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My never ending trip

J

Johnyb

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 11, 2016
Messages
9
Over the course of the past 2 years I have taken psychedelics about 15 times, mostly acid, three times shrooms, once or twice 25i. I am a deep tripper, learning in my first couple trips that just by thinking something, I can actually visualize it. I am able to control my trips very easily, changing the open eye visuals on command. If I want to see something all I have to do is think hard enough. I have also done moly/extacy a few times and I have been a daily heavy smoker of pot for the past 5 years.
About a month ago I did something called (candy flipping). Moly and acid at the same time. It came as a blue, typicall moly, round pill. I was told it was a pill of moly that had one drop of liquid acid dropped onto it. Could have been 25i whose knows. Guy told me to take half a pill, I ended up taking two. I had a great time during the experience, felt the roll more than the trip, but I was definitely feeling both highs.
About a week after candy flipping, I noticed whenever I smoked things would get wavey. The entire first week I thought it was just nausea, until I took 7 dabs one night before bed. A daily ritual, I can usually handle this amount of thc, but when I went to lay in my bed, I realize i wasn't just high. I was tripping. Not just a tiny amount of trailing or morphing. It actually felt more intense than my real trip the previous week. Now that I have identified the feeling, every time I smoke weed I have open eye visuals. That night I came to the realization, it was a horrible experience.
Its been over a month since my candy flip experience. I still get visuals off smoking weed. I can no longer smoke and drive, take dabs, or smoke a crazy amount of pot, I have to closely monitor how much weed I smoke so I don't start tripping out. Even when I'm sober if I stare at something long enough it will start sliding across the room, or slowly grow larger or smaller. So intense it makes my eyes water, a typical indication that I'm tripping. Also when there's blank noise such an an AC or a TV in another room, it appears to me as music or somebody talking in the distance.
All I have to do is think hard enough and I can even start tripping while sober. It takes lots of concentration and staring but it happens. But weed makes it impossible not to trip out. I am starting to think I have a condition called HPPD. Very rare and serious so this would be a problem that requires medical attention. I am aware what I am seeing isn't actually there or happening, my mind and actions are fully conscious, but my visuals are so intense they cannot be ignored.
I have never experienced anything like this after any dose of psycadelics I have taken. Even writing this long post is making my eyes stutter and squint. I'm starting to think this high dose combination of psycadelics and extaxy actually fucked my mind up. If anybody has any information, support, or just anything to say please go ahead and do. Because I'm at a dead point I have no idea what to do, or how or if I can ever go back to normal after candy flipping. Thanks for reading guys
 
The more I think about it the more it happens, I'd love to stop thinking about it but it's impossible to ignore sometimes
 
have you read the article i posted? it isn't permanent, though it may seem it - iirc simply exercising regularly, avoiding all drugs and alcohol and eating well are the best things you can do. speak to a doctor, its quite an obscure ailment so you may have to consult a specialist but don't lose hope, it will get better and if you ever need to talk to someone about it, even though my knowledge of your problem is strictly limited to an article from an art magazine and some mild brain damage, drop me a message.
 
When I took acid almost weekly for about half a year, I also noticed textures/patterns changing and breathing if I stared at them while sober. I also was able to reproduce, to some extent, the visuals I got when staring into a mirror while tripping. Back then I thought it was actually pretty cool, as it didn't interfere with my daily business and I would just needed to stop staring if I didn't feel like post-trip visuals. When I stopped taking psychedelics so often, these post-trip visuals gradually took more effort to recall while sober. These days I trip way less often, maybe twice a year at most, but generally during the first week after the trip I seem to be able to force the aforementioned visuals. Way less pronounced than they used to be, though. I always thought it was some form of hallucinogen (semi-)persisting perception disorder.

Now, I'm not sure whether this was of any use to you, but staying off psychedelics (and if you'd ask me, cannabis as well) for a while might just sort you out, as it did so for me. :)

EDIT: I just read the VICE article. IMO that's another cup of tea, as the subject's HPPD led to DPD. Whether that was due to the intensity of his HPPD, or possibly a latent form of anxiety is not really a point of interest IMO, as your daily life doesn't seem affected unless you put some effort into it or smoke cannabis.
 
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Sounds like hppd to me. I had it after a liquid acid megadose, it all went away after a year or two. I didn't have to smoke to achieve it, I was simply permafried (visually, my thought processes were ok). Ride it out, you'll be fine.
 
Does anyone else get the extra color saturation of Blue, violet and purple (and not other colors) for weeks after MDXX usage
 
shugenja said:
Does anyone else get the extra color saturation of Blue, violet and purple (and not other colors) for weeks after MDXX usage
Click to expand...
Yeah. For me it was always reds though. I think blue is more common. After heavy MDMA use all those bright flagging dots you see in the dark would join together into beautiful flowing fractals, if I concentrated. Nothing to worry about, it mostly fades. It did take years of abstinence though, and I still can't see black to this day (flashing multi coloured noise over anything dark shaded).
 
Wow great info guys thanks. Actually now that I think about it the color white is very hard for me to look at now. Any solid white color appears slightly yellowed to me. The other day I was cleaning bright white shiny tiles at work and I couldn't look at them for to long without feeling wavy haha.
 
Yah maybe I should look as it ands good thing, maybe like a free mini trip. But I defiantly have to be careful wile smoking just incase I'm not in a good environment. The only reason I'm concerned is that I'm not sure if my "trip like" smoking experience is effecting my brain in negative way, if you undertand what I mean. Am I just experience the bad effects of smoking cannabis, or I'm I actually experience mind alteration visualizations that could be effecting my brain in a very negative way? I hope you understand my questions, thanks very much guys much appreciated
 
I think it's all happening, but I think any bad stuff you've done to your brain is done already. You're lucky it's just when you smoke, that's a bonus. I was permatripping for a year, it got quite distracting. I don't think you're doing any more damage to your brain (well, no more than weed on its own does anyway).

It'll die down in time, I reckon. Enjoy it if possible.
 
The key is to frame it in a way that is not negative. Our brains are very powerful and suggestions can shape your reality. if you think, "oh no, I'm damaged", then to you, you'll be damaged. What you're experiencing is called HPPD, and it's commonly reported after heavy psychedelic usage, or for some people, even after one trip. It will fade over time, and in the meantime, if it's not causing you any problems, just try to accept it and not be bothered by it.
 
Thanks guys I really appreciate it, just being in a good happy mindset makes me feel better. I have also notice drugs like Xanax and alcohol make weed almost non psychedelic, but drugs like coke can make me feel wavy not even smoking pot. Not that I'm a daily user of either I know how bad Xanax can be its only a once in a wile thing, but just something to keep in mind for somebody doing research. You blue light guys are great, really thank you very much, just needed to talk to somebody about my problem and make sure I'm mentally okay if you guys understand. Please keep commenting and giving your input! Do you guys think I should give up paycadelics for good? Was this a warning sign to chill out?
 
I been feelin a little better lately, I'm learning to look as it as a cool/fun thing. I just really have to be careful when I dab or drive or smoke around girls and all that, I am a 20 year old sophomore in college for all those wondering. Hopefully this doesn't effect my learning haha!
 
Don't be scared, it'll go away in due course. Just got to make the best of it!
 
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