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Stimulants My Ex-BF died last Thursday and I need answers

needanswersnow

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2015
Messages
22
We lived together for 3 years and being a recovering addict myself, I couldn't deal with his drug use. He would do coke (we used together once and he was so paranoid that I never did it again with or without him) ecstasy and had a regular weed habit. He was a heavy cigarette smoker and had high blood pressure (looking back now I am sure it was from continued drug usage). From the beginning of our relationship he was angry all the time, physically violent and very verbally abusive. He always sweated profusely and had a weird body odor. I could never understand why he was nice one minute and then flipping out saying I was mumbling under my breath when I had never said a word, the next. After I kicked him out of my house we remained best friends, just no romantic involvement.

I have noticed over the last few months he was complaining more and more about severe headaches, stomach cramps, rectal bleeding, although he was overweight his face started to look somewhat sunken in, not bad but noticeable to me. He had not lost any weight and didn't eat well nor did he drink water, it was always soda. His chest was really congested and his breathing was heavy like someone with COPD. He would cough until he turned purple and would get lightheaded almost to the point of passing out.

I saw him on Saturday and he was being super nice. He was at a friends house working on motorcycles and not one time did he get frustrated or flip out like he typically would. He told his friend he was on acid but his movements were quick, he was talkative and upbeat and his hands were a bit shaky. He told me he would be by the house early Sunday to pick me up to go fishing. He never showed up which was normal so I went on my own and when I got home Sunday afternoon I tried calling him and his phone was off. I decided to go by his house around 6pm. When I knocked he didn't immediately open the door. I noticed 2 of his blinds were cut on his front window where he could peek out of it and see outside but all the windows were covered with dark curtains. After banging on the door and calling his name he finally answered it and I could tell something wasn't right. His face was reallllly red and I asked what was wrong and he said he had a severe headache and had been trying to sleep it off but his neighbors had been working on their car all day and he kept being wakened by them honking the horn. Come to find out he had helped those said neighbors work on their car the day before (Saturday). His pupils weren't dilated, but rather constricted and he was a bit sweaty. The temp in his apartment was 70 degrees. He seemed a little disoriented and when I made him plug his phone in and turn it on I noticed he was shaking pretty bad. He looked at his phone a couple of times and couldn't figure out how to check his call log so he put the phone down. I asked him what he was on and at first he said nothing. I knew he was on something so I pressed him and he said he took a hit of acid at 10pm the night before. I asked him if he had a bad trip and he said no he just thought it was cut with too much stricnine (sp?) I asked if he needed me to take him to the hospital and he said no he was going to take a shower and sleep it off. Of course I did a little lecturing and hung out for approx. 20 minutes. I should have known better than to leave but I was angry at him for using.

Anytime I have caught him using in the past he would avoid me for several days to give me time to cool down and then he would come back around and promise to never do it again. I tried calling him every day, several times a day and didn't get an answer so I assumed it was just going to take him a little more time. On Thursday morning during my prayer time I felt the need to go by and check on him again so after working that morning I left early for lunch and went by to find his vehicle hadn't been moved since I was there on Sunday. In my heart I knew what I was going to find. I knocked on his door and no answer but I could smell decomposition through the door. I called 911 and upon them entering his apartment they found him in the bathroom, wedged between the toilet and bathtub, face up and head turned to the left. The pictures on his wall in the bathroom were knocked onto the floor, his toilet seat was down, he was in the same boxers I saw him in on Sunday and his shorts and tshirt were underneath him. After going into his apartment and observing everything I know he died not long after I left. I checked his phone log and there were no calls made or received and my text message to him was the last one on his phone. We did not find any drugs other than his marijuana and no pariphanalia (sp?)

