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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Bupe My Fellow Opiate Professionals - let’s talk detox protocols

@Deru @negrogesic @PrincessDiz @jhjhsdi @4meSM

guys I need some help.
Some clarity.

I changed my mind and have been working to set up a sober living back in my home state. They will be strict. Curfew meetings drug tests etc.

I was supposed to go to a wilderness type program for 3-9 months. But I’m saying fuck that.

it would cost a fortune, and ultimately I’d build a life out here that honestly chances are I’m not staying for. So why build a sober community in a place and make all these connections just to fly 2,000 miles away and have start over.

I know some good sober connections in my home state. They’re willing to help me.

am I really being that unreasonable? I bet these fucks get a commission if I go to the wilderness place. I hate how immoral this these places are.

I need to make decisions for my life snd for what’s gonna be best for me. I don’t want to go sit in a rehab in some mountain. I want to fucking live. Free.

please give me your insights. I trust you guys more than these actual clinicians
 
@OpiateKiller by the sounds of it you've already made your mind up pal. I can see your reasoning for sure.
If you're definitely going back, then yeah do the whole thing there.
They will probably tell you you'll never stay sober at home because of the people you mix with, local dealers, etc, but you can change that if you get a new phone number and delete theirs, delete them from social media etc.
For all I know you only ever used alone anyway and scored from the DN 🤷‍♂️
If you want it, like really want it, then I'm sure you'll do it. Once again, best of luck!
 
I think if you really want a fresh start and to start over then go to the wilderness place . If you stay near home around the same people and same way of life you will relapse . Plus nature is very healing and gives great peace . I would do the wilderness place if you are serious about getting your life together . Best of luck 🤞
 
jhjhsdi said:
@OpiateKiller by the sounds of it you've already made your mind up pal. I can see your reasoning for sure.
If you're definitely going back, then yeah do the whole thing there.
They will probably tell you you'll never stay sober at home because of the people you mix with, local dealers, etc, but you can change that if you get a new phone number and delete theirs, delete them from social media etc.
For all I know you only ever used alone anyway and scored from the DN 🤷‍♂️
If you want it, like really want it, then I'm sure you'll do it. Once again, best of luck!
Click to expand...

Thank you. I think my mind is made up as well. And we're very similar my drugs all came from DN besides my methadone prescription, and I too use alone almost always.
The only time I'm doing something with people is going out drinking alcohol. Besides that my drug use is singular.

Larimar said:
I think if you really want a fresh start and to start over then go to the wilderness place . If you stay near home around the same people and same way of life you will relapse . Plus nature is very healing and gives great peace . I would do the wilderness place if you are serious about getting your life together . Best of luck 🤞
Click to expand...

Thank you as well. I do appreciate your advice and I am going to try and make the best decision for me and my life.
 
Hey man, can I ask, why are you getting off the methadone?

I know it has such a stigma surrounding it and a lot of people don't even consider you clean while you're on it but for me it's a life saver.

Believe me man heroin took nearly everything from me also, friends, any chance of a decent career, not that I was interested in that back then but it would be bloody cool now, and I spent years in prison, if not for the methadone I would be either dead or a full time jail bird, it saved my life and I see it far more as a positive than a negetive.

Anyway, really I am just curious, it's your life and your choice and I sincerely hope it works out for you.

If you using involved the dn then that is an advantage, not having a network of contacts you are bound to bump in to.

I am not a fan of doing the "geographic" in my experience it hardly ever works, it doesn't matter where you are you can always get on if you try hard enough, the change you need to make is internal.

It sounds like while you may have caused your family some pain they are still in your life, don't take that for granted man, it means a lot.

One more thing, I'm sure you've heard this before but the mind can make wd's much worse or much better depending on where your head is at, so don't convince yourself that you will be sick as a dog when the bup leaves, the protocol you're on is comprehensive, do the full bup taper and by the time all the bup leaves you might not be that bad at all, you could find that some clonidine and some diazepam and you will be ok.



All the best mate`

Edit.

Man I just thought I'd have a look in the ped forum and straight away I spotted your post, as I mentioned briefly in my previous post I also have a fair amount of experience using aas and I am currently on trt, one of the negetives about being on methadone for so long, it does have a negetive effect on test levels.

Anyway as I understand your post it sounds like you have been using test as well as other aas for the last year or so, if you have been on this long then you are going to make things much much worse for yourself if your levels of test bottom out as well as coming off the methadone.

