My husband is addicted

[Christina0007]

Hello! I really need your advice! My husband is addicted to drugs (ice) and alcohol. It's very hard for me. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing every time because he has anger issues and we often fight. Overall, he's a very nice guy, he loves me, but sometimes I don't recognize him. He wants to stop drugs and alcohol for me, but every time we go back to where we started. One day, a week ago, he hurt my heart very much, he started looking for girls on a dating app in front of me and was even going to go to one of them to have sex. To the question of why, "I just want it that way." Before that, there was a case in the car, he accelerated very much. I wanted to call his father, but he said if I did he would kill us. I was very scared, he was drunk. I love him, but I'm afraid it will never end. What should I do? Run away? Or support him to the end? God, I have so many thoughts and questions. I do not know where to go, I am very dependent on him right now. I'm in a foreign country, alone. I have nowhere to live. I'm so scared sometimes.

 

[Christina0007]

And he addicted from porn ( he masturbate even im near at home on porn. And can’t cum

 

[kiely]

You can NOT tell him that you want to leave him, because if he gets violent then there is a chance that he could really try to harm you.

Don't tell him that you are planning to leave and make sure to leave when he is not around and when he would least expect you getting away

at least until he can get better. Don't let him blame you either for his faults.

I am sure that he loved you at one time and had love for each other. But right now he sure doesn't sound like somebody that will be safe to

be around anymore or any time too soon at least. Don't feel bad and blame yourself. Things like this happen all of the time to people.

Maybe if you can find a safe place to go and a very safe way to leave it would be the best for your safety and well being and definitely your

peace of mind.

He is just sick and most likely will need a lot of help somehow now. But your priority right now should be your well being and your

safety and hopefully he can find a way to get proper help. It really sounds like his situation is escalating and not going to get any better and that

would be completely unfair to you.

Try to find a safe place to go and try to get out when you are ready. Maybe he is just blaming you for his behavior. I am really so sorry that you

have to go through something so terrible and traumatic, I really am. I hope he will not cause you to suffer too much.

Take Care. Keep asking for support and advice as well. You are making a good decision already by looking out to others for help and support.

 

[Christina0007]

You can NOT tell him that you want to leave him, because if he gets violent then there is a chance that he could really try to harm you.

Don't tell him that you are planning to leave and make sure to leave when he is not around and when he would least expect you getting away

at least until he can get better. Don't let him blame you either for his faults.

I am sure that he loved you at one time and had love for each other. But right now he sure doesn't sound like somebody that will be safe to

be around anymore or any time too soon at least. Don't feel bad and blame yourself. Things like this happen all of the time to people.

Maybe if you can find a safe place to go and a very safe way to leave it would be the best for your safety and well being and definitely your

peace of mind.

He is just sick and most likely will need a lot of help somehow now. But your priority right now should be your well being and your

safety and hopefully he can find a way to get proper help. It really sounds like his situation is escalating and not going to get any better and that

would be completely unfair to you.

Try to find a safe place to go and try to get out when you are ready. Maybe he is just blaming you for his behavior. I am really so sorry that you

have to go through something so terrible and traumatic, I really am. I hope he will not cause you to suffer too much.

Take Care. Keep asking for support and advice as well. You are making a good decision already by looking out to others for help and support.

Thanks a lot for advice! I will think about it. I’m really love him . But sometimes I’m afraid him

 

[kiely]

Thanks a lot for advice! I will think about it. I’m really love him . But sometimes I’m afraid him

I know. Honest. I do.

But we can't let him hurt you. Okay.

 

[Christina0007]

I know. Honest. I do.

But we can't let him hurt you. Okay.

I know . Im not deserve rude and hurt words from him

 

[December Flower]

Try to find a way out before he kills you or severly hurts you, that's my advice

You do not want to be around when this timebomb blows

 

[Christina0007]

Try to find a way out before he kills you or severly hurts you, that's my advice

You do not want to be around when this timebomb blows

Thanks for advice

 

[kiely]

Try to stay calm. You can work this out.

