First of all I am new to this forum. I am male, around 65 kg and have been active for quite some time on other sites such as Eve Rave wanting to gain more information about MDMA. I have used MDMA 9 times over my life span in the following order:
1) 120 mg MDMA Hcl, pure
2) 35-50 mg MDMA, 2 weeks later, pure
3) 134 mg MDMA, 2 weeks later, pure
4) 134 mg MDMA, 1 weeks later, pure
5) 134 mg MDMA, 1 weeks later, pure or a beer?
6) 134 mg MDMA, mixed with 1 beer, 3 weeks later
7) 70 mg MDMA, mixed with 2 beer, 4 weeks later => Vision Problems
8 )140 mg MDMA Hcl, mixed with 1 beer, 5 months later
9) 100-140 mg MDMA, mixed with 1 beer, 5 and a half months later
I am not proud of my rolls. They gave me great pleasure, but in the end I wished I wouldn't have taken them. Researching through all kinds of studys I came to the conclusion that it is in fact highly neurotoxic compared to other substances. My greatest fear is the damage done to one of the oldest parts of the brain, the hyppocampus. This particular brain region is one of the most important brain regions, because it is such important for memory and recalling. I can't really tell if I have any noticeable brain damage, but I am scared as hell that the damage will show up in age. By the way, does anybody know the dosage used by Dr. GA Ricaurte in the famous monkey brain study? The picture is shown on http://www.dancesafe.org/drug-information/is-mdma-neurotoxic/, before and after use.
Now to the story how I got to MDMA. At the age of 14 I had an accident while skiing and fell in a coma for around 8 hours, after arriving at my hotel. During this time I was able to feel, hear and smell. Nobody noticed that I was in danger and so I was "sleeping" in my bed. It drove me nuts to hear all the people going in and out of my room. I was screaming, but nobody heard me. Arriving at the hospital, I finally woke up, but was unable to walk. I had to learn everything a second time from top to bottom, because I had no sense or motoric function. After 2-3 months I was back to normal and could walk again, like I did before.
Since that time I have had strong depressions getting worse from year to year. I started to hear voices, to have strange thoughts, being suicidal, to lose all feelings and emotions, stopped talking (spoke like 10-20 sentences a week), feared everything and became lonely. One day I was invited by an all friend to a party. That day I was suicidal again and I had nothing to lose. MDMA was such a great experience, because it gave me hope. I was able to feel again, I started to talk and did all the things I couldn't do. MDMA was also the only other hard drug besides alcohol (30-40 beers over the last 5 years)I ever took. Now I am going to go to a clinic for depressions. If I could talk to my oldself I would tell him to search for help, but it is to late now. At least I am not addicted to it anymore( I had to throw most of the pills away, that I wouldn't take them). Is it likely that I have done any severe damage to my brain? I am done with MDMA.
P.S.: I am german, so excuse my language
1) 120 mg MDMA Hcl, pure
2) 35-50 mg MDMA, 2 weeks later, pure
3) 134 mg MDMA, 2 weeks later, pure
4) 134 mg MDMA, 1 weeks later, pure
5) 134 mg MDMA, 1 weeks later, pure or a beer?
6) 134 mg MDMA, mixed with 1 beer, 3 weeks later
7) 70 mg MDMA, mixed with 2 beer, 4 weeks later => Vision Problems
8 )140 mg MDMA Hcl, mixed with 1 beer, 5 months later
9) 100-140 mg MDMA, mixed with 1 beer, 5 and a half months later
I am not proud of my rolls. They gave me great pleasure, but in the end I wished I wouldn't have taken them. Researching through all kinds of studys I came to the conclusion that it is in fact highly neurotoxic compared to other substances. My greatest fear is the damage done to one of the oldest parts of the brain, the hyppocampus. This particular brain region is one of the most important brain regions, because it is such important for memory and recalling. I can't really tell if I have any noticeable brain damage, but I am scared as hell that the damage will show up in age. By the way, does anybody know the dosage used by Dr. GA Ricaurte in the famous monkey brain study? The picture is shown on http://www.dancesafe.org/drug-information/is-mdma-neurotoxic/, before and after use.
Now to the story how I got to MDMA. At the age of 14 I had an accident while skiing and fell in a coma for around 8 hours, after arriving at my hotel. During this time I was able to feel, hear and smell. Nobody noticed that I was in danger and so I was "sleeping" in my bed. It drove me nuts to hear all the people going in and out of my room. I was screaming, but nobody heard me. Arriving at the hospital, I finally woke up, but was unable to walk. I had to learn everything a second time from top to bottom, because I had no sense or motoric function. After 2-3 months I was back to normal and could walk again, like I did before.
Since that time I have had strong depressions getting worse from year to year. I started to hear voices, to have strange thoughts, being suicidal, to lose all feelings and emotions, stopped talking (spoke like 10-20 sentences a week), feared everything and became lonely. One day I was invited by an all friend to a party. That day I was suicidal again and I had nothing to lose. MDMA was such a great experience, because it gave me hope. I was able to feel again, I started to talk and did all the things I couldn't do. MDMA was also the only other hard drug besides alcohol (30-40 beers over the last 5 years)I ever took. Now I am going to go to a clinic for depressions. If I could talk to my oldself I would tell him to search for help, but it is to late now. At least I am not addicted to it anymore( I had to throw most of the pills away, that I wouldn't take them). Is it likely that I have done any severe damage to my brain? I am done with MDMA.
P.S.: I am german, so excuse my language
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