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My Parents, and marijuana. help me please

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ar.izona

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Feb 18, 2016
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Hi. I'll try to keep this very brief (or at least as brief as I can) so I have some really bad anxiety issues. When I say I have anxiety, I mean it. I'm not some 13 girl that wants attention. I suffer from it, and quite frankly, it sucks more than anything. Anyways, I'm 15 and I've been smoking weed for about 1 year now. My parents have caught me too many times to count. Every single time it's the same punishment for a year. I get grounded. Now just recently I've actually patched things up with my mom and stepdad, whom I live with half the week. I have a generally good attitude towards them and I must say that it definitely paid off. Now my dad whom I live with the other half of the week absolutely despises me. Just hates me I've been grounded from my phone for 2 months and anytime I say anything really he just talks shit to me for at least 5 minutes. Even if it's not weed related the convo always re directs to how I'm a scum bag etc. and he usually ends his rant with " I can't believe you turned out this way, how did you turn out this way" he won't let me even talk to him about these issues. He tells me to shut up and that he's sick of my shit. My question is, why do my parents resent me? I try to make them happy but I can't stop smoking weed. It seriously helps me with everything. I can be better at socializing, it makes my mind not got 500000000 miles a second. I can eat, I can sleep. Why can't my parents understand this. I guess I could see why they don't want it in their house. I'm fine with that. I get it. But why can't I be treated like a human being. It feels like I'm just stuck in this hole. Please help.
 
well guys. Im not welcome at my fathers house anymore.. Nothing really happened i just made my mom come and get me and he went ballistic and told my to never come back. btw, about the whole "treat me like an adult" thing. he has told me many times that im not an adult and that i wont be and adult even when im 18. he says the government just wants you to be an adult so you can go to prison and pay taxes.. so yeah..?
 
What are your grades like? If it is anything less than an A average then you have nothing to complain about.

At 15 there are more important life determining factors where smoking weed can have an adverse effect. If you don't want to be told what to do, leave home and support yourself.

It worked for me and now my parents receive and allowance from me.
 
theGirlWithBlueHair said:
I'm surprised you still get grounded at 15. They should be treating you like a fucking adult. Tell them to fuck off and treat you with some fucking respect. Refuse to give them the fucking the phone. It seems like your parents just have some deep seated issues themselves and they are taking it out on you. I'm sure they do not hate you. But it's time you STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Tell them to get respect they need to give it.
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I agree but this isnt the case for everyone, thats what I did and it took 4 or so years till I was respected. I was experimenting with more drugs at your age tho I was taking xanax and smoking and drinking and had done shrooms and acid, by 17 I was iving heroin buying drugs from the blackmarket and such and my parents eventually found out about me iving heroin and they went from being pissed at me for smoking weed to wanting to help me and show they love and care for me because they realise they were part of the reason I did that shit, it was my only escape from the hell they put me in.

But maybe tell them how you feel and that smoking weed doesnt change who you are.
 
Some people will never get it. I was treating a personality disorder among other things. Parents decided to ruin my relationship with them forever in an attempt to punish me out of being a pothead. I was a 'druggie loser' to them, not someone who was self medicating obvious issues. Their plan didn't work as I just smoked more weed to prove my point. I rarely see them anymore and if I do, it's just awkward. Fuck 'em.

This is why cannabis can harm the developing mind. It doesn't actually do any damage, it is usually therapeutic. It is the hysteric reaction from parents that causes teens to develop anxiety disorders and shit down the road. Then they blame it on you smoking the weed and 'frying your brain' or some bullshit.

Don't try to talk to them about weed, it won't work. It will most likely start a huge argument if you try to defend yourself.

Also, do you dab concentrates? Because, that is the obvious choice for you I would think. Stealthy. Just start dabbing from a little rig and pretend that you quit. Tell them you hate weed now, while secretly you are dabbing all the time. This is what I've done and I haven't been caught in years, not that I give a fuck anymore, but it changes the way they interact with me. I am addicted to oxy too and nobody has a clue. Seriously, I know you're young but get your shit together and start hiding your habit better. There is no need for validation from others, you like pot and that's cool.

There is little smell from shatter and it doesn't smell like weed, few would recognize it for what it is. I was in an elevator the other day alone and who stepped in but a uniformed cop after just taking 4 massive dabs that would get me more lifted than multiple blunts. Had a friendly convo and walked out, said have a nice day. If that was bong I would have been fucked. Just do your dabs and play their bullshit game and move out asap. Also, it is even more difficult to prove that your habit is harmful if you are not smoking anything (vaporizing is way, way, way healthier long term and I'd totally recommend educating yourself about the wonderful world of dabbing cannabis concentrate if you have access).
 