After doing some investigation on my own, I learned that he had used coke back at the end of Feb. Then a few weeks ago he bought an 8 ball of coke. The last 2 weeks he bought $75 worth of meth. From what I have been told that is about 1.5 grams. I have no idea how much that is but I have been told it is a lot. I do know that he bought meth on either Friday night or Saturday night. And he told me he had bought the acid. Somehow I don't think he actually bought the acid, it was just a lie to throw me off as to what he was really doing. I found his bed stripped of all his sheets and his blankets were in the washer and dryer.

Looking back now I see the big picture and I am sure his addiction was far worse than what I will ever know but I have no experience with meth. Here are my questions

1. Have you ever watched someone die from a meth overdose? what was it like?
2. Is there anything I could have done different to save him?
3. What was he likely to be thinking or feeling and was it a painful death?
4. Could 1.5 grams over a 24-48hr period be fatal or would he have had to taken more, or a combo of drugs?
5. Does this sound like a meth overdose or could it have been coke?

We wont have the autopsy report with toxicology back for 6-8 weeks and I need answers now. His method of ingestion was snorting as far as I know. I have never seen needle marks and I have never seen an indication of smoking it unless he smoked it in his marijuana.

Any answers you can give will be super helpful. I don't want anything sugar coated. I was in his apartment for 7 hours after they removed his body and I will never forget the smell. If I can handle that I know I can handle the details of what his last ride was like. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
 
You'll have to wait for the toxicology report, it's impossible to say what happened based solely upon how he was behaving, and people can lie about drug usage...

really almost anything could have happened, from a stroke to a heart attack to a blood clot to his heart randomly stopping. If he took a bunch of NBOMe analogues (LSD mimic) it's possible that could have killed him too.

But it's impossible to say what went on after you left until doctors can figure out what was in his blood.

I'm sorry if this doesn't give you closure but it wouldn't be right to speculate openly and get the answers wrong about something so important to you.
 
Thank you. Yesterday was an ok day. Today, I am not so sure yet. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. I went to the doctor and he gave me Xanax but my fear is it will only numb the pain and grief until I don't have it anymore and then it will be harder to deal with. My boss wants me back at work and I just cant. I feel like a weak failure.
 
Xanax is a hellish addiction as well. That being said used responsibly it can be great for anxiety and shaking.

There is the possibility he was using opiates as that would make more sense to pass after a dose. Still no one should speculate as it could be harmful to give you a false picture. As seiko said wait for the toxicology report as that will give you a clear answer.

It is terrible you have to go through this and I wish you peace in life and for him peace in rest. Remember it's not your fault. Your friend would not want you to beat yourself up over his mistakes, but learn from them and live life as best you can learning from his errors. It's a tough path, but you will make it through strong being the caring person you are.

Take care and remember there's always someone there when you are in need.
 
You never know, It might of been a pre-existing condition. may not of been drugs at all...
 
I am sorry for your loss. My ex-boyfriend overdosed on heroin last year. It was horrible. I found him as well after not receiving any responses to text. He was still trying to be with me so he sent texts on a regular basis. :(
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope he's in a better place now.
 
Thank each of you for the response. Looking back on everything, I know it was a meth overdose. I thank GOD I was strong enough to not get sucked into that life.... I have my own demons and struggles that I have fought to overcome. This forum has helped me so much over the last 24 hours, it has answered so many questions.

I haven't even taken any of the Xanax, today.... I know I have to feel it... go through all the stages of grief. IT SUCKS!!!!!!!! But I suppose it is necessary. I lost my dad 7/29/07 to alcohol induced heart attack. Had to make the decision to take him off of life support. Long story short, he ended up being buried on my birthday and I preached his funeral.... I lost my cousin 5/8/08 to a crack overdose, I was supposed to go by and see her but for my own selfish reasons didn't. 8/12/12 I lost one of my childhood friends to Xanax/Ambien overdose. She had come by the house 5 days earlier and asked me to watch after her family if something should ever happen to her. And now this........ am I missing something? Is there a message I am missing in all of this? I am sorry for rambling.
 