Personally I think using aas at the same time as rec drugs is very counter productive but at this point that's irrelevant.

Seriously though man I would settle in to a trt protocol for at least the next few months, try to keep things as stable as possible until you get the methadone sorted out and then after that start thinking about doing some cycles when you are ready.

Just my opinion man, again wishing you all the best.
 
Last edited:
vision conquest said:
Hey man, can I ask, why are you getting off the methadone?

I know it has such a stigma surrounding it and a lot of people don't even consider you clean while you're on it but for me it's a life saver.

Believe me man heroin took nearly everything from me also, friends, any chance of a decent career, not that I was interested in that back then but it would be bloody cool now, and I spent years in prison, if not for the methadone I would be either dead or a full time jail bird, it saved my life and I see it far more as a positive than a negetive.

Anyway, really I am just curious, it's your life and your choice and I sincerely hope it works out for you.

If you using involved the dn then that is an advantage, not having a network of contacts you are bound to bump in to.

I am not a fan of doing the "geographic" in my experience it hardly ever works, it doesn't matter where you are you can always get on if you try hard enough, the change you need to make is internal.

It sounds like while you may have caused your family some pain they are still in your life, don't take that for granted man, it means a lot.

One more thing, I'm sure you've heard this before but the mind can make wd's much worse or much better depending on where your head is at, so don't convince yourself that you will be sick as a dog when the bup leaves, the protocol you're on is comprehensive, do the full bup taper and by the time all the bup leaves you might not be that bad at all, you could find that some clonidine and some diazepam and you will be ok.



All the best mate`

Edit.

Man I just thought I'd have a look in the ped forum and straight away I spotted your post, as I mentioned briefly in my previous post I also have a fair amount of experience using aas and I am currently on trt, one of the negetives about being on methadone for so long, it does have a negetive effect on test levels.

Anyway as I understand your post it sounds like you have been using test as well as other aas for the last year or so, if you have been on this long then you are going to make things much much worse for yourself if your levels of test bottom out as well as coming off the methadone.

Personally I think using aas at the same time as rec drugs is very counter productive but at this point that's irrelevant.

Seriously though man I would settle in to a trt protocol for at least the next few months, try to keep things as stable as possible until you get the methadone sorted out and then after that start thinking about doing some cycles when you are ready.

Just my opinion man, again wishing you all the best.
Click to expand...

Honestly the reason I’m here is because I used meth about 6 times. I got kicked out of my parents house. I have some money but hotels and motels and COViD and drug binges get old pretty quick.

Im getting off the methadone because I couldn’t use it right. Cause of COVID my clinic was giving me a lock box with 13 days of take homes ... that was almost 2,000 mg of methadone at once.

plus the last few months I’ve been Iving that crap. Not good. I’d run through 4 days of doses the first Monday I got the take homes.

take homes were the worst thing that ever happened to me.

then I started hitting up an old friend and banging dope on top of my methadone.

my drug use is fucking downhill fast. And often.

I should have just not faked my piss test failed and been forced to get doses every morning. I’d probably still be at home.
 
So update - everyone I love is abandoning me if I go back home to a sober house.

it’s been a fucking emotional rollercoaster of a day. I honestly almost walked out this place and went to go score some BTH to blast off.

I’m still here though.

its fucking bullshit man I have a solid recovery plan for going home. I’m not hiding shit I’m doing it for real sober houses meetings drug tests the whole 9.

my dad basically if I come home fuck off? And my girlfriend of 5 years said she’ll dump me?

like wtf? Why didn’t they fucking abandon me 10 days ago when I had a needle in my arm. Cause then I coulda just fucking ended this life of pain I’m currently living in.

I need some divine intervention.

I’m fucking going home though they can all abandon me I’m friends with the owner of a rehab and sober house. I think he’ll take care of me so long as I do the right thing.
 
vision conquest said:
Hey man, can I ask, why are you getting off the methadone?

I know it has such a stigma surrounding it and a lot of people don't even consider you clean while you're on it but for me it's a life saver.

Believe me man heroin took nearly everything from me also, friends, any chance of a decent career, not that I was interested in that back then but it would be bloody cool now, and I spent years in prison, if not for the methadone I would be either dead or a full time jail bird, it saved my life and I see it far more as a positive than a negetive.

Anyway, really I am just curious, it's your life and your choice and I sincerely hope it works out for you.