Just stay safe right now k.

 

[nznity]

A person who truly loves you, doesn't act like that. He seems like a very self centered egotistical master manipulator. There's a lot of red flags tbhonest. U could try for a bit, but if u keep seeing signs that he won't change. It's useless, ud be better off alone

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Hello! I really need your advice! My husband is addicted to drugs (ice) and alcohol. It's very hard for me. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing every time because he has anger issues and we often fight. Overall, he's a very nice guy, he loves me, but sometimes I don't recognize him. He wants to stop drugs and alcohol for me, but every time we go back to where we started. One day, a week ago, he hurt my heart very much, he started looking for girls on a dating app in front of me and was even going to go to one of them to have sex. To the question of why, "I just want it that way." Before that, there was a case in the car, he accelerated very much. I wanted to call his father, but he said if I did he would kill us. I was very scared, he was drunk. I love him, but I'm afraid it will never end. What should I do? Run away? Or support him to the end? God, I have so many thoughts and questions. I do not know where to go, I am very dependent on him right now. I'm in a foreign country, alone. I have nowhere to live. I'm so scared sometimes.

He is not only addicted, he is also physically/ metally and emotionally abusing you. Makes threat's to kill you. , DUI to many reason's to get away. Supporting him is not your first concern getting out to a safe place is more important.

Are you on vacation or something, but totally dependent on him. basickly cut of from friends or family.

Asking help, for yourself is not a crime, if possible call someone for help that can relate and get you out o there. The behaviour towards you is totally unacceptable. Maybe if you get your self out of that horror scenario, and have helped youself. Think back again if you would still support him, assuming he intends to stay clean. He did abuse you, don't foget that.

I wish you can get out, to a loved on. As this seem's like a very stressful situation your in and dangerous.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Thanks for advice

I mean. I understand he’s sick but I never actually cheated on my girl. And we were in similiar positions as you all. I was in active addiction but I never once got violent or aggressive with her. I always hid from her lol.

And I ain’t no punk, but there is no wrath like a woman’s wrath lol or however that goes and she would throw shit at me and shit just because I relapsed so yeah not exactly the same boat.

So what I’m saying is I know I need to take my own advice but leave him. Dont tell him like Kiely said. Just leave

A. He’s a danger to you even if you don’t see it at times.

B. Even if he’s on drugs doesn’t give him the right to totally and completely disregard you and your needs as in bare minimum at that (don’t cheat, don’t get aggressive etc) and I have bipolar disorder at that. Everyone knows stims and bd aren’t necessarily a good combo

C. You are seeing the real him I think because I was on stimulants for a year and I never got like that towards my girl even when she threw shit at me. But I’ll beat a man down in a heart beat.

D. It’s likely going to get worse before it gets better because he can’t stay quit for you so he will use again if that’s his motivation. What happens when you all get in an arguement as all couples do down the road and he is mad at you. He goes uses I bet money. But can’t say for sure.

E. Your hot. Leave him. =p

 

[Christina0007]

Try to stay calm. You can work this out.

Just stay safe right now k.

Thanks u so much. U are so kind

 

[Christina0007]

A person who truly loves you, doesn't act like that. He seems like a very self centered egotistical master manipulator. There's a lot of red flags tbhonest. U could try for a bit, but if u keep seeing signs that he won't change. It's useless, ud be better off alone

Oh, yeah ! He is good manipulator. I know it’s already. Yeah , I will try a little bit. Thanks for your support

 

[Christina0007]

He is not only addicted, he is also physically/ metally and emotionally abusing you. Makes threat's to kill you. , DUI to many reason's to get away. Supporting him is not your first concern getting out to a safe place is more important.

Are you on vacation or something, but totally dependent on him. basickly cut of from friends or family.

Asking help, for yourself is not a crime, if possible call someone for help that can relate and get you out o there. The behaviour towards you is totally unacceptable. Maybe if you get your self out of that horror scenario, and have helped youself. Think back again if you would still support him, assuming he intends to stay clean. He did abuse you, don't foget that.