My nephew just died from a combo of methadone/xanax. He was tricked into taking it, had an allergic reaction to the methadone, oxygen loss, brain death and died after we removed life support.

Thing is ....

Toxicology is the only way you will get answers. I know..the waiting period, unanswered questions, speculation will drive you insane. All you can do is wait. Yes, we can all speculate, yet it's not fact he was high, he could have been ill.

Has the Coroner/M.E offered some preliminary cause if death...such as cardiovascular, aneurysm, etc. pending toxicology?

Did he ever speedball, or do meth?

His BP/HR could have caused a heart attack, renal failure, stroke, etc...you just don't know. It could have been od\poly drug induced. He could have had an undiagnosed enlarged heart, which could have triggered a MI.

***Toxicology will measure the ng of everything down to caffiene and nicotine.**** Autopsy reports are hard to read yet I've read many. It's heartbreaking to know what they go through during the process, you know?

Deepest sympathy for your loss. If you need help with medical terminology after the reports, feel free to inbox me, I'll help you understand.

The family will only have access to the final report. Stay on good terms, or you may not be able to find out. Unless you have a really cool Coroner who will give you report.

Hugs honey. We have all experienced losses via drug induced...senseless deaths. I applaud you for overcoming your demons. Perhaps you can educate others now.

(P.S. MY toddler son was murdered in 2002, that's one autopsy report I can never, ever look at again.)
 
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Sometimes there is no message... Shit happens to hit the fan and make a huge mess every now and again, but all you can do is bear the stench, clean it up, and continue living on moving forward or else you will be stuck living in a pile of shit no one will clean if it isn't in their space. It's human/animal nature to be selfish.

Just remember you are strong. You will get through this. While there may be no message a situation is only good or bad based on how you look at it and what you make of it. Inheritly nothing is good or bad, but just what it is. It can either become all bad leaving you in misery or you can make the best out of it learning from their mistakes and making better choices as it seems you always have, which is why your still alive.

While it is not a good idea to hold on to the memories of the tragedy as it will prevent you from moving forward although at the same time it is important to share your struggles in appropriate collections of people so you can get through those difficult emotions that need to be released as if they are held in they will only eat away at you from inside unless you release them. The other possible benefit is someone who is struggling may find inspiration to overcome their struggles hearing what you have to share and being able to recognize your strength to still stand tall after everything that's happened.

From your words you seem like a very caring and supportive person. It is a shame you have had to go through so much tragedy. I do hope ribs get better for you soon and you find someone who makes you happy even just a friend who reminds you there's always something else to discover in life. The world is immense and sadly it includes life and death, but that is a beauty that may exist only on this planet although probably not likely.

Stay strong! You'll get through this! You're awesome and amazing! Try chamomile tea too or even a skullcap tincture. Both can be great for anxiety. With the chamomile tea soak it in water with 1-3 ml of 40% vodka to help extract everything from the herb without causing any heavy alcohol intoxication, which has a fine line of helping and harming as I'm sure you know.

Edit :to the person above how is one tricked into methadone? Was it a careless drug pusher or careless doctor? Same thing right?
 
Sometimes there is no message... Shit happens to hit the fan and make a huge mess every now and again, but all you can do is bear the stench, clean it up, and continue living on moving forward or else you will be stuck living in a pile of shit no one will clean if it isn't in their space. It's human/animal nature to be selfish.

Just remember you are strong. You will get through this. While there may be no message a situation is only good or bad based on how you look at it and what you make of it. Inheritly nothing is good or bad, but just what it is. It can either become all bad leaving you in misery or you can make the best out of it learning from their mistakes and making better choices as it seems you always have, which is why your still alive.

While it is not a good idea to hold on to the memories of the tragedy as it will prevent you from moving forward although at the same time it is important to share your struggles in appropriate collections of people so you can get through those difficult emotions that need to be released as if they are held in they will only eat away at you from inside unless you release them. The other possible benefit is someone who is struggling may find inspiration to overcome their struggles hearing what you have to share and being able to recognize your strength to still stand tall after everything that's happened.