If you using involved the dn then that is an advantage, not having a network of contacts you are bound to bump in to.

I am not a fan of doing the "geographic" in my experience it hardly ever works, it doesn't matter where you are you can always get on if you try hard enough, the change you need to make is internal.

It sounds like while you may have caused your family some pain they are still in your life, don't take that for granted man, it means a lot.

One more thing, I'm sure you've heard this before but the mind can make wd's much worse or much better depending on where your head is at, so don't convince yourself that you will be sick as a dog when the bup leaves, the protocol you're on is comprehensive, do the full bup taper and by the time all the bup leaves you might not be that bad at all, you could find that some clonidine and some diazepam and you will be ok.



All the best mate`

Edit.

Man I just thought I'd have a look in the ped forum and straight away I spotted your post, as I mentioned briefly in my previous post I also have a fair amount of experience using aas and I am currently on trt, one of the negetives about being on methadone for so long, it does have a negetive effect on test levels.

Anyway as I understand your post it sounds like you have been using test as well as other aas for the last year or so, if you have been on this long then you are going to make things much much worse for yourself if your levels of test bottom out as well as coming off the methadone.

Personally I think using aas at the same time as rec drugs is very counter productive but at this point that's irrelevant.

Seriously though man I would settle in to a trt protocol for at least the next few months, try to keep things as stable as possible until you get the methadone sorted out and then after that start thinking about doing some cycles when you are ready.

Just my opinion man, again wishing you all the best.
Click to expand...

and yes it is counter productive but in my experience high test in opiate withdrawal minimizes fatigue and depression. It also kept my sex drive alive even on the methadone and heroin.

it almost takes away some of opiates side effects.

but ya I quit the gym maybe 2 months ago.

I did a nice 300 mg shot of Test, half a vial of HGH and 150 of Tren A the day I left for rehab. It’s helped I know it has
 
A lot of times family, although their intentions may be of the best nature, do not understand addiction and how to deal properly with someone in your situation.

As stated before, although all the pieces need to line up, ultimately only you can want to be clean and make the necessary decisions to achieve that.

Threats from family, again while probably well intentioned, only complicate the situation further.

My advice, focus on the present, right this second. That means you, and only you, no one else, in the detox facility you're currently in. Let the rest of life's complications fade for now and revisit all of this later.

I've been where you are countless times, in a detox and family threatening to abandon me if I left and it never ended up well for me. It's too much to process in those circumstances.

Make the best decisions for you, no one else, in the end that's ultimately all you can do. Eventually those decisions will be good and can incorporate others, but for now, they need to be just for you.
 
This is not the time of year to be in withdrawals in CO mountains, altitude,and cold will really make this jump Horrible. Doable yes: but really unpleasant ! My only fear with your “ Hometown” plan is your availability to dope 😵😵😬😬
 
@OpiateKiller , you can only get and stay clean for yourself! Addiction and recovery are lonely places. But one takes your life and the other gives you a life. But having read this whole post , and followed you on here, I have one Huge concern;
you will need to be and get Clean of ALL DRUGS .... Steroids ,alcohol are drugs!! Addicts can Not use drugs! I am conflicted by my previous statements against the cold CO mountains, and a rewiring of your brain?? This Detox sounds like it will do just as the Dr promised, but the next steps are very critical for long term Clean time from all drugs?
merry Christmas 🎄 and good luck
 
Iceman1216 said:
@OpiateKiller , you can only get and stay clean for yourself! Addiction and recovery are lonely places. But one takes your life and the other gives you a life. But having read this whole post , and followed you on here, I have one Huge concern;
you will need to be and get Clean of ALL DRUGS .... Steroids ,alcohol are drugs!! Addicts can Not use drugs! I am conflicted by my previous statements against the cold CO mountains, and a rewiring of your brain?? This Detox sounds like it will do just as the Dr promised, but the next steps are very critical for long term Clean time from all drugs?
merry Christmas 🎄 and good luck
Click to expand...

love you bro you’ve always chimed in on for me and I appreciate you. Merry Christmas man
 
Deru said:
A lot of times family, although their intentions may be of the best nature, do not understand addiction and how to deal properly with someone in your situation.

As stated before, although all the pieces need to line up, ultimately only you can want to be clean and make the necessary decisions to achieve that.

Threats from family, again while probably well intentioned, only complicate the situation further.