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My Legal Cannabis clinic has many adolescent patients not only for terminal illnesses but anxiety/depression as well. Maybe get your Rx so that they can not legally harass you any more?

ar.izona said:
Hi. I'll try to keep this very brief (or at least as brief as I can) so I have some really bad anxiety issues. When I say I have anxiety, I mean it. I'm not some 13 girl that wants attention. I suffer from it, and quite frankly, it sucks more than anything. Anyways, I'm 15 and I've been smoking weed for about 1 year now. My parents have caught me too many times to count. Every single time it's the same punishment for a year. I get grounded. Now just recently I've actually patched things up with my mom and stepdad, whom I live with half the week. I have a generally good attitude towards them and I must say that it definitely paid off. Now my dad whom I live with the other half of the week absolutely despises me. Just hates me I've been grounded from my phone for 2 months and anytime I say anything really he just talks shit to me for at least 5 minutes. Even if it's not weed related the convo always re directs to how I'm a scum bag etc. and he usually ends his rant with " I can't believe you turned out this way, how did you turn out this way" he won't let me even talk to him about these issues. He tells me to shut up and that he's sick of my shit. My question is, why do my parents resent me? I try to make them happy but I can't stop smoking weed. It seriously helps me with everything. I can be better at socializing, it makes my mind not got 500000000 miles a second. I can eat, I can sleep. Why can't my parents understand this. I guess I could see why they don't want it in their house. I'm fine with that. I get it. But why can't I be treated like a human being. It feels like I'm just stuck in this hole. Please help.
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That's the deal with my mom. i rent a bedroom and office from her because its a huge 4 bedroom condo, and she has nothing to do with the space. (not cheap either btw)

I am a LEGAL medical marijuana patient by the way. My stuff always REEKS because its all high grade from LP's. She just hates the smell of weed, and I go to great lengths to make sure she does not see it or smell it. She Just does not want it in her home, which is legit IMO. Her home is her castle. But the point is that she cant legally do anything about my marijuana use, and if she harasses me I am the one who can call the cops. But I won't, because it's my mom, her house and I respect that.
 
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There are a lot of issues here, most not even relating to weed. Family counseling would do you a world of good. Having a father that berates you and undermines your confidence at 15 is despicable and no doubt a huge factor in your anxiety. Self medicating with weed for psychological problems is different than relaxing with weed and just kicks a can down the road and prevents you from developing strategies that are life skills. Anxiety is something that many of us here have had to learn to regulate in our own minds and it is a process that can take years. It is really just the process of learning to believe in yourself and I hate to see a young person rob themselves of that opportunity.

To everyone that thinks a 15 year old is an adult, I disagree. I was sure I was an adult at 15 and perhaps the knowledge that I was not only comes with hindsight. 15 is a wonderful time of life because you are truly standing with a foot in each world--the world of childhood and the world of adulthood. If you lived in the middle ages you would have been an adult and you might have been working for your own food or raising a family or forced to fight a war. Our modern culture gives you no adult responsibility and a prolonged adolescence that for many extends into their twenties. Unfortunately it also deprives you of a meaningful context for adulthood so now is the time to create your own meaning within yourself and your relationship to life.

My advice to you is to get support to begin to unravel the damage done by a father that tries to make you feel bad about yourself in the name of parenting. The sooner you can deal with this and create a mental shield, the better equipped you will be to deal with anxiety as an adult. I wish you the best of luck and admire you for sticking up for yourself and calling your mom to come get you out of that toxic situation.
 
theGirlWithBlueHair said:
I don't mean to do it a confrontational, argumentative, or upfront manner, or even in those words exactly. But to politely to tell them, 'you know, look, You need to start treating me like an adult - I am not a child anymore - and if you can not do me the decency to do that then you can just *insert phrase here*" Something along those lines...

Where is your mother in all of this?...does she just not care or something?
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Idk how you're relationship with your parents was, but I know mine (when I was younger) and probably 70% of every other 15 y/o's parents would laugh and/or slap the shit out of me/them for that. Don't do that OP.