From your words you seem like a very caring and supportive person. It is a shame you have had to go through so much tragedy. I do hope ribs get better for you soon and you find someone who makes you happy even just a friend who reminds you there's always something else to discover in life. The world is immense and sadly it includes life and death, but that is a beauty that may exist only on this planet although probably not likely.

Stay strong! You'll get through this! You're awesome and amazing! Try chamomile tea too or even a skullcap tincture. Both can be great for anxiety. With the chamomile tea soak it in water with 1-3 ml of 40% vodka to help extract everything from the herb without causing any heavy alcohol intoxication, which has a fine line of helping and harming as I'm sure you know.

Edit :to the person above how is one tricked into methadone? Was it a careless drug pusher or careless doctor? Same thing right?

Story is on Dark Side forum. He took it unaware it was methadone, anaphylasis, died...xanax was crushed inthe liquid methadone.
Long story short, criminal charges involved. All witnesses state he was tricked into drinking it. Stupid mistake for an 18 yr old kid.
 
I went fishing today, something we often did together. I prayed and asked God to show me a sign that my BFF was with him and at peace. I asked for one fish, just one........ I caught 3!!!!!

I cant say THANK YOU enough for each of you that have responded or read this thread and sent me a positive thought, a prayer or good vibes. I am so blessed to have stumbled across this site. I will be sure to say a prayer tonight for each and every one of you tonight.

I have taken the rest of the week off of work and I am heading out in the morning on a road trip..... Don't know where I will end up but my plan is to spend the day showing God's love to others. I think the best way to get through this is to take what I have been through and make a positive out of it.
 
Sorry for everyones losses.

My nephew just died from a combo of methadone/xanax. He was tricked into taking it, had an allergic reaction to the methadone, oxygen loss, brain death

I dont mean to be rude, but how was he tricked into taking it?
 
Wowzers liloki I can see some assholes mixing xan in liquid methadone knowing they are literally dying for xanax and willing to drink an unknown mix that people might tell them is pure xanax nothing else even if someone can point out and recognize the syrup as methadone mix. I'm assuming that was the situation, which would be really messed up. Please correct me if I'm wrong....

Edit :liloki you have been through a lot as well. I honestly tear writing this for you. All I can say is you are an amazing person. Thank you for choosing to still be here.

To the op I am glad to hear you had such a good fishing experience. Your road trip idea sounds fantastic if you are really prepared to just journey. Just remember it's not just about giving love, but receiving love too. As long as your mind is open and heart is strong I would think you could go further than you thought you ever could. Just remember even though there may be some adversities and tough bumps in your path it's the journey as a whole that is most important, which these smooth and bumpy roads make up. That's why the ability to step back is just as important as being able to step in.

I wish you well on your journeys and would love to hear updates!
 
I drove 484 miles today. I went and met a man named Michael Stuckey who has been walking across the US for 13 years and has walked over 37500 mile in that time. He has a facebook page called Eyes On Mr Stuckey...... It was so amazing to get out and just drive. The weather was beautiful, the air smelled so clean and alive. I picked Mr. Stuckey up and we went to eat at Dairy Queen and we talked and laughed and we had church right in DQ. LOL.... He is amazing and he said something so profound.... He said "NAN" YOU ARE NOT GOD, it is not your responsibility to SAVE people, that is Gods job. Your job is to plant the seed. Tomorrow is looking like another day of fishing!
 
I highly doubt methamphetamine is to blame. It was recently ranked the second safest illegal drug after marijuana. But, although it is hard to overdose on at typical recreational dosages, doing so is not impossible. A teenager swallowed a large amount last year at the border, started screaming uncontrollably, and then died. So, yes, it is an unpleasant way to die.
 
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