I wish you can get out, to a loved on. As this seem's like a very stressful situation your in and dangerous.

Thanks for your support. But I’m political asylum seeker and I have no idea what to do next . Because I love him and I’m alive here . Sometimes I’m scared . I don’t have family and friends. I was run away from my home ( . And I don’t have money .

 

[Christina0007]

I mean. I understand he’s sick but I never actually cheated on my girl. And we were in similiar positions as you all. I was in active addiction but I never once got violent or aggressive with her. I always hid from her lol.

And I ain’t no punk, but there is no wrath like a woman’s wrath lol or however that goes and she would throw shit at me and shit just because I relapsed so yeah not exactly the same boat.

So what I’m saying is I know I need to take my own advice but leave him. Dont tell him like Kiely said. Just leave

A. He’s a danger to you even if you don’t see it at times.

B. Even if he’s on drugs doesn’t give him the right to totally and completely disregard you and your needs as in bare minimum at that (don’t cheat, don’t get aggressive etc) and I have bipolar disorder at that. Everyone knows stims and bd aren’t necessarily a good combo

C. You are seeing the real him I think because I was on stimulants for a year and I never got like that towards my girl even when she threw shit at me. But I’ll beat a man down in a heart beat.

D. It’s likely going to get worse before it gets better because he can’t stay quit for you so he will use again if that’s his motivation. What happens when you all get in an arguement as all couples do down the road and he is mad at you. He goes uses I bet money. But can’t say for sure.

E. Your hot. Leave him.

Thanks for your support. But I’m political asylum seeker and I have no idea what to do next . Because I love him and I’m alive here . Sometimes I’m scared . I don’t have family and friends. I was run away from my home ( . And I don’t have money .

thanks for your advices . I love him . And I wanna help him . Do u think what I can’t do anything?

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Thanks for your support. But I’m political asylum seeker and I have no idea what to do next . Because I love him and I’m alive here . Sometimes I’m scared . I don’t have family and friends. I was run away from my home ( . And I don’t have money .

There’s abused women helplines and shelters for abused women. Better than staying in that relationship and they will help you get in your own feet. Asylum seeker or not

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Well idk. I assume you talked to him about how he is treating you and how it’s affecting you and it wasn’t productive. So no I don’t. I’m sorry.

Now there’s always things that surprise me in life so it’s possible but idk…doesn’t sound good and sounds like he may know you think you are helpless because you are here seeking asylum.

My guess is you know you’re not helpless but don’t want to do what’s necessary because you think you love him. Or maybe you do. Idk how you could.

 

[Christina0007]

Well idk. I assume you talked to him about how he is treating you and how it’s affecting you and it wasn’t productive. So no I don’t. I’m sorry.

Now there’s always things that surprise me in life so it’s possible but idk…doesn’t sound good and sounds like he may know you think you are helpless because you are here seeking asylum.

My guess is you know you’re not helpless but don’t want to do what’s necessary because you think you love him. Or maybe you do. Idk how you could.

Yea ,I love him! He is a good guy when he doesn’t use alcohol drugs ! He try to drop it for me ! He goes in rehab and to psychologist

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Yea ,I love him! He is a good guy when he doesn’t use alcohol drugs ! He try to drop it for me ! He goes in rehab and to psychologist

What you are not seeming to hear me say is that if he is doing it for you. If you are his “why” that is a weak and flimsy “why” when it comes to quitting drugs. I have known no one, not saying they don’t exist, that got clean and stayed clean for a girl or a boy. Ultimately, one day the drugs why is stronger than their why because once how we feel about someone changes over time.

What I mean is say you guys get in an argument, he’s mad at you, maybe he even doesn’t think he likes you in that moment because he’s angry, how strong is his why now?

If he’s doing it for you, it means he doesn’t want to quit. You want him to. Don’t you think if he could have done it for you he would have? Regardless how much someone loves someone, it doesn’t work ime.

But hey that’s my experience maybe it will work for you.