My parents are very anti-weed and the only thing that got them to quit hassling me was turning 18, paying rent, and taking my happy ass outside when I wanna smoke. Like a few above have said, it sounds like there are more issues that need to be dealt with (professionally) before you worry about weed.

If I were you I would go to a doctor and get a benzo prescription if your anxiety is that bad. But then again I just like benzos. If you live in a legal state you could probably get a weed card for your type of issues.
 
ar.izona said:
Hi. I'll try to keep this very brief (or at least as brief as I can) so I have some really bad anxiety issues. When I say I have anxiety, I mean it. I'm not some 13 girl that wants attention. I suffer from it, and quite frankly, it sucks more than anything. Anyways, I'm 15 and I've been smoking weed for about 1 year now. My parents have caught me too many times to count. Every single time it's the same punishment for a year. I get grounded. Now just recently I've actually patched things up with my mom and stepdad, whom I live with half the week. I have a generally good attitude towards them and I must say that it definitely paid off. Now my dad whom I live with the other half of the week absolutely despises me. Just hates me I've been grounded from my phone for 2 months and anytime I say anything really he just talks shit to me for at least 5 minutes. Even if it's not weed related the convo always re directs to how I'm a scum bag etc. and he usually ends his rant with " I can't believe you turned out this way, how did you turn out this way" he won't let me even talk to him about these issues. He tells me to shut up and that he's sick of my shit. My question is, why do my parents resent me? I try to make them happy but I can't stop smoking weed. It seriously helps me with everything. I can be better at socializing, it makes my mind not got 500000000 miles a second. I can eat, I can sleep. Why can't my parents understand this. I guess I could see why they don't want it in their house. I'm fine with that. I get it. But why can't I be treated like a human being. It feels like I'm just stuck in this hole. Please help.
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Alright op, I didnt read anyone else's posts so sorry if I'm saying what's been said.
But first of all, listen to your parents young blood. In most cases, You'll do well.
Secondly, weed may help for now. But you need to find the root of the anxiety. You cannot rely on drugs for helping you cope. Trust me it'll send you down a very wrong path.
You're young yet, stop worrying so much being a teen is hard enough don't add psychedelics to the mix.
Experts agree Marijuana isn't necessarily harmful, however it should be used after ones brain has fully matured. You've got quite a ways to go lol.
Try meditation. Seriously, try that shit!
Especially when you're young, it can give you amazing body and head space feels.
At times better than being high.
And it can also help you sort the root of your anxiety and overcome it, instead of putting a bandaid on a wound that'll never heal. Ya dig? ;)
Now stop smoking pot and go be a teenager! Lol

Your mind goes 5000000000 miles and hour because the world programs young minds to be entirely restless. It's nothing wrong with you man. It's the broken system we live in.

Please take care of yourself.
If you have any questions feel free to pm me.
 
And your parents don't hate you, they may have their current situation which unfortunately projects onto you.
They won't talk or listen cause they're parents and they forget what it's like to be a kid.
Find a school counselor or someone you can talk to or a rando on the Internet. Just be safe. Talking definitely helps.
And the reason you can't eat or sleep without weed, is because it's somewhat addictive in the sense you'll have a very mild withdrawal once stopping use. Symptoms such as: agitation, lack of appetite, insomnia, wild vivid dreams, night sweats. And the list does go on lol but it'll all stop after about a week of not smoking. And over the counter medications can easily negate some of those symptoms.
 
devilsgospel said:
Idk how you're relationship with your parents was, but I know mine (when I was younger) and probably 70% of every other 15 y/o's parents would laugh and/or slap the shit out of me/them for that. Don't do that OP.

My parents are very anti-weed and the only thing that got them to quit hassling me was turning 18, paying rent, and taking my happy ass outside when I wanna smoke. Like a few above have said, it sounds like there are more issues that need to be dealt with (professionally) before you worry about weed.

If I were you I would go to a doctor and get a benzo prescription if your anxiety is that bad. But then again I just like benzos. If you live in a legal state you could probably get a weed card for your type of issues.
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For the love of Christ, this is a harm reduction site and you tell a 15yr old kid to go get a prescription for some benzos.?
Don't do that, benzos will make your anxiety worse in the long run.
Drugs are for responsible fun, not daily bandaids for our egos.
 
ChaosInTheER said:
For the love of Christ, this is a harm reduction site and you tell a 15yr old kid to go get a prescription for some benzos.?
Don't do that, benzos will make your anxiety worse in the long run.
Drugs are for responsible fun, not daily bandaids for our egos.
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How dare I suggest a medication that was designed to treat that exact illness! Goodness me!
 