My advice, focus on the present, right this second. That means you, and only you, no one else, in the detox facility you're currently in. Let the rest of life's complications fade for now and revisit all of this later.

I've been where you are countless times, in a detox and family threatening to abandon me if I left and it never ended up well for me. It's too much to process in those circumstances.

Make the best decisions for you, no one else, in the end that's ultimately all you can do. Eventually those decisions will be good and can incorporate others, but for now, they need to be just for you.
Click to expand...

dude that may have been the most well written piece of advice I’ve ever received in my life.

I actually just copy and pasted what you wrote and sent it to my Father.

you fucking nailed it.
 
You’re really going through it eh! I am so sorry you’re struggling so much with everything, especially dealing with family members who just don’t understand addiction.

As has been said, you could be anywhere in the world but the only thing that will get you sober is you. You need to try to push everything else aside now and focus on your goal of sobriety. Your family will come round, when they see you coping and getting yourself straight it’ll help. They are scared too but it sounds like they love you very much.

I hope you have an option for some talk therapy as I think you really will need it. I think it’ll be rough for you and there will be many times you’ll probably want to use so it would be good if you had some good coping strategies to follow.

I really do wish you all the best, keep focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel, you will get there.
 
Good morning! You will really need to work a program of some sort! I am most likely your dads age, so I got sober in 1983 (23) with AA , an 23 years latter went to rehab for opiates! Now I do both AA & NA everyday ( zoom) The meeting fill my mind with positive stories of Recovery, and warm me of the Dangers of Addiction!! We walk over a lot of bodies! I just lost a good friend this week 54 had everything, but got sober too late , Died of liver failure with , Wife Two daughters, great business, and Millions in the Bank, But He is Fucking Dead!!!!!!
Upon a waking(page 86 in the BB of AA) Let us think of the action we will take for the next 24 hours?? your are very important right now!!
Love ya - Ice
 
Iceman1216 said:
Good morning! You will really need to work a program of some sort! I am most likely your dads age, so I got sober in 1983 (23) with AA , an 23 years latter went to rehab for opiates! Now I do both AA & NA everyday ( zoom) The meeting fill my mind with positive stories of Recovery, and warm me of the Dangers of Addiction!! We walk over a lot of bodies! I just lost a good friend this week 54 had everything, but got sober too late , Died of liver failure with , Wife Two daughters, great business, and Millions in the Bank, But He is Fucking Dead!!!!!!
Upon a waking(page 86 in the BB of AA) Let us think of the action we will take for the next 24 hours?? your are very important right now!!
Love ya - Ice
Click to expand...

100%. I think AA has its flaws but it’s always helped me
And it’s the only way I’ve stayed sober in the past long term. It works.
I should read page 86-88 every morning we did that in a sober house.
 
I agree with what has been said.
Sounds like you truly want to get sober which is the most important thing. Just do it for yourself so you can have a better life in the future. It sucks that your loved ones are acting that way but it's probably their way of giving you "tough love", they don't really know what you're going through so don't expect them to understand everything.

Don't forget that getting sober is not only about stopping drugs, it's about changing your lifestyle. Use this experience to learn better copping mechanisms, find a new hobby, get new skills, fix and/or make new relationships, etc... In the end that's more important than not taking "drugs" and it's precisely what will keep you sober long term.
So it's not always a good idea to rush the whole process, your mind&body will need some time to get used to it. I see it more as a journey as opposed to a fixed destination.
At least in my opinion.
 
I just wanna thank everyone whose helped me in this thread as well as other threads.

Bluelight truly has become a resource for me that has been life changing.

It is therapeutic to have a place where you can truly speak your mind and not be judged. To be understood. To have fellow addicts and drug users who understand me. You guys get it. You've lived basically the same or very similar experiences.

This site is amazing.

@TheLoveBandit - I believe this is the owner? or creator? God bless you for starting or running this site.

If I get rich expect a nice fat donation to keep her running.

But thank you everyone. honestly. This community is incredible and I wish you all nothing but the fucking best in this world.

PS - Unintentionally that was my 1,000th post. Thanks for the funny coincidence God. Haha fuck.
 
Oh then I deleted a thread about dick in healtth and recovery which dropped me down to 998 posts... damn it LOL
 
The clinical director of this rehab said I'm being abusive to my family by not going to the wilderness rehab LOL

what a fucking joke. Couldn't help but laugh at that one
 
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