getting attacked by thugs in my car while sleeping :(

eventually i came to the conclusion that the drugs were not worth being homeless!!! i am no longer homeless :) i dont take my privileges for granted any more. i appreciate the shit out of having a warm bed to sleep in during cold winter nights.. i appreciate being able to watch tv or go on the internet. i apppreciate being able to take a shower and go swimming :) now since ive been off of heroin, ive had a newfound appreciation for my life.. but when i was using daily it was more of a slow suicide and i didnt appreciate anything but dope, which is a big problem and a fucked up belief that needs to change.
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Wow Rock Monster! What a story! I know that this is KC's day, but you deserve a congratulations as well. You are way too young to have been through that much addiction and scary shit. I'll send you some good vibes today too!
Gwen
 
I was on suboxone for about the first year + of my sobriety.
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so how long have you been clean then? confusing... less then 6 months off everything? one thing that turned me off of meetings were people in there all doped on bupe/methadone/benzos yet claimed they were clean, hello.

i have over 2.5 years clean [no opiates/no benzos, i did take some opiates in the hospital for a kidney stone though]. 10 yr daily iv heroin, 2 yrs methadone, 8-9 years on suboxone, last 3-4 years stopped using dope entirely, 8 yr daily benzo habit, 3 year daily speed run. the speed is really what made everything tumble down but in the end i guess that was a good thing.

I feel so good not waking up sick, so nice.
 
^ So if a person has severe anxiety to the point of not being able to function without benzos, that person isn't clean?
 
wiggi said:
^ So if a person has severe anxiety to the point of not being able to function without benzos, that person isn't clean?
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technically, no.

it's maintenance.


edit: i'm referring to those that have a history of abuse with said narcotic.



and sorry i'm late to the party, happy belated b-day HoL and congrats on the sobriety miss kc!
 
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wiggi said:
^ So if a person has severe anxiety to the point of not being able to function without benzos, that person isn't clean?
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You can have extreme anxiety. You can be prescribed benzos. For years, in fact. But if "the man" gets a whiff that you're abusing them. BOOM! You're cut off. Cold turkey. The pharmacy will not fill your prescription. And you're on a list with the FDA and maybe the DEA. And they call your shrink or GP and say "think twice before you prescribe to her" and send a list over of all of the benzos you've been getting at all of the pharmacies (and if one was like me, i had scams running everywhere) and if this is a big list, you're in trouble with the doctor who becomes paranoid and won't prescribe to you anymore.

True story. Because it happened to me. But I'm scripted now all over the place again but being really really really really careful this time....

This happened to me.
 
^ Benzo withdrawal is considered a medical emergency, one where the ER is obligated by law to treat you since you can die or have seizures.

What you are describing is doctor shopping, not exactly what most people with legitimate anxiety would do.
 
wiggi said:
^ Benzo withdrawal is considered a medical emergency, one where the ER is obligated by law to treat you since you can die or have seizures.

What you are describing is doctor shopping, not exactly what most people with legitimate anxiety would do.
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People with legitimate conditions don't need to shop docs.
 
I was told by the shrink who was giving me 4mgs a day to deal with it. No more. Done. Take more Cymbalta. It took me two weeks to sort myself out. This was about 5 years ago or so.

My GP gave me Klonopin .5 three times a day and that didn't help.

There was no doctor shopping involved. There was pharmacy shopping. Using prescriptions at different pharmacies paying cash for one, insurance on the other - every 15 days.

The doctor got me addicted, essentially. I had legitimate anxiety. Still do. But don't rely on benzos anymore...
wiggi said:
^ Benzo withdrawal is considered a medical emergency, one where the ER is obligated by law to treat you since you can die or have seizures.

What you are describing is doctor shopping, not exactly what most people with legitimate anxiety would do.
Click to expand...
 
ohline said:
technically, no.

it's maintenance.


edit: i'm referring to those that have a history of abuse with said narcotic.



and sorry i'm late to the party, happy belated b-day HoL and congrats on the sobriety miss kc!
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why thank you

12 hours at work, just got home n had the little lady baby powder my balls n ass

chaffed pretty bad at work today

bout to go to a coworkers b day party

yall take care
 
Congrats Rock Monster. Glad to hear you turned things around and are enjoying where you are in life atm.
 
yeah he stopped doing dope and is saving money but i dont know if 320mg of methadone is something to be proud of..good luck coming down from that..im suprised they even let you get that high


but me i forgot how easy it is to get laid..i went over a year and half with out getting laid(maybe longetr and i dont want to admit it ) and im talking fuckin, not dome ...i know, lame on my part but i had something better to keep me company..dope. and im sure all you know when youre doin dope sex is the last thing on your mind. well i had to take a drop like a week ad a half ago and was clean for 6-7days before that. well i wasnt using and went out with some friends and got lucky. then like 4days later same shit occured and it was pretty unbelieveable.

now what brings it up is being that was friday one of those girls hit me up for round 2 and i almost blew her off but i knocked somesense back in head and met up with her. went to her place and goodtimes occured but i think she might want something more cause she was already trying to make plans again. i was trying to break my laziness dryspell cause really thats all it was, laziness. i didnt want to go out and socialize, i just wanted to get high and even though i still want to get high, maybe a little vagina can be mixed in wit hthe days im not getting high.

the only downfall is she looked a little bittoo much like my ex who really fucked me up..so i dont know what to think about that.
 
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