Am I the only one who took the punishment and then tried to develop ways around getting caught? I can honestly say my parents are way to smart to be fooled 100% of the time but I joke now that I'm older "it was the constant cat and mouse game i played in order to get high that made me a good problem solver." I never directly challenged my parents as they have the ability to make my life a living hell. We didnt really have cell phones when i was 16 so they would have at least canceled my registration on the car or something to show me I am still dependent on them and thus need to respect them.

Hell I wasnt even able to stay out till 12am at 18 because they "didnt see why i had to be out that late" I never argued i just came home right before midnight up until i left for college. I would advise against disrespecting your parents as if they have it in them they can make your life hell... i mean my parents didnt even get my younger brother a lawyer and let him go to prison to learn a lesson.. maybe they are more sincere in their threats then other people, they did say they would only bail us out once lol.

But they will respect you eventually i always found it better to earn it on their terms rather then fight for it as if they arent some of the few people will always love you (ideally)

Having said that I would believe if you needed it to sleep at night as i always did, you can get away with smoking at night and leaving the window cracked during the summer. As far as anxiety you need to learn to deal with that through coping mechanisms. Prescription drugs are generally not the answer and if you practice confidence and learn to socialize youll do fine. I use to be quiet and lacking confidence but I learned to start conversations with random people simply by relating to the current situation and if that doesnt work just state the obvious "nice weather lately right?" At your age you can probably train away a lot of bad social skills through effort as they are not life time patterns yet.
 
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Your parents don't hate you, they just seem disappointed in you. Are you very open about smoking herb, and any other drugs you use? How often do you smoke weed? How are your grades? Since it's the summer are you working or taking any classes? Do you take any medication for your anxiety or do you talk to a therapist at abought it? These are all things to consider.

Also, keep in mind that your parents and step dad love you, and only want the best for you while you're a teenager and living with them.

As a teenager my mom knew I smoked herb and used other drugs like LSD, and alcohol and was OK with me trying them but did not want me to make a lifestyle around using drugs, so I would only smoke herb once or twice a month or sometimes I would not use it at all for months at a time, and I only used it when I was not busy with school or work, received excellent grades, and kept it discreet.
 
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When I was your age my parents were very against me using cannabis. While the one thing I can't argue that it may be a gateway drug in my opinion..(same with alcohol so not ssying much) There are thousands of beneficial therapeutic qualities to using cannabis. I did lots of research and wrote a 6 page essay with nothing but facts about cannabis and why it really shouldn't be illegal and gave it to my parents and after researching the facts they decided they would take me to get my medical card at 16.

Some parents are just more closed minded. But I think that could work given the fact that they can see you seem to really need it. Prove to them it's a natural medicine.
 
theGirlWithBlueHair said:
I don't mean to do it a confrontational, argumentative, or upfront manner, or even in those words exactly. But to politely to tell them, 'you know, look, You need to start treating me like an adult - I am not a child anymore - and if you can not do me the decency to do that then you can just *insert phrase here*" Something along those lines...

Where is your mother in all of this?...does she just not care or something?
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TERRIBLE ADVICE. Ignore this drivel OP.
 
szuko000 said:
Having said that I would believe if you needed it to sleep at night as i always did, you can get away with smoking at night and leaving the window cracked during the summer. Better to do Outside, take a walk, it's your parents house. As far as anxiety you need to learn to deal with that through coping mechanisms. I agree. Medications are not the best first method to cope with anxiety. I have GAD myself, so I know whats up. But Explore CBD's, they do not get you high, and they help with anxiety AND sleep. Prescription drugs are generally not the answer and if you practice confidence and learn to socialize youll do fine. I use to be quiet and lacking confidence but I learned to start conversations with random people simply by relating to the current situation and if that doesnt work just state the obvious "nice weather lately right?" At your age you can probably train away a lot of bad social skills through effort as they are not life time patterns yet.
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Feel free to PM.

Mike
 
Cannabis is demonized by society so much that some people cannot think that it is actually a medicine and can actually treats majority of psychological and physical illnesses. Instead doctors prescribe prescription pills left and right, but do not realize that is what is contributing to the high rate of addictions. I am not saying that people who really need the pill in order to live should not take them.
I would probably suggest sitting down and talking about how using cannabis for medicinal purposes really works for you.
 
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